It has been days, weeks and even months since she made the love confession to the boy who did not relay her feelings. It has been months since she has been hurting, hanging on to the memory of being rejected. And it has been days since she talked to the said person.
But it has only been a few hours since she last saw the two of them together, hand in hand and eyes b with love for each other, yet hers were b with tears bearing yearning and ache.

As if seeing them together in those sickeningly loving pictures accompanied with equally affectionate captions for each other on their social media accounts wasn't enough, she had to see them everyday in school, walking around arm in arm and smiling to each other without a care in the world. Her parents' decision to move her to Jimin's school so that she would be happier and spend more time with him was wrong. Her parents cared for her happiness, yet this move was the opposite of what they had desired for her. It bothered her whenever she was hanging out at his house, she would pop in to 'surprise' him. And even outside the house, whenever she met up with Jimin, he would either bring her along or always bring up her in their conversation. Though he was usually very considerate of people around him, his blissful relationship had blinded him of the pain he was causing her by constantly reminding her how happy he was with her.
It hurt, like a stub to the toe, but right at the heart, piercing as ever. Even though she had convinced him that she had moved on already, she could still feel a tinge in her heart. The hurt had subsided over the past four months but for some reason it was really hard for her to move on. Thankfully, she had another bestfriend, Oh Jaein, who would often comfort her with ice cream, pizza and sleepovers. She loved Jaein dearly but did not want to bother about her feelings all the time. She had her own problems to deal with, she could not bother every time. She wanted to be independent. She didn't want to rely on anyone else and get over him on her own. But that was the hardest part. Especially when her memories of that perfectly imperfect boy replayed everyday in her mind. 

Son Ahreum was pretty, just like her name suggested. Definitely his ideal type; clear and white skin, short, cute yet pretty, jokes around alot etc etc. She was everything he looked for in a girl, no wonder he fell for her instead. Who would fall for her? A few pimples on her not so clear skin, barely passing as pretty in today's standards, and took things in life seriously. She sighs as she puts down her heavy and thick books on her study table. I need to focus on my life goals instead of rotting because of one boy, she thinks to herself. She was strong. She couldn't be let down because of how her love life was failing terribly, she had no time to depress herself because of that. I have better and more important things to focus on.

That time of the month has come again when he says he wants to meet up. Jimin always insisted on meeting up at least once a month to hang out, just for fun, to share things and catch up on each other's lives. It felt like only a few days ago since we last met because I was distracting herself by focusing on my studies so well. I was determined to complete my first semester of university with great scores. 'Alright, meet you there at 3?', you text back to him. 'At 2.30 it is then :P'.
You huff weakly as you close her book and stuff it in your backpack. You walk out of the library, bowing to the sweet librarian who always helped you whenever you were unable to find a certain book or in recommending reference books.

You stride towards the cafe where you two usually met. It was a sort of replacement for the park that you guys used to meet up at in the past, feeling a little old to be playing in a park where children three times smaller than them would be running around. You let the smell of coffee embrace you as push open the door and as if at a snap, you immediately feel yourself relax in the atmosphere. This cafe had always comforted you whenever you were here. Maybe you had become too familiar with it or maybe it was the smell of coffee which intoxicaed you.

Though you appreciated Jimin's efforts to stay in touch, these monthly meet-ups would often make it a rollercoaster-like day for you, as you struggled to put a cap on your overwhelming feelings in his presence.
 

You sit at the usual corner table and order an iced frappucino for yourself along with a caramel macchiato for him as you wait for the pair to walk through the door. Your already expecting Ahreum to be walk in hand in hand with Jimin without him telling you. It was not uncommon for that to happen. It had happened way too often so you were no longer bothered, or so you convinced yourself. You tap your fingers on the table rythmically to the soft, relaxing song playing from the speakers in a low volume.

You were silently sipping on your drink when the bell on the door rings, indicating that someone had walked in to the cafe. You look up to see a very troubled-looking man, a little confusedly because the petite girl had not followed him in His hand was running through his hair in fustration and his eyebrows were knitted at the center, concerned with his unexpected behavior you puts down your cup, giving all your attention on to him. I wonder what happened for him to look this disheveled. And why isn't she with him? Did they have a fight? You had a million questions running through your mind and a million scenarios playing out in your head but with the sight of him biting his lip with his messy hair pulls you out of your imagination. You shift a little in your seat as you feel your heart skip a beat. You wished and hoped for these feelings of yours to skip away too. You shake your head in desperation.

"Hey, Jim.. You don't look like you are in a good mood right now. What's wrong?" You ask him as he finally takes a seat in front of you. "I don't know, you. I don't think anything's working out right now." You grabs his hand, it gently in an attempt to calm down his heavy breathing, though regretting instantly as it was intensifying your breathing instead.

"Jimin. Stop running your hand through your hair for now. I swear you'll go bald. And it's getting annoying, and distracting." You murmur the last bit of the sentence, hoping to keep your thoughts to yourself. You look at your bestfriend who had his head between his small yet strong hands, glaring at one spot on the table. And if that much intimidation could make a hole, the table would be bearing a hole there minutes ago already.

"Jim.. what is it? You need to tell me so I can help you, alright?" You push his drink towards him and sip on your own, patiently waiting for him to speak up about whatever was bothering him so much. "I broke up with her." The short words make you choke on your drink as you start coughing into your hand.

"What the hell Jimin. That does not make sense. I saw you guys making out in the school corridors just last week!" You exclaim a little shamelessly. "Look. Hear me out before you start shouting and lecturing me here." You nod obediently as he sighs in exasperation. He runs his hand through his hair yet once again before speaking, "you, I know this sounds weird right now. But I don't think I really like her in that way. I guess it was my curiosity that got the best of me. She was only a crush. I only love her, as a friend. She's an amazing person and all but I don't think my heart belongs to her. So I thought of setting her free. I didn't want to hold her back when I am not even sure of my feelings for her anymore."  It takes a minute, or maybe two, for you to absorb all this new information you had received. You silently sip on your coffee as your brain processed slowly.

Should I be happy or should I be sad for Ahreum? And for Jimin who was probably feeling awful for what he had done. He was probably blaming himself so much right now. Though it is somewhat true. But I guess I really can't blame him either because feelings are indeed complex. It is hard to completely understand them.

"And you stayed with her for four months?" I scoff unintentionally, being unable to hide the annoyance in my tone. "Did you even give her an explanati