I always hated coming home to an empty house. the darkness. the quiet, but ever since I met you there's always been a light. even before we were together. I watched you from afar. the way you danced, the way you sang and smiled all the time. even the one time I caught you crying in the bathroom you were still beautiful. perfect. we've been together for what seems so long, is still so little. and these days you are gone weeks at a time. I understand, your career is your life. we call text and even video chat everyday. but it's not the same. its not touching you, feeling your skin, hearing your heartbeat. and those pictures you post on your instagram as secret messages to each other, but right now tonight headed to our darkened house I just want to hold you. to feel you are still with me. it's been so lonely, I've turned to other ways to fight the darkness, wine, cigarettes even trying to look at the most colorful paintings.

Once I got back to our house, I assumed the same lost feelings would still be here and they were. you arent home. you texted saying you would be late. I'm an artist and producer too, but I try to spend time with the ones I love. to touch the ones that care. today of all days I feel so lost. like Im drowning in the void and where are you? gone. late. always late. telling me dont wait up. i'll see you in the morning.  it's going to be a long night. I hate those words. So I sit here in my unusually comfortable chair, wine in my hand, cigarette in my lips and puff til the light fades again. I cant take much more. come back to me. just for tonight, just be my lover, in our bed. give me sweet kisses, touch me all over. you are the only person Ive allowed to touch my whole body. with you my clothes that hold my insecurities seem to fall right off. when our bodies melt into one another thats all I want one more time. like a drug the addiction I want another, then another. anything to help me from that darkness

Just when I want to fade away, to let it all go, I here the key pad sounds, the lock on the door. you made it again, just in time. hold me close, help me fight. shine bright for me. let me see that hope, that faith. That passion in your heart,  kiss me fool. do it now. take me to the bedroom and lets go round and round. you take my wine, my cigarette burning it into the ash. grab my hand and step back. my arms are finally around my Sun, my lips burning with the heat from you. my body lifts your small yet slender stature on mine. I can go more, who needs our bed when we have the couch. who needs a couch when I can stand. take it all. take everything. drain my body until I can breath again. this is why I need you. this is why I love you, Dong Youngbae.