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“So, I heard the dating ban has been lifted. Is there a member who’s currently dating or is interested in doing so?” The interviewer finally asked the question that Jinyoung has been dreading.

He can no longer count how many times he’s heard that type of question in the past 3 years since he debuted as a member of Got7. They’re trained to answer as vaguely as possible and quickly divert to a more trivial topic. It didn’t use to bother him, but now it’s starting to get under his skin. He hates lying to their fans, but he can’t risk exposing himself and possibly put his team in a tight situation. He’ll just keep his head down and pretend he didn’t hear anything.

But of course, that never worked. The members, including their leader (who’s supposed to be the first one to handle these questions, mind you), promptly turned to him. He’s the one that often gives eloquent and deliberate answers, so the rest eventually appointed him as the spokesperson for any questions related to dating or romance.

The interviewer is now looking at him expectantly. “Oh yeah Jinyoung-ssi! I was listening to your self-composed song earlier and I must say, the lyrics are a bit romantic for someone who’s single. Are you perhaps in love with someone?”

“No!”

He didn’t mean to shout, but his heart is beating so fast that it feels like it’s going to burst, revealing everything he’s hiding. He’s not ready to face the irreparable damage it’ll surely cause and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready.

“I mean...of course not,” he said a lot calmer this time. “Love songs doesn’t always have to be about a girlfriend. There are other kinds of love too.” The forbidden kind.

“Ah. Like an idol’s love for his fans?” He nodded and thankfully, the interviewer was pleased with his reply. Jackson expertly took over the conversation as he recalled a funny encounter he had with a fan.

Jinyoung released a breath he didn’t know he was holding the entire time. He got away with it for now, but until when? Won’t his heart ultimately get tired and surrender to these overwhelming emotions? He feels another looming headache, so he just shut those thoughts down like they never existed.

He turned to his side and met Mark’s gaze. For a second, Mark seemed taken back as if he didn’t expect Jinyoung to look at him, but smiled soon after. He could only smile in return.

Yes. This is how it should be. You and Mark are friends; brothers even. Why complicate it?

Mark held out his hand and Jinyoung instinctively grabbed it.

He was too busy ignoring the dull ache in his chest that he didn’t notice a pair of eyes watching them from the side.

—

Jinyoung doesn’t know when it happened—the moment he started to look at Mark as more than just his friend and bandmate. When Got7 debuted, the company told them that they’d have to do skinship and fanservice from time to time. They’d seen their seniors do it and the fans seem to love it, so they agreed (albeit a bit enthusiastically on Jackson’s side and somewhat reluctantly in Jaebum’s case). They’re close to each other, so it didn’t take them long to get used to it. From an arm around the shoulder to kisses on the cheek, they’d done it all. It never really bothered Jinyoung since he’s a clingy person to begin with, so it was like second nature to him.

But then, somewhere along the line he began feeling something for someone. At first, he thought it was just the excitement of the fans getting to him. That the soaring in his heart whenever Mark picks him to date is because of the fans’ screams and not because Mark chose him when he could’ve gone for the others. For a while, he managed to convince himself that the reason he’s annoyed every time another member clings to Mark is because someone is stealing his role as Mark’s best friend, not because he wants to be the only one to touch him like that.

It all confused him. Jinyoung is not used to feeling like this. He has always abided by the rules and his parent’s commands. He tried to live his life according to what is right and acceptable. He has worked hard to maintain a perfect image for his family, the fans, and society. He was always the mind over heart type of person.

So, why?

Why can’t he stop falling for Mark? Mark who happens to be a guy. 

Dating someone of the opposite is difficult enough for idols, why did he have to develop feelings for another man? Does the universe have a vendetta against him or something?

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Jinyoung held out his palm.

“I don’t actually have a penny hyung.” Youngjae laughed and plopped down next to him, holding Coco snuggly in his arms. Coco instantly moved to his lap and Jinyoung’s leg.

He petted the dog’s head. Jinyoung felt like a horrible person. Here’s this fluffy ball of sunshine cuddling with him, unaware of the ill thoughts Jinyoung used to have of him. God, even an innocent animal wasn’t safe from his bitterness. But, then again, jealousy isn’t known to be rational.

“What got you so serious hyung?” Youngjae poked his cheek. “Not that you were much fun before.”

“Did you visit just to insult me? Because Yugyeom’s done that already.”

“Wait, where is he?”

“Dead and gone.”

Youngjae playfully shoved him. “Ey, you know you love him.”

“Debatable,” Jinyoung said with a wink.

“Stop distracting me! What were you thinking about earlier?”

“Life.”

“Very helpful. Ha ha,” Youngjae deadpanned.

Jinyoung waved a hand dismissively. “It’s not something you have to worry about. Grown up stuff and all that jazz.”

“Hey! I’m a big boy who think about deep things too.”

“Oh yeah? Like?”

Youngjae turned to him excitedly. “Like science and the sort. In fact, I’ve been watching documentaries about parallel universes!”

“Which side of the internet were you on again?”

“Hyung,” the younger whined. “I’m serious! The concept of a multiverse, the idea that somewhere in the universe there’s someone else that looks exactly like us. Isn’t that interesting?”

Jinyoung decided to humor him. It’s not every day that Youngjae talks about anything other than music, games, and Coco.

“Sure. What else do you know about it?”

“Not much yet. There’s not a lot of solid evidence supporting it, but I think it’s real. Don’t you think so?”

Jinyoung considered for a moment. It’s an idea straight out of a science fiction, but it does sound amazing. He’d like to think that there’s a universe out there that’s less cruel. Somewhere where Jinyoung is free to be who he wants and be with whoever he loves. “It’d be awesome if it was.”

“Right?” Youngjae replied as he got up and grabbed Coco. “I’d like to meet another Jinyoung. Maybe he’s more fun.”

“Why you-“

Youngjae ran to the kitchen screaming, “Mark hyung, help! I’m too young to die.”

Jinyoung found him hiding behind Mark who was setting up the table.

“Perfect timing. The ramen’s ready. Here’s yours Jinyoungie.” He handed Jinyoung a bowl.

“T-thanks.”

“Where’s mine?” Youngjae protested.

“Sorry. I only made enough for me and Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung stuck out his tongue and began eating.

Youngjae stood there for a few seconds glaring at them until he finally stalked away.

“Jinyoung and Mark 2.0 wouldn’t treat me this way!” They heard him shout from the hallway.

The two simply laughed, oblivious to what those words will mean in the coming days.