With his parka zipped, a scarf around his neck, and a mask to protect his nose and throat from the cold winter, Donghae decided to go for a night stroll. He walked along the streets from his place, not knowing where to go to. The next thing he knows, his feet were taking him to place where he once had happy memories. It was a park that was a beautiful garden during spring and summer, but now not a single leaf could be seen from the branches. 

He walked along the path, gradually leading him farther away from the streets of Seoul. He liked it here not just because it was hidden. It was quiet and felt like he was in the province. He sat on the bench opposite the pond and took a deep breath. He was alone in the park, with the lamp post just a few meters away illuminating him, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. He threw his head back and looked at the night sky, smiling a bit with the sight of the stars.

“Evenings during winter is the only thing that’s not gloomy,” he told himself. There was no sun in the morning and the afternoon, the skies were grey, the days were shorter, but there were more stars in the sky. He watched them twinkle a bit more and tried to form shapes, before deciding to fix his posture and doing neck exercises. “They’re pretty, but I don’t want to break my bones.” He then took his other hand from his coat pocket, with his phone in his hand. It was still a bit early, but since it was winter, people preferred to stay in their homes at night. He was too focused on his phone screen while checking his messages and replying to each one of them that he didn’t even not bother to look at the owner of the slow, light footsteps that he heard approaching.

- 0 -

Jessica decided to head out at night because she suddenly craved for one of her favorite street foods. She got herself bundled up nice and warm and checked if her phone and her wallet was in her coat pockets. After confirming that they were in place, she went to leave to get herself hotteok to satisfy her cravings. She walked to the food stalls instead of taking the car or riding the public transportation The walk wasn’t too long and she enjoyed walking at night. The wind would hit her face from time to time, but it didn’t make her sleepy. She was hungry and she was going to get her hotteok and she knew it. 

Shortly after, she arrived to her destination and smiled at the middle-aged man at the stall and said that she’ll be having six hotteoks. “I walked going here and I’ll be walking back home, so I’ll be able to lose it,” she thought to herself.  She paid for her food and she got the change, then placed it in her pocket. “Thank you,” she said to the man with a hint of excitement after receiving the paper bag with her favorite treat. She turned around to walk away, but she suddenly halted her steps, took a piece out of the bag and started eating. She walked slowly than before, enjoying the winter at night while enjoying her food. As she was on her way home, she suddenly looked up and saw the starts twinkling in the sky. She checked the time and saw that it wasn’t late yet and decided to walk to a park to enjoy the night. 

When she arrived, she put the rest of the first piece in to eat it and her steps got slower as she walked along the familiar path. It gradually got more and more quiet as she followed the path to the lake. She knew this place too well. As her steps got slower, memories came rushing in her mind. This place was one of the reasons why she enjoyed walking around the city at night. This place felt like she was away from the city and it was beautiful during spring and summer. However, because of the cold weather, the branches were empty. There was no one else in the park and she was walking alone. When she saw the pond, she was looking at it while she walked, knowing that there were benches just in front of it nearby. Spotting the benches, she saw someone seated on one of them and sat on the bench that was one bench away from his. “Guess I’m not alone,” she thought to herself.

- 0 -

Donghae removed his mask and kept it in his pocket together with his phone, still not noticing that he has company, just sitting on the other bench. He once again looked at the night sky and remembered that he heard footsteps earlier. They were slow and faint, until it disappeared. “Maybe the person was walking to exercise at night,” he thought. The stars were still twinkling, which made his hand fish his phone in his pocket and took a picture of it. “Beautiful,” he said. He moved his head to look at his phone and check the photo. From the corner of his eyes, he spotted someone sitting on the other bench. He still didn’t look at that person’s way and smiled before keeping his phone, satisfied with the photo he took.

He inhaled deeply and let out a loud exhale before adjusting himself in a more comfortable position. He looked at the lake and saw the moon’s reflection on the water. Around the pond were trees with empty branches and it made the place look gloomy. He remembered the times that he spent here before and they were mostly at night, when there weren’t a lot of people. No matter what season it was, he enjoyed it here. They enjoyed it here. The memories of them laughing and just sitting in silence were playing in his mind. He could hear her laugh and the memory of it just made him smile. He remembered when they went here at nighttime during winter, too, and he scolded her.

“Why don’t you have a scarf again? I keep reminding you to wear one everyday because I don’t want you to be sick.”

“This fish! It’s fine, I’m not feeling cold anyway because you bought me hotteok.” She smiled cutely at him to avoid more scolding from her boyfriend. “I’ll probably sweat later because this is too hot.” She pouted at him before eating another piece of hotteok.

They went to sit on the bench in front of the pond, their usual spot, and she rested her head on his shoulder. She took a pancake out of the bag and brought it in front Donghae’s mouth. “I don’t want this pabo bada to starve, plus he was the one who bought these for me.”

“If I eat this will you wear scarf tomorrow?”

She nodded her head that was still resting on his shoulder. “I promise.”

He took a bite from the hotteok in her hand kissed her hair. “I just don’t want you to be sick, okay?”

She lifted her head from his shoulder and sat straight. She could only nod at him while she chewed on her favorite treat.

Donghae removed his scarf and turned to face the girl beside him. He placed his scarf around her neck and fixed it for her. “There, now you’re all warm.” He smiled at her before kissing her forehead and eating the hotteok from the frozen girl’s hand.

He looked to his left and noticed the other person sitting there. Her hair covered her face while she was looking at her phone. He blinked before he started shaking his head. “No, I don’t think so,” he said mentally. He averted his gaze from the woman and put his gaze back on the pond. “Those were good times. The best times,” he whispered to himself before smiling sadly and exhaling.

- 0 -

Jessica heard the man on the other bench say ‘beautiful,’ but she didn’t look because it somehow made her nervous that her eyes even widened and she froze. “No, no. It can’t be. I don’t think so,” she said to herself mentally. She sat quietly on the bench with the paper bag in her lap while looking at the pond. It was a bit dim, but she appreciated the peacefulness of the night. With the moon’s reflection on the pond, she began to reminisce about the past. About the times that she used to go here.

Jessica and her boyfriend had just finished eating dinner when she begged him to buy her hotteok. “We still have space for dessert,” she reasoned to him.

He could only chuckle at her cuteness, which made him put his arm around her. “You really liked hotteok so much, huh?”

“It’s now my favorite, thanks to you!”

He would always bring her hotteok after school or after practice and she would eat it on the way home. She would even offer him some while he walked her home. It’s been that way for years, though they became successful and earned money of their own. Their dates would always consist of him buying her hotteok and walking her home at night.

“Can we please go to the park? It’s not yet late.” She went to check her phone and showed it to him. “See, it’s still early.”

He only agreed to her request and walk to the park together with Jessica and the bag of hotteok in her hand, while her other hand was intertwined with his. They made their way to a bench located on the opposite side of the pond. Before they could settle themselves on the bench, his boyfriend suddenly asked her.

“Why don’t you have a scarf again? I keep reminding you to wear one everyday because I don’t want you to be sick.”

“This fish! It’s fine, I’m not feeling cold anyway because you bought me hotteok.” She smiled at him to avoid being scolded even more. As they reached their usual spot, she brought a pice of hotteok to his face while she was resting her head on his shoulder.

“If I eat this will you wear scarf tomorrow?”

She nodded her head that was still resting on his shoulder. “I promise.” It warmed her heart to know that this guy’s been looking out for her. He even reminds her to wear a mask, too. While she sat upright to eat her favorite treat, she was surprised when he suddenly wrapped his scarf around her neck.

“There, now you’re all warm.” He smiled sweetly at her, while Jessica froze. He chuckled at her and kissed her hair before eating the hotteok in her hand. The girl finally moved, but she could feel that her cheeks were warm. She lowered her head to hide her blush, while she kept eating at a slower rate.

Jessica smiled sadly at the memory. “Those were the days,” she whispered to herself before sighing. She had just opened the bag on her lap when her phone started ringing. “Hello,” she said as she picked up.

- 0 -

Donghae looked at the woman who was sitting on the other bench when her phone rang. After being shocked with the sudden noise, he looked focused back on the view in front of him.

“Hello,” he heard the woman say.

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. That voice surely sounded familiar to him, but he started shaking his head. “No, it can’t be.” His lips curved up into a thin and bitter smile. There are many girls who had the same hair and the same voice, but it can’t be- or so he thought. The next thing knows, he, again looked at the woman, but this time in a swift motion. Shortly after, his legs seemed to have a mind of their own that it made him stand and started walking.

- 0 -

“My Krystal can’t sleep because I’m not yet home?” She asked the person on the other line cutely before continuing on. “What are you, five? You’re already halfway to 50! Just go to sleep, don’t worry ‘bout me. I won’t take long.” She bade her younger sister goodbye and kept her phone in her pocket. It wasn’t long after she saw a pair of shoes approaching her. Slowly, she looked up to see who that person was. Her eyes widened, while she felt her whole body going numb.

- 0 -

Donghae was wrong this time. It was her. It is her. He could no loner be wrong because he heard her utter a name that confirmed who the girl really was. She’s here, just like him, in their own secret and special place, as they’d call it. He felt his throat dry up and he was surprised to see that it was really her. After one look, he waited for her to hang up and didn’t think twice to approach her.

“Hi,” he greeted her. He could see how shocked the girl was. Under the night sky and the dim light, she was still beautiful. Her eyes looked glassier than ever, probably wanting to release tears.

“I- I have to go,” she said with a shaky voice. She could feel her tears coming and hid them by slightly curving up her lips to a thin smile. She was about to walk away from him, but she felt someone stop her.

He held on to her wrist to prevent her from leaving. “Stop.” He was nervous to ask her her to stay, thus the shakiness in his voice. “I don’t wanna lose you again.”

- 0 -

Jessica was surprised to see the man that she called her first and greatest love. Still, nothing could compare. She didn’t know what to say when she saw him standing in front of her. He looked like he didn’t even know what to do either. He greeted her a simple ‘hi’ and she already wanted to leave. She wanted to cry, but she wasn’t going to do it in front of him. She smiled slightly at him and stood up.

“I have to go,” she told him. She was just about to take the first few steps, but she felt him grab her wrist.

“Stop,” he told her nervously. “I can’t lose you again.”

She shut her eyes tight and bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying. Oh, how she wanted to go stay and just be with him again, just like all those times before, but she can’t. “Hae, I have to go.” Her voice was shaky, but she maintained her composure.

- 0 -

She kept insisting to go and that just stabs his heart again. He wanted to cry, but he made sure to keep his composure. “Sica, please. Just hear me out.”

She lowered her head and swallowed before looking back up. She hesitated for a tiny bit, but she soon gave in. “Go on,” she whispered.

“Why did you break up with me? Everything was perfect between us, then all of a sudden you told me that you want us to break up-“

“It was because of them.” Her eyes met his and she saw the sadness in them. She felt his grip loosen up, then she turned her heel to face him completely. “Hae, I never wanted to leave you, but I had to. People weren’t supportive of us. It’s hard when you’re in front of the public eye. Yes, we were able to pull through at first and there were already disapprovals at that time, but I just got tired of it all. Having people call you names and look at you in a certain way for years and years just became tiring until it got worse.” Her tears suddenly streamed down her face.

Donghae only looked down. He knew how the fans behaved. It hurt him to see her being lambasted by his fans and he wasn’t able to do anything. “I’m sorry,” he said in a low tone. “I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to do anything. I couldn’t protect you, I couldn’t tell them off because of the rules. I wanted to protect you from the world and I just couldn’t. You should’ve told me that it kept getting worse. I would give that world up just to be with you.” Donghae’s tears soon streamed down his face. He reached for her hands and she quickly took them out of his hold.

Wiping her tears away, she sniffed before she continued. “Hae, I can’t have you do that.” She placed her free hand on his cheek and smiled sadly at him. “That was your dream. You worked hard for that dream, remember? I don’t want you to give your dream up for me.” She brought her hand down and looked back down, before meeting his eyes once more. “It’s better this way- us not being together. It will be bad for you. I’m still hated by many, I even have more people judge me than support me.” She only chuckled. “We were bound to break anyway, Hae. There were rules and we just broke it. There’s a consequence to not following the rules.” She felt a huge lump in and she swallowed it before she continued. “That’s the consequence, us breaking up. Please, just let me go.”

He sensed that she was about to say goodbye again, so he held her hand. “Sica, I just want to ask you something.”

She blinked at him and waited for him to speak.

He sniffed and took a deep breath before speaking. “Just tell me that you don’t love me and I won’t bother you anymore.”

It’s been years since they broke up and he’s still in the music scene wit his group, while she’s left the company and went on to do the things that she wants to do all together and not focusing only on one thing. Donghae was preparing for the worst and already conditioned himself to accept the decision that she has made and what he’ll hear from her today.

“Donghae, please.”

“Just answer me please. You broke up with me, telling me that you no longer love me. I still don’t want to believe it up to this day.”

“Hae, you’re just making things harder for me.” She started crying again and she lowered her head to hide her tear-stained face.

He cupped her face in his hands and slowly brought her face up to look at him. “Why is it hard for you?” Tears were no longer streaming down his face, but his voice was still shaking and her eyes were glassy.

“It’s been years and it’s still difficult for me to move on.” Jessica cried uncontrollably. “You’re making it hard for me to forget you, to go away, and to tell myself to stop loving you.”

After hearing the truth from her, he brought his hands down and pulled her in a tight embrace. “Please don’t tell me to go away. I just want to stay in this position. I want to hug you. I missed you a lot. Four years passed and I still want to hold you and have you back in my life. I don’t want you to go away, Sica.” He kissed her hair and felt her sobbing uncontrollably, making her body heavier.

She sobbed like a child in his arms. Oh, how she missed this feeling. She always felt safe in his arms. She missed being with him, but she can’t because of what the people would say. Not everyone was supportive of their relationship, especially the majority of his fans, but there were also a lot of people that supported them. She just wanted the judging and the lambasting to stop. There were times when fans became violent when it came to her, so she decided to just leave him because it would be best for them and it would be best for him. She pushed him slightly to break the hug. “I’m sorry,” she said in an almost inaudible tone.

“No, don’t be.” He watched her lowered her head and his eyes landed on the paper bag in her hand. He smiled slightly as it reminded him of the good times. “Sica,” he called to her, but she wouldn’t look up. His hand made his way under her chin to raise her head. I want to give us another chance, please. Please say yes.”

“Donghae, n-“

“I know you’ll be saying no, but please just listen to me. If this is my place now, then I would want to leave. The world that I’m in could be great, that’s what people think because of the fame or they think that I have everything, but I don’t. I have a world without you in it is just boring, sad, and gloomy. It makes me lifeless. I don’t want to be in that world if I don’t have you in it. You made my world beautiful. Maybe people don’t want us to be together, but we don’t have to listen to them. It’s not up to them to select the right person for us to love. I’m willing to give that world up just to have you back.

Tears were lining her eyes when he heard him say those words to her. Her world just became grey after they broke up and she just kept on living. She tried to, but it felt a whole lot different. “When we broke up, I also felt like a huge chunk of my life was missing. I tried to go on living, and I was alive, but I felt lifeless. A world without you in it,” her voice trailed off. “A world without you in it was just a world with shades of grey. I just don’t want you to give up that dream for me.”

“I’m willing to take the risk. That’s what we did before, right? Remember what you told me before?”

She nodded at him. “I’m willing to take the risk because we’ll do it together.” She smiled sadly as she repeated it to him now. He was right. They already did it before, but it’s what made her leave. “‘It’s not up to them to select the right person for us to love.’ That’s what we did before and I thought it was impossible.” She smiled at him before lowering her head.

“But we made it possible.” He smiled and pulled her head up to make her look at him. “We already broke the rules, tried to rearrange what was written in the stars- but what if the stars wanted us to be together too?”

Jessica looked up and saw that the night sky was filled with stars. Was it fate that they met tonight? They even met in their special place. The park that has witnessed their young love grow into successful adults who finally reached their dreams. It took her years to return to this park and what are the odds of going back here for the first time and she saw him. “What if that’s what they really want?”

He smiled at her and she smiled widely at him before pulling her in for another embrace. He hasn’t been to this park since they broke up because it was just filled with memories of them and tonight was the first time that he visited the park. The first time that he visited the park since the breakup and he had a sweet surprise of seeing the love of his life. The only woman who made his heart skip a beat. He took her hand in his and she intertwined her fingers with his, holding onto his hand tight. Instead of leaving, they went to their usual spot, the bench that was empty earlier and kept their distances apart was now occupied by them, just like the old days.

Jessica placed her head on his should and opened the bag filled with hotteok. She took a piece out and brought it in front of his mouth. “Remember why this became my favorite?”

Donghae nodded. “I always brought it for you after practice while waiting because I didn’t want you to starve.” He smiled as the memory of his 13 year old self waited for the 11 year old Jessica with a bag of hotteok in his hand. He took a bite from the hotteok that was in front of him before it disappeared as she ate the rest of it.

She sat upright and felt the wind hit her face. She closed her eyes replayed the events earlier. Now here she is, with the man she loves in their own world. This world was the world the hoped fore since they broke up; A world with him in it. They were willing to risk everything as long as they have each other, they know that they’ll be able to surpass anything. Before she could open her eyes, she felt a pair of lips crash onto hers. She didn’t have to open them to know who it was. She was too familiar with those lips.

He kissed her sweetly on her soft lips when he saw her eyes closed. He missed the feeling of her soft lips on his. He missed these moments, but most especially, he missed her. He tried to make himself busy, but she still wouldn’t leave his mind. Now here he is, seated on the bench that became their usual spot since they were teenagers and he was back with the woman he loves in their own little and perfect world.

After the kiss, they stared into each other’s eyes and smiled.

“I love you,” they said at the same time. The pair laughed at their impeccable timing.

“I love you, too,” again, they said at the same time as a reply.

They sat on the bench and looked at the pond together, before looking at the night sky at the same time. Their hands were holding onto each other, and she found herself leaning on his shoulder again. They stayed in that position for the rest of their stay in the park and ate the hotteoks that she bought together. They missed being like this. In their own world, he was her king and she was his queen. It was quiet, it was simple, it was just them, and it was filled with love.

Author's note: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! May you have an amazing day with your loved ones and radiate love and happiness <3 this is my Valentine's gift for all you, Icefishies, out there :) I hope you guys liked this one :) spreading love to you all xx!

You guys have no idea how much I missed writing [for non-academic stuff] ...and now, back to my thesis *forces a laugh*