Doh Kyungsoo hated complications. Those that are personal or romantic in nature? Absolutely detested them! Navigating the world was complicated enough without him doing anything to put a wrinkle on that part of his life. So to whoever, whatever it, he, or she was that made people evolve to have this magical ability to have their chest glow of a unique matching color combination once they meet eyes with their soulmate (and henceforth when they’re in each other’s presence), Kyungsoo was very thankful. See, it simplifies things infinitely. It’s like this: You see your soulmate, then you glow, then “Oh wow, I’ve been waiting my whole life for this”, then “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LET’S BE TOGETHER FOREVER!!!”, and then you live happily ever after. No more detours, no more failed experiments, no more false hopes! At least as far as Kyungsoo was concerned. He could only shake his head at those who still insist on fighting their very own nature and kept on forging romantic relationships here and there, all with those whom they’re not fated to.

“It’ll just end in tears,” he often muttered under his breath. And as far as he knew, it’s true most of the time. He just needed to attend the family dinner to find proof. It would all just end in a breakup or worse, marriage. Then they would say, glowing too late, “Oh wow, I’ve been waiting my whole life for this, but I have a family now so we can’t be together. I’ll love you forever, though, and I’ll make sure I’ll show my family my love for you. Oh! If only I don’t have them now, I’ll be able to love you freely. But I’m such a good and responsible person that I can’t leave them.” that. Too complicated.

But thankfully, he never had the rebellious streak his parents had. He was not going to end up like them. He would wait patiently for his soulmate and then once he or she comes, then well … he would be happy? Yes, he knew he wouldn’t always be happy and there would still be heartaches, but he was sure they’re worth it because he was with the person he was meant to be with, right? At the very least he was sure that in the future, he wouldn’t look so regretful thinking about all the things he missed for not being with his one great love and that’s … well, good. It’s really good, yes.

***************************

“Fine, fine!” Kyungsoo begrudgingly tried to pacify Jongdae who seemed to have taken up whining as a hobby. “I’ll go with you.”

With that, Jongdae broke into a sunny smile as if he wasn’t looking so whiny and upset just a moment ago. It was all an act, of course. And it’s not as if Kyungsoo didn’t know but he said yes anyway because … it would be too complicated to say no, in his opinion. “God, you really do look like a Pokémon when you smile,” was only what he managed to say.

“Yes.” Jongdae smiled even wider. “And later, EXO will catch me.”

Kyungsoo just shook his head at his best friend’s delusion. Jongdae really had his brains addled by those singing, dancing machines. It’s better to get away now before he gets infected. “I’ll see you later, Pikachu.”

Jongdae broke from his trance. “Hey, you promised!” He barked.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, “I said I’ll see you later, didn’t I?”

Jongdae pouted and narrowed his eyes, “You better be there! Remember. Gocheok Sky Dome, before 5 p.m.!”

Kyungsoo once again shook his head, asking himself why he got mixed up with such a person as he walked away.

“EXO will change your life, Soo!” He heard from a distance behind him.

Not only Jongdae was a loud mouth, he was also embarrassing.

Running fast was suddenly a very attractive prospect for Kyungsoo.

***************************

Kyungsoo was nowhere near the mood of running away now. Beautiful. That was the only word that came to Kyungsoo’s mind as he stood, glued to the ground, thinking how it was possible that a concert could be so beautiful. He was suddenly feeling very sorry for being dismissive of anything ‘idol group’ without seeing or hearing anything for himself first, all this time. EXO really took it to him and blew out his mind. If he was to be honest, had he been … a little younger, perhaps? Just a little different from who he was, he would say Jongdae was right to say Exo would change his life. But he was who he was so he settled on being happy that he discovered something new. And really pleasant. He smiled as the sea of lights that was the concert venue got ready for the next act.

            Just close your eyes and it'll be over before you know it

            For a brief moment, Kyungsoo’s eyes were pulled shut, hypnotized by the beat. He felt it seep into his skin.

            Even if I try to run away, I can't

            His eyes opened to a hitch in his breath when a tall man in all white started to move. It was that person. The most pleasant of his discoveries tonight. He had never in his life seen anyone dance like him.

            My voice that is all dried up

            Please find me now

            I see you

            He looked like an angel with wings shooting out of his back as the spotlight hit him at specific moments of the song.

            Just find me right away

            Take me out of this, oh no

            All I see is you

His intense eyes scanned the audience. And then found Kyungsoo.

The spotlight illuminated his body, giving him a heavenly aura. He was so captivating you would think it was him producing the light. And nobody noticed yet, but Kim Jongin was.

***************************

Jongin entered the backstage after his solo performance like no one could—with white, gold, and silver light coming out of his chest.

“W-what?” He asked defensively to no one in particular when he noticed the staff gawking at him, motionless.

Sehun pointed at Jongin’s chest with hesitation, “Y-You’re glowing, bro.” He said while scratching his right eyebrow.

Jongin's eyes quickly turned to his chest and took in the sight of beaming light emanating from it. A stunned silence enveloped the usually rowdy backstage. Jongin blinked once, twice, until a smile that couldn’t possibly be any brighter graced his lips. “I knew he’s special,” he muttered, ducking his head shyly at the thought of the beautiful man with entrancing eyes and heart-shaped lips he saw in the audience. He knew when it took every ounce of his self-control to not stop his performance earlier so that he could give that special person all the attention he could give. It's him. His soulmate. He just knew it.

The rest of the EXO members came out of the dressing room to Jongin's glowing self. A collective gasp escaped them which made Jongin laugh.

"My soulmate's here." Jongin told them simply, looking at his bandmates with happiness he couldn't contain.

Baekhyun was the first one to recover from the shock of seeing Jongin glow. "Waaahhh!!! Our Jongin's really all grown up now. Finding soulmates and everything." He beamed, clapping Jongin's shoulder.

"He's really beautiful, hyung."

"Really? Then stop bragging and go change, so you can go back to the stage and sing and dance for him, you brat."

"Oh no!" Sehun's hand flew to cover his mouth. "What if he’s not there anymore because he panicked and went away? You know glowing can be really overwhelming and scary. So ... oh no ..."

Jongin faced Sehun in horror.

"Sehun!" Suho scolded. "Jongin, don't mind him. Just go and change. That special person must be waiting for you out there," he smiled, pointing at the direction of the stage.

Jongin hissed at Sehun before running off to change.

***************************

            One by one, Kyungsoo saw the nine members of EXO come out from the backstage. The whole Gocheok Sky Dome fell into a hush when his favorite member came out. It was the calm before the storm because a moment after, gasps, murmurs, and other forms of shocked reactions filled the concert venue. 

            “He's ing glowing! Look!”

            "Woah ... this is ... Hold me. I feel like I'm going to explode."

            "His soulmate is here! Who is it? Go look for her! Quick!"

            "Woah ... Our Jongin has finally found his great love."

            "Congratulations, Jongin!"

            "The ..." Jongdae couldn't believe what he was seeing. “See, my dear friend? Where else can you witness stuff like this happen in the middle of a ing concert. Just EXO, Soo. EXO. I told–” Jongdae turned to his friend and got a second shock. "S-Soo ..."

            Kyungsoo was looking at his own chest.

            "I'm glowing, too." He looked at Jongdae with tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

            Back and forth, Jongdae looked at Kyungsoo and Jongin, and realized what was getting his friend so worked up. White. Gold. Silver.

            Kyungsoo didn't know what to do. He couldn't understand what's happening. He's glowing with the same color as that of that man on stage.

As he did with Chanyeol, the man he was going to marry in three months.

            He should go, but he couldn't move. Instead his eyes fixed on the people on stage. The man in the middle was beaming as he allowed for Jongin to speak after a very short introduction.

            “Hello, EXO-L! You know, this day is already special because after quite a while, we get to perform in front of you again. But as you can see, this night became even more special for me. EXO-Ls must really be my lucky charm." Jongin grinned as his eyes wandered until it zeroed in on Kyungsoo. "Hi, there." His voice was gentle. "Look,” he said, pointing at his chest. "We match."

            "I found you," Kyungsoo heard Jongin utter. There was something in his stare that spoke to Kyungsoo's core, the reverence in his voice going straight to his heart. It took Kyungsoo by surprise that he couldn't stop the corner of his lips from turning up into a slight smile even as his eyes started to water. Why was this happening? Fate's such a cruel prankster.    

            ***************************

            Confusion clouded Jongin's mind as they head back to the dorm after the concert. What just happened? One moment he was looking into his soulmate's eyes, feeling like everything was right in the world, and the next, he's gone. He was hoping their managers got hold of him and brought him to the dressing room because it would be best and safest for him there but no. Oh, God! What if something bad happened to him? It's definitely because of him. Maybe the sasaengs ... Oh, no, please no.

            "We'll find him, Jongin." Concern laced Lay's tone as he yanked the younger's arm to stop him from tearing his hair out.

            "What if something bad happened to him, Hyung? What if he's being harassed at this very moment because of me?" Jongin sputtered. "Or maybe he doesn't want anything to do with me. Maybe Sehun's right. I scared him."

            "It was a joke, bro." Sehun mumbled, eyeing his bandmate and friend with guilt.

            Nervous silence reigned inside the van.

            "Jongin, we traced him."

            Five pairs of hopeful eyes looked at the man in the passenger seat, their manager Jun.       

            "That's a relief." Suho sighed. "I thought it will be difficult."

            "It could've been but considering that his face is plastered on different social media platforms right now--pictures of him from the concert, it’s not as hard as we expected. Some people from his neighborhood commented under the posts and we worked it out from there. We're about to do a clean-up now."

            Suho nodded. "Thank you for your hard work."

            "Wow. Way to make me feel conflicted, social media," Baekhyun, who just recently became the subject of bashing in social media platforms once again, muttered to himself. Jongin heard it and cracked a small smile. Baekhyun beamed at Jongin hoping to give him strength. He must admit, he couldn't understand how Jongin felt right now because he had never met his soulmate and lost him in just a short time, so he's not confident his advice would be useful, but giving strength ...  wasn't that always the way to go?

            "Thanks for cheering me up, hyung. It gives me strength." Jongin filled his lungs with air and gave his friends a genuine smile.

***************************

            Kyungsoo headed for the playground the moment Jongdae left him. He was on the swing, his feet making a dent in the sand as he slowly swung back and forth. It was probably midnight already but he was still in no mood to go home right now and face the complications he had to face after what happened at the concert.

            "What just happened? AAAAHHHH!!! complications. it. it. --"

            "Me?" A giggle coming from behind him stopped Kyungsoo's rant as he felt a pair of warm hands cover his that were gripping the swing's steel ropes. He tilted his body to see the owner, though he kind of had an idea who it was already. Chanyeol was most likely not back from his trip yet and there's only one more person who could make him glow. Kyungsoo almost cracked a smile against his better judgment seeing the cheeky smile adorning the newcomer's face. This was why he's a star. Kyungsoo caught himself on time, though, when he realized what the other man just said and glared instead.

            The dancer's smile was unrepentant when he said, "Sorry. Too early?" He released his hold on Kyungsoo's hand as he moved in front of the said man. "Hi. I'm Jongin."

            Kyungsoo looked at Jongin and immediately thought of the sun. Sun-kissed skin, with sun bleached hair, and a smile that could rival sunny days. Whoever sent Jongin his way surely knew how to him up. Oh wow, the sender even sent him flutters of the heart, too. How thoughtful.

Kyungsoo really should look away and he did. But not before Jongin caught him blushing and smirked in a way that’s not good for his peace of mind. He should have expected he would react this way to him. He made him glow, after all. But why now? 

           

Jongin saw Kyungsoo’s sour expression and immediately sobered. He sat on the empty swing beside Kyungsoo. “I’m sorry for teasing you. I … I’m just really nervous, to be perfectly honest. I know this could be overwhelming. This glowing thing. I was shocked, too, you know. But I’m not gonna lie, mostly, I’m just really happy that I found you.” His smile turned into a full blown grin when he saw Kyungsoo smile back. Even though it wasn’t as enthusiastic as he was hoping. Small steps. “You see, my parents and my older sisters all have found their soulmates and the love between them just flows out. It’s almost magical, really, just witnessing them love each other and be mad at each other and make each other laugh because there’s so much love and hope and life. It’s … I want something like that for myself. And then I looked at you in the concert and all that I’ve felt watching my parents and my older sisters and their soulmates pale in comparison to what I’ve felt that moment. It--” Jongin’s face fell when he saw Kyungsoo's teary eyes. He sighed, “D-Didn’t you feel it too?”

            He sighed again when he received no reply and proceeded to wipe the tears on Kyungsoo’s face. “Sorry. You’re scared, aren’t you? It’s okay if you don’t feel like talking now. But please don’t be scared of me. Let me stay here. With you. Okay—” Jongin’s eyes widened.  “Oh, wow. I haven’t asked you your name yet.” His horror turned to relief when Kyungsoo chuckled.

“I’m Kyungsoo.” He heard the other say and wow, his voice was so deep and calm, especially for someone so small and cute. It was making his heart flip and jump and pirouette. Calm down, Jongin.

“How old are you?” he asked in the most even voice he could muster.

“Twenty-five. You?”

“Twenty-four, hyung.” Jongin supplied, grinning.

 

Kyungsoo wondered how likely a thunderstorm was that night because he would rather be struck by lightning than take off that smile from Jongin’s face. fate, really.

They were silent for a while, stealing glances as they listen to the squeak of unoiled metal. Kyungsoo knew he should tell Jongin about Chanyeol soon. It’s going to be more complicated if he keep it to himself longer.

“Jongin.”

“Hmm?” Jongin caught his eyes and he couldn’t look away.

“I have s—” A phone ring stopped Kyungsoo from going further.

It’s Chanyeol.

“Sorry.” Kyungsoo walked away before swiping the answer icon.

“C-Chanyeol?” He stammered.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, thank God! What happened? You’re all over social media. Where are you?”

“Are you in Seoul now?”

“Yeah. Where are you?”

“… At the playground.”

“I knew it! Okay. I’ll go there.”

            “Wai—” Kyungsoo began to say but was met with a beeping sound. He tried to call Chanyeol back. He thought it would be best if he could deal with Jongin alone but Chanyeol was not picking up.

            “Who’s Chanyeol?” Jongin was by his side, looking at the name on his phone. “Is he your brother? Friend?” The younger asked—curious, clueless. Kyungsoo’s eyes were tearing up again looking at Jongin’s innocent expression.  

            Wow. Jongin was really going to find out about him and Chanyeol like this.

            Kyungsoo looked exhausted. “My fiancé.” He didn’t have the time to process Jongin’s response because right then, someone else joined them.

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol was running toward them.

It didn’t take the newcomer long to notice the person standing beside Kyungsoo and the white, gold, and silver light on the man’s chest. “What’s … going on?”

***************************

            Nearly a month had passed since Kyungsoo's chest glowed for Jongin. He was okay, or so he always said. He worked. He laughed. He got busy with the wedding preparations. But every night, when he was about to sleep, the flood of tears he had been holding in flowed freely until there was nothing. They kept coming out, though, thinking of that night when he left Jongin alone at the playground. Or when Jongin thought he left him. Kyungsoo got back, but he didn't really have the courage to go near the other again. Because what could he say, really? He watched as the younger shouted and cried until one of the EXO members and he supposed a manager went for Jongin and got him home. And then Kyungsoo cried some more.

            Sometimes, he couldn't help but think of the stark contrast between now and the first time he glowed. With Chanyeol, it was ... calm? Falling in love was gradual and there were less tears, definitely. Probably because there weren't any complications, then. It was just his style. With Jongin, well ... That kid conjured up a tempest, didn't he? It wasn't supposed to be like that.

            Chanyeol stared hard at Kyunsoo, seeing the latter nod vaguely at their wedding caterer—thoughts clearly anywhere but on the suggested menu. Chanyeol could see that Kyungsoo was trying his best to carry on normally. As if nothing happened. But it was clear to him it wasn't the case.

            He waited until they were alone.

            “If it was me who made you glow months before your wedding, would you be this conflicted?”

            Chanyeol's candid tone startled Kyungsoo and the quick 'no' in his mind scared him. Whatever it meant. "I ... don't know," was what got out of his mouth instead.

            “Bull.” Chanyeol's replied matter-of-factly.

            "What do you want me to say?" Frustration flowed out of Kyungsoo's tone. "I'm sorry that I'm like this right now. It's just that. I don't understand what happened. And ..." Kyungsoo took a deep breath. "I promise I won't be like this anymore after the wedding."

            Chanyeol nodded. "Sorry. It's not your fault. I just ..." he began.

            A couple of heartbeats then he released the breath he was holding, calculating eyes focused, reaching an important decision. "Kyungsoo, let's go on vacation.”

            Where did that come from?

            Kyungsoo was about to argue but then he saw the faint sign of a smile on Chanyeol's face and he held on to the hope it seemed to promise. "Okay. Let's do that."

 

            Chen was the fifth EXO member to come out of the practice room just to shake his head at the seven other members. No. He couldn't convince Jongin to stop. The younger already used to spend ridiculous hours in the practice room before, but the time he was spending in the practice room after the night they found him in that playground was an injury waiting to happen.

            Sehun stood up. This wouldn't do.

            "Come on," he said and went inside the practice room. The others had no choice but to follow him.

            "Then let's just get rid of that guy!" Sehun's voice was loud as he stole glances at the dancing Jongin. "Chanyeol's the name, right?" He looked at the others meaningfully.

            Taking Sehun's cue, Beakhyun made a show of calming his non-existent goosebumps. "Just hearing the name of that guy is giving me the creeps. Must be an ."

            Chen joined in. "For sure. I just know in my gut that he won't be able to make Kyungsoo happy. Only Jongin can, so let's get rid of him. It'll be easy. What's our being from EXOplanet for if we won't be able to test our powers here on earth, right?"

            "Ah, but that's too excessive, don't you think? Besides, we should only use our powers for good." The usually sensible Xiumin joined the act.

            For some reason, that made Jongin stop.

            "What say you, Jongin?" Sehun asked casually.

            Jongin looked at him dead in the eye. "Just leave me be."

            Lay had had enough of it. "Jongin, by the rate you're going, you're gonna get injured, and it won't help anybody. Do you understand me?"

            Silence.

            "That's it. Maybe Kyungsoo can put some sense into your thick head," Suho said, making a move to the door.

            Jongin sat clumsily on the wooden floor. "No. Don't. It's just gonna burden him."

            "Surely, he--"

            "No." It was Jongin who shook his head this time.

            Jongin had been following Kyungsoo after that night. At first, it was just the impulse to see him, to feel the connection. Then one night, he saw him at that same playground where everything crashed down, on the same swing smiling sadly at the other swing Jongin sat on that night.

            "Jongin."  Kyungsoo's voice was barely audible but somehow, Jongin heard.

            Perhaps Jongin was crazy but since then, he started looking for cracks in his soulmate's smiles. For signs that he was affected by what happened to them just like he was. That maybe, he needed him, too. That he will be happier with him. But he didn't see it again. He didn't hear him mutter his name again. It seemed like for Kyungsoo, nothing happened at all. It was that or Kyungsoo was a damn good actor and for some reason, Jongin settled with the former.

            "He's happy, you know. With Chanyeol." A heavy sigh left his mouth. "It's not anybody's fault. I just ... I'm sorry I got you all worried. I'll stop now. Just don't ... don't bother Kyungsoo." Jongin's smile didn't reach his eyes when his bandmates sat around him.

            A phone ring broke the silence in the practice room. It was Suho's. He looked at the screen with one eyebrow arched as he stood up and headed for the exit.

            He got back after several minutes.

            "Where are you guys spending our two-week vacation?"

            Sehun wondered where that question came from, but he answered nonetheless. "Batangas."

            "I don't know. Socotra, maybe?" That was Xiumin.

            Baekhyun gave him a where-the--is-that stare before saying, "I'll be going home."

            "Me, too." Jongin sounded tired. "I should tell my family the truth about Kyungsoo. They've been asking me about him since after the concert and I coudn't help but lie to them because they sounded so happy for me. I guess I should just be thankful I have the chance to tell them in person and they didn't have to find out about it online."

            There was a clean-up of posts about Kyungsoo minutes after they found him. Kyungsoo, being a private citizen, should not be subjected to public scrutiny, especially since it wasn't him or anybody related to him that posted pictures of him online. The media, thankfully, followed the protocol and stayed mum. At least for now.

            "I'll go with you," Suho insisted.

***************************

Kyungsoo couldn't believe what he was reading.

Kyungsoo,

            I'm sorry for resorting to tricking you. It's just that I know you will never agree to what I'm about to make you do. You're too responsible. Too stubborn. Too averse to anything that will make things complicated that I'm afraid we'll both make a mistake when it really matters. To tell you the truth, I was happy that you're trying to make things work between us like nothing happened. I really was. At first. But you must have underestimated my connection with you because even if you're not saying anything, I can feel that you're struggling. I wanted to convince myself that in time, you'll get over it. That I'll make you so happy you'll forget about him. But I can't. I don't want to. I understand now what you told me about your father. I understand now how you felt when your father chose to stay with your family even after he met his soulmate. Even if you knew he was thinking of somebody else when he's with you. I know you’ll understand when I say I don't want to feel like this my whole life, Kyungsoo. So, I am leaving you alone for two weeks.  I wish I could give you more time but alas, time is limited. In those two weeks please live as if you and I ... we never made each other glow. Or I was just a friend. Or better yet, don't consider me at all. I want you to find your answer. Find out the answer to your what ifs and give me an honest answer. Please. I need it as much as you do.

Chanyeol

            Thirty minutes had already passed but Kyungsoo was still glued to one of the benches in the Suncheon bus terminal, staring off into space. He still couldn't believe what happened. He seemed to have lost the will to move—feeling too horrible, disgusted by himself to do so. Did he really make Chanyeol feel that way? Like how his dad made him feel?

            What should he do? Should he run after Chanyeol and apologize? Should he beg to give him another chance? The glow on his chest meant that Chanyeol was probably still somewhere near so maybe he could still go after him.

Or maybe he should just do what Chanyeol wanted him to do? He deserved his honest answer, didn’t he?

He racked his brains for the right answer but before he got it, long legs wrapped in faded jeans and punctuated by a pair of black and white sneakers took his attention away from his despairing thoughts. A calm coupled with quiet tingling sensation washed over Kyungsoo as he looked up. So this is why he was still glowing. 

            Jongin sat beside him, apology written all over his face. “I’m sorry, hyung. I didn’t know Suho hyung will go on with his plan. I already swore I won’t practice excessively anymore, but he still made you come here. Sorry. It’s my fault for worrying them too much.”

            “What are you talking about?” The space between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows wrinkled.

            Jongin stopped making a mess of his hair, stunned by the elder’s question. “Didn’t Suho hyung make you come here to talk some sense into my thick skull or something?”

            Jongin saw the exhaustion on Kyungsoo’s face and he wanted nothing but to pull him in his arms. But he’s not allowed to do that, was he?

“No. Chanyeol left me here. To find answers or something.”

Something snapped inside Jongin when he heard Kyungsoo’s explanation. “So that’s why Suho hyung told me not to worry about that punk. He was in on this.” Why couldn’t that punk just focus on loving and making Kyungsoo happy instead of forging an alliance with their meddlesome leader?

            “That punk?” Kyungsoo wanted to know if he really heard what he heard.

            “Your fiancé, who else?”

            The bite in Jongin’s tone turned Kyungsoo defensive. “If he’s a punk, I won’t be here.”

            “Fine. Saint Chanyeol and Reverend Suho planned this. Happy?”

            A faint smile appeared on Kyungsoo’s face seeing Jongin’s pissed off expression.

            “I really don’t want to bother you, hyung,” the younger whined. “Do you want to go home? I’ll have the van send you home. Don’t bother with me. I’m really fine.”

            Kyungsoo made no reply to what Jongin said, but instead ask, “Why did Suho think you should see me?”

            “N-Nothing.” Jongin chanced a glance at the older male. “Why did that pu—Saint Chanyeol think you should see me?”

            No one answered.

            Kyungsoo sighed. “Well, since I’m here already, I might as well stay for a few days and enjoy what this place has to offer. I was told there’s a cliff diving site here.”

And answers. Answers were here according to Chanyeol.

            “Yeah. A lot of tourists go there,” Jongin confirmed absently.

            Kyungsoo’s eyes rounded. “Oh? You’ve been here before?”

            “This is my hometown.”

            “I see.” If Kyungsoo weren’t a part of this mess, he would have been on the floor laughing. Chanyeol and EXO's leader planned this too well. He looked at Jongin, giving the other a consoling smile in hopes that it would erase the younger’s moody facade. It’s okay. I wasn’t anybody’s fault. Kyungsoo thought he was probably partly at fault, but that’s why he was going to stay. He would find his answers and … and what? Kyungsoo mentally shook his head to ward off the negativity. “Can you recommend a nice hotel? I let Chanyeol plan the whole thing. I didn’t know he …” He sighed and shook his head, chuckling.

Jongin’s mood soured even more thinking again about what their leader and that punk did to Kyungsoo, “Don’t bother with the hotel, hyung. You can stay in our house. There’s plenty of room.”

***************************

Jongin should have seen this coming when he invited Kyungsoo to stay with his family. This was what’s going to happen when you sulk for too long. Your foresight would be faulty. Not that Jongin was regretting inviting Kyungsoo. He wouldn’t deny and say he didn’t congratulate himself for coming up with such a promising suggestion, happily thinking about being near Kyungsoo even just for a short while. But this? Weren’t his parents being too much?

True he had already given Kyungsoo a heads-up about the situation with his parents—about them not yet knowing about Kyungsoo having a fiancé and all that. And Jongin had apologized profusely in advance which Kyungsoo waved off saying, “Stop apologizing. I understand. And besides, how bad could it be when, as you said, your parents are happy for us? I mean … for us glowing and all …” Jongin smiled then, heart pleased with how Kyungsoo ended his statement—blushing and nibbling on his heart-shaped lips. Now, though, Jongin was mentally scolding himself as his dad beamed at them unendingly and his too delighted mother hovered over them. They were supposed to be having dinner.

Escaping the reality of the situation and all its complications, Jongin kept his eyes on Kyungsoo and thanked the heavens that the other didn’t seem to mind his parents being extra. He looked really cute responding to his mother’s compliments with blushing cheeks and shy smiles.  They all looked cute together—Kyungsoo with his mom and dad. Jongin’s smile turned sad thinking about what could have been.

“You okay?” A quiet voice permeated through Jongin’s consciousness and pulled him from his gloomy thoughts to meet its subject's concerned eyes.

“Yeah,” Jongin replied.

Kyungsoo, hearing Jongin's vague tone, narrowed his eyes knowingly which Jongin met with his own insistent stare coupled with a slight nod. He's really okay.

“Hey, you two. You're not going to feel full if you just keep staring at each other." Jongin's mom's said as she looked at Kyungsoo and her son with fond exhaustion. "Kyungsoo, sweetie, eat more meat. You're very thin." She turned to her son while putting more meat on Kyungsoo's plate. "Jongin, make sure you take care of our Kyungsoo well.”

He's our Kyungsoo now, huh? Jongin was suddenly not sure if it's really him who's her son or Kyungsoo, but he agreed to what his mom said nonetheless. Hell yeah, he's gonna take care of Kyungsoo well. But it's not his place, was it? Whatever.

"You two." Jongin's mom began again and Jongin found he rather liked being addressed as 'you two' with Kyungsoo. "I know both of you must be very busy, but always make sure to take care of each other and spend time together, okay? I've said this to both of your sisters, Jongin, it's not enough that you make each other glow. Yes, the pull is there and it makes a very good starting point, but at the end of the day, you have to be sure that whether the glow is there or not, you choose each other. You'll only develop that kind of understanding once you truly spend time together."

Jongin and Kyungsoo found themselves nodding because what else could they say to that? Kyungsoo, for his part, would think about what she said for a long time, he was sure.

"Darling." Jongin's dad broke the suddenly thick atmosphere. "I think you scared the kids. Look at them."

Jongin's parents' laughter filled the dining room and dispelled the remaining serious mood.

 

Jongin's mom kept giving him shock after shock.

"Have a good night, you two." Jongin's mom stood up and turned to Kyungsoo with an apologetic look. "Kyungsoo, son, I'm sorry we haven't gotten to changing the bed in Jongin's room yet. You two would have to sleep in his old one. It's a twin bed but I think, with how big our Jongin has gotten, you two would have to squeeze yourselves a little to fit. We didn't expect Jongin would keep you a surprise. We would've gotten a bigger bed for the both of you. But for all we know, this is all Jongin's plan, so that you two would have no choice but to cuddle." Kyungsoo nearly choked but Jongin's mom wasn't finished yet. She gave her son a knowing smile. "Huh, Jongin?"

"What?" Jongin thought he couldn't have possibly heard all what his mom said correctly.

"What do you mean what?"

"I--" Jongin looked at Kyungsoo who was looking as confused as he was, then scratched his head. "Is Kyungsoo going to sleep in my room?"

"Naturally."

"Oh." Jongin's head tilted to the side. "Then where am I going to sleep?"

"In your room?" A wrinkle appeared in between his mom's eyebrows.  "Sweetie, are you okay?"

"Mom. Kyungsoo and I just met a month ago and we--" He looked at the other, eyes screaming for help. Seeing the other was at a loss as well, Jongin helplessly said, "Kyungsoo might want to have privacy for now.  Right, hyung?"

Jongin's mom spoke before Kyungsoo got one sound out of his mouth. Rolling her eyes, she said, "Being a prude doesn't become you, Jongin. So what if you just met a month ago? And besides, I have yet to get the other rooms cleaned since your sisters won't be here until next month." Her megawatt smile hit Kyungsoo. "Kyungsoo, sweetie. You wouldn't mind sleeping in Jongin's room, would you?"

“Ah.” Kyungsoo's eyes widen when all the attention suddenly turned to him.  “No, not really,” Kyungsoo muttered, blushing once again.

Jongin’s right eyebrow arched at Kyungsoo’s answer, a grin threatening to form on his face. But really, how else could Kyungsoo answer? That he didn’t want to sleep in Jongin’s room because he loved and was engaged to another man? Of course not! Don’t be too pleased, Jongin.

His mom, on the other hand, had no reservations about being pleased with Kyungsoo's answer. “You see?” Her tone was smug, eyes twinkling. “Jongin, your dad and I are soulmates, too. We’ve been in your position before, newly paired up and all. We’re well aware of your … shall we say … needs. The need to be closer and to … you know. Needs that you can better take care of when you’re together in one room. In one bed. I just want to make sure that your needs are going to be taken care of.”

“Mom!” Suddenly, that was the only word in Jongin's vocabulary. Was she this bad with his sisters and brothers-in-law?

His mom flashed him a grin before walking away.

“Just be glad you have such progressive parents, Jongin.” His father clapped his back and followed his wife.

 

Kyungsoo could feel the man beside him carefully turn for the nth time, the bed bouncing a little. Jongin should've just let him sleep on the floor--it's clear he's uncomfortable with their arrangement anyway. But no, the younger insisted that it's him who should sleep on the floor—Kyungsoo being the guest and all—and if Kyungsoo wouldn't let him (sleep on the floor, that is) then they would have to share the bed. Which brought them to their current state.

The exhaustion from all that happened that day hit Kyungsoo like a strong wave. "Jongin, I told you. I'll just sleep on the floor."

Jongin, who was in the middle of carefully turning again, faced Kyungsoo. "What? No!"  His plump lower lip jutted out slightly. "Are you uncomfortable?" Taking Kyungsoo's silence as an affirmative, he sighed. "You see? You should've just let me sleep on the floor," Jongin grumbled as he moved out of the bed.

 Seeing what the younger was about to do, it was Kyungsoo's turn to sigh. "Get your back on the bed." He swung his other leg out of the mattress, preparing to move out. "I'll sleep on the floor."

"Ah, hyung ..." He heard Jongin whine.

"What?!"

Seeing the older's annoyed expression, Jongin's lips pouted instantly. "I should be the one to sleep on the floor. Y-You're a guest."

Kyungsoo couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Jongin, I lied to your parents when their being so sweet to me and then invaded your room. I could hardly be considered a guest," he finished with an edge in his voice.

Jongin's eyes were insistent on the other. "Please don't think about it that way. It's not your fault."

Kyungsoo met Jongin's eyes and saw guilt. The ache in his heart doubled. Jongin shouldn't be having even a remote feeling of guilt. It's his alone, Kyungsoo had come to realize. It's his bad karma.

"Let me sleep on the floor, Jongin, please."

"But hyung ..." Jongin whined again which elicited a small smile from Kyungsoo.

"Jongin, you're clearly uncomfortable sharing your bed with me and I can't blame you for that. So, just let hyung sleep on the floor, yes?"

Jongin frowned. "Who says I'm uncomfortable?"

Kyungsoo shook his head, smiling. "You keep on turning, Jongin. Don't even try to deny it."

Jongin's face cleared. "Ah!" A sheepish grin appeared on his face. "Kyungsoo, hyung. I have a confession." He took a deep breath. "Ah I-I. You see, sleeping, for me, shouldn't be done ... I mean, I want to ... But of course, I can't because I don't want to make you ... I'm a decent person, you know? It's just that ... habit ... that's--" Jongin was a mumbling mess with red cheeks at this point. He sighed, trying another way to go about what he had to say, "Hyung, you know EXO, right? Of course you do. You watched our concert. That's where we met. You looked so cute that night, by the way. Anyway, if you've watched one of our old interviews, you would know that I-I ..."

"Just get to the point, Jongin."

"It's difficult for me to sleep with my shirt on. And well, as you can see, I'm wearing one right now. So I can't sleep. It's not you ... it's me. Actually, I kinda like you beside me. But without a shirt on. I mean, me. I don't want to wear a shirt when sleeping with you. Lying on the bed, I mean. With you beside me." Jongin released a frustrated sigh and plopped down the bed with his hand covering his handsome face.

Kyungsoo didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Jongin was so adorable and he wanted to hug him so bad. That pull Jongin's mom talked about was definitely hard at work right now.

He was blushing to the tips of his hair when he said with the most logical tone he could muster, "Then remove your shirt. We're in your room, sleeping on your bed. You should be comfortable."

"But you--"

"I'm more comfortable sleeping without pants on, you know. I would remove it if you remove your shirt. That way we're even and both comfortable." Kyungsoo said as fast as he could. He must be crazy.
            Jongin stared at him with wide eyes. The poor boy had gotten a shock. "O-okay."

Jongin proceeded on slowly removing his shirt--still dazed. Kyungsoo, swallowing nervously, did his end of the bargain and took off his pants.

He shouldn't have checked on Jongin because ... well ... because ... ABS. Jongin caught him staring and Kyungsoo didn't know if he should be thankful the other didn't give him his infamous smirk because then the younger's eyes were intensely on him, head tilted to the side, knocking the breath out of Kyungsoo. Jongin's gaze felt like butterfly wings on his face, neck, shoulders, arms. It found its home on his lips. 

"Good night, hyung."

"Good night, Jongin."

They laid on the bed, both facing the ceiling. Both wanting to reach for the other.

It's that pull. That was what Kyungsoo insisted inside his head, trying to convince himself when truly, he couldn't understand what's going on. It's too much. Too early. Nothing like before.

***************************

            It was so easy to feel at home in Jongin's house with its warm colors and even warmer people. Kyungsoo's eyes were soft as he watched Jongin's parents give their morning greetings to each other and to him.

            "Darling, our Jongin hit the jackpot with Kyungsoo. Look!" Jongin's mom proudly showed the dishes on the table that she and the high-end restaurant manager prepared.

            Jongin's father nodded with a grin, looking at his wife. "Like father, like son. Jongin's fortunate like me." He walked toward Kyungsoo and ruffled the younger's hair.

            Kyungsoo was ready to cry right there and then because of the guilt of having lied to the two beautiful people in front of him. He chose instead to busy himself with pouring pajeon batter over scallion and shrimp on the frying pan. The sizzle calmed his senses only to be heightened by the arms that s over his waist, his back now full of Jongin. 

            "Hyung." He heard Jongin mutter over his shoulders, voice low and laced with sleepiness. It's clear that the other wasn't fully awake yet, body ran more by his subconscious, so Kyungsoo chose not to put any meaning to his actions. He turned his body and faced Jongin whose eyes, as Kyungsoo expected, was still almost shut. His three days in the Kim household were enough to convince him of Jongin's love affair with sleep. Kyungsoo smiled at the sight, warmth unavoidably spreading all over his chest when Jongin whined, draping himself all over him again—not liking the space between them. Kyungsoo's breath hitched when the younger gave him a kiss on the forehead. He felt so hot, he could smell himself burning.

            It was the pajeon.

            "Oh, ."

            That woke Jongin up completely. He quickly released a squirming Kyungsoo from his hold, looking sheepish. "Good morning, hyung."

            Kyungsoo didn't have time to hear that as he rushed over the frying pan to rescue his pajeon. It was saved in the end and was now being metabolized in the Kims’ plus Kyungsoo's stomachs. 

            Kyungsoo was ready to smile when he caught Jongin's eyes but the other was looking at him oddly. Kyungsoo brushed off the sinking feeling it gave him.

 

            It proved to be ominous—that look. Jongin, for some reason that Kyungsoo was getting frustrated trying to figure out, had been avoiding him. Yes, he was still spending time with him, but it was like Jongin wasn't with him. He brought him to tourist spots, to the local market, ate meals with him, and made his heart flutter more times than what he thought was proper—or possible, but there was something missing, something hidden in Jongin's smiles that made Kyungsoo want to shake him and cry. It occurred to him that perhaps, it's for the best that Jongin was treating him like that. That way, whatever answer he would find wouldn't be hard for anybody, would it? But most of the time, it was just him asking himself and the universe where his bright Jongin was.

            The third day of Jongin avoiding him was about to come to an end and Kyungsoo decided that he had enough of it. He had been waiting for Jongin to come to their room, resolved to talk to the younger about his behavior, but no one was coming.

            Kyungsoo got out of the house, guided by Jongin's mom's answer when he asked the lady about her son's whereabouts, which was why few hours before midnight, he once again found himself in some deserted neighborhood playground with Jongin.

            Jongin looked up when he saw the older approaching. "Hyung."

            "Hi," Kyungsoo greeted lamely, then sat on the empty swing beside Jongin. When it seemed like the person beside him wouldn't speak, he began again. "I-I've been waiting for you in our room."

            Jongin gave him a surprise look. "Oh, I-I'm sorry." He looked away, biting his lower lip. "You don't need to wait up for me. You can go to sleep without me. I-I'll come later."

            Kyungsoo frowned. "Jongin, do we have a problem?"

            Another surprised look from Jongin which turned into a frustrated sigh.

            "I—Did I do something wrong?" Kyungsoo had his head bowed.

            "Wha-No!"

            "Then why were you avoiding me?"

            "No, I-I was just ... I wasn't avoiding you, hyung."

            They were silent for a while. Waiting.

            Jongin released a tired sigh, "I don't know. It's just that, hyung, you've been nothing but amazing. To me. To my family. My parents like you a lot. I like you a lot. But we both know it's going nowhere. You're ing engaged to be married!"

            "I'm sorry," Kyungsoo's voice was thick with unshed tears. He wished he could take back what he said, say more, when he saw something snap within Jongin.

            "Stop apologizing and answer me this." Jongin looked at Kyungsoo dead in the eye. "Why are you here, hyung?"

            "W-What do you mean?"

            "I mean, why are you here? Why are you so amazing to my family? Why do you let me sleep beside you? Why do you let me hug you? Why do you smile at me so ing brightly? Is this some sort of goodbye trip? A last fling before you spend your whole lifetime with another man?"

            "It's not like that, Jongin."

            "Then what is this? What do we really have, Kyungsoo, huh?"

            Kyungsoo wished he could say more than "I-I don't know."

            Jongin nodded his head bitterly and walked away, kicking an unfortunate water bottle on his way.

 

            It was already two in the morning when Kyungsoo entered Jongin's room, with Jongin’s words replaying over and over in his head. He had been very selfish, indeed. Kyungsoo sighed as he closed the door, hoping that the other had already fallen asleep, but he was having no such luck.

            "Hyung, I'm sorry." Jongin’s shoulders were slumped.

            Kyungsoo shook his head. "No, Jongin. You're right. It's ... selfish of me ... to be here ... to be around you w-when I'm in the situation I'm in."

            "I was the one to invite you."

            Kyungsoo gave Jongin a tiny smile. "And I shouldn't have accepted." He walked toward the walk-in closet. "I'll leave tomorrow morning," He said, trying to sound natural while looking around for his travel bag. "And about your parents, I could tell them the truth tomorrow, if you want."

            Kyungsoo felt warm hands envelope his right hand. He turned and saw a crying Jongin in front of him. Kyungsoo felt pricks on his heart as tears fell from Jongin eyes.

            "Hyung, don't leave."

            Kyungsoo reached out to wipe away the tears on the other man's cheeks. "Jongin, please don't cry. This is for the best," he said to which Jongin replied with a tug on his hand. He let the younger lead him outside the closet. He owed him at least this much.

            They were sitting on the bed, facing each other. "Really, hyung, I'm sorry." When he saw Kyungsoo was about to say something, he shook his head. "No, please, I need to say this. The thing is ... I was so devastated after that night, hyung. I long for you." Jongin went on, telling Kyungsoo about how he followed him and about that night he saw him sad in the playground and what happened after that. "I kept on waiting for that crack in your smile, but I saw none. Like nothing happened. And forgive me, but that upset me more. I was feeling upset and then guilty for being upset that you're okay. I felt like I'm going crazy so I started pouring more and more hours into practice, hoping that it'll make me stop missing you. The members were worried, that’s probably why Suho hyung made that arrangement with your fiancé. That's what happened, and that time, we only knew each other for what, less than a day? Now, it's longer. I'm scared, hyung. About what's gonna happen to me when you go away this time."

            Jongin's sobs were muffled when Kyungsoo held him in his arms.

            "I'm sorry about what I said to you—for accusing you of horrible things. I was just very scared."

            "Ssh. That's alright." A tired chuckle escaped Kyungsoo's mouth. "I'm not even sure if what you said aren't true. I don't know exactly why I'm here. I thought … finding answers maybe? But I don't even know what the question is. Is it even right to ask a question at this point? Like what you said, I'm ing engaged to be married!"

            "Do you want to get married?"

            Kyungsoo avoided Jongin's eyes. "Well, yes, I did. I said yes to the proposal."

            "I mean, after glowing for me?"

            They stole glances on each other.

            Kyungsoo sighed and slowly shook his head, frowning. "I don't know ..." He released a hollow laugh. "I guess I've found my question, huh."

            "Did ... Chanyeol know about ...?"

            "I think he found the question before I did." Kyungsoo got up to get something from his backpack. The letter from Chanyeol.

            Jongin had been very honest to him when he explained his actions even when he didn't have to. Kyungsoo thought it only fair to give him the same courtesy. He handed the letter to Jongin. "Here."

            He watched the play of emotions on Jongin's face as the younger read the letter.
            "Is—is it true? About you struggling after that night?"

            Kyungsoo smiled sadly in affirmative and held his breath when Jongin gave him a measuring look.

            "So ... you're here to ... see if you still want to marry Chanyeol despite of me?" 

            Kyungsoo slumped his shoulders. "Messed up, isn't it? I involved you into some kind of experiment or something," Kyungsoo said, disgusted by the realization. He shook his head and took another deep breath. "This won't be enough, but I'm really, really sorry, Jongin. To you. To your family. I don't know what came into me." He buried his head in his hands.

            A minute had passed when he met Jongin's gaze again. "But I'll leave tomorrow, it--"

            "No. Stay here. I want to find out, too."

            Kyungsoo's wide eyes was full of shock it almost made Jongin laugh. But he fought against it and held Kyungsoo's stare until the latter said, "Okay."

            The corner of Jongin's lips perked up slightly at that. "Now go wash up, hyung. You look like ."

            It was the first time he saw Kyungsoo pout and it was like his heart stopped for a moment.

            "You don't look any better, dongsaeng," the owner of the most adorable pout muttered.

            They found themselves reaching for each other that night. Jongin held Kyungsoo in his arms and Kyungsoo made himself comfortable, listening to the heart beat beneath the younger's chest. They both didn't know where they found the self-restraint to not go further. 

            "Hyung?"

            "Hmm?"

            "What was Chanyeol talking about in that letter when he said he didn't want to feel the way your father made you feel forever?" Jongin asked with a quiet voice, his hand capturing Kyungsoo's roaming one. He wasn't sure if his hyung was aware what he's doing to his upper body, but just a bit more and it would definitely be hard for something in Jongin's lower body not to show its reaction.

            Jongin felt Kyungsoo's sigh on his glowing chest. His hyung really was overestimating his control. Jongin nearly lost his mind when Kyungsoo's lips started moving on the skin over his heart as he answered his question. "My ... my parents aren't soulmates," he began as Jongin adjusted him so that they're looking at each other (and Kyungsoo’s lips were not touching his chest). Jongin thought if he made the right decision because looking into Kyungsoo's eyes was making his heart beat even faster and Kyungsoo's was doing the same.

            Thump. Thump. Thump.

            It was Kyungsoo who looked away first. He laid on his back and faced the ceiling, head pillowed on Jongin’s arms. "My parents didn't make each other glow. They were those who always harp about beating the system and decided to get married. I personally think they just got tired of waiting and maybe scared—you know there were some who died alone waiting for their soulmate. Then, my parents had me and well, it wasn't bad. We were just like other families. It wasn't like yours, but we were okay. So I was like, maybe finding one's soulmate isn't all that." He looked at Jongin with hesitant eyes then away. "And then one fateful day—I was eleven—my dad glowed. Obviously it wasn't for my mom. It was for this woman we saw in a supermarket. They had an affair. It had been going on for about a year when my mom decided that she had enough of it and made my dad choose. My dad chose us. I still don't know why he did. Pride, maybe? Stupidity? Vanity? Guilt?" His eyes closed briefly as Jongin wiped his angry tears. "It definitely wasn't because he loves us more." His laugh was bitter. "Every day of my life since then, it's like he’s not there. He's somewhere else—probably with that woman. I don't know how my mom was able to take all of it. So, I promised myself that I wouldn't settle for anybody else but my soulmate. Too complicated, you know? What if I become just like my dad? I don't want to do that to anybody." The smile he gave Jongin didn't reach his eyes. "But then here we are. I feel like this happened to me--to us--as some sort of bad karma for taking my dad away from his soulmate." His couldn't stop his tears. "I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Jongin. You're such a beautiful person and so good and I'm--" Kyungsoo was sobbing hard in Jongin's embrace and Jongin could feel his heart breaking a thousand times.

            "Sshh. Nothing of this is your fault." Jongin cupped Kyungsoo's face and kissed him on the forehead, on both cheeks, and then on the lips. It was quick and sweet and calming. "No matter what happens, I'll always be thankful that you came into my life. Remember that, hyung."

            Hearing Kyungsoo's story, he wondered how messed up could that punk be for doing this to his hyung—using a very deep scar, making him face all the guilt  and pain he must've been trying to move on from—just so he could satisfy his curiosity. But Jongin kept quiet. Maybe he was just being biased. It's possible that Chanyeol was just also very hurt and confused. And maybe, he really did mean well.

            "What was that punk like?" Jongin asked after some time.

            Kyungsoo was already calm, back to listening to Jongin's heart beat with absently roaming hands. "You mean, Chanyeol?"

            "Yeah, that punk. And don't say tall or whatever. I've seen him."

            "Hmm ... like the sun at noon? Sunny and positive and full of energy."

            "Oh." Jongin tried not to grit his teeth over the very positive description of Saint Chanyeol. "How was it like when you ... you know glowed for him?"

            Kyungsoo tilted his head to see Jongin's face who looked back curiously. Seeing that, Kyungsoo got back to listening to the younger's heart beat and said, "It was a little more than two years ago. It was surprising, of course. But mostly, it was calm."

            "How about with me?" Jongin couldn't help but ask.

            Kyungsoo met him with honest eyes. "You stirred a ing storm, Jongin."

            Jongin fought off the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "As expected. I kind of have that effect on people."

            Jongin felt Kyungsoo's lips curve up into a smile on his chest and had to smile fully, too. “I love you.” He chuckled when he sensed Kyungsoo startle. “No need to get so worked up about it, hyung. I’m not expecting any reply or whatever. Just getting it out there. Pent up emotion is not very good.” He finished, hugging Kyungsoo closer.  

***************************

            It was the last day of their two-week vacation, so they decided to go all out with it.

"Come on Jongin! It's gonna be fun. It's not like you’ll jump alone. We're gonna jump together, come on!" Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes on Jongin. "Are you scared, huh?"

            Jongin had always been competitive, so hearing the taunt, he gritted his teeth and shouted. "Fine!" Plus Kyungsoo looked really excited and who was he to say no to that?

            Kyungsoo's answering beam was so different from the devil-like being taunting him just a few seconds ago that Jongin gawked, absolutely certain that Kyungsoo would make him crazy someday if he hadn't already. He could only shake his head when the older entwined their hands so they could jump off a cliff together straight to the blue ocean below. .

            Jongin couldn't swim.

 

            Kyungsoo reached the surface of the water, heaving, feeling so alive after laboring to get a glimpse of the blue sky and breathe normally again. Now where was that wuss? He couldn't wait to tease Jongin about his mini breakdown before they jumped.

            "Jongin?" He called maneuvering his body to find Jongin. "Jongin?"

            There was no around around.

            "Jongin?!" He called again, looking about, trying to calm down his escalating heartbeat.

            "This kid ... JONGIN! WHERE ARE YOU?" He shouted one more time, voice cracking.

            Still no answer. Where the is the boat that's supposed to come for them after they jumped?

            One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Still none.

            Kyungsoo was unsuccessfully trying not to panic. "No, no, no ... please no ... God, please."

            He went underwater to find any trace of Jongin. He was on his third attempt when he saw the younger, struggling to stay afloat and hand wildly moving about.

            Relief flooded Kyungsoo's system. "JONGIN!"

            "Hyung!" Jongin managed to say but he couldn't say more. He couldn't stay above the water.

            Kyungsoo's heart sank with Jongin. Where the was the boat? "Hey! Wait for me!" He swam as fast as he could to where he last saw the younger. "Jongin! Wait for me, please." He begged God, the water, the fates, anything, and anybody, to keep Jongin safe.

            He saw him briefly, choking on water, and then was gone again.

            "Don't ing play around, Kim Jongin!"

            He went underwater again, extending his arms and legs, swimming toward Jongin to the best of his ability. Then at last, he reached him.

            Paying no attention to the exhaustion in his bones, Kyungsoo moved quickly to put Jongin's arms over his shoulder, his arms firmly on the younger's waist.

            "You're safe. You're safe." Kyungsoo kept muttering as much to himself as to Jongin as he held the younger and swam to the nearest rock where they would wait for the boat to arrive.

            "Are you okay?" Kyungsoo asked Jongin gently after the latter coughed out water.

            Kyungsoo was combing Jongin's hair away from his face, muttering words of reassurance when the ing boat arrived. And Jongin thought that perhaps it's wrong to feel the way he was feeling that moment, especially after what just happened, but he really couldn't help the bubbling mirth forming in his chest when he saw Kyungsoo staring daggers at the boat operators. He felt especially proud when his hyung kept on giving them death stares until they arrived to an almost empty beach.

           

            "Ha! Hyung, I think those--" Jongin's grin vanished quickly when he saw Kyungsoo's face. What happened? Is his hyung mistaking him for one of those boat operators?

            " you!"

            Jongin's eyes bug out of their sockets. He nearly drowned. He shouldn't be treated this way. "Hyung--"

            "SHUT THE UP! Why the didn't you tell me you can't swim, huh? You nearly died, stupid er! you!"

            There was wildness in the way Kyungsoo was looking at him right then so he thought it would be best to just stay quiet and let his hyung let out all his pent up emotions. Kyungsoo looked so scared and Jongin had to fight the urge to hold him in his arms to give the older the space that he needed.

            Kyungsoo collapsed on the sand, burying his head in both hands as he leaned on the big rock on his left. "I was so scared, you stupid ...” He looked at the man beside him, eyes bright with unshed tears. "Jongin ... you nearly died. You're so stup--" He raised his hands to hit the younger.

            Jongin caught them. "I know ... I know ... Hyung, calm down."

            "CALM DOWN? YOU NEARLY DIED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!"

            "Yes ... Yes, I nearly died. You saved me. I scared you. I'm sorry. I'm stupid." Jongin raised the hands firmly held in his to his lips and kissed them again and again, looking at Kyungsoo straight in the eyes with his sincerest apologies.

            "You could've died, Jongin ..." Kyungsoo's tone was helpless. "I could have lost--"

            Kyungsoo didn't get to finish what he had to say as Jongin cradled his face on his large hands and captured his lips in a searing kiss. “I’m still here.”

Jongin bit and teased, tasted and worshipped Kyungsoo’s plump lips. All caution he might have had until that point was thrown to the wind when the older opened for him with a moan. His arms slipped down and encircled Kyungsoo’s waist, pulling him on his lap. Kyungsoo’s whine at the brief separation when Jongin positioned himself in between the older’s legs registered in the younger’s mind, making him pull the other even closer. Kyungsoo’s answer was a delicious gasp when their sensitive parts rubbed on each other. Jongin put his all into the kiss as Kyungsoo laced his hand behind his neck and pulled his hair, kissing him back as if he yearned for him just as much as he did. They hungered and savored the taste of each other’s mouth. They burned and melted with every touch, hearts beating wildly in unison to contrast the gentle waves lapping at the sand.

            “Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispered when they separated to catch their breath, forehead still connected. He’s trembling.

            Jongin hummed in response, eyes closed, gently holding the back of Kyungsoo’s head.

            “Jongin,” Kyungsoo repeated.

            Jongin’s eyes opened to Kyungsoo’s teary ones and took in all the passion, frustration, guilt, and everything else lying behind them in a warm embrace.

They laid on the sand until the moon was directly overhead, both of them relatively more lighthearted. Jongin was thankful because he didn’t want Kyungsoo to think of this day and just remember it end with all those negative feelings it brought him. It could be their last together, for all he knew.       

He faced Kyungsoo, head cradled on his left hand. "You know what? I think I should get myself nearly drowned more often."

            Kyungsoo squinted. " you."

            Jongin's answer was an arrogant smirk. "You know I will never say no to that.” He winked.

            Kyungsoo hit him without meaning and then they were both laughing uncontrollably.

            “C’mon it’s getting really dark here.” Kyungsoo stood up, offering Jongin his hand.

            Jongin accepted his offer and gingerly stood up. “Good thing we have matching flashlights.” He pointed at the matching glow on their chests which rumbled once again in laughter.

***************************

Kyungsoo and Jongin found themselves inside their room, downing a stupid amount of alcohol, with loose tongues prone to spouting off both nonsense and truth. There would be nothing but Jongin’s books to hear them, anyway. Kyungsoo smiled to himself, looking at their room’s walls covered with shelves and shelves of books. Jongin loved reading, obviously. He remembered he had yet to ask him about his favorite ones and many other questions.

“Waahh!!! D.O. hyung looks so cute here.” Jongin cheered, examining the picture displayed on his iPad with what could be considered a fond look if you asked Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo felt his ears ring. “Who?”

“D.O. hyung.” Jongin put his iPad near Kyungsoo’s face. “Ah … This is why he has so many fanboys. He’s so squishy.”

Kyungsoo tried his best to not narrow his eyes. He took a deep breath. “Hmm,” he sounded dismissively then looked straight on.

Mistaking that he didn’t hear Kyungsoo properly, Jongin turned to Kyungsoo “Hmm?”

“Jongin, do you know what a person crossing two rivers at the same time* mean?”

Jongin nodded. “Yes. It means a person who’s having a romantic relationship with two people at the same time.” He said quickly then paused, mind working faster than his inebriated state suggested. Was his Kyungsoo hyung implying what he thought he’s implying? “Do you … do you think me and D.O. hyung … Are you … are you jealous of D.O. hyung?”

“No!” Yes, Kyungsoo was. But he could’ve been just describing himself, too (with that crossing two rivers thing). But his situation was … Whatever! “And you’re wrong.”

“Oookaaay … Then what does it mean?” He could feel Jongin giving him a major side-eye.

“Nothing! What the hell does your Kokobop MV even mean?” He countered, grasping at whatever. “Your creative staff are hitting the pipe, aren’t they?”

Jongin let the issue go and pretended to be insulted. “Excuse me? They are one of the most talented creative staff in Kpop, I’ll have you know. Nothing but quality for EXO.” And not that he’s being defensive, but Jongin’s really got to add this. "And Kokobop’s MV is very meaningful. Ah, hyung, you should have followed EXO from the beginning so you’ll know. You see, we’re from EXOplanet, right? The Kokobop MV is when we first arrived here on Earth. And what did we see? A world delighting in fake food and loud, colorful, and meaningless entertainment; getting drowned in hidden emotions; and being ran and manipulated by invisible people. It’s like the whole world’s drugged up. Hence, the drugs reference. This is why we sang about our frustrations in Mama.” 

Kyungsoo stared at him point blank. “Bull,” he dismissed, then suddenly had his eyes focused on the younger male. “Jongin! Never. Do. Drugs. I’m telling you. I’m gonna kill you if you do.”

Jongin’s shoulders shook with laughter which earned him a gentle slap from Kyungsoo. “Ooh … Are you worried, huh? Is that worry I here in your voice?” He teased the older.

“Shut the up. I just hate ruined potential, you know. If you become addicted to drugs … Ah! I don’t even wanna think about it! You’re too wonderful a dancer, Jongin. Beauty. Pure beauty. It’s a privilege to watch you dance.”

“Watch me dance for you forever, then.” Jongin winked and of course Kyungsoo’s heart hiccupped.

He mentally shook his head. “As if I would try to watch you again. You’re too much!” He frowned, head tilted to the side. “You know, I was resolved to make EXO my bias group and you of course my bias. I wasn’t even into idol stuff, but then Jongdae dragged me to your concert and I watched you all perform and it was just out of this world. Makes perfect sense that you’re from EXOplanet and all that , now that I think about it. Anyway, I saw you dance and I said to myself, ‘Wow! I never thought someone could dance like that.’ I was like, ‘Watch me buy all their albums and watch that man’s videos when I get back home.’” Kyungsoo sighed “I liked you a lot that night. I like you a lot now. You’re very handsome. You have a great personality. It matches mine pretty well, actually. We could be great friends, I think. That night, I would've been thrilled thinking about being this close to you." Kyungsoo slurred most of his words, looking at Jongin with heavy eyes. “But you had the audacity to make me glow when I'm about to get married. And I can’t be your fan. I can’t watch you dance again. Ah, we can’t even be friends after this.” He racked his hair in frustration.

Jongin nodded. “No, we can't.”

“Yeah.”

“Because I make you glow.”

Kyungsoo nodded. “Yeah.”

“And I make your heart flutter too much for a friend. And I make your heart pound. And make you breathless, smile, and laugh, tremble and moan when I kiss you. Tear up. So, we can’t be friends, can we?” Jongin asked to the air. “Good.” He rested his head on the mattress. “I don’t want us to be friends, anyway. I’m not going to pretend to be some dignified person telling you, ‘Oh, I’m happy if you’re happy even if it’s not with me.’ I’ll tell you, ‘Call off your wedding … be with me.’ That’s what I’m going to say.” His eyes were intent on Kyungsoo. “That’s what I’m saying.”

They were silent for the longest time and Kyungsoo could now feel the even rise and fall of Jongin's glowing chest. He’s asleep. Kyungsoo’s shoulder must be comfortable. 

"Okay, Jongin. Okay," Kyungsoo's reply was soft against the top of his soulmate's head.

Kyungsoo left the sleeping Jongin with a kiss on the forehead the next morning.

            ***************************

Had it been any other day, Chanyeol would have thought his and Kyungsoo’s staring contest in the café they frequent comical. The current situation was far from it, though. With just one look, he knew Kyungsoo got his answer.

He tilted his head to the side, smile too bright. “We’re calling off the wedding.”

Kyungsoo’s couldn’t answer his smile and instead gave out a helpless sigh. "I can't marry you like this," he trembled, eyes tearing.

            "Of course.” Chanyeol coughed out the lump forming in his throat. “You know me, Kyungsoo. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy and I don't think I'll ever have your all. You think the same."

            Kyungsoo bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling. "You deserve somebody's all."

            Chanyeol’s smile was tired. "Hell, yes, I do!"

            He was hoping Kyungsoo would be able to hold his tears in like he always did, but it was in vain.

"This is going to be lame, but I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry," Kyungsoo said between sobs.

"AH!” Chanyeol fanned his face to prevent tears from falling. “I'll be fine.” His laugh was flat. “As long as you're happy, Kyungsoo. Even if it's not with me."

            He met Kyungsoo’s eyes and finally, he found it in his heart to give the other a genuine smile which was met by a teary chuckle. He frowned. "What?"

            Kyungsoo sniffed again, smiling slightly while shaking his head. "Nothing."

            Way to make him less curious. Chanyeol flashed an irritated look as if telling Kyungsoo to just out with it.

            The still teary male sighed. "It's ...” He looked at Chanyeol with hesitation and his now ex-fiancé just rolled his eyes. “It’s … Jongin,” Kyungsoo finished, chuckling gently at the memory. “He told me he would never say what you just said. Too dignified for him or something."

            Hearing the story, Chanyeol wondered if it would have been better had he shut his mouth and not asked. He laid his back on the backrest of the chair with force. " that kid!" He spat.

            Kyungsoo eyed him, taking a sip from his long-ignored drink. "Yeah. him." He said with no bite and all hiccup.

            Chanyeol met his eyes. "Why does it have a different feel when you say it?" Chanyeol asked with a look of false innocent curiosity.

Kyungsoo nearly spat his drink.

Chanyeol laughed. It’s strange—two years is never nothing, after all—but he thinks he’s already starting to be okay.

***************************

            It was two weeks after Kyungsoo saw Jongin that he found himself in his apartment with a Jongdae who was on the edge of going ballistic on him.

"What are you still waiting for, Kyungsoo? EXO's back from their overseas concert. Look! It's all over Naver and Twitter. You don't have any excuse not to contact Jongin now." Jongdae looked at Kyungsoo pointedly. "I know you're dying to."

"But what if he won't accept me? Or he's just not interested anymore? We're just together for two weeks, you know. And I didn't even say goodbye to him properly. What if he assumed I really just made him my last fling?"

"You're so frustrating." Jongdae's veins looked like they're about to burst. "You should have said goodbye properly at the very least. For someone who curses at complications on a daily basis, you sure went out of your way to make things more complicated for yourself and Jongin. I mean, how hard could it be to say before you left, 'Hey Jongin, my ultimate soulmate, I'll just meet with Chanyeol real quick and cancel our wedding. I'll see you later.' How hard was that, huh?!"

Kyungsoo cowed at his best friend's outburst. "I just ... it's crazy," he finished helplessly.

Jongdae squinted. "Try me."

Kyungsoo bowed his head and nibbled on his lower lip. "You see, I know I've brought so much mess in Jongin's life because of my situation and indecision that the moment I've finally knew the answer to my question, I wanted to make everything right immediately because I don't want Jongin to spend one more breath being embroiled in the situation I brought him. He doesn't deserve a burden. So I promised myself that the next time Jongin sees me, I will be someone who can give him all the good he deserves and more. I wasn't that kind of person yet at that time so I left when he was still fast asleep." He sighed. "He deserves everything in his life to be blissful and nice and not messy because he's such a beautiful person, Jongdae, you know?"

Jongdae was still eyeing him with irritation when he said, "I know, I know, I'm an EXO-L."

Kyungsoo rested his head on the backrest of the sofa with a heavy sigh. "I’m a Kai akgae."

Despite his irritation, Jongdae chuckled and couldn't help but say, "That's sweet." Ah! His friend really is in love.

A hopeful look appeared in Kyungsoo's face. Did Jongdae really understand?

His best friend rolled his eyes. "You're still stupid for not saying goodbye properly."

Kyungsoo deflated. "I know."

 

Kyungsoo’s feet took him to the neighborhood playground. He was hopping down the mini merry-go-round when a familiar figure entered his line of vision.

Oh no, why was he there? Kyungsoo planned to have this reunion somewhere else. Okay, so he didn’t have a full plan yet, but he was sure it wouldn’t be there. Their track record with playgrounds wasn’t good at all.

“Jongin.”

“Kyungsoo.”

Not hyung. Kyungsoo’s breath hitched. Their eyes met but Jongin was quick to look away. Kyungsoo’s heart sank.

“What are you doing here?” He asked quietly.

Jongin’s reply was an awkward shrug.

Kyungsoo sighed to gain more determination amidst Jongin’s unenthusiastic responses. “H-How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t.”

Kyungsoo’s cheeks reddened at his embarrassing presumption. Why would Jongin care where he was?

“I wasn’t trying to see you, if you’re worried about that.” The bitter laugh that escaped Jongin’s lips stabbed on Kyungsoo’s heart. “I’m just here to, I don’t know, remember maybe? For the last time. So that I can move on properly,” Jongin avoided Kyungsoo’s eyes as he finished. 

“I see.” Kyungsoo nodded.

They were silent as Jongin’s mouth lifted in a humorless smirk. What a predictable reply from Kyungsoo. Jongin didn’t know what he wanted Kyungsoo to say exactly, but he was sure it wasn’t that.

“So …” Jongin began again after a few heartbeats. “Are you leaving anytime soon? Or I’ll just have to go back later?”

Kyungsoo shook his bowed head.

Jongin wanted to shake the man in front of him. He closed his eyes briefly to gain his composure. “Okay, I guess I’ll have to—”

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo’s voice was just above a whisper. “I’m sorry that I put you in a bad situation. I couldn’t—”

 “Stop that!” Jongin thundered. “How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not your fault? You glowed for a man so of course you’re gonna think that he’s the one! Of course you’re gonna want to marry him! So please, don’t say anything if it’ll just bring us back to you saying you’ve made a mess of my life. I brought as much complications to yours as much as you did with mine. It’s better to just say you wish you haven’t met me than that!” Jongin was panting when he finished, eyes hard on Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo took energy from Jongin’s eyes and spoke. “I wish I can say I wish I haven’t met you, but I can't. You made things so complicated and I hate complications, Jongin. So why is it that … you ... I like you? And in just a short period of time, too! Do you know how crazy that is?! It was barely two months that we know each other. We were together for two weeks, Jongin. Two weeks! And you already got my whole heart.” Kyungsoo smiled helplessly. “I know I’m—please give me another chance?”

Jongin swallowed the lump in his throat. "Hyung, I'm an idol--a celebrity. That brings a lot to the table. I'm afraid I'll always bring complications. Schedules, media--things like that.”

"I know."

"And that's okay with you?"

"I can’t say I'm sure I'll always be okay with all of those, but what I'm sure of is I'll always want to be with you. I want to know you and take care of you. Love you and make love with you.” Kyungsoo cried, thinking of the things he had missed to do with the only man he wanted to do them with. He really had become so bad at hiding his emotions ever since he met Jongin. "There are so many things we haven’t talked about yet. Like books. I know you love books. Your room is covered with them. And Japan! We both love Japan. We haven't even gone there together yet." Kyungsoo scrambled for things to say. "And I haven’t even sung to you yet. That’s not fair because you danced for me. You haven’t even heard me sing and I’m a ing good singer, Jongin. Better than that D.O. kid!"

"Oh, yeah?"

Kyungsoo burned under Jongin's intense stare. “Y-yeah. I—I mean I—”  

            Jongin had always loved words. He liked them in books and he liked them more when they came of Kyungsoo’s pretty mouth. He, himself, had endless pretty words for the said male, but they could wait. His Kyungsoo hyung really needed to shut up now. They both had more important things to do. For example, closing that distance between them—Jongin hated being too far apart from Kyungsoo. Another is touching—He's sure his hyung missed driving him crazy with his forever roaming hands. And Jongin, for his part, missed touching Kyungsoo's lips with his own.

            And so he did.

            Their lips and bodies met and molded in an impassioned union, fitting each other perfectly. Like they're soulmates.

***************************

Epilogue

            Going to supermarket had never been as thrilling for Kyungsoo since that day his father found his soulmate there. But three months of being with Jongin changed that. Kyungsoo was having fun at the supermarket again. But fate wasn't done with him yet.

            He was having a mock argument with Jongin over which dishwashing liquid they should buy when they bumped into someone.

            Of course it had to be Chanyeol.

            Chnayeol eyed Kyungsoo, ignoring Jongin completely. "I knew you're here." He grinned.

            Kyungsoo didn't know what to say. "Wha--How?" Kyungsoo ended up asking.

            "I hope you're not stalking, Kyungsoo." Jongin slipped with a bit of threat in his tone.

            Chanyeol laughed bitterly. "What? Like what you did months ago?" 

            "Stop it, you two." Kyungsoo 

intervened.

            "Sorry." Chanyeol muttered, lower lip slightly jutting out. "Anyway, I'm not stalking you or anything," he said, giving Jongin a quick glance. "I knew you're here because if this." He pointed at his chest.

            The silence that followed was more awkward than when Sehun mistook Jeonghan for Johnny.

            Speaking of Sehun, the man himself, who came with Jongin and Kyungsoo because he was so bored at the dorm, approached the trio with a sly smile, unaware of what just transpired.

"Hey, you two! Look what I found! I'm going to gift you with this ..." He trailed, seeing Jongin and Kyungsoo's solemn expression and followed their line of sight. "... lube," he finished, right hand waving his discovery absently as he met the eyes of the tall man standing opposite his friends.

            Jongin and Kyungsoo nearly choked after hearing what their friend said. It was something else that made their eyes pop out of their sockets.

            Sehun was glowing. White, gold, and silver illuminated his chest.

            "What the ," Jongin muttered under his breath which earned him a sassy look from EXO's maknae.           

            With barely a frown, Sehun asked, “Kyungsoo, this is your ex, right?” He pointed at Chanyeol.

            Kyungsoo nodded, mouth agape.

Sehun approached a shocked Chanyeol with his famous flippant style. "Hey, listen! First things first. I. Have. No. Interest. In. Being. Your. Rebound. I'm too precious for that . Let me get that straight." He then scanned the taller man from head to foot. "It’s interesting that you make me glow, though." He said in a tone he would use had he been evaluating a trainee. But was that a crack in his voice towards the end?

Jongin and Kyungsoo, being the intellectuals that they were, left the scene without any noise.

 

***************************

[Dispatchhh] EXO's Sehun spotted in a supermarket--glowing!

            EXO member Oh Sehun was spotted in an obscure supermarket in Seoul with a rather tall private citizen who shared the same color of glow, making Sehun the latest member of EXO to find his soulmate. One strange thing that was noticed about Sehun's glow is that they match not only that of the man he's with in the photo but also that of his bandmate Kai and his soulmate.

 

[+14316] One explanation of this could be the supposedly very rare biological phenomenon called duoconiuctio, where a person affected can glow for two people. Given that the maximum number of people that can have the same color combination of glow is only four, it's obviously neither Sehun nor Kai who's affected by the said phenomenon since they haven't glowed for anyone but the soulmates they're with now. So that leaves us with the two private citizens. If that's the case, could you imagine the mess had they met first just to later glow for EXO members?

                [+200] You're an EXO-L, aren't you?

                [+100] It was indeed a mess. Those two nearly married each other!

[+14314] Waah!!! Sehun's soulmate is taller than him.

[+14312] Antis GO THE AWAY!!! Stop making us look bad! Almost all of us are happy for our maknae. Those who aren't can move to the north.

[+14310] Congratulations to our maknae Sehun!!! He's all grown up now.

[+14308] Oooohhh my grandmother had duowhatsit and glowed for another person just before she married my grandfather. She said it wasn't hard to decide at all because you choose who you love in the end. Dispatch is talking nonsense again.

                [+200] Fascinating. Tell more!

                [+1] I'll dm you.

[+14306] AHH!!! This can't be!!! Did SM confirm it?

                [+200] Yep.

                                [+20] cryingexo-l.gif

[+14304] The glow is taking our oppas one by one. What to do?!!!

[+200] You won, glow sunbaenim. You took us down when we were leading. When we fell down but lead again you did it again. It's you who won. I guess there's no place for fairness in a world full of liars, cheaters and greediness. But that's okay, a lot of us gave up and some didn't.

[+14302] What the ? Why are the upvote numbers like this? Dumb EXO-Ls at it again manipulating things to make it seem like people still care about their oppas.

                [+200] SM paid.

                [+100] Big 3 privilege

[+14300] Thought it's clickbait and they're just gonna talk about his skin.

                [+200] Same.

[+14298] Waahhh!!! Our precious tea egg.

                [+200] Oohh a cherry.

***************************

Note:

*This is a rough English translation of the Tagalog figure of speech ‘taong namamangka sa dalawang ilog.’