JUST THINK OF WHOEVER IDOL YOU SHIP WITH HER ... I WAS HONESTLY THINKING OF JAEJOONG ;)

Another episode of Strong Heart had come again with Dara and Bom as one of the guests and it was obvious that the older of the two was a little worried over how the other was acting after the whole situation with her and her ex boyfriend who she was still in love with even after he already made clear that there is no chance at all that they’ll get back with each other, but for the sake of everybody else Dara painted a happy face even though deep inside she’s hurting so much.

“Dara you don’t need to put up that face” Bom sighed ruffling Dara’s hair, she knows clearly what’s going on between the two from the beginning of their relationship to the downfall and till now. Although Dara shows a strong façade her heart is as weak as her body and this is what Bom is afraid of, she’s scared that Dara would take in everything to heart – like she doesn’t already and ends up hurting herself and the others in the process of trying to get over her heartache.

“I’m fine Bommie” she answered with a smile believable to others but not to her, the older just sighed giving up for the day.

The staff of the show finally called up everyone to the set so they could get ready for the filming, the week’s theme that fit’s Dara perfectly, the reason to pursue. Just by the look on her eyes Bom already knew what she was going to tell and how’s it going to be but she was surprised on how Dara handled it.

“Dara-ssi” the MC turned to the fresh vocal who was still laughing a little at Eunhyuk’s story, she turned around facing him with a bright smile that made the latter blush a little and that wasn’t missed by the guests and so they started ‘ooohhing’, teasing the guy.

“Neh!” she answered in a high cute tone and then holding the bored which said ‘Why I still can’t stop!’. Even at first every one already had interest on her story then again she always told good ones. She squirmed a little, took a quick drink of the water then turned up front to get started.

“Is this about work or love?” the MC asked.  “Love” she answered almost instantly, the others chuckled at how cutely she wanted to get started. Seungi gestured the girl to continue on her story and she smiled sweetly at him.

“I might get reprimanded for telling this story …” she chuckled as her sajangnim’s face suddenly passing by her head. “Aigoo … I might too!” Bom added to that causing a great laughter on the set.

“Anyways! There are times when idols speak about their love stories as if they were telling someone else’s but tonight I’m going to be honest to everyone else and tell my own” she started and that got every body’s attention much more. Hearing the seriousness of her voice beyond that sweet tone all knees were turned towards her with eyes intently watching.

“About 4,3 years ago I fell in love with this person that was a little hard to deal with, but even with that I couldn’t help myself but fall in love with him a little too deeply every day …” hearing those words from the girl all the female guests couldn’t help but smile.

“Is he someone famous?” Seo In Young asked out of nowhere, Dara was a little surprised by that sudden question. At that couple of seconds she thought about the consequences she and he might go through if she decided to let them all know who he is and she came to the decision she should just say yes. “Yes he is” she answered and they all gasped at that.

“But then even though our love story was a fairytale it had to end” she talked, her face had no expression but normal her voice said a lot not only sadness but also longing.

“Why?” another guest asked. Although Bom was Dara’s friend even before that this is the first time she’s hearing this part of the story.

“At that time he was already famous throughout and I was just still a trainee with a long way to go, if someone ever finds out about that there wouldn’t be much effect on me and a lot for him” she answered truthfully, her explanation was pretty similar for that kind of relationship and there aren’t a lot of couples who get through that stage or thinking. “And because of that I broke up with him … with his personality if I told the real reason why I broke up with him he’ll just insist that we’d get through it no matter what even if he’s the one suffering more but that’s the whole point … I’d rather be hurt than seeing him go all through that just because of me.” she continued on.

The audience got touched with just that, seeing the girl who they thought would just be single forever right in front of them talking about a heartbreak they wouldn’t probably be going through and thinking about it they came to thought that it’s probably the reason why she doesn’t let anyone in that gate she close for everyone.

“So was the reason you gave him is you found someone else already?” Seungi said and she nodded. “Pretty shallow to throw away a love like that” she joked but instead of even giving a little chuckle to that they all felt sadness fill up their happy mood.

“For that 4,3 years I watched him from afar, how successful his career got, how happy he got and even all the relationships he’d been into. For those years of course I didn’t forget about my goal in life and honestly speaking even though I was really happy that slowly my dreams all came true it was still inevitable of the pain for losing him even after that.”

“After all those years you then thought if it’s still possible be with him again?” Leeteuk talked, it was supposed to be a statement but then came out as a question.

“Yes … and I guess I deserve the rejection because of what I did back then” she laughed. They all gasped hearing that the pretty idol got rejected but they all understood the reason of the guy though.

“Does he know why though?” the other guests now looked like they were the MCs and looked at her with their eyes and ears wanting to know the whole story, Seungi who noticed this became a little bit sad but amused all at the same time.

Instead of answering she just shook her head ‘no’.

“God knows how many times I tried to tell him … tried to explain to him why I did that but merely seeing my shadow coming near him he would walk away not even bothering to hear what I have to say”  … she took a short pause thinking of what she’s going to say next – that’s what the rest thought but she was trying to calm herself, she told herself she wouldn’t cry while talking today but with all the memories good , bad, happy, sad  she just couldn’t get her emotions straight up.

“Then are you here today to maybe let him know about this?” Seungi asked but to his and everybody else’s surprise she shook her head no again.

“A couple of days ago, after insisting to him to give me just a couple of minutes to explain everything he finally gave in … At the time I thought it was all going to go well, I smiled the way he liked it but all I got was a scowl I thought of joking and telling him don’t act like that in front of a lady but it’ll just make the situation worse so I didn’t say anything  … I haven’t really started to get my explanation going when he out of nowhere ask  ‘Is this who you really are?’ I was confused to what he was talking about  …”

“Wait a minute! Umm.. at that time when you broke up with him what was going on with his career?”  Leeteuk again asked. It seemed like he knows who she’s talking about but was still a little unclear.

“There were things going on  … and I bet you all could think why he asked that question to me” Dara was a little bit surprised to hear him talk, she was getting nervous if he do finds out who the person is she just played it cool. “Both of us weren’t talking, I just looked at him confused while he had this smirk or more like disgusted look on his face then he said ‘You broke up with me because I wasn’t that famous anymore and now that I’m doing well you just suddenly come asking me all this!  That’s really pathetic don’t you think Dara’ …” she stopped right there, all of them had an expression on their faces that said much more than just surprised it was anger towards the guy.

Right now they were all thinking how can he say those words when he hasn’t even heard the whole story yet. Although they all want to side with Dara there was still the whole thing with her leaving the guy because of those reasons.

“After saying that he got up and headed towards the doors, I pleaded for him to just stay awhile more and hear my whole explanation but he didn’t listen and just left …” she then got cut off again but this time by Bom. “So are you just giving up?” she hoped for her friend to just say yes and move on, just like all her members she doesn’t want to see the girl be hurt more just because of one guy.

Dara sighed before answering. “I am!” she answered shortly. Her voice didn’t agree with what she said. “Before I went to talk to him that night I already knew what he was going to say, how it’s going to end up but I still couldn’t help but hope a little” she chuckled realizing how sad it was. “but after what happened I realize I would just keep hurting not only myself but the people who actually cares for me more …“ she smiled at Bom who couldn’t help but feel all the sadness in the world for her dear Park sister.

“I know it got further away from what my board said but I don’t think it’s all worth telling anymore” she sighed a little and no more can she hold those tears, they all flowed down and so did the rests’.

“Is there anything you like to tell the guy?” Seungi asked for the closing of Dara’s part, she nodded then looked straight at the camera.

Before speaking Dara stood up from her seat and bowed. “I’m sorry for all the things that you’ve gone through because of me and I don’t expect you to forgive me. All I want from you is to understand the reasons I did it! You wouldn’t probably believe me if I told you through those years I was hurting because of your absence in my life … I’m sorry for loving you too much till now” she said all that while she was bowing and when she finally finished she looked up and the audience saw a Dara Park they’ve never seen before. She had a smile on her face although tears were streaming down her eyes.  

The filming finished, every one of the guest went and talked to Dara if she was doing fine, she just smiled yes like it wasn’t hurting her at all when deep inside she’s shredding into pieces because of the decision she made.

She didn’t know all this while that person she talked about was standing in front of her behind the staffs seeing and hearing everything from the start. His tears flowed down learning the whole reason, now he’s wishing he could take back everything he said that day and that he had stayed to hear everything. Now that she gave up with him his heart ached so bad because up until now he never stopped loving the girl even though they parted the love she felt for her back then is still the same now – it never faded and never will.

“Hey!” he spoke up walking near Dara, she couldn’t believe who she was seeing in front of her not after the whole conversation they had. She noticed his red eye even in the dim light, she was worried of course. Dara held out her hand to touch his face unconsciously but when she realized what she was doing she flinched back a little and bowed her head apologizing for her sudden action.

“Annyeonghaseyo sunbaenim” she bowed being a respectful hoobae.

Bom was about to walk to Dara so they can go back to the dorm and rest but when she saw the two of them she wanted to pull her out of that situation before she loose her grip again but she knows she needs to talk to him properly too so she went ahead to the car and just sent the girl a message.

“I’m sorry but I have to go” Dara excused herself because she knows perfectly if she stays any longer around him all the hard work she did for convincing herself to move on would all be at lost. She started walking away but then she got held back by him. “Dara!” he said lowly the sorrow felt on his voice.

Dara stopped and she felt her hand swing back to her side, she slowly turned to look at the guy then said. “I didn’t think I’d ever love you this much when I first met you … You’re not the first person I ever went out with … but you were my first love” she smiled the best she can but when she turned to walk away another set of tears fell from her face.

Not speaking any other words he left the man alone with confused thoughts and realizations over everything that had happened between them. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, he held out his hands hoping for her to come back and take it but she didn’t come, tears rolled down his cheeks waiting for the moment for her to wipe it all away and when he opened his eyes again the door closed and she was completely gone.