Tears rolling down the cheeks, he had no control over them. He tried not to cry because his eyes were aching due to excessive crying. With swollen eyes, he finally decided or should I say tried to sleep. He closed his eyes but quickly reopened them because it even hurts when they are closed. He gave up, exploding all of the emotions through his eyes again. Emotions that were filled with fear, fear of losing the one he loved the most. He feared that his fear is gradually becoming a reality, distancing him from his love.

And once again he repeated his monotonous routine of thinking, whether or whether not to tell his true feelings to him. Making him confused all over again.

"Should i tell him that i love him.... not in a friendly way.. differently", hongbin talked to himself as he doesn't have any friend beside taekwoon to talk to. And he definitely can't talk about this with taekwoon.

"I lost my chance.. I can't tell him about my feelings now, a night before his marriage"

"What would be his reaction?"

"what if...." hongbin while forcing his brain to think of counter thoughts.

"I am sure he will reject me.. and then" hongbin felt like crying even while thinking what could happen.

"I will be left with nothing" hongbin said while trying to hold water from pouring through his eyes.

"no i can't.. i mean i shouldn't tell him how i feel about him.. never ever..." hongbin said because he won't be able to turn back the clocks. leaving him with nothing... not even having taekwoon as a friend.

"ugh.. what should i do?", hongbin said while pulling is hair...with intention of not leaving any on his head. 

"But i can't see him with anyone else.. Even if i try to.." Hongbin said while sobbing in between.

1 week ago:

Taekwoon had to go for wedding shopping with Yeona so he asked hongbin to come along. Hongbin on the other hand tried to oppose this idea of taekwoon.. But taekwoon forced him to go with them for shopping.. So here hongbin was with the couple having feelings of an unwanted person..

"Don't don't.. Don't touch him..Stay away from him.. He is not yours yet..Aish.. How dare you? Move that hand right now.. Or else" hongbin said in his mind angrily hating the fact that Yeona was being extremely clingy towards taekwoon.

"Is he ignoring me? I don't think he even remembers that i am with them.. Taekwoon..you *** ** * *****.. You better turn around or else you will die from my hands today.. Why you ing asked me to come along when you were going to ignore me like this ?" Hongbin said in his mind, fuming at the fact that taekwoon wasn't paying attention to him.

"Wow.. Siriously?? They left me behind.. Why are they walking so fast?? are they trying to run away from me? Oh... So they are trying to get rid of me.. I never knew i would have to see a day like this in my life.. With this handsome face, I am a third-wheel.. "

And then taekwoon turned around.

"Why are you so behind? Walk fast will you?" Taekwoon asked hongbin

"Because you are ing leaving me behind!!!" Hongbin said in his mind

"Because i am a bit tired.. You guys can carry on.. I am following you two" hongbin said ignoring what he really wanted to say.

" ***** **** ********** ********* **** **** ***** *** ** * ***** ***** **** ***** ********* ***** **** " and then hongbin said all the swear words that existed in his dictionary to Yeona because he was touching his taekwoon, obviously in his mind.

Few moments later, He started looking at clothes to distract himself from those two...but when he turned to look at them he saw that taekwoon and Yeona were holding hands.. He felt his heart ache.. And suddenly.. He wanted to cry.. but he tried his best to hold his tears.. Because if taekwoon saw him crying he wouldn't be able to tell him the reason. His heart was being an actual definition of "heart burning".

"I am no one to be jealous.. Taekwoon isn't mine so i can't stop Yeona from touching him. But i still want to kill her.. Joking i am not that evil" hongbin said in his mind showing two different sides of him.

He thought he wouldn't be able to control himself if he saw them getting any closer.. So he looked elsewhere all the time.. And distracted himself by doing shopping.

Back to present:

"Is there a way in between.. that i don't have to tell him about my feelings and still won't have to see him with anyone else... there's got to be a way", hongbin said while forcing his little brain.

"suicide? i won't be in this world so it won't hurt me to see him with his husband.. NO MORE PAIN...NO MORE BREAKDOWNS.. NO MORE ALIVE.." hongbin blurting out whatever came to his mind.

"NO. What the did i just say? How much of a freak can I become?  I have parents who love me the most. They have done everything for me from the day I was born. I can't just leave this world and make them suffer for a ing heart break. Taekwoon also loves me, as a friend obviously. He cares for me. I can't just make him sad on his wedding day. duh.. i don't know why i just even had that thought in my mind"

"Let's just go to sleep.. i am all good. If i don't sleep know i won't be able to wake up in morning. i can't be late.. right? It is just one day.. you can do this.. hongbin.. It is just one day" And then hongbin went to sleep after comforting himself.

Time evaporated and now it is morning..

Hongbin was still sleeping because he went to sleep after 03:00 clock. Mrs Lee went to his room. She knocked the door and asked hongbin whether he is ready to leave or not.. When no response came she opened the door and found hongbin still in his bed sleeping.

"My God.. This kid.. He is still sleeping.. He should be ready by now", Mrs Lee said worriedly.

"Hongbin-ah.. Wake up.. We are already late.. Get up.. Will you?" Mrs Lee said softly yet loudly.

Hongbin turned and changed his side, in no mood of leaving his bed. "Hongbin.. It's already 09:00 am.. Taekwoon's wedding is going to start at 10:00.. It will at least take us 45-55 minutes to be there.. And now you are being stubborn" Mrs Lee said while trying to wake hongbin.

It was then when he came out of his dream world and was forced to face the harsh reality.

'oh yeah the wedding..' Hongbin said in his mind.

"You should go.. I can go on my own. I don't want all of you to be late because of me.. And tell noona to take care of taekwoon for me.. I know he will be really mad at me for being late on his special day". hongbin said followed by a sigh

"What happened to your eyes.. Why are they swollen and so dark?", Mrs Lee said after focusing on hongbin's face for a while.

"Oh.. My eyes.. I slept late since i had so much office work to do.. So i think it's because of that.. No need to worry", hongbin smiled, trying to make her mom less worried.

"This office of yours.. If it is that much just leave the job.. You can easily get a better job you know" Mrs Lee said. still worried about hongbin's condition.

"It was just for few weeks.. I am ok", hongbin said smiling

"Ok.. We will go then. You better hurry and get ready" Mrs Lee said before closing the door.

Hongbin tried to get up but stopped when he felt his head exploding from the pain.. He was sick from quite few days but he totally ignored it.. Not that taekwoon was there to question his health. He was so busy with preparations that he didn't have time to visit him.. Not that he didn't wanted to.. He really wanted to meet him but his mum was ill so he had to do all the arrangements for her sake. He texted hongbin a lot but you can't really tell if a person is sick or getting thinner day by day via messages. Even when asked by his family he assured them that he is fine and this all just because of workload that's all. And that he will be fine when the other employer comes back. Hongbin stood up holding his head. He tried to hold himself together.

"Aish.. These pain had to start now...i don't think i can go anywhere with this.."

"But i can't miss his wedding.. He would be really worried and as far as i know he wouldn't even marry if i am absent.."

"That would be nice right?? That would be really good for me!!"

"No.. I won't destroy his wedding for my sake.. I wouldn't make him delay his wedding just because i am sick.. Lets just go.. It will get better by time.. I should just take some medicines and the pain will go gradually"

"Oh no.. I have got fever to.. All of this had to happen today.. Screw it"

Hongbin just shoved in one of all the medicines he had.. Ignoring the fact that it isn't good to eat too many tablets at once without doctors consent.

"It will get better now.. Let's just get dressed"

Hongbin came out of dressing room fully dressed looking not less than any prince.

"Should i drive in this condition? There is no one at home so i would have to go on my on.."

"I can call taxi..but it will take too long and i am already late" "Let's just go.. It's just a fever"

And then hongbin sat in his car and left his home. 

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preview:

Preview: "hello? Are you taekwoon? I am from the hospital. Your number was in emergency contact details. the owner of this phone was in a serious accident so could you please come to Seoul ph hospital with any blood relatives of the patient.. Please try to be quick.. We don't have time".

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A/N: 

i felt the story was rushed even though it was a one-shot still i felt things were missing.. so i wrote more to build up the plot. i finished writing this at 2:00am last night.. next chapter will be last.. i think it will be a big one. i have planned to make it really interesting lets see how it goes.. please comment.. because i spent so much time on it.. thankyou!! +........ is my habit.. i don't know why i put so many dots in everything.. even on youtube or anywhere when i am writing comments.. you can tell it me if the dots are used unnecessarily.. please comment!!