When you love someone.

I ran with all my might, glancing at my watch occasionally, there was still another five minutes. That means I have to run faster, through the park, turn on the left, and through some shops, where just a few meters away I can get in front of the station gate.

I hurriedly tacked the train card and ran to platform three. I gasps when I look into the big clocks on the station, thank goodness, I’m not late and miss the train. Actually, I’m not too late, it is still at 5.45 in the morning, mean that I am too early to go to school by train.

Soon I can hear the notice that the train will enter the third platform, the train I’m waiting for. Somehow I always hoped that the train I was waiting for at the same hour was always the same, always the same train that bring someone I wanted to meet on my every morning.

When the train came I couldn’t breathe, I shifted my uniform and my hair, and wiped the sweat that still on my forehead. My heart was pounding so fast and I squeezed my nervous hand.

I start to counting the train cars, 1...2...3... and 4, in the fourth I had to go up. I hope...

.

My eyes immediately swept the whole car that has not been too crowded, looking for a peson that I always want to find every morning. Without take so much time, I could find the figure sitting on the left row. He who has a short hair and black hair, his tall and sturdy body, sitting on his chin on his hand looking out the window. The incoming sunlight illuminated the car, refracting the light onto his handsome face.

I took a seat in near the entrance, three meters away and opposite to him. My heart was beating so hard again.

This is the only reason I want to use train so early, because I want to see him. The other reason is I don’t like crowded train--well, because I’m not be able to see him.

.

.

I used to hide and watch you from a distance

And I knew you realized

I was looking for a time to get closer

At least to say “Hello”

And I can’t stand to wait ‘till night is coming to my life

.

.

I looked at his face, wishing he knew I really wanted to greet him, just saying ‘Annyeong’ or ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’. We are at the same school, he is my senior, two years above me. However, not all seniors and junior can get to know each other right?. Especially with my attitude that tends to introvert, shy, and not easy to close with others. On top of all, with my face that does look more feminine than most of the boys or even girls, I often get bullied because of my face, although I myself can not choose to be born like this.

I saw the way he spoke, the way he laughed by closing his mouth with his hand, as he widened his big eyes (this is the thing I like the most). I wonder how his voice would sound like if he talked to me, how is his laughter was like, and what kind eyes when he looking at me.

Until I did not realize he turned his head toward me, suddenly I was suprised to be get caught looking at him. This happens a lot! I juts hope he doesn’t think I’m a freak. Wait, who would not think like that? Did he realize I was watching him so often? Oh, No. My heart beating so fast again, not because he was staring at me, but because out of my fear he would think I was weird and he hate me.

But it didn’t stop my ego to look again toward him, I take a glance to see if he is still looking at me.

And...God!

He with his big eyes still looking at me. I instantly bowed my head slightly, swallowed hard because my throat felt dry, my face is really feels hot.

But I look up and tried not to focus on his eyes, I lowered my head slightly as a sign of greeting to him.

At that moment, when I returned my gaze to his face. I regret it.

Because at that moment he looked at me with his big eyes, then a smile broadened on his face, showing off a row of white teeth and neat, and beautiful jaw line when he smiled. He smiled at me, smiled so broadly, and so handsome.

Then I looked away, quietly feels that my tears want to flow, I’m so happy. Finally, at least finally I managed to greet him.

.

.

I wanna touch and hold you forever but you’re still in my dream

And I can’t stand to wait ’till night is coming to my life

But I still have a time to break a silence

.

.

Choi Minho.

That is his name.

He is like a magnet for me, for my world, for my little world.

Everytime I walk, there’s just him around me.

As I walked through the school aisle to my classroom, I saw him standing outside talking and laughing with his friends, so I would stop as soon as I saw him.

When I was in class and was bored with the lesson, I looked out the window. There I can find him in the field was dribbling a ball, when he scored a goal, his sweaty body and his smile, my heart beat even faster, he is so cool, so handsome, and ... y.

When I walked to the canteen at lunchtime, I saw him eating very greedily. He finished all the food so fast, my smile flared up, laughing at him because he was like not going to eat for long time.

When I fall asleep, I can dream about him, he comes to me, smiles at me, caresses my hair, and holds my hand gently. I like to dream like this, I’m so looking forward to nightfall, I hope in my dream I can find him.

Not just in the train in the morning, not in the hallway, not through the windows, not during lunch. Not when all it was a silent witness to my liking to him.

.

.

When you love someone just be brave to say

That you want him to be with you

When you hold your love don’t ever let him go

Or you will loose your chance to make your dream come true

.

.

I don’t know since when I started to like you, no, maybe I started to love you.

It’s not because I first saw your figure on the train in the morning. Maybe if not when we accidentally crossed into the library door. Probably not because when heard your laughter for the first time in the canteen.

I know this is not easy for me, my mouth feels stiff and tightly closed, I want to tell you that I like you. But my ego, all the courage has been lost because of my selfishness. I’m afraid to accept rejection, the fact that you are not the same as me, you don’t like a man and you are a normal person. Afraid you don’t like me even just as a friend. Afraid you will stay away from me because I’m not normal. Then you’ll get away from my sight before we can get to know each other better.

I will not say it to you, not after I know you’ve get someone special next to you. She is so beautiful, sweet, and also funny. Although my heart is so hurt when she hugs your arm and called you, “Oppa...”, with his sweety voice.

Just looking at you from a distance is enough to make my heart beat so fast. I feel so happy. It sounds absurd and sounds stupid. But it is true that the fact that makes my unpleasant day in school can enjoyed by me, in the hope that I can see your smile, then all will be fine.

All the bullied I can hold as long as I can see your figure in the morning. It’s more like a vitamin that strengthens me.

My love is only I can save for myself without I can show it to you. I beg to you, even though I can’t have you, can’t be beside you, can’t be special person for you, please let me still see you from a distance, hoping someday you will know it.

I hope you can always be happy with her. Therefore, if you can, then please pray for me, so that I can find someone who can love me with all of his heart. Of course is not you...

Thank you for read my fanfics, please comment on section below to know how'd you think about my fanfic and have a good day!

Love,

Vittwomin