Taemin lies where he is, drinking in the blessed vision that is Kibum lost in sleep. This used to be a familiar sight and then it just wasn’t anymore; what was an everyday thing when they just debuted and all slept in the same room became an occasional thing when they went overseas and shared hotel rooms, and even that faded away into nothing when they moved out of the dorm and started earning enough to get individual hotel rooms.

He’s forgotten how young Kibum looks when he’s sleeping. There’s this mask that Kibum wears, almost all the time now, that makes him look far older and stronger than he is.

Kibum stirs and Taemin shuts his eyes, feigning sleep. There’s yawning and muffled grumbling and then a gentle hand running through his hair. “Taemin-ah?”

He cracks an eye open. It’s not difficult to pretend to be hungover when his head is actually pounding.

“Hey, babe,” Kibum says, voice low. “How are you feeling?”

“Headache,” Taemin mumbles.

“I’ll get you something for that,” Kibum replies. His hand is still in Taemin’s hair, still . Taemin suspects that if Comme des were in his place, Kibum might be doing the same thing. “Do you remember last night, in here?”

“You were drunk, it’s okay.” Taemin gives Kibum an excuse, a way to back out of what he knows is a hopeless quest.

But Kibum, sweet Kibum, refuses to back down. “No, I wasn’t that drunk. I meant it, you know. I like… I love you. I know you don’t believe me now, but will you at least give me a chance to prove it to you?”

How can Taemin say no?

“Okay,” he says quietly. After everything Kibum has done for him, he can do this much in return.

“Okay,” Kibum repeats. He’s smiling and Taemin’s treacherous heart feels so light and happy, as if they really are together and this isn’t a charade by two men too pathetic to accept a cruel truth.

~

“ you.” Jongin spits the words at him. “I’m not doing it. I don’t know what gave you the impression that you can ask me to do this, but you’re wrong.”

“I’ll do it.” Moonkyu says this with a quiet resignation.

“Don’t enable this.” Jongin is so angry that he smacks the chopsticks from Taemin’s hands as he’s reaching for a slice of swordfish sashimi. “Can you quit stuffing your face for one just one moment?”

The girls at the next table look uncomfortable. They probably think that Jongin – all of them, likely – are drunk and on the verge of a fist-fight. Neither assumption is true.

“You’re going to get us thrown out,” Taemin says coolly. He doesn’t know why he’s pushing Jongin’s buttons like this.

“Stop it,” Kwonho says then. “Stop aggravating him.”

“There’s nothing to get aggravated about,” Taemin replies. “The flowers are back. They’re going to keep coming back. I could go get the surgery tomorrow, and I’ll be sick again the day after that. Isn’t better for me to wait for a while between surgeries? And would you prefer me to suffer with the coughing and vomiting while I wait when there’s medication out there to keep it under control?”

“You’re buying yourself a few months at the most,” Jongin argues. “How many more surgeries do you think your body can take? This isn’t solving the problem.”

Taemin knows this. “Key-hyung thinks he can save me. I’m willing to let him try.”

Jongin shakes his head. “You’re lying. You just agreed to this because you don’t want him to feel bad.”

Moonkyu interrupts them. “Look, whatever Taemin’s reasons are, let’s just help him for now, okay? And Taeminnie, you have to promise us that you’ll keep an eye on this, that you’ll get it treated when it gets worse, okay?”

“I promise.”

It’s only when the words have slipped past his lips that Taemin realises that he’s lying. It scares him. He does want to get better. He does want to get over Kibum eventually.

Doesn’t he?

~

“Oh, you’re home.”

“You’re awake?”

Kibum shakes his head, despite clearly being awake. “Nah, I was just working on my Elle article for a bit. Did you have a good time with your friends?”

“Yeah.” What a liar he is these days. “Hotshot are having a comeback in a month or so, after Sungwoon’s success with Wanna One. Hopefully it works out for them.”

Kibum nods and yawns.

“I’m just going to take a quick shower.”

The shower takes no more than ten minutes – quick, just like Taemin promised – but it takes him a few minutes to dig the cough medication from his pockets, swallow the bitter liquid, open the window and chuck the packaging out. He brushes his teeth slowly. The lady at the pharmacy said that it wouldn’t take long for the simple cough syrup to kick in. He just needs to make it through tonight; by tomorrow, Moonkyu will get him the black market ‘cure’ for Hanahaki.

When he wanders back into the bedroom, Kibum has turned the lights down and is snuggled under the covers.

Taemin climbs in next to him. His heart is racing; their relationship, which has withstood the stress of training and debut and nine whole years of fame, suddenly seems as fragile as spring's first flower.

But then Kibum smiles at him, that smile which Taemin has only ever seen directed at himself. It’s a smile full of fondness and affection and his heart calms. This is his Key-hyung, it says, there is nothing to fear here.

“Goodnight, hyung,” Taemin says.

Kibum shifts closer, drapes an arm over Taemin’s waist. “Goodnight, Taemin-ah. I love you.”