A/N: Hi, readers thank you for the interest so far. I’m hoping to do this story some justice as psychological related things are very important to me. Here’s chapter 2

Joohyun remains seated as she waits for Seungwan to return with any sort of news. She can’t get over how upset Seulgi appeared. It was more than some simple distaste of her being a doctor. Something else has to be going on, but what? She’s more curious than ever. Not only curious she is concerned. As a doctor first, it’s clear the artist does need help from someone. Whether or not it’ll be her remains to be seen.

Joohyun can’t help to look around at the huge house, everything for the most part looks untouched, pristine, as if no one is even living here. It does have the feel of a prison too, a beautiful well kept prison. But nevertheless it’s a prison. The gates alone that surround the home like a fortress, and Seulgi is the warden. The one in charge of keeping herself locked here and others out. The doctor sighs, she wants to go see what’s happening. She tells herself at the moment it’s not wise to do so.

Seungwan does return shortly with an apologetic look on her face.

“Dr. Bae, I am so sorry for what just happened. This was an error on my part. One that I made unintentionally. I also have to apologize on Seul’s behalf, that wasn’t her fault back there.”

“Ms. Son, your friend had such a hostility toward me. It’s not all because I’m a doctor, is it?”

“No.” The blonde shakes her head. “You actually…” Seungwan pauses as she tries to find the correct words.

“What is it?” Joohyun wonders.

“Dr. Bae, you resemble her wife. I mean, I didn’t notice it before and I’m sorry. You really do look so similar to her that it’s upsetting.”

Joohyun can’t hide her shock as her eyes widen. Well, that would have been information Seungwan should have told her. How is she supposed to help when she looks like the artist’s deceased wife.

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes, you do look like her.”

“May I see a photo. There weren’t any of her in public record.”

“No, she was a private citizen. And Seul didn’t want her to deal with the downsides of her fame. Hang on,” Seungwan retrieves a photo album from inside a nearby cabinet. When she opens it, the raven doesn’t know what she was expecting. She definitely wasn’t expecting to see the gorgeous, breathtaking raven in the photo. And she wasn’t thinking it be that close in appearance. Joohyun can barely believe how strong the resemblance is. The woman in the photo could easily be a relative to her.

“And, you didn’t think it would have been a good idea to tell me this? This is more than just a slight resemblance.” The doctor tells her. Seungwan nods in apology.

“I am so sorry about this. I wasn’t even thinking about it at the time. I was only trying to help. Now, I think I just made things worse.”

“May I try to talk to her? I know it isn’t ideal, but I am already here. The least I can do is try to apologize.”

“Um…” The blonde trails off. “I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea.”

“Is she violent?”

“What, no Seul wouldn’t harm anyone.”

“Then it should be fine if I talk to her. If you’re worried stay close by to intervene.”

With that the doctor goes back to the room. The artist is sitting on the floor now, looking quite despondent. Joohyun braces herself as she enters.

“Ms. Kang?”

Seulgi looks up though, with far away eyes as she focuses on the doctor. She looks so much like Taeyeon and it’s freaking her out. It feels like her wife is staring back at her now, although she knows it’s not. Still, it feels like Taeyeon is here just close enough to touch.

“Dr. Bae, right?” She asks. “You have to leave. I already promised I would pay you for your waste of time. I can’t have you here.”

Joohyun nods in understanding. “It’s because I look like your wife?”

“Seungwan told you then.” The brunette sighs. “Yes, you look very much like my wife. And it’s honestly too much for me to even be talking with you.”

“I understand, if I would have known ahead of time that I looked so much like her. I would have declined the case. I would only be making it worse for you. And you need to heal Ms. Kang. Don’t be upset with your friend, she is worried about you.”

Seulgi is once again staring at her. More like she’s looking through her though. It’s like she’s forcing herself to make eye contact with her.

“I’m fine, Seungwan is just always easily worried.”

“You haven’t left your house in 2 years. I don’t think you’re fine Ms. Kang. I am not going to force you to talk to me. I just came to apologize to you for any unintentional upset I caused, and to recommend you talk to someone. You shouldn’t make yourself a prisoner here. I don’t think your wife would want that.”

“You don’t know what she would have wanted!” Seulgi angrily shouts then. “You can’t come here acting like you knew her. You don’t…” She pauses, wiping away at remaining tears. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault you’re here, I shouldn’t be yelling at you in this way.”

Joohyun walks over to her, still leaving some distance between them.

“Your grief is quite profound. And, it’s unhealthy to hold on this way. You need the help whether you wish to see it or not. I should go, I won’t take your friend’s money when I didn’t do anything. Have a good day Ms. Kang.”

Seulgi hears her footsteps as she walks away. She has no idea what comes over here, but she calls out to her.

“Dr. Bae?”

“Yes?”

“Seungwan said you were highly recommended. Is that true?”

“I don’t like to brag, but my record does speak for itself. You can even check it out for yourself if you want to be sure.”

The artist gives a nod. “Come back tomorrow. I will make myself more presentable then, and I know Wan is worried about me. I’ll talk to you so she can feel better. Make sure she pays you.”

This is quite the turn of events. Joohyun was not expecting for this to happen. She needs to be sure that Seulgi is actually understanding how awkward this could be. Not only awkward but it could very well be downright painful.

“Are you sure, Ms. Kang?”

“Seulgi.” She tells her. “Just call me Seulgi, and it’s fine. I know you’re not her..” She trails off and turns away. Joohyun feels like she should say more but has no words at the moment. Instead she walks out the room where Seungwan is nervously waiting.

“I suppose you’ll be paying me after all.” The doctor tells her.

“I can’t believe she agreed. I didn’t expect that to happen, I guess you’ll come back tomorrow?”

“I’m hired aren’t I. We’ll discuss how often I will come here tomorrow. For what it’s worth I will try my best to help her.”

“Thank you Dr. Bae, let me walk you out.” Seungwan offers.

Seulgi gets up from the floor and can hardly believe it herself that she agreed. It won’t be easy at all looking at Dr. Bae and not see her wife. How could she agree to this in the first place. The artist sighs and gets back to her canvas. She doesn’t even remember anymore what she was trying to sketch. Soon enough she hears her best friend.

“Is it safe to come in Seul?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Wan. I know you wanted to help.”

The blonde comes over and hugs her carefully. “I didn’t think of it at first, you know I wouldn’t have hurt you intentionally.”

Seulgi nods and leans into the hug. “Wan, it’s okay. I know you didn’t do this on purpose. She just looks like Tae…”

“I know.” The blonde nods and runs her fingers through her hair. “Maybe she can help you though. She’s a good doctor Seul. I just want you to be well again, that’s all.”

Seulgi does hear what she’s saying, but doesn’t know if what she’s doing is right. Is it really the right thing to do letting Dr. Bae help her? And not be reminded of her wife. She may be a good doctor, but she’d have to be a miracle worker to help this situation.

For Joohyun, she can’t hardly process the entire thing either. If someone would have told her ahead of time she looks like Kang Seulgi’s deceased wife. She would have laughed or thought it was some sort of joke. The fact that she does look like the client’s wife. The same person she is in mourning over. It can go very wrong in many ways. Seulgi could god forbid end up worse. That’s not something she wants. Joohyun has been a doctor long enough to know the signs of when a client/psychiatrist relationship is getting unhealthy. She hopes it doesn’t get to that point.

She saw someone in such pain today. And the healer within her as a doctor, wants to help her. Maybe she can get a glimpse into her life, her mental state and how it is that she can help Seulgi to get to a better mindframe. She has her work cut out for her, but she’s not one to give up when a situation looks hard. She will treat Kang Seulgi as if she was any client, even if it might be a bit harder than she first expected.

That night in bed Seulgi dreams. Sometimes they are nightmares, sometimes she has more pleasant ones. Tonight seems to be a regular dream though. As she sees her wife waiting for her at home like she normally would. Seulgi enters the house to see Taeyeon fumbling away at the guitar strings. She’s been trying to teach her wife to play for what seems like forever now.

“Tae..” Seulgi whispers.

The dark-haired woman looks up with her signature smile, dimple popping out.

“Hi, honey. You’re home...see I’m getting better at this.”

Seulgi smiles and sits besides her. She places her hands over hers. “You still play terribly.”

“Yah! I can banish you to the couch you know.” She laughs, but then kisses the monolid woman’s lips. It takes no time for Seulgi to return her kiss with just as much passion.

“I love you so much.” Seulgi whispers to her softly. Taeyeon blinks and pushes her brown locks back.

“You’re talking like we’re not together, baby.”

Seulgi closes her eyes and wills away her tears. Even her dreams, when they are nice hurt too.

“Seul, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I think I made a huge mistake earlier, and I don’t know what to do. Seungwan is worried about me. I understand, but this woman she looks so much like you Tae. What am I going to do?”

Taeyeon is staring at her with such concern, as she hugs her suddenly. Seulgi melts into the embrace. It’s only a dream, yet it doesn’t even matter at the moment.

“Seul, you have to take care of yourself. You also have to remember, I’m always with you even when I’m not. And it’s more than okay to put your life back together. I have to go okay, but I love you.”

“No, wait please don’t go…”

The dark-haired woman places her hand to her shoulder. “I have to go, baby.”

“No, please Tae…” She begs, but can do nothing except to watch her disappear. When Seulgi wakes up it’s to tears in her eyes and pain in her chest. She still looks on the other side of the bed, that’s cold from the lack of her other half being besides her. The artist touches the bed where Taeyeon used to sleep.

“Tae...were you trying to tell me something.” She wonders. Maybe she was reading too much into it. The brunette turns over to get more sleep, she has to be up for Dr. Bae tomorrow.

They meet in the afternoon. They sit in her home office that Seulgi tells her she hardly ever uses because she’s not so active in the art world at the moment. It feels much like if they were in the clinic, right along with the awkward silence too. The artist is laying down on one of the couches, while she sits in a comfortable recliner. She has to try to get Seulgi talking, otherwise it will be really them sitting in here in silence.

“Seulgi, why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Joohyun begins.

“About me?” Seulgi looks at her. She sounds surprised, as if she wasn’t expecting for Joohyun to ask about her.

“Yes, tell me about Kang Seulgi, the woman. You don’t have to talk about anything you’re not comfortable with at the moment. This is your session.”

“Well, it’s not like you can’t find out enough about me online.”

“This is true, but why don’t you tell me about yourself. Nothing like the words straight from the source. How did you get into art even?”

The monolid woman blinks. She doesn’t know what’s the purpose of telling the doctor about these things. Most of it is really online or in magazines.

“Why don’t you tell me about you, Dr. Bae?”

Joohyun can see it’s a diversion tactic. She hasn’t just become a psychiatrist. She gives a small smile.

“This isn’t about me Seulgi. But, if will help you talk to me. Why don’t we each speak a bit about ourselves.”

“Fine.” The artist nods. “Well, I’m famous artist Kang Seulgi that hasn’t made a single painting in a long time. I live in this huge house alone and I wanted to become an idol when I was younger, but it didn’t work out. My favorite color is yellow.” She adds so randomly that it almost makes Joohyun laugh. She remembers to keep her doctor composure though.

“You wanted to be an idol?”

“Your turn Doctor.” Seulgi says instead. She probably feels as if she has said enough.

“Okay, well my name is Bae Joohyun. I am originally from Daegu, but came to Seoul to study psychology. I always imagined I’d be running some laundry business though when I was younger. And my favorite color is purple.”

Seulgi blinks several times, she wanted to do laundry for a living. It seems like such a stark difference in what she is doing now.

“Laundry?”

“Ah, your turn Seulgi.” Joohyun says to her.

“I don’t have much to say Dr. Bae.”

Joohyun knows that’s untrue. There is always more to say, it’s a matter of if Seulgi wants to talk though. She can’t force the issue as it’s her session.

“Who is your favorite singer? You wanted to be an idol, right?”

“Beyonce. She was and still is my favorite singer. I learned to dance to many of her songs.”

“Oh, you dance as well? It never mentioned that in your biography.”

“I haven’t in….” Seulgi stops. “I haven’t danced in years. I can barely have the energy to draw properly.”

“From what I can tell drawing doesn’t seem like something that can be forced.”

“No, it’s not. It’s just frustrating, I used to just draw without any hesitations. It’s been hard since….” She stops again, and Joohyun knows it’s because they are venturing into territory that Seulgi doesn’t want to talk about. She will have to approach this gently.

“We don’t have to talk about your wife now Seulgi. We can talk about anything you want. Eventually, we will have to try though. You’re grieving still and you can’t start getting better until you face certain topics.”

Seulgi avoids her gaze. It’s difficult looking at her, just as she knew it would be. This is going to be such a mistake.

“Have you seen pictures of her?” Seulgi asks. She is sure that Seungwan had to have shown her.

“I did, and we do look alike. Which is why I’m surprised you even agreed to let me treat you.”

“I read your online reviews from clients. You are as highly recommended as Seungwan told me. And, I know she’s worried about me.”

“She seems to be a good friend. You know what we could do, we could try to get you outside. Even if it’s just to the garden. It’s been two years since you went out, right?”

“Yes.” Seulgi nods. “I just can’t bring myself to want to go out. I don’t want to now either.”

Joohyun nods. “Alright, I won’t force it. We have to take this one step at a time Seulgi. It’s my goal to get you on the way to recovery, but you have to want to get well.”

“I only want one thing and I can’t have it anymore.”
 

Joohyun can’t help to look sympathetic towards her. The artist is so in love with her wife, it’s affecting her right down to the core.

“I’m sorry for your loss. Do you feel comfortable talking about how she died?”

Seulgi looks uncomfortable then, more so than even when they first began the session.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t need then, Seulgi I’m not your enemy here. Seungwan told me that you had some prior difficult experiences with other doctors.”

“They just wanted to give me all sorts of medicine to make me like a zombie. I don’t need drugs, and no I’m not going to kill myself either. I’m sure you have to ask that soon, right?”

Someone with such pain that Seulgi is going through, it’s only logical a doctor would ask to be sure. In fact Joohyun is surprised that Seulgi hasn’t ever been hospitalized at the least for observations.

“Has anyone ever asked you this before?”

“Yeah, they thought after she died I was going to go hurt myself. I mean, I wanted to die with her. I was so miserable I already felt dead anyway. But, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to hurt people by ending my life.”

“Seulgi, I am sorry you felt such pain that you wished to die. That’s why I want to help you. You can’t go on living this way, you’re only hurting yourself.”

Seulgi nods, but she turns away on the couch. “I’m tired Dr. Bae. Can we please end the session now.”

“Yes. I think we made a bit of progress today, at least you spoke to me. If at anytime our sessions become too difficult, please tell me. I can recommend you to some of my colleagues. I would like to see you on a weekly basis if that’s alright for now?”

“Is that how often you see your patients, Dr. Bae?”

“It depends on the severity of the case.”

“And I’m a severe case, I guess.”

“Your particular case would be considered severe, I’m going to go. It was nice talking with you Seulgi. I’ll see you next week.”

“Dr. Bae wait,”

“Yes?” Joohyun turns when she hears Seulgi call out to her.

“Make sure Seungwan compensates you for any extra expenses. You are going out of your way to travel here. So, talk to her and she will take care of it.”

“Really, there is no need for that. Your friend has already paid me more than what I would normally charge.”

“I’m not a regular client. And you are going out of your way, it’s only fair that you be paid for this.” She tells her without looking at her. And then she turns completely back around. Joohyun is surprised that Seulgi spoke to her at all. She does know it might be a long time before she can look at her and feel comfortable. One thing for sure though, as she said Kang Seulgi is not like any of her regular clients. Far from it.

A/N: I’m done with chapter 2. If there is still interest with this fic, I will update it as I can.