Under the Christmas Tree

Daehyun/Youngjae

Breath fogged up Youngjae’s circle-rimmed glasses as he huddled further into his red scarf. He left a trail of footsteps in the snow as he paced towards his bakery. From afar, he could see the canopy over his bakery was cloaked with a thin layer of white. It was 5AM, the streets quiet with nothing but snowfall to accompany him. He liked this time where it was morning but night at the same time.

Youngjae’s feet sank deeper into the snow and he treaded carefully. Even if the 7 o’clock sunshine would come, Youngjae was sure it would not melt away the snow. He figured the sun probably didn’t want to, anyway. After all, the children loved the snow, scampering around on the sidewalk as they shovelled snow into all sorts of figures.

The small town would be waking to a bustling and lively day, for it was Christmas. Children would be opening their presents under their Christmas trees while parents scuttle around the kitchen. Everyone would be celebrating Christmas, and so would Youngjae—after he finished the two tasks he came down to his bakery for.

Youngjae fluttered his lashes tiredly. He had came extra early yesterday to start baking so his staff could leave early from their half-day shifts, and to meet the demands of the festive season.

Even though Youngjae found himself utterly worn-out during such celebratory periods, Youngjae loved his job as a baker. He loved melting into the scent of butter pastry and caramel cookies, the burst of heat from the oven as he took out his fresh cupcakes. There was an inexplicable wonder in carefully decorating each and every creation of his with frosting and glitter, the crisp crackle of a warm baguette, his fingers smeared with batter. Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, top it off with some cinnamon or honey and some sprinkles—oh, Youngjae was very much in love with how the flavours bloomed within his cakes.

There was so much fun in the kitchen as well. Jongup and Junhong were the best baking assistants he could ask for, but Sora said he was much too nice to those troublemakers. There were a small family of four enough to feed a modest town. Through the tiresome early mornings cleaning and kneading dough and break times with coffee and laughter, Youngjae became close to the three of them.

But most of all, Youngjae loved the delight in his customers’ eyes. It filled him with all the joy in the world to see the children light up in awe, squealing over the little caricatures on their birthday cakes or bite excitedly into their eclairs. Youngjae loved giving happiness where he could, so he worked on every confectionary as if he was giving it to a loved one.

Youngjae checked the time and hastened his pace. He was far from late but he wanted to finish baking sooner. That would mean he could open the shop earlier, so customers could get their treats early. Today, Youngjae would be giving out cookies as a Christmas gift to the little town he loved. The last time he had done this was during Easter, making chocolate eggs for the children to take home.

In any case, Youngjae usually tried to open the shop earlier during this winter season. Many took shelter from the cold in his bakery which was always warm and toasty, enjoying breakfast with their families here.

There was another place that people took shelter in from the cold. Right opposite Youngjae’s bakery across the street was a florist. The owner of the shop had moved in a year ago and his name was Daehyun. He was loved by many in their town for his kind heart, letting those who wanted warmth stay in his shop for a cup of coffee, no charge. For Valentine’s day this year, Daehyun had given out flowers to all. He said it was good to be happy and in love, but it was also good to be happy and alone.

For childish Youngjae who secretly wondered where his Prince Charming was in the midst of so many love stories, Youngjae held the words close to his heart. He had noticed Daehyun from the first day he set up his store—it was hard not to with how Daehyun smiled so radiantly as if he brought along some of the sunshine from his hometown.

It was difficult not to like Daehyun as well with how nice he was. He lived alone like Youngjae did but he made friends quickly. He would greet his patrons with a wide grin and play with the children that passed by. One of the elderly women in their town once told him it was her wedding anniversary, her late husband having passed a few years ago, and Daehyun gave her a lovely bouquet that was just like her wedding bouquet.

As Youngjae reached his bakery, he glanced over to the flower shop. Youngjae burrowed his face into his scarf and quickly unlocked his door, rushing in. Feeling a little safer in the confines of his shop, Youngjae untied his scarf and let out a sigh. Now that it was winter, Daehyun kept most of his flowers in his greenhouse which left a lack of colours along the sidewalk. But he grew new ones that thrived in winter—snowdrops, flowering quinces and witch hazels. Youngjae adored the burst of fire red, sunny yellow and paper white amidst the healthy green, admiring the scenery sometimes as he worked.

Another reason Youngjae oft looked out the window was because of the florist himself. On one side of his kitchen was a glass window where the decorating table stood. While he decorated the cakes or baked, he would peer at the shop opposite the street at times. Likewise, when the day was slow and he was in the front resting or helping Sora, he would watch Daehyun at work.

It always put Youngjae at peace to see Daehyun go around taking care of his flowers. He bestowed them with love, arranging them meticulously for the next lovesick man to bring home to his wife. For a man so brawny he treated his flowers with care, tending to them like they were his lover. Sometimes, he would smile while he watered his flowers, and it made Youngjae giggle to himself. And ever so often, Daehyun would look up as well to stare at the bakery.

Least to say, Youngjae admired Daehyun for his heart of gold. When treated kindly, people pass on the kindness, but there always has to be one person who treats others kindly first to start the chain.

It was months ago that Youngjae realised he no longer found a sense of tranquillity from watching the florist. Instead, his heart would swell as Daehyun gave flowers to the children. Youngjae’s cheeks began to blush whenever Daehyun looked back at him. Even the littlest things like how he pruned his flowers made his fingers curl.

Youngjae was a little in love with the tanned man across the street. As months went by, a little became somewhat, and somewhat became a lot. There was no turning back as Youngjae delved into the flavour of chocolate and caramel, of hazelnut and blackforest. He saw Daehyun mostly from afar, but there were times he got to see Daehyun up close.

Daehyun visited the bakery sometimes, mainly to get breakfast in the morning when Youngjae was busy in the kitchen. True to his reputation, he was friendly and warm to Sora who manned the cashier. With Youngjae’s poor stealth, he’d peek at Daehyun only to be swiftly caught.

There were instances where Daehyun came in the afternoon for a break, though they were rare. That was when Youngjae sometimes manned the counter, and Youngjae’s heart would still upon seeing Daehyun right in front of him. From those chances Youngjae learnt Daehyun was taller than him and had a mole by his left eye. His hands seemed rough and his cheeks were a tiny bit droopy when he didn’t smile.

Sadly, Daehyun never once struck up a conversation with him like he frequently did with Sora. Youngjae supposed he might have been weary after a long day or he was in a rush to get back to the shop. Maybe Daehyun just wasn’t interested in making friends with or talking to him.He even worried his own face might have seemed unfriendly, only to be told by his staff he looked like a baby.

Putting on his apron, Youngjae took in a deep breath. First, he would start with the Christmas cake for Daehyun. Then, he would bake the cookies. Youngjae had been agonising over whether to get a gift for Daehyun, not sure what to give a man who received many nice gifts from the girls in town. Moreover, he wanted to be anonymous. It would be weird to let Daehyun know that he liked him when they have only spoken a few times.

In the end, Youngjae decided on his forte—cakes. He knew what Daehyun liked as he often got a red velvet cake when he visited the bakery in the morning. He would leave it at the doorstep of the flower shop early in the morning where no one would be awake to see it. Originally, he had planned on giving cookies, but since he would be leaving the gift outside he figured the cookies would get cold.

He got to work, slowly mixing in the ingredients for a red velvet cake. He sieved the flour into the mixture and whipped. As he left it to bake in the oven, he started on the cookies, making the cookie dough and plopping them onto the tray in small mounds.

After the cake was done he iced the cake, putting some blueberries and strawberries between the stacked layers. Pleased with the smoothened frosting, he lined the bottom circumference with red sugar and drizzled chocolate ganache over it. For a final touch, he placed a gingerbread man cookie on the top along with a red chocolate heart. He flushed as he placed a few more mini hearts along the side and wondered if he was overdoing it—he would be in huge trouble if Daehyun found out his identity. Then again, if Daehyun ever asked, Youngjae could simply say someone ordered the cake from him.

Youngjae placed the cake in the fridge, baking more batches of cookies. He looked out of the window to see the flower shop still drenched in darkness. He expected it, since today was Christmas. For the past month, Daehyun often came a lot earlier than he was supposed to, around 5AM despite opening his shop at 8AM. Youngjae assumed he was doing things that florist should do, so he never questioned it when he chanced upon Daehyun on the other side of the lonely streets.

Youngjae got the cake, smiling widely at it. He wrapped it in a plain red box and wrote on a card in capital letters: FOR JUNG DAEHYUN.

Youngjae took out a pretty piece of paper and mulled for a long moment, fussing over his choice of words.

Dear Daehyun,

Ever since you’ve moved here, you’ve been nothing but kind towards everyone. I really admire you for always giving without expecting anything in return and I want to be like you. Your flowers are as lovely as your heart. I always see you taking care of them with so much love and it makes me smile every day.

Youngjae hesitated. He wasn’t good with words, being the soft-spoken person he was. Sora was always better at writing cards.

Since a few months ago, I’ve liked you. It always makes my heart warm to see the things you do. When I’m tired, watching you gives me strength to work hard. I’m always happy to see you even though I rarely ever get to speak to you. I hope I can return the happiness you’ve given me with this gift.

Merry Christmas! Keep warm and wear lots of clothes.

Youngjae embarrassedly finished off and tucked the letter under the bow. He fretted, unsure if he should leave out his confession and if it was too short or even too long. What if Daehyun didn’t like the cake in the first place? Maybe he already had one at home to celebrate.

Youngjae clenched his fists in determination, taking the box and scuttling to the door. He had already went this far; he might as well see the whole thing through. Daehyun could give the cake away if he wasn’t able to finish it.

Youngjae wore his jacket. He turned off the lights in his bakery and buried his face in his woollen scarf, afraid some onlooker may gaze out and notice him. Despite his burst of confidence from before, Youngjae still paced around in a small alley near the bakery, trying to soothe his worries. The worst-case scenario was that Daehyun may fling the cake into his face upon finding out who gave him the cake.

Youngjae stilled but quickly slapped himself. Daehyun wasn’t that kind of person. He was being silly—Daehyun would likely not know that Youngjae left the cake behind, nobody being awake at this hour.

Inhaling deeply, Youngjae pulled up his hood and hid his face behind his scarf. He hugged the box and crossed the road. He scurried to the front of Daehyun’s flower shop and placed down the cake box on the doorstep.

Youngjae’s cheeks tickled with heat. He hoped Daehyun would like it, taking one last glance at the cake box. A wide grin spread across his face as warmth, imagining the surprise on Daehyun’s face. He hastily wiped away the notion, reminding himself that his gift would probably be one of many for a man like Daehyun.

As Youngjae turned around, he widened his eyes upon seeing a man on the other side of the road. He was standing right in front of the bakery, probably stopping to smell the fresh cookies. Youngjae didn’t know someone was out taking a stroll. What if they had seen him?

Youngjae’s heart palpitated nervously. Maybe he didn’t notice Youngjae at all since it was dark and there were flowers all around the front of Daehyun’s shop to block Youngjae’s crouched figure. Well, even if he had seen Youngjae at the flower shop, he came from the other side so he likely only saw Youngjae’s back.

Youngjae would just have to keep his identity a secret. Youngjae covered his face more with his scarf and lowered his head. 

Just then, the man turned around. Youngjae couldn’t tell who the man was as he was wearing a mask and had his hood over his head. It did not matter. Youngjae looked away and hastily crossed the road, pretending nothing was amiss. It seemed the man was in a rush as well, breezing past Youngjae.

Youngjae aimed to walk past his bakery, not wanting the man to know he worked at the bakery. However, he noticed something at the doorstep.

It was a basket of flowers with a white teddy bear beside it. Youngjae stopped, crouching down in surprise. He peered at the assortment of flowers—soft purple, snowy white, gentle pink. He knew the name of the white flowers: Gardenias. Picking up the card attached, he gingerly flipped it open.

To Youngjae,

When I first learnt that the town nicknamed you ‘fairy’, I thought it was because you were pretty. You look like apple blossoms: soft, small and delicate. It was later that I realised you were named that because of your daisy-like heart.

Thank you for making me happy. Seeing you do what you love grows flowers in my heart. Even in such a cold winter you still paint Spring wherever you go with how loving you are. I wish I had more courage to talk to you instead of leaving a present for you like this. Have a merry Christmas, Youngjae. Please always be happy.

Youngjae spun around. The man from before was on the opposite side of the street in front of the flower shop, gazing at him with the cake box in his arms. His eyes were large and he promptly tugged off his hood and his mask.

Youngjae’s breath caught in his throat. Daehyun darted across the road and came face-to-face with him, both staring at each other wordlessly.

As Youngjae parted his mouth to churn out at least something, Daehyun blurted, “I like you too.”

Youngjae blinked. Daehyun his lips and breathed, “I’ve… liked you since months ago, too.”

“O-Oh,” Youngjae whispered, cheeks flushing a cherry red. He could feel his heart burst with elation from the sudden confession, his head reeling from how this all came to happen. Daehyun was the one who left the basket here. By some miraculous coincidence, Daehyun had decided to drop his gift at the same time as Youngjae. They’d both decided to give Christmas gifts to each other anonymously.

Youngjae curled his fingers in shyness. “I… I never thought you’d like me back. You barely talked to me at the bakery but… Sora...”

“No, no, it’s because I was nervous,” Daehyun quickly explained, looking at Youngjae before averting his gaze. “You’re… a lot more beautiful up close.”

Youngjae swallowed. His face was close to burning. “Oh…”

“I never thought you’d like me back, too,” Daehyun chuckled awkwardly. “Every time I looked at you, you’d turn away.”

“No! I didn’t want you to catch me looking at you…” Youngjae bashfully mumbled.

Daehyun nodded slowly, blinking a few times as he looked around to avoid Youngjae’s eyes. “I, uh, thought you were looking at the flowers. So I planted those winter flowers for you.” He gestured flimsily to the array of blooms outside his store.

“Oh, thank you,” Youngjae whispered. “I like both the flowers and, um, you.”

“Oh.”

Quietness simmered over the two as they continue staring at the floor, eyes flickering up every now and then. Youngjae’s heart was pounding against his chest and he felt dizzy from happiness and disbelief. All this time he assumed Daehyun barely even knew he existed.

The silence became overwhelming. Both of them were itching to say something but neither could find it the right words.

Eventually, they managed to look each other in the eyes. Youngjae fluttered his lashes and somehow, a smile found its way over his lips. He let out a soft laugh.

“It’s funny,” he wheezed. “That I liked you and all this time… you liked me.”

“It is,” Daehyun melted into a warm laugh that reminded Youngjae of hot chocolate. They fell back into the silence, squirming here and there. Youngjae played with his fingers nervously.

Eventually, Youngjae asked, “Um, do you want to come inside for some cookies? I just baked them.”

Daehyun’s eyes lit up like a puppy. “Yes, I’d love to,” he spouted.

Snow fell outside as the two talked shyly over their cups of milk and cookies. As morning drifted with a splash of rosy pink over the sunrise, Daehyun left with a skip in his steps towards his store. He still had the Christmas cake kept intact in the box, as he and Youngjae would be sharing it together—tonight.

wrote this up quickly to celebrate christmas *＜(´・ω・)っ由 nyehe

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS