The alarm ringing... You wish the alarm won’t stop ringing, because today is something different. The time, date, weather is just whole loads different.

 

Times were different this time,
The promises were meant to be made but it was broken,
Come back to me...

 

 

 

 

Taeyeon wakes up – looking out of the window and turn to her side of the bed, quietly closed her eyes. She wished she could turn back time, but time is never enough. Will you come back to me? Will you remember the me you loved?

 

Taeyeon was greeted with Sunny sitting in the living room with the cereal in her hand and hyoyeon scrolling through her phone. And a knock on the door, Taeyeon walk to the door and open it.

 

“Taeng…”, Tiffany hugged her the moment she sees her best friend in front of her.

Taeyeon walk behind Tiffany to her room as she plays with her own fingers. A sign of nervous and worried.

“Taeyeon stop playing with your fingers, it will become a habit”, Tiffany sighed. She put her both hand into her pant pocket, after few minutes she started playing. Tiffany hold her hand, Taeyeon stop everything and just listen to her talking.

 

“Taeyeon, I got a few things to discuss with you”

 

“The hot article right now running through the media? The one you wanted to leave... You never tell me about this before?”, Taeyeon exaggerated her sentence.

 

“Taeng is not what you think... you know media have their way of exaggerating things. I’ve been wanting to find the time to sit down and talk to you about this issue. The company is not giving me the time and I totally stress about this. I just want to try something new & Challenging and our company are not giving us the opportunity. We are no longer young anymore! You can call me selfish, but I’m sure everyone wants to do something they like. And I want to pursue acting, since young!”, Tiffany raise her voice a little.

 

“I have been doing it for 10 years, not only for the girls but with the happiness of everyone. Now it should be the time I have to think for myself, and I need everybody’s support especially you, Taeng. I need you as much as anyone else.”

Taeyeon keep quiet.

 

“Taeng, say something. I don’t like silence”, Tiffany sit down on the edge of the bed and face Taeyeon.

 

“…What can I say”

 

That’s all Taeyeon say and all she did was to let Tiffany walk out of the room with a bang on the door. That walk – out of the room meant so much to the both of them, it meant disappointment. Taeyeon is speechless, breakdown silently in the room. Her breath shortens, she just want to hide away.

If only I can stop the time; If only I knew what better words to say, If only...

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Sigh... Hyoyeon, do me a favour. The next few days and weeks is going to be tough on, she will keep herself in the room, she will only come out of the room if she’s hungry, she will only eat ramen and a piece of cheese, she will not say a word but that doesn’t mean she is okay with everything, she won’t step out of the house at all. Please be there for her when she need to, please lend her your shoulder to lean on and please make her smile even though both of your humour don’t match. Please, Hyoyeon… Keep in contact no matter what, soshi have been with me for the last 15 years ago even until today when I decided to pursue something better. Soshi is forever”

Tiffany walks out of the house and Hyoyeon teared.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sometimes words get in the way of what we really want to say, sometimes actions get in the way of what we really want to do. But everything was in a mess now, I let a person I knew for 15 years get away and not even a proper goodbye.

She walks to the kitchen, open up the fridge, with her small arms and hand she carries a few beers at one go. Taeyeon store them in her room and open them up one by one. She drank her sorrow and regrets away, she knows no one can help her and all she can do is to blame herself.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

One year had passed

 

A year have passed, nothing have changed and she see familiar face on Instagram every week. Not because she stalks her, but more of everything, she misses her since then, every day.

 

“Can I come in Taeng?”, a knock on the door and Sunny push her way in even before Taeyeon’s reply.

Taeyeon being petite, sitting at the corner of her bed with her eyes closed. Silence filled the air, but Taeyeon’s silence is that one big fat answer to everything.

 

“Taeng, are you okay?”

 

“What should I do, I have lost my happiness and it mean so much to me. She is a friend I need no matter what. A world without Tiffany would not be great. It would be the same as happiness disappearing”

Sunny sighed.

 

“Taeng, you know Tiffany is not leaving us. She’s just merely to pursue something she love and the other girls; Soo and our maknae Seohyun are doing the same as Tiffany is doing. Just that Tiffany is so much further from us and you may feel the missing presence of her in your house, but rest assured she never leave you”

Taeyeon drop her head onto Sunny’s shoulder and breakdown.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 “Tiffany, there is a letter for you. Urm, it flew from South Korea”, Tiffany ran out of her room and collect the letter and sit in her room.

 

‘Hi, it’s been a year without you here. How have you been there at your side? I miss you… Everything have change without your presence here. By the time you read this letter, most likely hear my new release song. Those words were secretly for you and composed by myself. Things were different here, I stay alone with Zero and once in a while go back to my family to stay. At times, I get lonely and I know you will scold me for saying this, but I thought of death. As I get older, I thought of many things in my life and now that everyone going to pursue their dreams and we are no longer young anymore. End of the day, the routine is the same and without you here make things even worst. I don’t want you to feel burden after reading this letter. But, I think... Not only did I miss you badly but I find myself falling for you as my best friend. I get jealous when guys start caring more about you and get close to you, when the gun shooting news hit the television I get so worried, when you tell me how many photoshoots you have to attend when you’re studying there, when your pillow is the only thing I wake up to now and not your face, when your smell put me at ease.

The longing from you make it even difficult to swallow.

I miss you…’      

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

“Taeyeon, can you go check who is that at the door?”, Sunny shout from the kitchen.

Taeyeon walk over and open the door, to her surprise she sees the familiar eye-smile and wavy hair.

 

“Hi Taeng!”, Tiffany drop her bag and gave her a hug – the longest hug she had ever given Taeyeon in 2 years.

She closes the gap and give a kiss on Taeyeon’s cheeks. The rest of the members smile at themselves – some were shocked to see that, but Taeyeon was even more shocked to have that kiss not on the cheeks but on the lips.

 

“I’m sorry for being late, I have read the letters. You’re still my favourite one, I have never forgot about you or us. I’m staying here for a while.”, Tiffany whispered in her ear.

 

I love you the most