Disclaimer, this chapter has mild implications of ual abuse.

HE CHOKED on his own spit, salty sweat, and other bodily fluids. Dread flooded his eyes as he caught his breath and continued to kneel in front of now pulled up sweatpants and arms reached out to pet his head.

“Good boy.” Taehyun cooed, tracing his thumb from Ren’s forehead to the inside of the smaller boy’s mouth. “Who knew that you’d still be so obedient even under these circumstances?”

“That’s just how our Ren has always been.” Seunghoon stated, lowering himself to Ren’s eye level and extending his hand to muss up his snow white hair. “It isn’t like he has much of a choice, isn’t that right?”

Ren said nothing, as usual. He had always been quiet, timid from abuse and the neglect from others when it came to his wellbeing. There were a handful of both Kids and Authorities that knew what Taehyun, Seunghoon, and even a few older Kids had done and were doing to Ren. Did they intend to stop it? Never. Taehyun and Seunghoon did not work the same labor as Ren. He had worked the mines and his hair had been shot with white earlier in his adolescence. The color cursed Ren with a more feminine look to his already womanly features. No, Taehyun and Seunghoon did not work the same labor, but they shared the same housing unit.

“Let’s go back down to join with the others.” Taehyun announced, “I’m sure there are some harmless Kids not participating in the Course.”

They had been in the mansard, mistakenly thinking that there could have been a way out but it had just been an empty, cold and dark attic which lacked the creepy ambience to prevent Taehyun and Seunghoon from fooling around. Ren continued to say nothing as he was lead out by the boys. One of them always had a physical point of contact on him, as if threatening to hurt him in any way if he ever tried to escape. It had always been the rule before.

Stop trying to get away.

The nights Ren did try to fight back always turned out to be the most miserable.

Taehyun grasped the top of Ren’s head with one hand and his shoulder with the other affectionately. They treaded an empty hall on the top floor, a level they hadn’t witnessed any of the other Kids ascending into. Seunghoon walked a few paces ahead with his hands buried in his tracksuit pockets. The floor beneath them began to give way, and then collapsed. Taehyun had jumped back and dragged Ren along. Seunghoon lost his footing and desperately latched onto the ledge .

“For s sake, don’t just stand there and help!” He shouted. Taehyun grabbed the boy by his shoulders and lifted him with difficulty. Ren stood by silently and subtly put something in his pocket. When Seunghoon was finally standing on his own two feet he bent down and grabbed his knees for support.

“That was ing close.” He sighed.

 Taehyun breathed heavily and touched his chest. “This is getting serious. That nearly gave me a heart attack.”

And as though they didn’t just lose their lives over one of the many traps placed throughout the school, Seunghoon yawned casually and continued to walk. Taehyun smiled at Ren, grabbed him and followed Seunghoon who had began to head down the stairs.  When they came to the landing in the stairwell, Seunghoon stopped. They were only another flight away from the corridor below them. The large window beside them drew in a limpid light that made them gawk at the scene.

“Ahhhh, look at that moon.” Seunghoon gasped. “It looks so close!”

“We should probably keep moving.” Taehyun suggested but Seunghoon pointed up the stairs.

“I have to take a piss.” He said.

“Oh. I think I saw a bathroom on the corridor we were just at. Be careful not to set off a trap. Then I’ll have Ren all to myself.”

“That’s a terrible joke. I’ll be back.” Seunghoon left and Taehyun sat on the top step, petting the empty space next to him while looking at the white haired boy. Ren sat down meekly.

“Ren, what do you plan on doing when you get out?”

He didn’t respond. Quite frankly Ren didn’t even think he was going to make it through the course alive with the way things were going. Groups were already forming and his just so happened to be with his abusers, who were also very nonchalant about the situation. Taehyun titled his head and looked at Ren closely.

“The Authorities named you Ren, right? That means that you don’t remember your folks or they’re dead.”

Ren looked down the stairs, it was a dark flight of steps that only revealed shadows and outlines of the floor. Taehyun continue to have a conversation with himself.

“I don’t remember my family, but apparently they exist.” He began to speak a bit quieter, “Taehyun is the name they gave me. I don’t know a thing about them, but if I do get to meet them, I thought about what I would say to them. I would ask…why did you have me, when you already have a child?”

It was a common question that most Kids battled with. A battle they tended to lose when faced with the reality that the reason ultimately didn’t matter because the past could not be changed and their fate was to live their adolescence in the mines. This shared wretched feat and the sad look on Taehyun’s face almost made him seem human to Ren…

“Ren, do you think I’m a bad person?” Ren continued to not participate in Taehyun’s attempt at bonding. When the taller boy seemed to realize this he swiftly punched Ren in the pit of his stomach and the smaller boy doubled over, still sitting.

“I hurt you, I torture you, and I even enjoy it.” Taehyun pulled Ren up by his hair to sit upright, “Sometimes when Seunghoon is being rough with you, I’ll start to feel a bit guilty. I’d ask myself, “is something wrong with me?” the answer was always yes. But then I remember that there’s something wrong with this country. Why am I like this to begin with?” Ren groaned and Taehyun smiled and pinched Ren’s cheeks. “Ah what do you know? You’re just a mute toy.”

Ren squeezed his pockets and felt the outline of the object still there. He dug his fingers through the opening and then Seunghoon jumped on the landing behind them.

“I have arrived in one piece.” He announced proudly.

“Thank goodness.” Taehyun stood and dragged Ren up to his feet, but he didn’t hold on to him. “Switch with me, I need to piss as well.”

Ren could never decide who he hated more. Taehyun left him to Seunghoon, who spent no time pushing Ren into the wall corner to fool around, as if they could get away with it in the shadows of the staircase.  But the moon, as big and as bright as it was, seeped into the window beside them as though it were staring.

Seunghoon’s body tensed up and he stopped nuzzling Ren’s neck when there was no reciprocation.

“What? Are you not into it?” He was never into it. Ren turned his head as Seunghoon leaned in to force more kisses but he continued to not respond to any of them. Seunghoon whined. “Ren, what are you doing, stop.” They were sad and lonesome individuals, Ren thought. They were pathetic and deprived of attention and the love they clearly desired. Ren had figured it out not too long ago, when he’d watch his assailants’ behaviors outside the abuse. They were dysfunctional children that cried easily. Their hearts had hardened for others, but were still soft regarding their own. They were scared of being alone and they were angry that they were alone.

“Look at me!” Seunghoon’s yell pulled Ren from his lingering thoughts for a moment. The taller boy roughly cupped Ren’s chin and directed his face at his to where he couldn’t look away. “Do you want me to use force?” He was on the brink of tears. Rage, fear and pain welled his glassy eyes all at once and Ren blinked slowly, thinking him even more pathetic. Seunghoon lowered his head. “Why does it always come down to this?”

He squeezed Ren’s face and pushed it away. They said to never fight back, but subconsciously Ren always did. Seunghoon was at the point where he’d be extremely unkind with his abuse. Ren imagined that as soon as Taehyun came back, he’d join in. Ren sighed, and took another gaze at the window. The moon really is pretty tonight, he thought.

Seunghoon brought his fist up, ready to connect with Ren’s face, but then his body stood still and he heaved softly. His arm slowly went back down and he stepped back with eyes locked on a nonchalant Ren. He looked at Ren’s hand first and was met with a confirmation of what had just happened to him. Ren was holding a switchblade, the shiny silver of the knife dripped in a dark liquid red. Seunghoon looked at his stomach next, and then held on to the stinging spot where blood flowed freely.

“Ren?” Was all he could say, taking more disgruntled steps backwards.

Ren looked at him and finally spoke. “Fall.”

His fingertips only lightly tapped Seunghoon when the taller boy lost his footing on the top step. He fell backwards and aggressively tumbled down to the lower level. Taehyun rely a few moments after, oblivious to the situation that had just transpired. He turned his head and searched the small landing curiously.

“Oh? Where’s Seunghoon?” Ren stared at him, and Taehyun gradually became more uncomfortable and started fidgeting. He averted his eyes to the floor, and that’s when he squinted to take a better look at the few droplets of blood that traced to the foot of the stairs. His eyes widened as he looked down and saw the outline of a body in the shadows.

“Seunghoon!”

Ren approached Taehyun closely from behind; he drew his arm around his torso and cradled the switchblade around his throat.

He whispered in his ear, “Hey, Taehyun, do you think I’m a bad person?”