So far, this break has been absolutely fantastic. Hyungwon manages to go through full hours without thinking of a certain upperclassman! His parents help keep him busy once he's done with all of his exploring, and he's even gone with them on family tours. You know, the ones all tourists take. It's the best! Really, you haven't had a day until you've watched some scummy little twerp slap his grimy hands around everything in a set of historical ruins. 

When Hyungwon gets back from that excursion, he literally wants to die. 

He throws himself onto his bed with a loud groan, frustration ebbing through him in waves. Who does that?? And Hyungwon saw him picking at his nose, too... Now, that kid's snot is going to be on an ancient... whatever that was. God, he was so upset with the kid he hadn't even bothered listening to the tour guide!  

He guesses he'll just have to go back on his own some other time. It isn't as if he doesn't have the time... 

Hyungwon goes to check his phone, doing his best to remain unaffected by the zero notifications that he has. His friends have lives, he gets it. They all have boyfriends now, so... 

Maybe I should call him, Hyungwon silently muses, thumb hovering over his screen. No, that's stupid... It's only been a couple weeks. I'm sure the others are keeping him so busy, that time is just flying by. I don't want to be a drag on his fun by reminding him of... well... me. 

The boy sighs heavily, tossing his phone aside for now and glancing up instead at the small stuffed hamster beside his mattress. It's the only thing he's bought while here so far, and the only reason he got it was because it had reminded him of a certain hyung... 

"You've had pink hair before??" Hyungwon had asked that day, wholly flabbergasted. Kihyun had snickered under his breath, nodding at the younger. They had been going through old photo albums, as Kihyun was one of those to keep meticulous record of everything via photos, and they'd gotten to The Pink Year. 

"I lost a bet with Jooheonney in freshman year," Kihyun had gone on to explain, "so I had to dye my hair whatever color he said to. He suggested pink, saying he thought it'd look cute, and next thing I knew I was at a salon. It turned out to suit me very well, so I kept it for a while. But, I eventually let it fade out and it went back to black." 

"You look so cute~" Hyungwon had cooed, only halfly teasing as he pointed to a picture of the older boy, pink hair and chubby cheeks. There was a carrot poking out from between his lips, and his cheeks were stuffed as if he was eating. "Like a little pink hamster~" 

"Yah, yah!" Kihyun had chuckles, poking at Hyungwon's arm in protest. "I'm still your hyung, whether I'm cute or not!" 

"You're always cute, Kihyunnie-hyung~" Hyungwon went on to compliment leaning over to hug the boy. Kihyun sighed, instantly going to pet his hair. 

"Okay, fine, I'll make dinner tonight. Happy?" 

Hyungwon laughs fondly at the memory, his eyes falling shut as he can still feel the older's fingers running through his dyed locks. He reaches for his phone again, but stops his own hand at the last second. He looks over to the hamster again, a dull ache filling him. God, he wants so badly to speak with Kihyun, even if only for a minute... But, Kihyun surely hates him by now. 

At least that takes care of the whole love issue, Hyungwon thinks sardonically. He smirks ruefully, yet doesn't feel all that amused with himself.  

Love... Is this love? Is love liking everything about a certain someone, even his annoying nagging and that crazy way he cleans when he's upset? Is it love when his smile lights up your entire world, and his laugh can make you feel better no matter how awful your mood?  

Is it love when you don't feel completely alive anymore without him around? 

I'm such a ing idiot, Hyungwon thinks, groaning as he wipes his face in dismay. He turns over, staring up at his ceiling but only seeing Kihyun's beautiful face. He just wants to see him, to hear his voice... Anything. 

But... what if Kihyun's already moved on? What if the older has realized he didn't really care about Hyungwon all that much, that he didn't want to wait for Hyungwon to come back?? What if he's found someone else and is happier than ever???  

He haphazardly grabs for his phone then, panic setting in at the mere thought of Kihyun being on a date with someone right now. 

He has to call the one person that would tell him for sure without actually having to ask Kihyun himself. 

A loud ringing suddenly blares through the air, causing a certain boy to groan in pain. His head feels like someone's taken the biggest earthenware pot in the history of earthenware pots to his head and smacked him repeatedly with it. His throat burns, and his entire body feels like absolute . 

Kihyun turns on his other side, burying his face in the sheets as he fights off the curse that is being awake while also being hungover. 

"Hello?" a voice says softly. It sounds like Jooheon, but Kihyun can't be too sure. Nausea is turning all reasoning abilities to jello. 

Ugh, jello... 

"What? Hyung, no, he isn't dating anyone... Yes, I'm sure. I've hung out with him enough since you've left to be able to tell if he was... Hyungwon, I promise, Kihyun isn't going out with anyone right now." 

Kihyun goes rigid, all symptoms of a hangover gone in an instant. 

"If you're so worried about it, why don't you, you know, call him? He wouldn't mind, I'm sure of—No, it's fine, he's asleep... Well, Minhyuk-hyung had a party last night, and—OH MY GOD CAN I FINISH A SENTENCE??" There's a pause, and Kihyun can feel Jooheon shifting on the mattress to make sure he's still asleep. Kihyun screws his eyes shut, parting his lips slightly and slowing his breath. 

He can fake-sleep with the best of em. 

"Minhyuk-hyung had a party last night, and Kihyunnie-hyung got pretty hammered... Why do you think???? ... Okay, I have to go. Yes, I swear that he isn't dating anyone. God, next time call him yourself, okay?? He's probably better at dealing with your freak-outs than I am... Bye, hyung." 

Jooheon releases a long exhale then, and Kihyun can hear him set his phone down. 

"Hyung, I've slept over at your place enough to know when you're actually sleeping and when you're faking," Jooheon says bluntly, sounding absolutely exhausted. Kihyun forces out a small chuckle, turning on his other side to face his dongsaeng. Jooheon's smirking at him, a brow quirked up promptingly. "How much did you hear?" 

"All of it," Kihyun admits immediately, his voice coming out scratchier than usual. "So... he's worried that I've moved on?" 

"Seems like it," Jooheon sighs. "He honestly sounded pretty panicked... Maybe... Maybe this is a sign that, you know, he's willing to talk now?" 

"I'm not settling what's wrong with us over the phone," Kihyun grumbles stubbornly, turning back again to tell Jooheon he's done with this conversation. Kihyun can practically hear Jooheon open his mouth again when he adds, "And I'm not calling him, either! If he wants less space, he can call me. He's the one that wanted all this damn space to begin with, so let him adjust it as need be." 

"… Okay, hyung," Jooheon relents after a moment's pause. The mattress shifts again as Jooheon stands. "I'm going to see who all else stayed the night and is awake. It's already the afternoon... Maybe we can all go out for some grub or something, okay?" Kihyun hums in reply, slowly beginning to sit up. He watches Jooheon leave the room, though his mind is definitely not processing what the younger has just said. 

Wonnie's... worried I'm dating someone else... he thinks slowly. He's... actually worried I've moved on?? What the hell??? I'm the one that's said that I love him, for Pete's sake!!! If either of us should be worried, it should be me!!! What if he meets someone else while in Japan?? What if there's a cute barista, or tour guide??? Oh god, there's totally gonna be a cute barista! And a tour guide!!!  

Kihyun groans loudly, throwing his head back to glare at the ceiling. 

Despite how much he tries to shove such thoughts out of his mind, he can't help but imagine Hyungwon flirting with a barista in an adorable little Starbucks on a street corner... and it absolutely pisses him off.