Soft humming tuned out from Jongin’s lips. His hips were moving to the melody playing throughout the room. There was infatuation in his eyes and a slight hopelessness.

He had been seeing destined couples finding each other in every foot of the mansion.

He had seen the way people began to grasp another's hand as they danced, mutually feeling to see if they were meant for each other.

He had also seen some lose their shine during the night.

Wistfully, he looked around once more. He spotted an acquaintance of his, Jongdae. He was next to a handsome man, about the same height. The smiles on their faces were blissful. A twinge of envy poured through his lips as he tilted the bitter wine glass he was holding. 

Another couple next to them seemed dull. Greed and sadness were accompanied in their austere eyes. They wore their heads high, and as they glanced around, distaste was commonly present.

Jongin could only smile sadly.

The people in front of him, dancing, were lost in oblivion. Most just wanting to forget about the event, as many others had years before, finding no luck.

Seeing it as a step into the right direction, his body slowly moved toward them. He could feel that this was a stupid decision, and he knew the consequences. But the idea was so intoxicating. Like all of the desperation and anxiousness, the depression, would go away. It was so easy to get lost into, as the pressure was clawing at the collarbones, and seducing with ambrosia to the ears.

The gold lights hanging on the walls, reminded him of the memories of earlier. He saw himself running from rejection.

He had also seen him.

He looked ethereal.

There had been kohl lining his eyes.

His hair was fluffy and soft, there was volume gathered at the top, signs he had been running his fingers through it.

His pants were black and he matched it along with a leather jacket. A long gold coat was hanging on his shoulders, the material grazing the wrists on his arms.

His nails, the color of his coat, sparkling in every movement.

Do Kyungsoo is the name of the man he adores.

He had remembered the calling in his ears and the gasp that left his love’s lips after being embraced by the hand.

But it wasn't by him.

Jongin remembered the fear gathering in his chest, almost thumping his heart out of his body. His only thought was to run away.

So he did.

Taking another sip of his wine, he left the thoughts of earlier.

He saw the face of a lovely girl in the crowd. Dancing on the floor, she was signaling for him to join her. A male next to her, just as pretty, signaling for him to join him too.

He tried to find recognition, something that could tell him to go back.

Only their mouths moved but he could hear them clearly.

“Some things aren’t in the stars darling.”

 epiphany.

Like he had finally been understood, he wanted to go forward. He only thought they were right. Because in their mindset not everything could turn out the way one wanted it to be, so why not get lost and start over?

He reached out to grab their hands.

His fingers twitching as his mind screamed at him.

That this ignorance wasn't bliss. It wouldn't bring bliss.

But he couldn't, he didn't, he didn't want to face his feelings, or what could, what couldn't be.

“Jongin...stop!”

He closed his eyes, and waited to feel the sensation. The rhythm in his fingers thrumming the dancing in his body.

      There was a feeling there, similar to the fear of the deep sea. As if air was reversed, it suffocated him. Jongin knew that once ignorance shattered, false bliss would too. He didn’t want to go back.

Before he could feel warm hands grasp his, he was quickly pulled into warm leather.

“Are you crazy?!” Jongin was turned around, hands on his shoulders.

“Talk to me! Are you even listening?! Do you know how worried I was?!”

Jongin walked out on his trance once he felt hands on his cheeks.

He stared down at Kyungsoo.

The next few moments passed by in a blur. He could see Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed and his mouth moving angrily. He supposed he was mad at him.

“You have really nice lips.” Jongin finally said, as his eyes flickered down lazily.

“What?” Kyungsoo said in confusion. Irritation showing as he clenched his fists.

Jongin thought that his love looked the most handsome. Because when he closed his eyes he couldn’t see anyone else but his dearest friend. And as his friend, he thought even friendships had to end.

It might as well end now.

“I love you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in surprise.

“W-What?”

Intoxicated by the selfless, his bravery immersed at the brink of his rationality.

Jongin took Kyungsoo’s face in his left hand and leaned forward to whisper in his right ear.

“I love you.”

Seeing Kyungsoo’s shocked state. He took a few steps backward.

There was a smile on his face, out of relief, out of sadness, out of realization.

Deciding it was time, he turned around and walked away.

The image of a constellation on Kyungsoo’s left ear, not leaving his mind.

And like everyone else, he took the last word. Because he was selfless, because he ignored the shouting of his name, calling out to him.

By no one other than his dearest Kyungsoo, his dearest friend.

---

He glanced at his fingers sadly. As there never were little stars on the tips, unlike everyone else’s.

He could only laugh in frustration because the stars had warned him.

Because “Oh Jongin, you can’t, you’re not ready.” had been whispered in his ears.

Because “Oh Jongin, it’s not your time yet.” had been the cause of his tears.

He wanted to escape, from his thoughts, from his state of mind.

So he chose to dance. Far far away, and he wouldn’t come back, until the years passed by.

----

Jongin’s hands went up to his mouth. The facial expression on his face, becoming the envy of artists and dramatics alike.

The slow breaths of the crowd had come to a halt.

He had dropped.

The screams began to arise once he picked himself up, his hand motioning his body upwards.

He twirled and twirled, spun and spun..

And at the end of every performance he smiled and smiled, taking in every breath he could, feeling the rush of adrenaline

It almost made him forget.

---

“Jongin, how was your tour in America?”

There was a polite smile on his face.

“It was absolutely great. The fans, the energy, everything was amazing.”

The fans had loved the performances, and so had he.

“Are you excited to be coming back?”

He had seen the menacing glint in the reporter’s eyes.

“Of course, I have the chance to see new fans and current fans alike. It is fun, wherever I go.”

His finger had stopped twitching, he was calm.

“How about your destined? Why do you always wear gloves?”

A subconscious grimacing smile became prominent.

There were always questions like this. Whether he liked it or not, whether he told them if it was okay or not.

A figure came walking beside him, calling the event over.

"We are sorry to inform but this is enough for today. Please anticipate the next interviews."

It was a lie if he said he didn’t hear this phrase repeatedly.

As he walked out of the room, even his shadow couldn’t muster up a smile.

---

Kyungsoo felt tears roll down his cheek as his hand met his heart. The tingling sensation on his ear was still apparent.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

The same phrase kept talking to his conscious.

“Hey, why are you crying?”

Kyungsoo turned around to the owner of the voice.

“It’s nothing Chanyeol.”

A sad smile was on his lips, as he wiped his eyes.

“Then let’s take our leave, if that’s okay.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything as he took Chanyeol by the arm.

---

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?

“Let’s breakup.”
    
Kyungsoo breathed lightly. He had a premonition these past weeks, that this exact moment would happen. The signs of acceptance and knowingness had been there, very silently. 

He decided to stay quiet this time.

“You've never loved me. I thought that maybe things would change and fall into place once we got to know each other. But, it’s been a year. This hasn’t changed, this thing between you and me. It won't change..”

Kyungsoo nodded. 

“Let's hold hands again, okay? I already know but, I want to make sure that letting you go is the right choice. This is the only way.”

“I'm sorry Chanyeol, that I couldn't hold your hand longer.” Kyungsoo said, his voice hoarse and eyes watery.

Silently, Chanyeol grabbed his fingers. For a few seconds there was no progress. But soon, prickles of disdain began to walk along their skin. 

“I knew there was someone else the day we met. You need to realize that this is your chance. You need to find him okay? I think we’ve both ended up with the wrong person and I don’t know why.”

Chanyeol moved out that very day, and the couple no longer had the mark on their left ear.

----

Kyungsoo had stayed cooped up in his room. Loneliness was scratching along the wall.

It’s my fault. He'd always think.

I was unfaithful wasn’t I?

Loving another person while being in a relationship with a predestined match.

He pulled the strands of his hair. 

Why?

I’m going to end up alone.

I’m going to end up alone.

I’m going to end up alone.

tbc....