“—by the way, you don't have an official schedule for today or tomorrow.”

I almost dropped my phone onto the hotel floor. 

“I know I told you a while ago but I thought I’d mention it again,” my manager, Dahyun, said in a casual tone.

No schedule? For two days? How is that possible? I thought.

Maybe it seems like I was overreacting but in my two years of promoting as a soloist, I really only ever got a couple days scattered here and there throughout the year. Just enough time for me to catch up on some z’s or be with my friends and family. Every time I got a free day, it always seemed so...so wrong. And to have two days in a row? Unheard of.

“Nayeon-ah, did you hear me? Are you okay? I said you don't have an official schedule today,” Dahyun repeated.

I blinked a couple of times. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I did. I mean, yes, I heard, and yes I’m fine. It's just… are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said, patient as ever. “But the day after tomorrow will be packed with stuff to do. You have Weekly Idol to show up to, don't forget that. Then you're going to the set of the shooting for the new album’s jacket… We’ll be more than busy, so rest up. You probably won't get much time for yourself for a long while after this since promotions for the album are gonna start soon. I'm in the next room if you need me, okay?”

“But Dahyun, that's so weird,” I hissed, still trying to take it in.

“Nayeon, you're making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. I love you, but I swear, sometimes you're a bit extra. You always freak out about having free days.”

I smiled like as if she was right there in the room with me. “I love you too, Dubu. You’re right. I'm sorry for being like this. It really isn’t that big of a deal… I don't know how you haven't dropped me yet to manage an easier idol. I must be exhausting, huh?”

Dahyun laughed on the other side of the line. “There are no ‘easier’ idols. I stay with you because you're my best friend… and I'm the only one that knows when you're about to make a bad decision. If it weren't for me...” She air through her teeth. “We don't know where you'd be right now. So you're welcome.”

She was totally joking, but inside I knew she was absolutely right. I’ve always been an impulsive person, doing the dumbest things because I gave my actions no second thought. Ever since Dahyun became my manager, the tabloids have found almost zero dirt on me. 

I knew Dahyun was busy doing manager stuff, but like the angel she was, she still spent another 10 minutes on the phone with me, suggesting things for me to do. She was probably very used to this kind of situation, where she had to stay with me longer than necessary because I was being a drama queen. Oftentimes, she’d even stay awake with me till the morning, just cheering me up when I was down and telling me over and over that everything would get better. 

I honestly didn't deserve her.

When Dahyun really had to go, as we were about to bid each other goodbye, she said one last thing–

“Nayeon-ah?” She sounded worried. That made me worry too.

“What's wrong, Dubu?” 

She sighed on the other side of the phone. “Please don't do anything dumb on your break.”

“Ouch. Glad you trust me.”

“I mean it,” Dahyun groaned. “I don't want to have to be with your all 48 hours of this short break, but if you do do something dumb, I’ll have to monitor you from then on. I’m going to handcuff us together, I swear to god.”

“Stop worrying, goshhh. I’m a changed woman. The Old Nayeon? I don’t know her.” Feeling like it was time for Dahyun to go, I pretended like the call was being interrupted.

“I can't-kkkkk-hear you, Dubu! Sounds like-kkkk- the call is breaking up!”

“I’m serious, Nayeon! You don’t want to get handcuffed to me! I’ll actually make you clean your room!”

“Kkkkk! Love you! See- kkkkk- ya! I'll call you if I need you!” I hung up and tossed my phone to the left of me and crashed down on my bed, hoping she wouldn't call again to scold me or threaten me with cleaning my hotel room.

She didn't. I was glad. I didn’t want her to worry about me for the next 48 hours. She was a busy manager and I knew that she needed a break just as much as I did. 

I sat up and thought of what to do that day. Dahyun has suggested going to watch a movie at a cinema, but there weren’t really any out at the time that caught my eye. Plus, going alone was such a depressing thought that I immediately pushed it away. 

I could go sightseeing, but being out in the open where anyone could easily recognize me wasn't all that great of an idea. I love my fans but sometimes some of them get a little handsy and I wasn't particularly in the mood to get d by uncle fans that day.

God damn it, Nayeon, what do normal people do?

I didn't know the answer to that. I hardly remembered what my life was like before joining the entertainment industry. I had been so busy the past couple years making so many new memories that it felt like the former ones were blurry, slowly deleting themselves to make way for more. 

I was sure there was something to do in Seoul, the city where I was at. There was no way in hell that the capital of South Korea would allow me to have a boring day. 

I thought about trying to go see the Gyeongbokgung Palace, but that was still a public activity. It was a very cold day that day anyways, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it as much as I wanted to. I’d have to go some other day when the weather was more pleasant with Dahyun.

I began having a mini crisis. All I ever ate, slept and breathed was work work work. I never had time to really explore any of the cities I stayed at. It was really disheartening to see how little time I had for myself and how quickly I had forgotten how to spend a day like any other person.

Since I was in Seoul, I knew that I had to change that. I had the ultra rare opportunity to explore the city for two whole days. Only a fool wouldn't take advantage of that.

After thirty minutes of heavy breathing and hair pulling, I decided to go to a club. I hadn't been to one ever since my debut, so I decided to check it out and see if the club scene was right for me. Clubs are dark and that could mask my face pretty easily, so I searched what clubs were good enough to go to and decided on going to Club Octagon. It wasn't super far away from my hotel, plus I'd wanted to go for a while. Who wouldn't want to go to one of the top clubs in the world?

I showered quickly and got dressed. I was about to do my makeup when I paused and looked into the mirror. I wondered if it would be better to just go out with my bare face. The strobe lights that appeared at nearly every club could expose me as a celebrity, as I had an easily recognizable face. If tabloids caught wind of my adventures, they could spin some stupid story about how me going out to a club meant that I was flopping, that my only escape was partying and ing random drunk people. 

No, I didn't want that. I preferred to remain anonymous. I knew it would work, since sometimes even my own parents didn't recognize me. Yes, bare-faced Nayeon was the only option I had to be able to enjoy a schedule-free day.

I dressed in casual street wear, carefully selecting clothing that would keep me warm. I would definitely look a little out of place wearing a large sweater to a club, but I was hoping to combat the unusually cold October weather. I preferred warmth over everything.

Once I was done, I ran out the door and towards the elevator. Despite my earlier pseudo-anxiety attack, I was now kinda looking forward to enjoying my 48 hour break. Assuming that going to Octagon would get rid of the stress that had built up over the course of the years, it would be an excellent day. I wasn’t sure about what I would do once I got tired, but I decided to take everything one step at a time. No need to stress about future things that could easily be taken care of later.

I pressed the lobby button, already imagining the club’s sounds and colors. One thing I had always liked about being an idol was when I performed live concerts and the music coming from the speakers thrummed throughout my body. I longed for it. I only really ever felt alive if I felt the bass shake my insides. Clubbing would be the closest I could come to that euphoric feeling without being the one performing.

The elevator stopped and just when I was about to get in, someone roughly shoved me aside and ran in. I saved myself from falling by holding onto the doors. Disoriented, I stumbled inside and stared at the culprit.

Let me tell you, the girl was in awful shape. Awful shape. Her blonde hair was disheveled, her clothing was wrinkled and it looked like she had thrown it all on in a hurry. Her face was incredibly blotchy, too, like she had spent the last 5 years of her life crying. The glasses that rested upon her nose were dirty and crooked and she had Kleenex in her hands, all balled up and probably no longer useful. 

She slammed her back against the wall and slid down, turning into a pile of sobbing clothes. I tried not to react, as I didn't want to get involved with whatever was happening. I just wanted to go clubbing and have some peace of mind. My body needed it. 

I tapped my foot impatiently, desperately hoping for the elevator to reach the lobby. It felt like an eternity passed when I checked to see how many floors were left when I saw we had only gone down 10 floors. I guess that's the problem with being in a hotel that resided in one of the tallest skyscrapers in the world, the LOTTE World Tower. 

When the doors opened up, I all but ran out of the metal box, hoping to get as far away from the crying stranger as possible.

I was almost out of the front doors of the main lobby when I felt pity grab my heart and shake it. 

What if she needs help? 

It was certainly a move to find someone crying in an elevator a burden. She might be a victim of abuse needing some kind of support or she could have just lost a loved one or or OR— 

Ok, so maybe it wasn't anything that serious. Maybe the girl in the elevator was on her period and having an extra bad day. It could’ve been anything, but my conscience would probably eat at me all day if I didn't at least ask if she needed some help. If she didn’t, then I could guiltlessly go about my day as planned.

Heart tight with worry, I returned and pressed the elevator button then watched as the lights that indicated the floors lit up until they reached mine. Unsurprisingly, the crying girl was still there. She had buried her face into her arms and was quietly sobbing. I stepped in and closed the doors, as I didn't want anyone seeing us and getting curious. I wasn't sure if the girl in front of me was ok with getting attention.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” I asked, my voice hushed, both to not startle her and because my voice didn’t want to come out any louder. I didn't know what involving myself with a regular citizen would turn into, so I was kinda scared. Was I gonna end up being a witness to some domestic abuse case? Or was the girl crying because she was back from murdering her cheating ex? I didn't know the answer to either of those questions. 

I waited a couple of seconds for a response. She didn't even react in the slightest, so I asked again, a little louder this time despite my throat being tight.

“Uh, miss? Are you okay? Do you need help?” I crouched down to her level, hoping to make her feel more comfortable with my presence. Maybe it worked because the girl slowly looked up and sniffed.

“Go away,” she muttered half heartedly. It was a weak command, but normally a response like that, however it was said, would be enough for me to give up and leave them to their own problems. But something about her held me in place like a magnet. To this day, I still don’t know what it was that made me keep trying.

“Hey, it’s okay, dude, you can talk to me.” I sat down next to her, feeling the ice cold elevator wall against my back.

The crybaby looked at me as I slid down next to her. For a while she said nothing, just watched the floor numbers light up as we went down. When we got to the lobby, she finally spoke up.

“‘Dude’? Did you really just call me a ‘dude’?” 

With a tight-lipped smile, I replied “Yeah. You know English right?”

Crybaby made a s