Title: Longing to be
Word count: 1,100

 

Kyungsoo finds himself standing in a lavish penthouse way up high where the sun kisses the tops of the clouds and fades away each and every day. When he first steps inside the home, silence greets him but amidst the calming scent of lavender coming from somewhere in a hidden corner, Kyungsoo can hear the distant sound of paws walking on glossy, wooden mahogany floors.

A fine white, long-haired cat rounds the corner of one of the many halls and comes to a stop in front of Kyungsoo. It lets out a friendly meow, pink nose raised up while beautiful, deep blue eyes gaze into Kyungsoo’s wide, brown eyes. 

Kyungsoo bends down to kneel in front of the entrance door just so that his knees kiss the shiny chestnut floors. He caresses the cat's head with his fingers, gently scratching underneath the cat's chin. “Where’s Jongin?” He asks the cat, almost wanting to smile when he sees the cat's tail standing up. 

But the feline looks to the right, straight outside where a wrap-around balcony waits for Kyungsoo. The cat looks back to the boy and meows in affirmation. 

“Jongin’s outside?”

It might have been a trick of the brain but Kyungsoo saw the cat nod at him before turning around to leave his presence. 

Kyungsoo stands up then to fully see where exactly Jongin has been spending his time the past week. The older man has been missing all of his appointments back at the office Kyungsoo works in as Jongin’s assistant. Calls have been made the following days but Jongin has yet to answer any of their phone calls. It’s irritating. It ing hurts because Jongin knows why they are calling but refuses to hear their pity. 

He takes a look at the minimal furniture situated around the large living room. Some are touching the ivory walls and others are facing each other only being separated by a black and white striped rug. All the windows are floor-to-ceiling with white drapes hanging from the chocolate-colored poles. The scenery outside is breath-taking but there is no one to share it with.

Kyungsoo gives the balcony door a longing look before disappearing down the hallway that leads to the bedrooms and bathrooms. He goes to the room located at the far end of the condominium already knowing by the slightly spicy scent hanging in the air that this is Jongin’s room. The bed sheets are a cool gray, Kyungsoo notices, and the pillows are stuffed with pure cotton but never feathers. The walls are devoid of any frames or clocks. Nothing but the color of gloomy days is surrounding him. He knows Jongin picked this color because, with one look at the walls, the older man will want to sleep his days away.

There is a large-sized cardboard box sitting by its lonesome next to Jongin's neatly made bed. Red, black, and teal books are seated inside on top of folded clothes. Some small trinkets and a stuffed animal are also inside. Kyungsoo approaches the box but doesn't dare touch anything. A small note catches his eyes. He reads it.

Kyungsoo leaves the bedroom, never bothering to look inside the closet or restroom. Nothing of significance waits for him, so he leaves, uninterested. He passes right by the other rooms without looking into them. It doesn’t matter because everything is the same. 

Kyungsoo has made it into the kitchen where the counters are made of black granite that matches the rest of the interior of Jongin’s place. A nice cozy basket with a pastel pink blanket is tucked beside the white bookshelves that do not hold any romance novels. Jongin’s cat sleeps there with all the fictional and non-fictional books. He looks away to approach the refrigerator and open it. Two cartons of eggs, four packets of raspberries and blueberries, a bag of butter bread, juice, milk, and water. 

Closing the refrigerator, Kyungsoo steps away and leaves the kitchen. 

He approached the balcony doors, small hand hovering over the handle. Should he open it and approach Jongin with his concerns or should he wait in the living room for the man to come out instead?

Too late because as soon as Kyungsoo slides just an inch of the sliding door, there’s a beeping sound coming from the other side of the place and then silence until Kyungsoo hears feet padding on the floor. He sighs in relief, shutting the door to turn around only to gasp at the sight of Jongin. 

But the older man hasn’t seen him yet. 

There’s a black phone tucked into Jongin’s ear as he walks past the living room looking at nothing in particular while speaking rapidly into the phone. “I already know they’ve been calling but what the hell do you want me to say to them, Chanyeol? I’m embarrassed to even show my face in their meetings!” 

Kyungsoo can hear Chanyeol, his co-worker, and also Jongin’s best friend, argue with a stubborn Jongin who is now sitting on the kitchen island munching on a green apple. 

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember ever seeing one in the refrigerator. 

“They are all going to look at me with pity. Why can’t you understand that? I don’t want to be comforted by all those stuck-up men!”

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, wringing his fingers together as he comes to stand behind Jongin who is sighing heavily, shoulders hunching forward. 

“Kyungsoo wasn’t just my assistant, Yeol, he was my everything. Unless he comes back then everything will be okay. I’ll be able to come back to the office without wanting to leave the moment I step foot inside that god-forsaken place.”

Kyungsoo chews on his bottom lip. 

“Yes, I understand that I can just hire Baekhyun but it won’t help, Yeol.”

‘Why not?’ Kyungsoo wonders. 

“Listen to me, Chanyeol,” Jongin’s voice is bordering impatience and most likely hysterics, “I understand that Baekhyun is fit for the job but I just can’t right now. Please, please understand where I am coming from.” 

Kyungsoo sighs silently as he comes to appear in front of Jongin to which the older man’s breath hitched in his throat the moment his eyes looked up from the black counter. Kyungsoo stares at him with a sad look, maybe. 

“Gotta go, Chan. I’ll see you next week. ... yeah, yeah, I got it. ... okay, goodbye.”

Jongin hangs up and looks down to where Kyungsoo is looking up at him with longing eyes but the only thing Jongin sees is the clock behind Kyungsoo ticking the minutes away.