Everyone thinks they know Sunggyu enough to know what’s going through his mind, when in reality, Sunggyu doesn’t even know himself.

It’s his last time for a while.

The room is filled with howls, shrieks, whoops and laughter that will surely stay in Sunggyu’s mind the next years. Jungryoul is standing up, telling everyone to shut up and let himself explain between chuckles and nervous giggles, a bottle of beer in his hand. Sunggyu isn’t sure how much the other has had, since he’s been focusing on enjoying the single bottle he’ll have tonight.

Sungyeol is sitting besides him, laughing loudly and clapping with his hands as their manager tries to eat the biggest wrap of meat they both have ever seen. Sunggyu can’t help but laugh too, although his attention is fixed on lingering this moment in his memory.

Sungjong passes Sunggyu a little glass of soju, and even though Sunggyu didn’t plan on drinking much, he can’t say no to him. Not today. So without thinking it, he drinks it in one shot, suddenly noticing the cheering from around the table. Everyone’s eyes are on him, smiling, laughing. The alcohol burns Sunggyu’s throat deliciously and he smiles at the attention.

Jongwan is sitting at the foot of the table. Comfortable in his seat, he’s looking over at Sunggyu with a smirk. Sunggyu doesn’t dare to say it outloud, but sometimes he feels Jongwan like a 2nd father to him, and it’s in moments like these that he believes the older is proud of him. Proud of where he has gotten, of what he has achieved so far. A few days before they were both singing on stage with Tablo, and he still remembers the feeling, the excitement and thrill of a dream of his becoming truth.

Dongwoo’s big laugh takes Sunggyu off his mind, and he turns around in the exact moment to see when the younger drinks two soju shots in one gulp. Dongwoo is not a great drinker, so this, of course, makes him scowl at the end. But everyone is being loud, saying that he’s amazing or that he should drink even more. Dongwoo smiles at the end, and Sunggyu mirrors him right away when their eyes meet.

“Sunggyu” Tablo calls his attention. He’s standing up in front of him at the other side of the table, holding up two shots of soju. He’s looking down at Sunggyu, and the younger doesn’t think much before standing up too, taking one of the two. They both link their arms and drink the shot, and the burn is there again, lingering in his throat.

He doesn’t want to think much about what this party means, doesn’t want to believe there’s such thing as a last time. It’s stupid to believe he won’t be as happy as he is tonight, in this right moment. The jokes coming from his right and left are easy to blend his sour thoughts into more happy ones. Tonight is all about himself.

“Hyung” Sungyeol says, and although almost everyone here is older than him, no one but him reacts to the name. He’s holding up his phone, offering it to him. “It’s Myungsoo”

Sunggyu stands up, receiving the phone and making his way out of the room to hear Myungsoo better. He steps out of the restaurant altogether and stands by the sideway.

“Hyung” Myungsoo says from the other side of the line. “How’ve you been?”

Sunggyu smiles. “I’m fine, of course.”

Myungsoo sighs heavily, and Sunggyu can easily recognize the distress in his voice when he speaks, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there, hyung. I really--”

“Yah” Sunggyu interrupts him, “don’t apologize. I know you’re busy, that’s why I told you not to come to begin with.”

“But I could’ve--”

“--but you would’ve pushed your recording schedule. I can’t let you do that. It’s fine, really, I don’t mind.”

Myungsoo laughs, bitterly. “I hate it when you’re like this.”

“Huh?”

“You should be mad, hyung. You shouldn’t leave me off the hook this easily.”

Sunggyu chuckles. “You want me to get mad?”

“It would’ve been the logical reaction.”

“You’re not making much sense, though.” Sunggyu answers with a playful tone, and it’s only here when Myungsoo actually chuckles back, tired.

“I’m quite tired..”

Sunggyu would say something like ‘then go to sleep’ but he knows Myungsoo would only get mad, and a tiny part of him doesn’t want to hang up. He wants to stay here on the line with him, at least a minute more.

“How’s everyone? Are you having fun?”

“Yeah” Sunggyu sighs, “everyone’s having a blast. Sungyeol is back on telling old stories about me, y’know, so everyone can laugh at me. Sungjong is actually drinking, but he’s still early on his drinks, so all good. Dongwoo, well, with or without drinks, he’s quite the same.”

“Have you contacted Howon-hyung?” Myungsoo asks. There’s some fumbling in his side of the line, and then a placid sigh.

“You going to sleep?”

“Just lying down.”

“Mhm. Well, yeah, I talked over the phone with him last week, and we met the day before yesterday.”

“How is he?” Myungsoo asks, voice each time sounding softer.

Sunggyu snorts. “Call him yourself.”

“You think I have time for that? Or him? Heard he’s getting into another drama.”

He laughs. “Yeah, he’s doing okay. He’s busy, but not a lot, as of yet.”

“Glad to hear that.” Myungsoo yawns.

“You wanna hang up? You sound really tired.”

“Mhm. In a bit. How are you with Hyun?” He then asks.

Sunggyu stiffens. Woohyun.

“Uh, he’s good.”

“But, you two, I meant.”

To be quite honest, Sunggyu doesn’t have a clue. They’ve been fine, of course. Ever since Sunggyu finished his musical, they’ve been going out more and more, getting back on track on their relationship, little dates here and there that they actually missed having, even though neither of them said it outloud.

But then the letter came. And Woohyun had been getting ready for his own musical. And Sunggyu had been also busy, getting ready for his first ever solo concert. And it hadn't been the best way to say it, but Sunggyu told Woohyu