WAS:

Forget a promenade
Let's juggernaut down memory lane
Leave no thought alive to the slaughterhouse
I'm takin' my pain
It's time to sever my brain from my heart and soul
My knees are burnin' hot but God is cold
I've been told "One day, you'll know too much of heaven's a sin
After the show, it's only hell that it brings
So take it slow and let time heal everything"
They say that time flies but you keep breakin' its wings
You'll never fade
Fade to black

“If I wasn’t young and stupid probably, we’re happily married with a daughter that looks like her.”he looked down with tears b in the corners of his eyes. He had to look away from the camera to prevent it from falling. He bit his lips and chuckled to hide the sadness, but the slashing pain he felt when his heart beat, cannot be stopped.

A desperate move to get a reaction from her. Stupid and pathetic but he is desperate.

Set a year after his military training, a year after his release from that god-forsaken training, it is the long-awaited TV comeback of the KING of Kpop.

“Our daughter could be three years old this year, and she will have a palm tree hair, because her mom would definitely play with her like a doll.”

Whispers from the audience were heard. Mentioning palm-tree hair is almost like saying who she is.

“OH…Is she…?” the MC raised his eyebrows mouthed her name. Her name made his heart flutter that caused him a stabbing pain in his chest.

He did not name drop but it was a dead giveaway.

It is a known fact GDragon have “dated” a lot of women during his glorious days of 20’s. Every year a different woman in the news but, there was only one.

Sandara Park is the only woman he really loved, but like he said he was young and stupid.

After a year from his military discharge, or a very torturing year of trying to talk to her, he realized it was too late. Dara is now armed with indifference.

He wants her to hate him at least, but indifference is what she only has for him.

He can still remember Youngbae’s Wedding where she avoided him, totally ignored him. He is looking at her the whole time, but she did not even glance his way. That one time he looked away, she disappeared.

Days before his enlistment, he was waiting outside her house, he camped outside her building but she never came out. He went to the places she frequents to, but he never saw her again. He wrote to her everyday, when he gets the chance to, but she never replied. He almost gave up on his life while inside the camp but the chance of seeing her again encouraged him to keep going, to stay. 

She’s the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on. Her beauty and her love fueled the emotions inside of him which allowed him to create beautiful songs.

She was her muse.

His one great love.

She was his.

WAS.

You left me paralyzed
No cure, no rehab for me
Funny that you got the nerve to keep askin' me
How I've been
You're the victor in this pageantry
But the only trophy you deserve: catastrophe
I'd rather we be dead to each other
No eulogies said for each other
No rest in peace's
The memories, got my chest in pieces
I'm prayin' that your eyes are the first to go
The way they looked when you smiled, the way they opened and closed
Then your nose, every single breath against my neck
And then your lips, every empty promise made and said

“Did he really say that?!” she smiled when the interview of her ex-lover was mentioned by the interviewer of an international magazine. The interviewer was asking her about the buzz Gdragon created when he mentioned about a daughter with a palm-tree hair, technically creating a scandal, confirming their relationship but at the same time announcing that they already broke up without really dropping her name. “Smart bastard.”

She laughed lightly, unable to quickly respond to that question. “I don’t really know what to say but I guess he was really young and stupid. Find strength Gdragon-ssi.” she smiled half-heartedly. responded quicker than her brain.

If Dara was being honest, she has seen his interview and it only made her quirk an eyebrow. Kwon Jiyong getting emotional on broadcast did not faze her. She knows deep within, it was his heart talking but not for her to romanticize it. Somebody give him a ing cookie.

Never mess with a woman who survived a broken heart because like gold, they become indestructible. She wanted to personally thank Kwon Jiyong for hurting her, because she never knew she can always be a better version of herself.

After calling it quits, she did her best in disassociating herself that has anything to do with him. She said goodbye to YGE, to start anew. Her acting was well-loved by the public when she played Jang Bora, that earned her a lot of offers but she decided to end the contract with YG Family.

Labels were making lovecalls left and right, but she chose a small-time independent company, then after three years, she made it grow. There’s no denying that indeed she was gold.

Interrupting her trail of thoughts, she was asked, “Are you willing to be friends again with Gdragon-ssi?”

She answered, “No. If you become friends with an ex, it’s either you still love him, or you never loved him at all.” It’s better this way, because clearly, she does not love him anymore, but she loved him too much. She cannot gamble again, it’s risky. His name still gives her butterflies though she has no idea if it’s because she still has a shard of love or it’s her bitterness.

He gave her all to that man. He was her everything, he was her universe.

Even her soul was stripped off her, because she allowed him to.

Jokes on her though, he does not deserve to know her like that.

She was in love with him.

He was her man.

He was hers.

WAS.