Hongbin’s fingers moved along the edge of the print, eyes pausing on each square for a profound moment before moving to the next. Snapshots. Freezeframes of life. Ravi here, asleep on a couch. Hakyeon there, posing with his middle finger extended. Hyuk, looking flustered in the street. The shift of light on water through the trees. The bustle of a market street. And faces, almost unrecognisable.

He laid the sheet down and sunk his head into his hands instead. He had locked these moments into time. It felt as though it were his fault life had continued moving. The more they wished to grasp the past, the further they got from it.

It had been a week since he had developed the films to negatives. A week of procrastination. A week of excuses and reaching behind him for an escape. There was no back door to the past though. He had what he needed. The only thing to do was move forward.

His eyes flickered over his phone. He willed it to light up, to buzz with a call or message. He prayed it would give him one last saving throw. He hoped that someone would feel his cries and call. The phone stayed still and silent.

With nothing more to hesitate over he picked up the negative sheets and slipped into the darkroom.

Ravi’s knuckles tingled as he knocked, electric blue sizzling along his arm and into his heart. The indigo that crowded him at home seemed to lose all form and float away into the sky when he was here. The colours that replaced it were brighter, clearer than ever before.

The warm wood door swung in and Ken bounced backward into the hall.

“Why are you even knocking?” He chirped, grinning at Ravi as he stepped into the cool. “You interrupted me.”

“Sorry,” Ravi’s smile was peach coloured and coy.

Ken’s hands cupped each cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Forgiven.” His smile grew toothy before he turned away and bounded down the hall. “Hurry up! Lunch is ready!”

Ravi watched him go, the chaotic smears of paint across the hem of the shirt dancing out over his pale legs. With slow movements, trying to soak in the house and energy, Ravi closed the door and slid his shoes off.

The table was already set and Ken was serving when he finally made it down the hall. The forest played backdrop to Ken as he skittered here and there with pots and spoons. Ravi stayed in the doorway, simply watching. Waiting a little as well.

Ken’s eyes flicked up and he offered a bemused smile. Ravi’s own smile spread through him like liquid gold. That was what he had been waiting for. He filed the perfect memory away and pushed off the doorframe.

“Hi,” He said, voice baritone and calm.

“Hi,” Ken’s smile faded from confused to delighted as Ravi came to wrap him in his arms.

“It’s nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too.”

Silence filtered in with the daylight and Ravi gave a soft sigh. Sweet, sparkled gold shifted through to fill him from head to toe. Only when Ken began wriggling slightly did he relinquish his hold and step back.

“Lunch?” Ken asked, eyebrows raised with a question.

“Lunch.” Ravi nodded, taking his seat and waiting for Ken to come and sit with him.

“So,” Ken began between mouthfuls. “I started thinking about what you said. I think I like it.”

Ravi nodded, chewing slowly before he spoke.

“Only… Only if it resonates with you. It’s not my art by Ken. It’s got to be yours.”

Ken nodded, a knowing smile on his face.

“It will be. I… I think I was trying to paint like I used to. Not… how I am now.” His brows crinkled slightly before he spoke again. “It’s infuriating that it took you telling me to see it.”

“We need our connections to one another, we need to see ourselves through others to truly become ourselves.” Ravi mumbled, cheeks darkening the longer he spoke. The words were the truest thing he had ever said, but the art of Real.Eyez were still freshly scabbed and healing from the loss of his mother.

Ken’s glass slipped through his fingers and hit the table with a crack. Both of them started at the sudden break in the peace of the room. It was like a switch had been flicked; where serenity had ruled before was now thick, strange tension. Ravi stared. Ken had gone pale, his lips pressed into a white line.

“Ken?” Ravi stuttered. His liquid gold was blackening. He didn’t know how to respond to this. He didn’t know what to do.

“Ah,” The noise was somewhere between a strangled cry of fear and an apology.

Ravi floundered, his brain thrashing as the blackness enveloped him completely. He needed to say something. Anything.

“Are— are you OK?”

Ken was gripping the edge of the table, eyes blinking as he took a long deep breath.

“That—” Ken stopped, voice cutting short. “That was a quote from Real.Eyez.” He seemed to take a moment to losen his fingers and let the tense set of his shoulders fade.

“I— I was just trying— I just wanted to help?” Ravi was spiralling, he wanted to sink beneath the table and hide his burning face.

“No.” Ken shuddered slightly, breathing once more before scrubbing his face. “You did. It…”

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Ravi began to stand, he wasn’t sure where he was going.

“No. No. Just wait.” Ken raised a hand, it was still shaking slightly. “That was just, honestly, slightly creepy.”

Ravi lingered, wanting desperately to dash out of the door and away from the transparent expression on Ken’s face. Only the deep, liquid eyes held him in place.

“I’m sorry.” Ken sighed and waved a little. “Come back. Please, don’t go. I…”

Ravi hesitated, legs heavy as he moved to sit down again.

“Sorry,” Ken slumped forward a little, resting his elbows on the table. “Sorry.”

Thick, opaque silence followed. Syrupy and heavy as Ken sipped his water and watched Ravi from beneath his lashes.

“I’m sorry too,” Ravi mumbled, the blackness was becoming viscous and tarry. “I shouldn’t have. I should’ve…”

He wanted to groan. How useless he was. What a coward when it came to other people.

Ken gave a soft smile, his eyes melancholy as he stared at Ravi.

“Old habits die hard.”

Ravi scoffed, clenching his eyes and fists at Ken’s words. An excuse for everything.

“No.” Ravi shook his head, eyes coming open with determination. “No. Tell me what happened. Please.”

Ken’s lips pressed together, his arms coming across to hold himself as he gathered words.

“Ravi…”

“Wonshik,” Ravi s