SHE'S A MONSTER Youngjae

'Firework' - GOT7 Oneshots

Youngjae glanced at his watch while he waited at the bus stop. It was peak afternoon and the hot summer sun was blaring down on him. He sighed quietly, wondering how he always got himself into situations that he didn’t really want to be in.

Choi Youngjae was terrible at saying no. He had only gone to that particular designer store because he needed a gift for his mother’s birthday, and because Bambam was really cool about letting the other guys use his employee discount. Youngjae had been browsing some particularly ugly-looking designer handbags when Ah-Reum came bounding over to him, eyes pleading.

“Oppa! Can you do me a favor?”

Youngjae blinked. “Uh-“

“I forgot my pendrive at home and I have a presentation to make in History class at 2 pm! I asked my cousin to bring it but she’s a complete and says that she’ll only come until the bus stop. I was going to sneak out of work and go to the bus stop myself, but the manager’s here and-“

Youngjae cut off her rambling. It was making him nervous. “You want me to go to the bus stop and collect your pendrive for you?”

Ah-Reum pouted her lower lip and nodded. She had made her puppy-like eyes much larger that they usually were and Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh. She was extremely good at doing aegyo to get what she wanted. He wasn’t sure whether it was Bambam rubbing off on her, or the other way around. Either way, Youngjae couldn’t really bring himself to say no.

“Sure, I’ll go get it. What’s your cousin’s name?”

Which was how Youngjae ended up at the bus stop, waiting for a ‘Lee Iseul’ who was apparently ‘the same age as oppa’ and ‘wears really ugly checked shirts’ while sporting ‘a huge rack’. Youngjae had chosen to cut off Ah-Reum’s description of her cousin there, because he was pretty sure that he was going to be told this girl’s bra size next and he wasn’t quite prepared for that.

The bus arrived, and Youngjae stood up quickly. The first person to get off was a middle-aged man, but he was immediately followed by somebody who was undoubtedly Lee Iseul. She was wearing an oversized checked shirt over a vest, and her dark, wavy hair was tied back in a messy knot. One arm was carrying a folded up easel and the other an enormous bag; both were much too large for her but she carried them without much struggle.

“H-hi,” Youngjae stammered out helplessly, causing the girl’s dark eyes to turn to him.

Iseul’s voice was soft when she spoke; it sounded almost angelic and she gave him the sweetest smile Youngjae had ever seen on a human being. It was adorable and a small dimple appeared on her right cheek. “Oh, hi. Are you Choi Youngjae? Ah-Reum’s friend? Tsk, tsk. How did she rope you into that unpleasant situation?”

It took a few seconds for Youngjae to tear his eyes away from her angelic smile and realize that she was joking with him. He flushed a pleasant shade of pink and cleared his throat. “Ah… I’m not exactly her friend. I’m Bambam’s hyung and she just asked me to do a favor.”

Iseul seemed amused as she fished around in her bag for Ah-Reum’s pendrive. “Gosh. That girl has no shame asking people to do her favors. You really shouldn’t indulge her. I had to go all the way back to her apartment and get her pendrive, so now I’m running late to register for my creative writing class.”

Youngjae nodded, swallowing nervously as Iseul handed him the little pendrive. Even her hands were adorable; small and soft, with the nails painted a light shade of pink. He stared up at the beautiful girl in front of him and racked his brain for something intelligent to say. “Oh, that’s… that’s unfortunate.”

“Yeah, I’m going to hurry off. Nice to meet you, Youngjae-ssi. I’d avoid Ah-Reum for a while. If you’ve done her a favor once, then you can be sure she’s going to ask again.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “No, that’s okay.”

“I’m not kidding. You should think about that. Bye!”

“B-bye, Iseul-ssi.”

 X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“I don’t get it. I thought we were celebrating the fact that Yugyeom finally got a girlfriend? So why does Youngjae look more love-struck than him?”

Jackson clapped Youngjae on the back with a cheerful laugh. They had all gathered to get drinks; but Youngjae hadn’t been able to join in the conversation with his friends like he usually would. He kept thinking about Lee Iseul. It had barely been a thirty-second encounter, but he couldn’t get the girl off his mind. She was beautiful, and sweet and had a voice like an angel. Youngjae had never felt so strongly about a girl and he was positive that it had to mean something.

“Youngjae is in loooove,” Jackson teased. He nudged him. “Yah. Aren’t you going to tell them?”

Youngjae flushed. “I… I kind of met a girl today. I only talked to her for a few minutes, but she looked like an angel. I felt that whole thing; you know, like sparks and my heart started beating faster and everything. I think I might be in love.”

There was a brief pause as the other boys stared at him.

“Okay, how much has he had to drink?” Jinyoung demanded.

“I’m not drunk!” he protested, upset.

Jaebum patted his shoulder comfortingly and handed him a glass. Youngjae had always been rather dreamy about such things; he genuinely believed that he would magically meet someone who was meant for him. It was rather pure and innocent of him. “Okay, that’s great, Youngjae. But you know there are some things you have to think about. Like, who is this girl? Does she have a boyfriend? Did you get her number? How are you going to get in touch with her?”

Youngjae flushed. “She’s… Ah-Reum’s cousin. Lee Iseul.”

Bambam nearly spat his drink out. “Wait, what? Hyung, did you just say Lee Iseul? Like Demon-seul?”

 “What the hell is Demon-seul?”

“It’s what Ah-Reum calls her cousin. The woman is scary as hell.”

Youngjae looked upset and frowned. “Yah. Who are you kidding? Iseul was extremely sweet, and she had the most beautiful smile. I think she might be an artist. She was carrying an easel when she got off the bus, and there was paint on her clothes.”

Bambam let out a low whistle. “Yeah, if you say so…”

Jinyoung frowned. “Okay, but like… how are you going to see this girl again, Youngjae? Did you ask for her number? Do you know anything about her except her full name? How do you plan to get closer to her? You can’t just walk up to her and tell her you felt some magical connection.”

Youngjae gave them all a hopeful smile. “Does anyone want to enroll in a creative writing class with me?”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“I can’t believe I’m doing this. Hyung, I can’t write to save my life. What am I supposed to do here?”

Yugyeom was visibly upset as they entered the creative writing class. There were already a few students sitting inside and the two boys hurried to find seats for themselves. It had all been Youngjae’s idea. He’d enquired into the available courses at their university and found that there was only one creative writing class that was still accepting enrolments. But he didn’t have the confidence to go alone, so he’d roped Yugyeom into joining the class along with him.

“I can’t write either,” Youngjae reassured him. “But I heard this class is really easy.”

Yugyeom frowned. “Hyung, my girlfriend is throwing a fit because I joined a class that takes place on Friday evenings… Apparently I already agreed Friday was date night. To be honest… I don’t exactly remember when I did that, but she’s been messaging me all morning-“

Youngjae gave him a desperate look. “Just for a week or two? Please? I need some help talking to Iseul and you sort of know her already through Ah-Reum. You can quit whenever you want. I’ll even talk to your girlfriend for you.”

Yugyeom sighed. “Are you even sure this is the right class-“

Before he could finish his sentence, Youngjae spotted her. Iseul had entered the classroom and was looking around, her eyes hesitant as she scanned the room for an empty seat. Youngjae felt his heartbeat thud. Her hair was loose around her shoulders today, and it made her look even prettier. He felt his breath catch in his throat when Iseul looked at him and they made eye contact.

“Noona!” Yugyeom called out, waving an arm. “Come sit with us.”

Youngjae fumbled to move his bag out of the seat next to him so that Iseul could join them. She gave them both a relieved smile as she took the seat. “Wow, I didn’t expect to see you here, Yugyeom. I haven’t seen you in a while. And Youngjae-ssi… isn’t this the second time this week?” she joked lightly.

Youngjae laughed nervously. “Haha, yeah, it is. What a coincidence.”

“I’m actually relieved to see some familiar faces. I don’t know anyone else that’s taking this class but  I’ve always wanted to try out creative writing. It seems like it would be a really good outlet for stress. Why are you guys here? Are you journalism majors? Or language?”

“I’m a dance major,” Yugyeom corrected her. “And Youngjae-hyung is a med student.”

Iseul’s eyes widened as she turned her attention to Youngjae. She hadn’t even remotely thought that the rather innocent-looking boy with the bright laugh would be a medical student. He seemed a little embarrassed at her attention and she smiled. “Wow, that’s really cool, Youngjae. It’s amazing that you’re making the time to take a creative writing class. I’m sure med students are really busy this time of year.”

Yugyeom snickered. “Nope. Never too busy for love.”

Iseul blinked. “Huh?”

“You know. Love, romance… isn’t that what writing is all about?”

“I think you’re spending a little too much time around Ah-Reum. Daydreaming for so many hours a day isn’t healthy, I hope you’ll tell her that the next time you see her.” Iseul scolded Yugyeom lightly, before turning to smile at Youngjae. “I hope she hasn’t been bothering you since she made you pick up her pendrive, Youngjae-ssi.”

“Uh, no, I haven’t even seen her since then.”

“Smart man,” Iseul said with a giggle. She rubbed her hands together and glanced around the class. “I hear this professor assigns a group project on the very first day. I wonder who we’ll end up working with…”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Iseul stared at the man sitting across from her, eyes wide with shock.

“What did you just say?”

Youngjae felt nervous. He’d barely touched the cup of coffee in front of him, and his fingers were trembling as he clutched his pen. He hadn’t exactly meant to say it. They’d been discussing a group project they had to make for their creative writing class, and Iseul had been explaining some ideas she had come up with. Youngjae had been staring at her, struggling to concentrate on what she was saying when her soft lips moved in such an entrancing manner, and her dark eyes were lit up with excitement about her ideas.

Youngjae cleared his throat. “Uh…” he trailed off awkwardly.

Iseul blinked and leaned back, giving him a hesitant smile. “You… meant that you liked my idea, right? About the character development? Not that you love me-“

“No,” he cut her off quickly. His heartbeat was thudding in his chest and he wanted to die; but he couldn’t lie to her. It was stupid to backtrack now that the words had already come out of his mouth. Surely she felt it too? Surely Iseul could feel the chemistry between them, could see how they were perfect for each other? Youngjae took a deep breath and spoke with a surprising amount of confidence. “I meant what I said. I’m in love with you.”

Iseul stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh my God.”

So maybe there was a slight possibility that she didn’t feel the chemistry.

Youngjae hurried to explain himself. “It’s just… I know it sounds a little absurd, but I honestly feel that way. You’re beautiful, and when you smile it makes my heart beat faster. I love listening to you speak, I love how creative you are and I love spending time with you. I’ve been feeling this way since we first met.”

Iseul looked horrified. “Since we first met? Youngjae, that was about a week ago.”

“I-I know, but why does it matter how long we’ve known each other-“

“Exactly how stupid are you?” she demanded, eyes wide as she suddenly stood up from her seat. Iseul’s hands were trembling as she hurriedly closed her notebook. She’d heard enough. The puppy-dog look in Youngjae’s eyes told her that he was actually being serious. “Do you seriously think it’s possible to fall in love with someone in less than a week? No- don’t answer that,” she cut him off irritably. “Even if you do believe that you’re in some twisted form of love with me then is it really the right time to confess now? When we have to work together for the next few months?”

Youngjae hadn’t really thought about that.

“Uh-“

“How exactly am I supposed to work with you after you’ve confessed your love to me and I’ve rejected you? Do you even know what a healthy working relationship is?” Iseul demanded angrily. She pointed at the notes that they had spread out on the coffee table. “You couldn’t have held it in until after we successfully finished this project?”

He was stumped. He’d never seen Iseul this angry. She was always sweet, always smiling and laughing at everything he said. Youngjae had never imagined that her glare could cut daggers through him.

“I-I’m sorry-“ he stammered out.

Iseul stared at him for a long, awkward moment. What was wrong with Youngjae? He’d seemed like a perfectly nice guy. He was great to work with and had the sort of easy-going personality that made him a pleasure to be around. How could such a normal guy possibly believe that he was in love with her after barely knowing her for a week? A shiver went down Iseul’s spine and she hurriedly stuffed her belongings into her bag.

“I’m leaving,” she told him.

Youngjae stared at her, eyes wide. “No, please don’t leave. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or anything, I just wanted to be honest about how I was feeling. It was getting difficult to hold it in and-“

“For a whole week? Yeah, must have been hell,” Iseul told him drily.

“Iseul-“

“Oh my God, seriously. Please don’t say my name. I’d prefer it if you deleted my phone number. I’m going to Professor Kim tomorrow and asking him to change my project group so, uh, have a nice life Youngjae. It was awkward knowing you,” she spat out. Youngjae watched in helpless silence as she slung her bag over her shoulder and set down some money for her share of the coffee.

Youngjae bit his lip and watched miserably while the love of his life half-ran out of the cafe.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Iseul hated Christmas.

The streets were brightly lit and the sound of carols drifted out of the neighboring shops. There seemed to be a fake sense of cheer all around; everyone was happy, everyone was content, there was nothing to worry about. Couples walked hand-in-hand. Little children laughed and celebrated. The atmosphere was surely meant to cheer everyone up but instead, it made Iseul nauseous. How could people be so happy? How could they all celebrate while her mind and heart were tearing her apart from inside?

It seemed almost cruel.

Iseul dodged a small girl who was running on the street and paused to glare at the parents who failed to control their child. It took her a few seconds to realize what she was even doing. What sort of Scrooge have I become? she wondered. Wrapping her coat more tightly around herself, she hurried down the street towards her destination.   

Her footsteps slowed as she neared the apartment building. What Iseul was about to do terrified her. She hated it when people got too close, was always pushing them away because she didn’t trust them. It had become a habit for her. People were cruel, people couldn’t be trusted. The world was an ugly place. There was no room in it for stupid, trusting people who were willing to give their everything to someone they barely knew.

People like Choi Youngjae.

Yet here Iseul was, standing in front of his apartment building on Christmas Eve and practicing her speech in her mind. Youngjae had always made his feelings for Iseul obvious, but that only made her more nervous. She wasn’t an idiot. Even after Youngjae had promised never to bring up the ‘I love you’ stuff again, his behavior and attention towards her had made his affection evident. He wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings. Rejection shouldn’t be something for Iseul to worry about, not with a man who was evidently madly in love with her.

Yet something terrified her. She wanted to see Youngjae, wanted to be with him. She had never felt that way about another person before. Sure, there were some people in this world that she liked more than others. But before Youngjae, there had never been anyone who she thought about even when she was alone, somebody who she wanted to see even at night when she was lying awake in bed.

For the first time, Iseul wanted to be with someone more than she wanted to be alone.

There was a car parked outside Youngjae’s apartment building. It seemed vaguely familiar and Iseul peeked in to catch a glimpse of Park Jinyoung sitting inside and biting his fingernails nervously. Damn it. Was Youngjae with his friends? She had been hoping to catch him alone, but there was nothing she could do. Lee Iseul was 100% positive that if she didn’t go and talk to him now, then she would never be able to say what she wanted to.

Iseul managed to slip past the car without Jinyoung noticing her, and quickly entered the apartment building. She took the elevator up to Youngjae’s floor and knocked on his door without allowing herself time to think. There was no response. Iseul took a deep breath and knocked again. Wasn’t Youngjae home? Had he gone out somewhere? Was that why Jinyoung was waiting for him too?

Why didn’t you call him first? She dawdled in front of his door for a few more minutes before confirming that everything was completely silent. Youngjae couldn’t be inside. Feeling slightly numb, she turned towards the stairs and began trudging down them slowly. What was she going to do now? Should she call and ask where he was? Should she come back later? Would she have the guts to?

Iseul was deep in thought when she suddenly heard it; the unmistakable sound of Youngjae’s laughter. She froze for a moment, unable to understand where it was coming from. She stepped out onto the second floor. Wasn’t Youngjae’s apartment on the third? Yet his laugh was clearly coming out of one of the open doors on this floor.

Iseul froze, listening to the sound of his voice.

“Yah! I can’t possibly eat all of this in one night. Why did you cook all this?” Youngjae was asking, n between amused laughs. His voice drifted out from the apartment with surprising clarity. Iseul stood still, listening as a female voice drifted out to follow.

“The meat was going bad, so I just made it,” the female replied sweetly. “Oppa, you like beef, I’m sure you can manage to eat it all. It’ll definitely all go to waste if I leave it in my fridge until I come back after Christmas. You like my cooking, don’t you?”

Youngjae laughed. “Of course, your cooking’s great. But my stomach is only so big.”

“So eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” the female voice giggled lightly.

Iseul felt her stomach twist. Whose apartment was this? Who was the girl that apparently cooked so well, Youngjae could eat her food three meals a day? What was he doing inside her apartment? Her heartbeat suddenly thudded. She didn’t know that Youngjae had a girl who called him oppa and cooked for him. What else didn’t she know about him? How many other girls was he close to?

How many other girls had he said the words ‘I love you’ to?

Iseul’s mind was whirling and she barely realized when the apartment door opened wider than it already was. Youngjae stepped out along with the girl, carrying a large suitcase. The girl was adorable; big brown eyes, pouty lips and a slender neck. Iseul suddenly felt nauseous. What was Youngjae thinking, confessing his love to Iseul when he had a dongsaeng that looked like this? closed up and she found herself unable to speak or move.

“Iseul?” Youngjae asked, eyes wide. He looked surprised to see her. “What are you…?”

Iseul felt like she wanted to sink into the ground out of embarrassment. What was she thinking? Had she thought that Youngjae would wait around for her forever? He was handsome, sweet and kind-hearted. Of course other girls would notice how perfect he was. Iseul suddenly wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. Why hadn’t she seen it all sooner? Why was she forever realizing things after it was too late?

She cleared . “I just… I just dropped by to talk to you about something. But it’s okay, you seem busy, so-“

The girl’s eyes brightened. “Oh! Is this the Iseul you keep talking about, oppa? Hello, Iseul-ssi. I’m Kang Cho Hee, Youngjae-oppa talks about you all the time! Are you staying in town for Christmas?” the girl asked her cheerfully. Iseul could barely look at her. She wasn’t sure whether it was jealousy or something else that prompted the sudden distaste for the girl, but Iseul felt a burst of irritation.

“Sorry, I have to leave-“ she muttered.

“But you said you had to talk to me,” Youngjae insisted, suddenly stepping forward towards her. He looked concerned. “Cho Hee was leaving for her hometown for the holidays so I came to see her off, but we can talk now-“

“No, I… I don’t have anything to say anymore.”

Iseul felt tears coming to her eyes. She wasn’t even sure why she was crying but she didn’t want either of these people to notice. She turned around and ran away, rushing down the stairs and as far away as she could before Youngjae could follow her. She had reached the end of the street before she stopped to think about why she was feeling this way.

You thought Youngjae was miserable and lonely too.

But he’s not.

It’s just you.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“Okay. Let’s be honest for a second here. How many of us are just here for an easy grade?”

Four out of six hands went up around the table. Iseul was the only one with her hands folded tightly over her chest as she glared at everyone else. Youngjae looked somewhat lost, but his hand didn’t go up. The boy who had posed the question looked smug.

“See, Iseul-ssi? Nobody wants to put much effort into this project. Professor Kim hands around A grades like candy on Halloween. Why would you want to make this project so complicated? Let’s go with the bare minimum idea that Mina suggested and to hell with the rest of it.”

Iseul frowned at Jihoon. She had been suppressing her anger at the boy ever since their group project meeting had started, but it was getting harder and harder not to swear at him. “Mina’s idea is the least creative thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t you have a conscience? The project is supposed to last months and it would hardly take us a couple of days to do what she’s suggesting. How are we supposed to account for the rest of the semester?”

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “By doing more useful things with our time? What’s your input on this, Youngjae-ssi? Aren’t you a med student? Do you really have time to do all the work that Iseul-ssi here is suggesting we do? I thought you would be the busiest one here.”

Youngjae blinked, eyes wide as he turned to look at Iseul. He hadn’t spoken to her since the debacle at the coffee shop the other day. Apparently she had asked to have her project group changed but the Professor had refused. He had his own ideas about how people had to get along even in unpleasant circumstances and had sent Iseul away after giving her a lecture on adaptability. Youngjae cleared his throat and tried to speak.

“Uh, I am busy but I mean, we all chose this class, so…”

Jihoon sighed. “I’m telling you, we chose this class because it’s an easy grade. If you make us work hard then that defeats the whole point of it. I’m sorry, Iseul. Nobody’s going to work on your idea.”

“I’m the group representative. I’m the one who has to go to the Professor and explain what we’re working on and account for the time we’re spending. You don’t get to push me around and do whatever you like. I chose this class because I want to and I’m going to do my best.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “You’re the representative because nobody else wanted the job. You’re not the boss of us.  Your idea is brilliant, but nobody wants to work on it. Good luck trying to make us.”

Iseul sat silently, fuming as the rest of them got up to leave. Youngjae was the only one left by the time they all walked away. He suddenly felt bad for the girl sitting in front of him. This class didn’t mean much to him, but it was clearly important to Iseul. She was staring blankly at the table in front of her, eyes distant as she processed what was happening.

Youngjae cleared his throat. “We… we can still do your idea. They might not do the work but I’m willing to,” he mumbled.

Iseul turned and blinked at him. She felt a tiny bit of gratitude that at least Youngjae was still sitting here; she would certainly have felt more humiliated if she had been left completely alone. She sighed and rubbed her fingers over her temples. “I can’t believe this is happening. I joined this class because it was supposed to be fun, I wanted to make some friends. I didn’t think people would be this disinterested.”

“I… I’m interested.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Jihoon’s right, though. Aren’t you a med student? You must be the busiest of us all.”

Youngjae nodded. “I am, but I joined this class and I’m not going to half- it. We can do your idea for the project if we both work on it together. As long as… as long as you don’t mind working with me,” he added quietly. He cleared his throat and looked at her hesitantly. “I won’t mention my feelings for you if it makes you uncomfortable. I promise. I don’t want to upset you.”

Iseul sighed. “What feelings? You can’t have any feelings for me. You don’t even know anything about me.”

“If… if you say so.” He laughed nervously. “So should we do your idea together?”

A sharp glint appeared in her eyes. “Oh, we’re doing my idea all right. But we’re not doing it alone. I’m going to make every single one of those s do it along with us, or I won’t sleep at night. Nobody s around with Lee Iseul.”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Ah-Reum frowned as she poured out the tea into two cups neatly.

Unnie, are you seriously okay? I’ve never seen you like this.”

Iseul forced a smile on her face. She wasn’t sure what had made her do it, but she’d gone to her younger cousin’s apartment on a whim. Youngjae’s laugh and the gorgeous girl who lived on the floor below him kept flashing through Iseul’s mind. Had she overreacted? Should she still have told Youngjae about her feelings? Too many thoughts swirled around in her head.

“Am I bothering you? Do you have a date or something?” Iseul asked.

Ah-Reum rolled her eyes. “Date? I’d need a boyfriend for that.”

“What about Bambam? I thought you guys fixed things? You’ve been secretly in love with that boy for so long, it’s almost disturbing. You should just go and tell him. He’s probably as hell and would kill to be with you.”

Ah-Reum bit her lip and glanced down at her tea cup. “I don’t want to have with him because he’s ,” she admitted quietly. She suddenly looked up with a brighter smile. “But seriously, unnie. I don’t know understand why you’re all lonely and moping around. One phone call from you and Youngjae-oppa would come running to your doorstep. Isn’t it like having a puppy?”

“No.”

“O-kay…”

Iseul couldn’t hold back the question in her mind. “Do you know a Cho Hee? Short girl, really pretty…”

“Who, Kang Cho Hee? Sure. She’s in my year, veterinary college. She’s apparently from the same hometown as Park Jinyoung-oppa. I remember Bambam saying there was something complicated going on between them, but I forgot. She makes amazing food and she’s always sharing it with everyone. Why?”

Iseul felt her heart sink further. Veterinary college? Amazing cook? This girl seemed to be getting more perfect by the second and Iseul wondered if it was even worth thinking about. What man would look at her if he had Kang Cho Hee next to him? Iseul wrapped her arms around her knees and forced a smile.

“Nothing. Just ran into her today. She seems nice.”

Ah-Reum nodded. “She is. So what should we do tonight? I have a bottle of wine we can break out…”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Youngjae came running after her.

“Iseul! Are you okay? I know that was completely out of line for Jihoon to say, but maybe we should sit down and talk about it. There might be some way we can solve-“

Iseul shook her head. She could feel her blood boiling under her skin and her vision was blurred with anger. It had been yet another terrible meeting with her creative writing group. Once again, everybody except Iseul was slacking off and had no interest in anything except for a passing grade. Harsh words had been exchanged and Iseul had stormed out of the room in anger. All the other students had been laughing at her except Youngjae, who’d followed her out.

“Leave me alone,” she told him harshly.

Youngjae hesitated. “I know those guys are s and they’re being uncooperative, but…”

“I can’t do this anymore. This class was supposed to be fun, it was supposed to relieve some of the stress I’d been building up. I wasn’t supposed to be managing a group of children who will go to any lengths not to have to do their work. I don’t need an easy grade. I have a near-perfect GPA. Why am I even here?”

“Because it’s something you want to do,” Youngjae gave her a reassuring smile, one that was hesitant but comforting. Iseul felt her anger melt slightly as Youngjae smiled at her. “And if you want to do it, then you should. Don’t let those s stop you. Leave them alone. We can still work on the project without them.”

“I don’t… I don’t know. I’m thinking I’ll just quit the class.”

“You’ll leave me here alone with those guys?” Youngjae wondered. He was pouting slightly; his lower lip sticking out in a rather failed attempt at aegyo. He was trying to imitate what he had seen Ah-Reum do in the past, but it didn’t really suit him.

Iseul merely raised an eyebrow as she bit back a smile. “What are you doing?”

Youngjae let out an embarrassed, nervous laugh that made Iseul’s heart melt a little. She wasn’t sure why he was trying so hard. Despite all the other group members abandoning her in the dust, Youngjae was constantly trying to cheer her up and comfort her whenever she lost her temper. Whether he was doing it because he was attracted to her or because he was a genuinely nice guy…

It still felt kind of nice.

“Okay. Let’s see if we can do it ourselves.”

They sat down at a nearby coffee shop, ordering drinks and discussing how they could possibly reframe the project idea to accommodate just two people working on it. Youngjae was surprisingly creative and Iseul found herself wondering why she hadn’t asked for his opinion before. He had a constant, encouraging smile on his face and Iseul found herself lightening up as well. Once they’d finished discussing the project, they even ordered more drinks and kept chatting.

“-and they would always make me sit through those horrible horror movies,” Youngjae complained, explaining how Bambam and Yugyeom would often trick him into watching scary movies. “Honestly, I don’t see the point of them. It was even worse when I used to live with them because they would sneak into my room after I fell asleep and pull my leg-“

Iseul laughed. “Are you kidding? Ah-Reum did that to me once too! Those kids, seriously…”

“Yeah, I’m glad I moved out of there.”

“Why don’t you live with them anymore?”

“Ahhh…” Youngjae rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I guess I became really busy after I started med school. I had to study all the time and those two were so noisy and messy. We kept fighting so I figured it was better to find my own place. My apartment right now is really nice, though! And I’m still close to Bambam and Yugyeom.”

Iseul nodded. “Hmm, you guys all seem really close.”

“Yeah, we put up with each other all the time. I mean, it’s not like we get along naturally or anything, but we all know how to deal with each other. Those guys put up with my major snoring problem back in freshman year, those were some bad times…”

Iseul smirked. “What do you mean, back in freshman year? You still snore, Youngjae-ssi.”

He flushed. “What?”

“You were snoring when you fell asleep in class yesterday. Most of the back rows could hear you. You’re lucky the Professor was too involved in his slideshow to pay you much attention. Do you do everything in life loudly? Laughing, snoring…”

“What? I wasn’t snoring, don’t say that!” Youngjae insisted, laughing in his usual embarrassed manner. Iseul rolled her eyes and moved to take a sip of her coffee, when she suddenly felt a sharp smack on her arm.  Her eyes widened and she turned to look at him in shock.

“Did you just… did you just hit me?” she demanded.

Youngjae looked horrified. His hands flew up to his mouth. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just this thing I do when I’m laughing sometimes, I hit the person next to me, it’s not intentional-“

But Iseul was already laughing. Something about it all was so absurd. She’d never had someone hit her before, and certainly not in such a friendly manner. Most people were too scared of Iseul to do anything so playful… and Youngjae’s horror only made the situation more funny. She found herself laughing more loudly than she’d laughed in a long time and soon Youngjae was laughing too, while the people at the neighboring tables glared at them.

Maybe Choi Youngjae wasn’t so bad.

 X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

Youngjae shrugged, a small smile on his face. He didn’t seem to mind that he’d been woken up on  a Saturday morning to do a favor for Ah-Reum. The younger girl had called up both Youngjae and Iseul early in the morning and asked them to meet her urgently. Both had gone running to meet Ah-Reum at the mall, where she had informed them that she needed both of them to go on a date.

Youngjae didn’t seem particularly bothered as he peeked into the stores they were walking past. It was a designer mall; the stores were all expensive luxury brands and there were huge price tags on everything. Only Bambam would come to a place like this, where nobody could possibly afford anything.

“What are we even supposed to be doing? Are we just supposed to watch? Or are we meant to stop them from doing anything…” Iseul complained, a slight whine to her voice. Walking a short distance ahead of them was Bambam, hand-in-hand with a very pretty girl. His new foreign girlfriend, apparently, who he was smitten with.

And who Ah-Reum had sent them to spy on.

“I didn’t know Ah-Reum had feelings for Bambam,” Youngjae admitted. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “They always seemed like just friends. It must be pretty hard for her now that he’s so obsessed with his new girlfriend.”

Iseul scoffed. “Hard for Ah-Reum? That little wench? Youngjae, I’d like to point out that she’s sleeping at home while you and I are roaming around this mall on a Saturday morning. We can’t even afford to buy anything here. How long are we going to follow Bambam and his girlfriend around? All they’ve been doing is drifting in and out of designer shops.”

“I know, but Ah-Reum asked so nicely, and…”

“How are we even supposed to explain ourselves if they spot us?”

Youngjae blushed slightly and glanced at the ground. His first thought was that they should pretend to be on a date. That was probably what Ah-Reum had in mind when she sent them instead of doing the spying herself. But he didn’t have the guts to suggest something like that when Iseul clearly looked so annoyed. He gave her a small smile and shrugged. “We can just say we’re shopping. Bambam doesn’t ask too many questions normally.”

Iseul pouted. “I’m hungry,” she whined.

“Should we go get something to eat?”

“Are you kidding? We probably couldn’t even afford to buy water in this place,” Iseul mumbled. She noticed that even the vending machine had those expensive water bottles which claimed to contain water from the Alps or some . She sighed and sat down with a miserable smile. “The life of a struggling college student, huh? At least you’ll earn a lot once you become a doctor, Youngjae-ssi. I’m probably doomed to poverty for the rest of my life.”

Youngjae rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Ah…”

“You must be pretty smart to be studying medicine in our university. Did you rank first in high school?”

“Honestly? I’m just studying it because my parents want me to. I don’t particularly want to be a doctor or anything like that,” he admitted quietly.

Iseul blinked at him. “Oh. Did you have something else in mind?”

“When I was younger, I kind of wanted to be a singer. Or a musician, like a composer or something,” he admitted with a shy smile. Iseul wondered how someone could look so much like an angel when they smiled. He seemed so sweet and innocent that she felt the urge to hug him. “I don’t know if I would have been any good at it, though. I did take piano lessons for a couple of years.”

“You can play the piano?”

“Y-yeah.”

“I saw a store selling instruments a little while back. Come on, maybe you can play something if they have a piano!” Iseul said brightly. She was dying to do something other than follow Bambam and his girlfriend while they bought clothes. The sight of such expensive attire was getting to her, and she didn’t give Youngjae much of a choice as she dragged him to the store selling instruments. There was a huge antique grand piano on display, and she nudged him towards it.

Youngjae flushed. “I’m not that good…”

“So? There’s hardly anybody to listen. The store owner isn’t even paying attention to us, he knows we’re not going to buy anything.”

Youngjae cleared his throat and hesitated for a moment before sitting down in front of the piano. Iseul could tell just from the way he positioned his fingers over the keys that he was extremely talented. His fingers flew across the piano smoothly in a soft and gentle melody. His eyes closed as he played, and he seemed almost immersed in the music. When he finished, he opened his eyes and looked at her hesitantly.

“Kind of shaky, huh?” he muttered.

Iseul raised an eyebrow at him playfully. “That’s all you can do? Scoot over.”

Youngjae looked embarrassed as he moved over on the bench, allowing Iseul to sit beside him and position one hand over the piano. She shakily began to press some of the keys and Youngjae listened in confusion as she pressed a bunch of random keys that seemed to form no tune. When Iseul stopped playing, he blinked at her.

“Were you warming up…?” he asked.

Iseul frowned. “What? No. That was the birthday song. I learned it in the second grade. Didn’t you recognize it?” She pressed the keys in the shaky tune once again. “See? Happy Birthday to You~ Happy Birthday to You~ Happy Birthday dear… you don’t hear it?”

Youngjae stared at her for a long moment, before they both burst into peals of laughter and the store owner glared at them for making a ruckus.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Choi Youngjae accepted the beer that Jaebum handed him, relieved to have a distraction at least on New Year’s Eve. His thoughts had been whirling in his mind all week. He hadn’t heard from Iseul ever since she turned up at his apartment building and then ran out on him. Youngjae was worried about her. The past few months with her had taught him how to read her emotions. Iseul usually had a poker face but her eyes revealed whatever she was thinking. She had been upset for some reason, and he wasn’t sure why.

“You okay, buddy?” Jinyoung asked, nudging him.

Youngjae forced a smile on his face. He had been looking around the table and couldn’t help but notice that most of the cheerful expressions were either forced or fake. Clearly Miran and Jaebum were fighting; Yugyeom looked miserable, and Mark seemed lost in thought. Only Jackson was trying hard to hype up the mood and failing miserably. Probably because he kept mentioning the fact that he was now poverty-stricken.

“I’m fine,” Youngjae muttered, rubbing his temples. “Just kind of worried.”

“What’s going on?”

“I…” he swallowed and then lowered his voice so that nobody else could hear him. “It’s about Iseul. I know you guys think that I’m an idiot for telling her I love her and that she’ll never care about me, but… she kissed me last week. She kissed me, and then she turned up at my apartment to tell me something but then she ran away and I haven’t heard from her since.”  

Jinyoung was wide-eyed. “Ok, wow.”

“I’m worried about her. Iseul is the kind of person to bottle her feelings up inside, she won’t open up to anyone easily. I’m afraid that she’s lonely but she won’t tell anyone. I don’t want to push her. That might just drive her further away from me. What should I do? Should I call her or should I wait for her to get in touch with me?” Youngjae pressed his fingers to his temples.

“I don’t know if you should wait around. I think you should get in touch with her first.” Jinyoung patted him on the back lightly. “Even if she pushes you away a little, she might just be waiting for the reassurance that you still like her. Don’t do all those overdramatic declarations of love. Just let her know in a subtle manner that you still care about her.”

“You think that’s what she wants?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I mean, what do you have to lose? You’ve already thrown yourself out there.”

Thanks, hyung.”

He grinned and patted him on the back. “Yah. You’ll be fine, Youngjae. Don’t worry so much. You’re a great guy and she has to see that sometime, right?”

Youngjae bit his lip, wondering if that would really work out.  

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

“Can you… can’t you just hold that smile like that?” Iseul demanded.

Youngjae chuckled uncomfortably, trying to freeze his mouth in the wide smile that Iseul wanted, but it was hurting his cheeks and the sides of his mouth. He had been extremely flustered and pleased when Iseul said that she wanted to draw him as a part of an art project, for which she was making a collection of pencil sketch portraits. He’d agreed to meet her in the cafeteria but she wanted his face in a particular expression and he was having trouble holding it.

“It’s… it’s kind of hard,” he admitted through gritted teeth.

Iseul pouted at him. “Your smile looks fake, now. I wanted a genuine laugh. Can’t you just keep laughing? I promise it’ll only take like ten minutes for me to sketch you.”

He gaped at her. “You want me to laugh for ten minutes straight? Can’t I just laugh while you sketch my mouth and then keep a straight face?” he wondered, peeking over at her sketchbook to see how much she had completed. There were barely a few lines on it. “This is really hard!”

“No, you have to keep laughing throughout because it changes the shape of your eyes when you laugh,” she told him firmly. Iseul lifted her pencil and gave Youngjae a small frown. “If you can’t do this, it’s fine. I can go ask somebody else. Maybe Ah-Reum would be willing to sit for me, although I’d probably have to pay her-“

Youngjae pouted. “No, I’ll do it.”

Iseul grinned, feeling bad for the poor boy who was putting up with her for so long. She took her pencil and used the eraser-end to poke lightly into his side, grinning at him when he squirmed. “Let me help you laugh a little bit,” she said, proceeding to dig her fingers into his sides and tickle him. Youngjae swatted her hands away desperately as he laughed, and Iseul quickly grabbed her pencil to continue sketching him with a pleased smirk on her face. Oddly enough, the sound of his laughter made her feel lighter every time she heard it.

“Yah! Lee Iseul!”

Iseul and Youngjae both jumped, turning to the voice that had called her name so harshly. Jihoon was storming over to them, followed by some of the other members in their creative writing project group. He glared at her sharply. “Looks like you’re having fun here. Proud of what you did?” Jihoon hissed.

Iseul stiffened. “I don’t know what you’re-“

“Did you seriously have to tell the professor that we refused to participate in making the project? He gave us all Ds! We’re probably the first people in the history of that godforsaken class to get a D. Maybe you’ve forgotten that you’re the one who went ahead with your own project idea without listening to any of us!”

Iseul glared at him. “You weren’t willing to do any work-“

“We were, but you just went ahead and did whatever you wanted to without considering what any of us felt, didn’t you? Well, congratulations. We told the professor that you didn’t take anybody’s opinions into account and that the majority of us were against your idea. You can anticipate a D too, he seemed pretty pissed off with you.”

“Are you seriously turning this into a childish fight in front of the professor-“

“You started it. Maybe you should get off your high pedestal and realize that you’re not always right.”

Iseul stood up and glared at him, opening to give him some of her choicest swear words. But Youngjae cut her off, stepping forward and giving Jihoon a firm look. His hands were shaking slightly, but his voice sounded surprisingly stable when he spoke. “Yah. I don’t care what happened or what didn’t, you can’t make a scene in the middle of the cafeteria like this. This is not how civilized people make conversation. Either lower your tone and speak properly or off.”

Jihoon scoffed. “Forget it. We’re not interested in talking to her anyway.”

“Then don’t.”

Jihoon glared at her, before leaving the cafeteria along with his group members. Iseul felt her heartbeat thudding as she sat down, her legs slightly weak. Her head was exploding with anger, but she felt somewhat defeated. Why was this getting so complicated, why was she incapable of handling it? Youngjae put a hand on her shoulder gently and turned her to look at him.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Iseul bit her lip. “I hate that guy.”

“I know.”

“It’s not my fault. I didn’t just go ahead with whatever I wanted. I asked them so many times to discuss a solution with me, to arrive at something that we were all okay with but they never wanted to put in the time,” Iseul fumed angrily. She felt her hands trembling.

“That’s true.”

“And if they hated my idea so much, why didn’t they work on their own idea? They didn’t make their project, they just allowed us to submit our hard work on behalf of the group. They were hoping to mooch off our work  even though they were against it from the start,” Iseul continued ranting. Her breathing was getting heavier as the anger built inside her. “This is so frustrating! How dare they go and tell the professor that I did whatever I wanted as if I was some dictator! Why should I have to suffer even after working hard?”

Youngjae nodded gently, reaching out to squeeze Iseul’s hand lightly. His grip was warm and it helped her calm down slightly. She turned to look at him, seeing his worried eyes and the watery smile he was giving her. “It’s not fair,” Youngjae reassured her gently. “We’ll go talk to the professor. We’ll explain to him-“

“Am I really the bad person in this situation?” Iseul demanded.

He gave her a small smile. “You’re not the bad person. Nobody is. Everyone just has different priorities and egos clash, that’s all. They offended you, you offended them. It’s a cycle that we need to break out of.”

Iseul frowned at him. “That’s oddly evasive.”

“You know I’m on your side. I’ve been on your side since the beginning of this project. I’m just saying maybe we should sort this out by talking to them. We should get our grade for the project we worked hard on, and they should be able to make whatever project they want to and get a grade for that. This professor’s just being stubborn. We’ll get it sorted out so don’t stress yourself over it.”

Iseul looked at Youngjae for a long moment. Her anger had been blinding her, but she felt calmer after looking into his calm, reassuring eyes. For a moment, she felt lost in them. Youngjae’s gaze, which were always looking her, always worried about her, always supporting her when her emotions were rocky. It suddenly reminded her that she wasn’t alone in this and that he would be there for her.

“Are you okay?” Youngjae asked her softly.

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

“Huh?”

“You… you’ve been dealing with my temper and comforting me about this project a lot. Honestly, I don’t think I would have been able to deal with those s if it wasn’t for you. I probably would have quit the class long ago.”

Youngjae flushed. “That’s not…”

Iseul wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she leaned forward and kissed him. His soft, gentle gaze was making her feel warm inside and she just felt the urge to place her hands on his cheeks and kiss him. He kissed her back almost instantly. Youngjae’s lips were soft and eager as they pressed back against hers, tasting of coffee and sugar. When they finally pulled apart, he stared at Iseul with wide eyes.

“Iseul…” he mumbled.

Her eyes went wide. “Sorry, I um-“

“No, you don’t have to say sorry.”

“I think I should go. Maybe we can meet some other time to finish the sketch, I just… I really need to leave right now. I’m sorry,” Iseul rambled as she grabbed her things and stuffed them into her bag. She looked down at Youngjae briefly and saw a helpless look in his eyes; the same look he’d had when she walked out on him at the coffee shop months ago, where he’d told her he loved her.

“No, please-“

“Bye.”

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Youngjae took a deep breath. The alcohol had given him the courage to open his phone and type out a text. He had no idea where Iseul was, but Jinyoung was right. Maybe she was waiting for him to say something, maybe the fact that she’d come to his apartment and left without saying anything was a hint that he should make a move. Either way, Youngjae wasn’t willing to take the risk of keeping quiet. The worst that could happen was that he would be rejected again.

Youngjae (23:15): Can we talk? I really think we should….

He didn’t really expect a response. It was New Year’s Eve after all, she was probably at a party with friends or something like that. But he received a reply within five minutes.

Iseul (23:20): I’m at my apartment. Come over?

Youngjae’s heart skipped a beat. Was she willing to talk to him about what had happened? He was relieved when Jaebum suggested that they all get out of the restaurant and he quickly handed over his share of the bill to Jinyoung before leaping out of his seat. Did he have enough time to walk to Iseul’s apartment? Would there still be a bus running at this hour?  Ah, screw it. He didn’t have time for all that, he would just take a taxi.

Youngjae was nervous as he hurried up to Iseul’s apartment. To be honest, he didn’t know what she was going to say; there was every likelihood that she would tell him the kiss was a mistake that she’d made in the heat-of-the-moment. But he still wanted to hear it from her, whatever it was. He took a deep, calming breath as he approached her apartment. The front door was open, and he peeked inside before calling out.

“Iseul? Are you here?” he yelled.

“Come in!” her voice called back. He quickly took off his shoes and entered the empty living room. He suddenly noticed that the sliding door to the balcony was open; Iseul was standing near the railing with a glass of wine in her hand as she looked at him. Youngjae bit his lip. She was wearing a dress; a pretty black one that showed a lot of her legs and her hair was messily tied up to reveal her slender neck. She gave Youngjae a hesitant smile.

He stepped out into the balcony and shivered a little. “Wow, it’s cold out here. What are you doing?”

Iseul shrugged, her eyes were slightly unfocused. “I’ve had so much to drink, I don’t feel cold anymore. Want a glass of wine? I snuck the bottle out from this family party that my parents convinced me to go to, but I left early because it was so unbearable.”

Youngjae blinked. “Uh, no… that’s okay. I drank a lot with my friends earlier.”

Iseul nodded. “Right…”

There was a long, awkward silence. Iseul wasn’t sure what she was doing. The silence of the night was screaming in her ears, but she couldn’t think of a single thing to say to Youngjae. It was as if the words had disappeared from her mind. He was staring at her, watching her, and the longer the silence continued, the more awkward she felt. Iseul took a deep breath and turned to look at him. She had never observed how handsome Youngjae was. His dark hair was flying around in the cold wind but he said nothing. He just stood with his arms folded across his chest, watching her.

“Should I speak?” he asked after a moment. “I don’t have that much to say.”

“O-okay.”

“You probably know this already, but… I still have feelings for you. I promised myself that I wouldn’t bring this up again and make you uncomfortable. But after you kissed me the other day and then avoided me, I thought maybe you needed to hear it.”

Iseul bit her lip. “Why?” she mumbled.

Youngjae blinked. “Why… why do I have feelings for you?”

She nodded.

He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected to have to answer such a difficult question. How could he? It was just a feeling, an emotion and you couldn’t put something like that into words. But he looked at the hopeful expression on Iseul’s face. She was waiting for him, there was something she wanted to hear. She wanted some logic for why he liked her and Youngjae struggled to put it into words.

“I mean, it’s just… just something I felt when we first met,” he admitted quietly.

Iseul gave him a forced smile. “So still that love at first sight stuff. You still feel the same way about me because you felt something magical when we first met?”

“No. It’s a different feeling. Yes, I fell really hard for you when we first met and I won’t lie about that. But I can’t say it’s exactly the same feeling now. Now I know what I love about you. I love that you’re strong and passionate, and that you work hard for what you want. I love that you avoid people because you find it difficult to trust them, but there are moments when I can see that you want to trust me. I love that you say whatever is on your mind without holding back.”

Iseul bit her lip. “Wow,” she mumbled.

Youngjae exhaled nervously. Had he spoken too much? Why did she seem disappointed at everything that he said? He felt like he was going crazy, part of him wished that she would just tell him what she wanted to hear. Youngjae ran his fingers through his hair. “What do you want, Iseul?” he asked her finally.

She looked startled. “Huh?”

He shook his head quickly, realizing how that sounded. “No, I’m not… I’m not mad or anything. I just seriously want to know. What do you want? What are you looking for, what are you hoping to get out of this conversation? I can’t figure you out.”

Iseul let out a dry laugh, placing her wine glass on the railing before running her fingers through her hair in a frustrated manner. She was drunk, and her head was spinning. “It would be pretty amazing if you could figure me out, because I can’t figure me out. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Tell me something.”

“What you said just now… that you know why you love me, when you listed out all the things you like about me… that’s what I always thought love was. That you get to know somebody and once you’ve spent enough time with them, you can explain exactly what it is you love about them. That’s why I didn’t believe your love-at-first-sight feelings, because I thought that couldn’t be real love. If you claim to love someone then you should know what you love about them, how they’re compatible with you.”

“I know all those things. I know why I love you now,” he told her softly.

Iseul gave him a torn look. “But I don’t know why I love you.”

Youngjae blinked. “What?”

“If you ask me why I love you, I can’t list things out like that. I mean, I love your smile and how it makes me feel happy inside, but… I don’t know why your smile makes me feel happier than other people. I don’t know why I always want to see you, I don’t know why I keep thinking about you. I don’t know why you’re the first person I feel like calling whenever something happens, good or bad.”

Had she just said…? Youngjae felt his heartbeat thudding in his chest. Had she said that she loved him? Iseul was avoiding his gaze and he reached out to turn her head to face him, looking into her torn eyes. “Do you mean that? You love me?” he repeated.

Iseul flushed red and nodded. “Mmhm. I don’t know what it is about you, I don’t know why you make me feel like this. But for some weird reason, I just know that this is love. Is that stupid? Does it make any sense to you?”

Youngjae nodded and smiled. “It makes perfect sense to me.”

“Then help me understand it.”

He gently tilted Iseul’s chin upwards and kissed her softly. It was different from the awkward, fleeting kiss they’d shared in the cafeteria last week. This one was gentler, more calm and passionate. Iseul felt her heartbeat thud as Youngjae’s lips caressed hers softly and his arms pulled their bodies together. Youngjae was warm and his touch made her skin burn wherever it lingered. Iseul was out of breath when he finally pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.

“You can’t put that feeling into words, can you?” he whispered, his warm breath tickling her face.

Iseul shook her head quietly.

“So it’s okay not to be able to put love into words. It’s not something that’s going to fit into your pre-made logic or reasoning, Iseul. It’s different for different people and I don’t care whether you can put it into words or express it or not, as long as you know that it’s there.”

Iseul looked up at him, eyes shining. “I’m sorry I took so long,” she whispered.

Youngjae chuckled. “I don’t mind.”

They kissed again, just as the firecrackers exploded into the sky behind them. Iseul kept her arms wrapped around Youngjae’s neck as they both turned to hear the cheers of celebration floating in the air and the bursts of colors in the sky. Everything suddenly felt brighter and hopeful, and Iseul felt happy all of a sudden.

Maybe it was okay… to delve into something you didn’t completely understand

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
blueandgrey_ #1
Chapter 2: i'm so glad i managed to stumble upon this collection of oneshots!!! i decided to read the jaebum one first and half an hour later, after an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, i'm sitting here staring into nothingness because!!! that was so!!! good!!! and i am so in love!!! with miran and jaebum!!!
i'm a fan of your writing style, honestly, it's amazing (something that's so rare to find these days), you captured their thoughts and feelings really well, and there were so many little details you included that really made the story wonderful.
and the storyline was so simple but still so good (absolutely loved the strip club incident...so endearing!!!) and i really enjoyed jaebum and miran's journey through those 2 months...you really had me worried there for a second because of the suspense you created with jaebum acting off and then lying to miran but it was such a rewarding ending!!!
thank you so much for working hard and sharing these oneshots, i can't wait to read the rest! ♡
YoSlayTao #2
Chapter 3: Woah, these are really good! I hope you continue with these. I look forward to reading the rest!