I remember the feeling of nostalgia.

Remembering the scent of a room or a place where I’ve been to. Picturing the scenery in my mind of the things that can be seen in that place. Nostalgia should feel like a refreshing renewal of a good memory, but the things that I could remember right now don’t have any touch of ‘good’. All I could remember is the color of red spreading around me, and two persons lying facing the ground. The crimson red staining the new white shirt that I bought last week. Blood. Yes, I can smell the blood everywhere. Rusty and unimaginable. I feel dizzy, no no not again. I feel sleepy. I brush the memory away. The room, the blood, and the thought of the past.

I am now in a moving van with my brother, Chan driving it. We’re on our way to a new town in where we will start a new life. A town where we need to adjust again. Adjust to the town’s humidity, ambiance, and everything. This is a first time for the both of us. Only the two of us since our parents just died a month ago. I hope it didn’t happen. You know that it hurts, so bad. The pain digs into my soul. Remembering what happe— okay let’s not remember things here because it will just make the pain worse. I’m trying to suppress my emotions and I just hope I can cage them until they leave me. I love my parents. We love our parents. We really do. I hope it didn’t happ