Special chapter. You guys know what i mean, right? 

btw for the others, get ready for this gut punch.

Blood stains,

wet pillows,

swollen eyes,

dried lips,

small scars,

even big ones.

Is all that Sana had.

she kept thinking. If she is the first for Dahyun, is she going to be her last? Heh. Of course not. But if god really made us to be together, then way to go. 

“After all, I dont think that I can let go of you, you’re the first person to let me experience everything. Being sweet to just one person, being worried as hell, exchanging i love you’s, I admit, I really love you, Sana .”

Sana scrolled the old messages from dahyun in her phone again and again. Some parts, she smiled. Some parts she cried, especially when she read their arguement. 

“Oh I’m such a huge .” Sana said to herself

the curtains are closed, the television was left on for days, the dishes, the dim light, Sana couldn’t tell whether its day or night. She’s only 16, a high school senior and maybe, she will be a school dropout soon.

”if you don’t take care of yourself, I’ll be mad >:(“

sana glanced again at her phone screen, she snapped out of her mind and gained all the strength she had to stand.

she went for a shower, and dressed herself in a hoodie and a black tight jeans, which she loved to pair them with her sport shoes collection.

she grabbed her backpack and went to school, by taxi.

”Minatozaki. Late. Detention.” The teacher sighed in disappointment and gave sana the detention pass.

she took a seat in the detention room, and fished out her phone from her pocket. 

”sana unnie, make sure you have proper breakfast.” 

Sana tucked her phone inside her pocket, she questioned herself,

”why am I reading old messages? I need new ones. But I can’t.”

sana shifted in her seat when she realized someone sat at the table next to her. She smiled bitterly and clearled .

”what brings you here?”

”sana, stop it. We can’t. I’m trying to have a normal life-“

”relax. I just wanted to have a conversation.”

”What’s left to be talk about, sana?” Dahyun hissed and left detention 

“miss kim! Where are you going?” The teacher scolded

but Dahyun didn’t listen, she left. 

Sana plugged in her earphones, listening to Let Me Go

”I’ve been hoping, somebody’s love you the ways I couldn’t, somebody’s taking care of all of the mess I made, someone you don’t have to change-“

sana gasped when someone grabbed her wrist. She lifted her chin , her eyes seeing the person she’d die for.

”dahyun?”

”come with me.”

sana ignored the shout from the teacher, and followed dahyun.

she’ll follow to the end, even to her death.

dahyun lead her to an empty class, and finally stopped dragging sana.

”What’s wrong with you?”

”huh?”

”sana , please. You need to move on with your life. It’s your life and you should live it.”

”but I want to live my life by loving you.”

”I cannot go on like this, giving fake hopes to you. I can’t.”

”then why did you drag me here? Why?”

”I’m telling you that, you need to stop being like this. You skipped school and all, there’s gotta be a solution for this.”

”my solution is you, dahyun.”

sana intertwine their fingers, with the sincere look in her eyes.

”i love you. I’m serious. I’ll always love you, no matter how hard it takes, even if it kills me. “

”Sana-“

sana Shut Dahyun’s mouth buy kissing her bottom lip softly, humming in satisfaction.

sana only wanted this lip. No other can be compared to this one.

dahyun closed her eyes and moved both of her hands to Sana’s nape. She pulled the baby hair there, making the kiss more intense.

sana likes it passionate and slow, and that’s what dahyun is giving her.

sana pulled away, touching their foreheads together. “Stay. With me. Let’s make this work.”

”n-no..” Dahyun breathed out

”stay with me and make love to me, Dahyunnie. Please..” 

dahyun smiled, tugging Sana’s hoodie “this is my hoodie, you know.”

”i love it because it smells like you no matter how many times I wash it.”

”but no, I don’t love you sana. Please, I’m letting you go. Please go..”

”no.”

PANGG

sana held her left cheek, her tears are betraying her.

”you just slapped me..”

”goddamit sana! Grow up! Live your life and dont be stuck with me! Don’t you get the point I’m trying to tell you? I. DONT. LOVE. YOU.”

”h-huh?”

”AND YOU. I LOVED YOU BUT YOU ARE A MESS. YOU KEPT DOUBTING ME. THATS IT. FROM NOW ON YOU CAN YOURSELF. I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.”

”is this about momo? You love her that’s why you left me?”

”! ITS NOT ABOUT HER! ITS ABOUT YOU AND ME! WERE GOING TO ING GRADUATE, BUT YOURE STILL STUCK AT THIS SAME PROBLEM!” Dahyun shouted

dahyun stormed out of there, leaving sana, again.

sana left school and went to a bridge, where she first met dahyun, when she tried to kill herself once.

when sana fell, she felt Dahyun’s embrace.

-