Jongin’s fate was sealed the moment his parents conceived him.

It was as though he knew of his own importance the moment he slipped out through the birth canal—he didn’t cry until he was forced to by the doctor giving a decent smack on his left cheek. Later on, his mother told him it was because of excess amniotic fluid blocking his lungs’ ability to take in a good breath. Jongin liked to believe it was because he was busy taking in such a powerful, awe inspiring moment instead—his first time being out in a world he was born to rule.

He was a future king.

That little detail, however, would set the precedent for the rest of Jongin’s life.

One of his earliest memories includes sitting on his father’s lap in the conference hall, trying to pull at the drawstrings of his royal robes as they sit before a group of men discussing things Jongin doesn’t understand a word of.

The repeated words of “you will be king one day, my son” don’t mean anything to him until he watches Mufasa explain to Simba how everything the light touches is their kingdom, and then the realization dawns on him.

Jongin has two epiphanies at the age of four, one of them being that The Lion King is the best movie of all time.

The second being that he just can’t wait to be king.

Jongin is thrilled at the prospect of being a king. He will wear beautiful clothes, an awesome gold crown, and have the prettiest wife—or handsomest husband, he’s not picky—in all the land. And they will have a lot of kids and live happily ever after.

So when pre-school starts, and Jongin smiles to his really cute desk mate and says “Hi, w-will you b-be my f-f-friend?” and the desk mate stares in shock before bursting out into a loud laughter, Jongin learns rather quickly how to be silent.

He finds out, when he’s selected to read aloud a passage in one of their nursery books, that mother goose is not pronounced “mother g-g-g-g-goose” as the kids in his class so generously exaggerate. He also comes to find that he’s defected and abnormal, new words in his vocabulary that define his being, all because his tongue doesn’t roll a certain way.

His first year is spent trying hard to overcome his inadequacy. He spends hours repeating after his tutor, practicing in the shower, and talking to his noona.  Each day, he fights against his own body. The kids at school don’t see his tears of frustration when he attempts to repeat his name Kim Jongin a hundred times without stuttering, only to mess up at count eighty and start over.

Each victory is followed by a devastating blow when Jongin shows up to school the next day, ready to practice his techniques, only to revert back to the impediment when the teasing begins.

At the age of five, Jongin has his third epiphany, and it’s one that leaves a scar deeper than any taunt or nasty remark he’s ever received.

He will never be a good king.

After all, who wants to listen to a king who can’t even say his own name properly?

***

Numb.

It’s the first feeling that floods his body after he closes the door to the bedroom. There’s a low ringing in his ears that blocks out all other noise. His mind is in a chaotic stillness, where every fleeting thought disappears the moment it begins.

All the panic from earlier seems to have evaporated.

“Jongin?”

He turns to look at where his sister is guiding the physician towards him.

“Yixing’s going to check him out, okay? Everything will be fine,” the princess says as they near.

“Give me a few moments,” Dr. Zhang says, bowing respectfully before hurrying inside and closing the door behind him.

The siblings remain outside, sounds of laughter and music from the still ongoing party mixing with the tangible silence between the two. Jang-ah sends her brother a concerned look, the prince staring off into the hallway, seemingly deep in thought.

She squeezes his shoulder in comfort, hoping with all her might that Kyungsoo and the baby will be okay.

The door unclicks moments later, and Jongin visibly flinches, turning to face the doctor as the male shuffles out quietly.

“He’s feverish, most likely fainted from dehydration and exhaustion. Flu season is in full rage so I took some samples for testing,” Dr. Zhang explains, patting his briefcase assuredly. “I’ll prescribe him Tylenol and get him started on maintenance fluids. For now, he needs all the rest he can get.”

“Would that be safe?” Jongin asks quietly, speaking out loud for the first time since Kyungsoo collapsed.

“The medication? It’s certainly safe—”

“H-He’s pregnant,” says Jongin, immediately flushing scarlet in irritation at his nervous stutter.

“Oh?” The doctor raises his eyebrow in question, while Jang-ah gapes at him.

“You knew?” she asks incredulously, narrowing her eyes at Jongin.

“You knew too?” he shoots back, returning the glare.

“Well, um,” Dr. Zhang interrupts awkwardly, not wishing to get between the two but right now his priority is his supposedly pregnant patient. “Tylenol is perfectly fine to take during pregnancy. I’m going to go start the saline fluid bag through IV, so if you’ll excuse me…”

As the physician scurries back inside the room, the siblings continue to glare at each other until Jongin finally snaps.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he questions, a slow sense of dread starting to overtake the numbness in his body.

“Jongin…” the princess noticeably deflates, a dejected look crossing her features. “It wasn’t my news to share.”

“So he really is...” Jongin slides down to the floor, covering his face with both hands. “He r-r-really--”

He cuts himself off before he can stutter himself to death, growing internally frustrated while the dread drenches him like a cold wave. The panic comes back full force and as much as Jongin wants to deal with this like an adult, he can’t help but feel like a lost child. He doesn’t dare open his mouth to avoid further pain and embarrassment, even though he knows his noona wouldn’t ever judge him for it.

The princess kneels down beside him, wrapping an arm around her little brother and bringing him into her embrace. Jongin immediately leans his head against her shoulder, letting her calm him down with gentle words and back rubs, just like she used to when they were little.

“Hey, you know it’s okay, right?” she starts, “Jongin, you’re frustrated because this is a lot to take in. Kyungsoo’s pregnant and it’s scary, right?”

Jongin nods.

“It’s also wonderful news, baby brother. Children are so precious, and you always said you wanted a bunch of them,” she laughs, ruffling his hair as he groans.

“That was before—you wouldn’t understand, noona.”

“What wouldn’t I understand? You know I would do anything for you, and for Kyungsoo too. We all would. You have to always keep that in mind.”

Jongin sighs, lifting his head and giving it a small shake. “I know.”

“Good, now get your inside and nurse your sick, pregnant husband back to health.”

They both stand, Jang-ah giving Jongin another bear hug before heading back to the party.

“Thanks, noona,” he says before she leaves. “But, um, don’t say anything to mom and dad just yet. Please.”

She sends him a smile and a wink. “I won’t, but you better tell them soon.”

“Yeah.”

Once Jongin is left standing alone in the hallway, he takes once last look at the closed bedroom door, hand almost coming up to turn the knob but he backs away at the last second, turning, instead, to head to his office for the night.

***

Itchy. It’s the first thought that crosses his mind as Kyungsoo brings his hand up to scratch the inner fold of his elbow. Unknowingly ripping off the tape and removing the IV, he closes his eyes in attempt to head back to sleep until his bedsheet starts becoming cold and wet.

He awakens with a start, looking around and noticing the IV pump and tubing leading to his now saturated mattress, and he grabs it to make it stop. Bending the line and effectively stopping the liquid from spilling through the dislodged catheter, Kyungsoo makes a move to stand up, pressing random buttons on the pump to get it to turn off.

It certainly doesn’t help when a blaring alarm suddenly sounds from the machine, and it muddles his already sleep-dazed mind. In an attempt to stop the noise, he drops the tubing to give it a good shake, thoroughly confused as to what’s going on.

He tries to remember what events have led to this ridiculously loud IV pump trying to wake up the dead, when he hears the door open. He whips around with a troubled look.

“Please make it stop,” he pleads, letting out a small whine when he registers Jongin walking towards him eyes half-shut, hair flying in fifteen different directions, and looking just as confused as him.

Jongin walks closer, trying not to look at bedhead Kyungsoo wearing his oversized T-shirt that’s kind of showing too much shoulder—and moles? Wow, moles.

He coughs, refocusing back to the pump that has probably already woken up the entire country. He steps up to hit a button, not registering the crazy pool of fluid at the base of the IV pole and slips. He sees his entire life flash before his eyes as the first thing he tries to grab onto just happens to be Kyungsoo’s shirt.

Taking a rather harsh tumble to the wet floor, he ends up taking the smaller prince down with him. He lets out a pained “oof” when Kyungsoo lands on his chest, shocked, large, bright eyes staring back at his in very, very close proximity.

Neither prince registers what just occurred, both still in shock but very much awake now.

Kyungsoo doesn’t move from his spot on top of Jongin, instead, staring wide-eyed at the male below him. Light reflects off the swirls of dark and light brown in Jongin’s irises, and Kyungsoo can’t help but think how beautiful and warm they look.

He hopes the baby will inherit those deep, soothing eyes instead of his own bug-eyed—

“Are you okay?” Jongin asks, something akin to worry settling on his features as his arms come around Kyungsoo’s waist, holding him gently, almost too carefully.

Kyungsoo really hopes the tip of his ears are not matching the shade of red blooming across his cheeks as he suddenly scrambles up, trying not to grimace at the cold, wet feeling of his pajamas sticking to his skin.

“Prince Jongin—” he starts breathlessly, fixing his disheveled clothes before lightly caressing his stomach. “I’m so sorry. Um, are you okay?”

Jongin eyes the hand movement briefly before standing up and shutting off the stupid pump alarm. He turns warily towards his husband, frowning slightly.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo repeats again, feeling his stomach flip uncomfortably at the thought of having ruined Jongin’s morning and already setting the prince in a bad mood.

Jongin’s posture is rigid, as if he’s holding himself back from something. Instead, he nods his head before sending what Kyungsoo perceives to be a hard look. “You’re not hurt, right?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head in response, looking for something interesting in the wet floor rather than Jongin’s expression.

“We’ll get Yixing to do a quick check up on you and the—” Jongin cuts himself off, a bit hesitant before continuing. “Clean yourself. Can’t have you getting sick again.”

“It’s okay, I feel fine,” Kyungsoo says, waving his hands around. “You’re all wet though, it’s my fault.”

“Worry about yourself right now,” Jongin deadpans, but internally cringes at how harsh his words sound when Kyungsoo visibly winces. He mentally berates himself.

“Sorry again,” mumbles Kyungsoo as he slowly walks off to the bathroom, and Jongin stares into the abyss, dumbfounded by his poor interpersonal communication skills and ability to come off as a jerk towards Kyungsoo repeatedly. His mind is definitely not making the right connection to his mouth.

Kyungsoo returns shortly with a large, fluffy towel and bends down to wipe at the floor before any more accidents can take place. Jongin silently watches him mopping the floor when the smaller prince grimaces, putting a hand on his back for support as he continues wiping.

A rather odd, deep sort of instinct harshly kicks him in the shin and he’s immediately bending down, pressing a hand to Kyungsoo’s back as he grabs the towel from him. “L-Let me,” he mutters, biting his lip and turning to make sure Kyungsoo didn’t hear his stupid, stupid stutter.

Instead, the male is sending him the tiniest of smiles as they both stand.

“Thank you, Prince Jongin.”

There are a lot of things Jongin wants to say right now, but chooses to go with a blunt “Yeah”.

The smile falters before Kyungsoo turns and heads off to the bathroom again, and Jongin berates himself once more.

***

“Prince Jongin. He calls me Prince Jongin.”

Said prince is currently sprawled across his sister’s bed, stomach down and face buried in a pillow as Rahee sits perched on his back, tugging at the tufts of his hair.

Princess Jang-ah is rummaging through the closet looking for something decent for herself and Rahee to wear, as her husband is coming back from abroad after two months of working on a high-profile court case.

Jongin’s brother-in-law, Jaehyun, is one of Korea’s top lawyers, and of course he and his team of lawyers ended up winning the case.

Jongin lets out a dispirited groan as Rahee tugs hard with her small hand wrapped around his locks.

“Come get your munchkin before I go bald,” he says to his sister, voice muffled by the pillow.

“Yes, Prince Jongin,” she says, giggling behind her hand as she brings an outfit towards the bed and lifts her daughter off of him.

“Noona.”

“What?” You want him to call you honey? Sweetie? Baby?” Jang-ah says, struggling to get Rahee to stay still long enough to remove her little blue overalls. “Let’s see, sugar pie, pumpkin pie, apple pie, apple of his eye, cupcake, jagi~.”

“Kill me.”

 “Shut up. You know what Rahee’s dad calls me?”

“I’d rather not know.”

“He calls me his starlight,” she continues despite Jongin now sitting and acting like he’s going to throw up. She pauses buttoning up Rahee’s shirt to throw a pillow at the prince, who dodges it like a pro. “Anyways, I could really go for some pie right now.”

As soon as Jang-ah is finished dressing her daughter, the toddler squirms away, going straight to Jongin and plopping down on his lap.

“You’re seriously no help,” Jongin complains, trying his best not to pout as he plays with Rahee’s fingers. “Stop talking about food. It’s making me hungry.”

Jang-ah is checking herself out in the mirror, making sure she looks her best as she catches Jongin going in for a yawn behind her.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

Jongin chokes mid-yawn, spit being back and going down his airway. He starts coughing to expel the saliva as Jang-ah is bent over, cackling like an evil witch.

“Y-You’re the worst!” Jongin exclaims after he’s finished coughing up a lung.

“Love you too, brother!”

This time, Jongin tosses the pillow at her, only to get smacked by Rahee on the shoulder.

“No,” the tiny princess scolds, and it only makes Jang-ah laugh louder as Jongin pouts at his niece.

“Not fair,” he grumbles.

“You can gang up on us once your baby is born,” his sister teases, throwing the pillow back at Jongin.

This time, he lets it hit his face.

***

All that talk about pies and cupcakes has Jongin’s stomach grumbling as he makes his way to the dining hall for dinner. He wonders if he should’ve woken Kyungsoo up from his nap to eat or continue to let him rest.

Luckily, he doesn’t debate the matter too long because Kyungsoo is seated at the table beside his mother when he walks in, picking at his food silently.

He takes his seat across from his husband, sending the smaller prince a glance before turning to greet his parents.

“Where did you two disappear off to last night?” his mother starts, looking between the couple curiously, a hint of a smile on her face.

Jongin and Kyungsoo share a look, before diverting their eyes again.

“Too cute,” she whispers before turning back to her plate.

Jongin wonders if Kyungsoo can feel the awkward tension between them, and if it’s also threatening to suffocate him. Luckily, it doesn’t last very long before his sister and brother-in-law arrive with Rahee in tow, everyone turning their attention to them.

Greetings go around, Jongin bowing to the older male before sharing a brotherly hug. Kyungsoo stands awkwardly behind, settling for a bow since the only other time he’s met the man was at their wedding.

Jaehyun sends him a warm smile before they all take their seats again, Jongin somehow ending up beside Kyungsoo.

They talk about Jaehyun’s experiences in Japan, and he tells them in great detail about how he immersed himself in the culture, some struggles with the language barrier, but overall a very unique two months. Everyone is engaged in the conversation, but Jongin notices the silence from the male on his right.

Kyungsoo is pushing his food around again, only taking the smallest bites onto his spoon and swallowing them down. There are some words at the tip of Jongin’s tongue waiting to be spilled, and he really wants to say them, but judging from his track record of saying jerk-y things, he decides speaking is not the best course of action right now.

Instead, he cuts a piece of his chicken and transfers it over to Kyungsoo’s plate, wondering if he doesn’t like his choice of steak tonight and wants the chicken instead. He also grabs the vegetable dish and scoops a large portion onto the side of the meat, setting it down and returning to his own plate.

He can feel eyes boring into the right side of his face, but Jongin wills himself to keep his gaze focused straight ahead, pretending like he’s too busy with his own meal. Through his periphery, he sees Kyungsoo take a large spoonful of the vegetables, going back for more, and Jongin releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

For some reason, knowing Kyungsoo’s eating and finishing up his plate makes him feel full too.

Once the younger prince wipes his plate clean, he leans into his side and whispers a grateful, “Thank you, Prince Jon—”

Jongin clenches his jaw as he grabs Kyungsoo’s hand under the table. Ignoring the stupid way his stomach flips, he whispers back, “Just Jongin.”

Kyungsoo sends him a puzzled look, despite the crazy scarlet that has painted his ears, and Jongin is sure his own ears are flaming hot too. He lets go of the hand and shakes his head, speaking a little louder. “C-Call me just Jongin.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says, a smile blooming on his face that Jongin realizes resembles a heart. “Thank you, just Jongin.”

Jongin looks away then, molding his expression back to his default setting.

Otherwise he’s pretty sure Kyungsoo would hear the resounding crack that has appeared on the tethered walls of his heart.


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
a/n- i know this is such a long time coming, and im sorry for making you guys wait for so long T^T please enjoy another cliche'd up chapter of kaisoo goodness. i labored over this chapter for 6 hours, abandoned my dog, forgot to walk him, and then forgot to feed him (sorry Jack!) and the poor guy desperately held in his pee so that i could finally finish this. This chapter is dedicated to my puppy, who took one for the team /moment of silence
anyways, enough rambling! here i go off disppearing for another 13 years (jk :3) thank you so much for reading!!

feel free to hit me up here, im trying to be more active~ Twitter