I know I'm sorry I took so long. these night shifts are taking all of my energy, I'm so unmotivated due to no sleep I cant always add these up. 

Also thanks bestie for helping me out. Love you. xx

Taemin has been in a somewhat motionless coma for months now, after a terrible accident. He cannot move, cannot open his eyes but he can hear everything and everyone in his room. From his mother weeping, to a doctor talking about euthanasia, to his lover telling him everything and anything because he believed or hoped that Taemin could hear him. Taemin could only hope that Minho would keep hold of that hope.

Until one night, Taemin opened his eyes.

~

Lee Taemin can’t exactly remember what happened. He knew that he was tired. He knew that he was overworked, and he knew that the moment he got home he needed a good sleep.

But the next thing he knew he was lying on his back. In complete darkness, and unable to move. The sounds were unfamiliar until eventually he could hear everything, words mixed up into an incoherent mess. He was scared and afraid and feared for what would happen to him in this defenceless state. He couldn’t fight it, nor could he ascertain if it was real or not. This state of nothingness, of stillness, of blackness was all he could feel. It never went away…despite how much he tried to wake himself up. He couldn’t even feel his existence in this darkness. He felt lost, he felt like he was somewhere locked up…somewhere he couldn’t even reach his own self. But suddenly some sounds began to make sense in the dark chaotic state he was trapped in. Words in a familiar voice…words that washed him with relief, gave him hope, gave him strength.

‘I won’t ever leave your side. I promise’.

Those words were like a beacon…and everything that Taemin needed to hang on.

~

1 ½ years later and Taemin lay as he did every day on his back. Arms by his side, sheet covering his body. The clicking of the clock a constant nuisance. He had expected he would have learned to zone it out, and usually he did but then it helped when his lover left the radio on with the melodies or instrumental music station. But a new nurse who made night-time visits seemed to turn it off without permission. If Taemin could move he’d probably lock her in a closet. But he was at least thankful that she changed the bins as Taemin was very sensitive to smell. He also had two regulars who came in every other day and changed his bed sheets. Manhandling him but kindly at least making sure he wasn’t uncomfortable and lay in sweet smelling sheets. There was also a Doctor who checked his vitals at every morning around 8am. Which helped Taemin countdown to his regular visitors.

His mother came every other day. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for at least 3 hours and stayed till lunchtime. She didn’t talk much unless his father was visiting with her. The first year, she spent sobbing constantly and Taemin was hurting, hearing her cry. It hadn’t made sense at first, but he had been able to tell every sound apart and he soon was able to isolate her crying from the constant buzz around him. But as the buzzing lessened and everything else grew clearer, he could not endure her crying at all. He was angry, and maybe it was just that- angry helplessness that made him want her to…stop. His friend Jinki sometimes came by for a little while, since he worked at the Hospital and would do a kind attempt to make Taemin laugh with reading out jokes. Taemin was laughing manically inside, he was thankful at least. He once heard a Doctor’s request for Taemin to be ‘put down’ at least how he took it. But Taemin did not want to die, so how dare they! But thankfully neither his parents nor his lover agreed to that.

He had the odd visitors, some friends and family. His relative Jonghyun would sing his latest songs to him. And Kibum would trim his hair. Taemin didn’t keep them to his mental schedule though. And then there was the one who came every evening. The person Taemin waited all day for.

Minho.

Minho arrived every evening around 7pm. He would greet Taemin loudly on arrival and even kiss his lips. Maybe it was his state, but his lips tingled more, his warmth seemed more tempting whenever their lips briefly met. He wanted to kiss him back…but he knew he couldn’t.

Minho spoke well. Something that didn’t struck Taemin much until now. Now that he was silent and was unfit to keep his side of the conversation, he got to hear double the amount of Minho usually spoke- sometimes triple. His voice was rich and smooth, warm and comforting. He missed seeing him and he could only envision an image, attaching it to the soft tone he heard him speak in.

Minho started off with how his day went. He would go in detail, he would add effects…like he was telling a tale. From the soft shuffles that accompanied his voice, Taemin could tell when Minho had put down his backpack, when he had taken off his shoes and coat. He knew too what happened when Minho got comfortable like that. He would sit on his side, holding his hand and would eventually lie down beside him. Taemin relished their proximity. He could get to feel more of his warmth, he could get to smell him. It reminded him of how they greeted each other at the end of the day every day. They would snuggle close on the couch or on the bed and Minho would hold him, snuggling close, pecking his cheeks, playfully asking Taemin to guess what he did that day.

Now that he had finished his recital, Minho lowered his voice, ‘Did you miss me?’

YES!

‘Good, cause I missed you too’. He wrapped his arm around Taemin. ‘You can’t leave the bed now Taemin, so you have to hear all the latest news’.

Really! If I could move I would be doing more than trying to leave this bed.

Minho let go of Taemin and pulled out his phone.

‘So…my team lost. You know how much I hate losing. It keeps me mad for days…and I can’t get over it.” He paused, “Yeah…Yeah. I know you’ll make me feel better later’. He snuggled tighter, kissing Taemin’s forehead ‘The way you cuddle me into feeling better and peck me all over…is really the best feel-better medicine’.

I wish I could do that for you, Minho.

‘Oh, and the President is having a grandchild’.

Okay…

Minho flicked though his phone ‘Boring… Boring, you’d hate that…um.. Oh SHINee won artists of the year, I like those guys’. He clicked his tongue, ‘and that’s it for today, huh’. He looked at Taemin ‘Oh you want me to get off?

No stay close.

‘Well I’m not going to because you’re all…’ He laughed while wrapping his arms and leg more round the male. ‘Mine’. He kissed his cheek, ‘Mine…” His forehead, “Mine…” His hand, “Mine’.

Please don’t leave me tonight, Minho.

Minho chuckled before letting out a deep sigh. He hugged Taemin closer, slightly tighter, longer, in a way different from how he usually hugged him. ‘You can hear me, right?’

Yes! Yes, Minho I can, please believe that I can. Don’t stop talking to me. I need to hear your voice to hang on, to stay sane.

Minho remained silent for a moment. ‘I just…I need a sign, a clue, anything Taemin, and anything to tell me you can hear me. The doctors change their minds all the time, about if you can or not and I just… I need to know’.

Please I’m trying, I want you to know. I want you to feel my thoughts, my feelings.

Minho sat up, much to Taemin’s disappointment.

‘I stole this- the correct term is ‘borrowed’- because I will put it back. I just thought it could help me’.

Minho pulled out a stethoscope, stuffing the bud ends into his ears, and pressed it against Taemin’s chest.

‘Can you hear me?’

YES! YES! YES, I CAN! YES, PLEASE HEAR ME!

‘I love you’

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MINHO!

Minho laughed though some tears. ‘Your heart is beating faster when I say that’. He wept a little. ‘If I stopped talking to you would you be hurting?’

Minho listened. And the echo of a heartbeat slowed down. He smiled. ‘You do hear me’.

I do. I always do.

~

Minho was the only one allowed to change Taemin’s clothes or touch him really. He was the only one to give him a bed bath and to shave him. No-one, not even the doctors were allowed. It was stated in a contract.

One night, Minho made Taemin sit up and was cleaning him up. He spread the shaving cream over Taemin’s face. He then pulled out a shaver and glided it along his skin carefully. ‘I almost forgot how cute you are,’ He chuckled, “Just kidding, a stubble suits you too, but you are cuter like this.”

Oh shut up, now my face is just cold again leave my beard alone.

After a wet warm cloth pat down Minho then removed his lovers clothing. He had new nightwear for Taemin. ‘I saw them at the market and couldn’t resist’.

Oh gosh what has he got for me!’

Minho replaced the lower soft bottoms over his legs, making sure to not knock his catheter. ‘See all soft? And warm since its winter again. I know how cold you can get’.

I’d much rather be next to you. You keep me warmer than these.

He then pulled Taemin upwards, letting him slump against him while tugging off his shirt to replace it. He paused to briefly look at the tube coming from his stomach. Taemin’s feeding tube as it was. Taemin still wished to taste chocolate again.

He hugged Taemin as if this was what he wanted. ‘You can hug me back you know?’.

I want to. I really do.

Once completed Minho then placed Taemin back into his bed. Pulled up the covers, tucking both his arms under and gave him a goodnight kiss. But Minho wouldn’t leave for at least another 2 hours.

~

The music hummed around his room. Taemin was alone again. He had slept soon after Minho had reluctantly left him. But now he was awake again. He was in discomfort. There was a shooting pain down his left arm and leg. His head felt like it was shaking, and he was mentally screaming. Then he found a sharp brightness attack his eyes. Before realising his eyelids were opening. He could see. The room was not as exciting as he had visualised mentally. But he was happier than anything. He blinked his eyes a few times to make sure this was really happening. He didn’t dare to sleep now.

When the new nurse made an entrance, he scared her when she found him looking to her. Later, Doctors came rushing in and the lights in the room pierced his eyes briefly. They started asking questions, questions after questions and began poking and prodding his body. No later than he realised, Minho had rushed into the room, his appearance askew- like he had crashed in his day clothes last night and had coming running back, his shirt all crumpled up, a few buttons off and his hair standing in weird directions. Taemin had missed seeing him like this. Taemin had just…terribly missed him seeing him overall. His eyes teared up at Minho’s sight. He wanted to reach him but his arm didn’t move. His hand did and the doctors were talking again- none of their words making sense to him in that moment. All Taemin could see was Minho. All Taemin could feel was the relief, the happiness that he could now see him again.

Minho’s eyes only left his, to ask what was going on.

‘He’s trying to communicate with you’. They let Minho approach Taemin, who reached in, eyes locking again, and grabbing at his hand. Taemin found he could grip it. The smile that Minho made only made Taemin cry. But it was happy tears. He just couldn’t say so.

‘I’m here Taemin, I’m here, don’t cry… can you feel me touching your hand?’

Yes, I can you moron! I always could.

Minho leaned in with a grin, wide enough to make his cheeks hurt. He rested in forehead on Taemin’s. ‘I’ve missed you so very much’.

Why you’ve only been gone a few hours.

Eventually Taemin was left alone with just Minho. It seemed Taemin wouldn’t give them the time of day. After they left, Minho began to cry, then laugh, then cry again. He finally kissed Taemin over and over on his face before hugging him.

‘I knew you would open your eyes one day’.

~

He hadn’t fully recovered. But Taemin eventually was able to come home. Minho became his carer eventually, saying working at the cheesecake factory just wasn’t that great. And decided to do a part time job online. Taemin couldn’t walk, but his right arm would move slightly, and had control in three fingers giving him the option to point and control the remote for his wheelchair.

Minho didn’t treat him any different to how he did before. Except when taking him to the bedroom at night. There were always things Taemin wanted to do, but with limited mobility Minho would take over most control. But thankfully Taemin’s special area was very responsive. He only had to grunt, and Minho knew exactly what he wanted.

Taemin hoped to never return to the hospital and with many attempts he managed to write it down with the writing style of a new beginner. Minho made note he wouldn’t let Taemin go back, except for check-up’s, that is. Sometimes Taemin’s leg would twitch and he would laugh when Minho jumped in response.

There were signs of speech from time to time but Taemin found his jaw numb to move and slurred. But Minho right away knew from his eyes when Taemin tried to speak that what he was saying was ‘I love you.’

I decided to not do a part two

GiGi x