WonWoo is one of my Fav Seventeen Boys, Forgive me for my selfish choice, I'm in Love. I hope you understand

It's too difficult

I can't breathe here anymore

It's suffocating

All I get is hatred ... what have I done ?

Standing here in the freezing cold air on the edge of the building's roof top.

All I wanted was to breathe, to be free, to take myself out of the misery, release myself out of the pain

All I wanted was to Fall.

I spread my arms, the wind hit my face, my body, my soul and I sighed. I wanted to go, I wanted them to let me go, just for once, I wanted to be free. I was feeling dizzy, the atmosphere was so high, it's a long way down there and it's the only way I saw. My mind felt numb, my heart was beating slowly, I wasn't afraid I wasn't scared, I was soulless like there was no life in me, a walking dead among the living. 

And before my head got fuzzier and my knees buckled, I heard him, his voice so loud, so alarmed calling my name, but by then, it was too late, I was already falling. My eyes closed and all what I clould feel was the freezing cold air hitting my face.

He was standing there, on the edge of the building's roof top, looking down at the streets, people must have looked like ants from that hight, it was the scariest thing I have ever felt in my life, one of my brothers was about to leave me for good. I can hardly remember the way I reacted, I never thought of myself as a person of fast reflects but I guess I was so alarmed when I saw him falling. I truly can't remember how I reached him, grabbed him by his chirt and pulled him back to fall backwards instead of falling down.

"Mingyu-ah?" S.coups called my name and I looked up, he was walking towards me "How are you kiddo?"

"I'm ok as long as he is"

S.coups gave him a sad smile "He's ok don't worry" he said. His face made the most fake expression he has ever made so far. The leader was worried, he sighed and closed his eyes for a bit trying to recall the events of this miserable day.

Wonwoo was nowhere to be found, they called him texted him, asked about him but nobody knew where he was and Seventeen was going crazy, some of them even considered abduction. Jeonghan went inside the younger's room, he thought that maybe there will be something in there that would help them find him and thank God that he did.

It wasn't easy to find, really, Wonwoo knew how to hide these things and fake a laugh about them, they had to say that he was good at hiding all of this from them.

Somewhere in his closet, far in the back behind his less used stuff, Wonwoo kept a box. It looked like a useless shoe box, but once you open it, it gets scary. The box was filled with pictures of the other seventeen memebers in different dangerous situations. About to get hit by a car, slipped and almost broke a bone or simply suffering from a stomach ache. There was also a piece of clothing covered in blood, it looked gross and smelled bad too. When the others saw it, they immediately recognised it as Hoshi's because only two days ago, he accidentally injured himself as he hurt his leg with some sharp object sticked to the table, and he used the piece of cloth to wipe the blood off, they never knew why it was there. And finally, there was a bunch of notes.

There was one particular note, it was on the top of the whole pile and looked like it was the most recent one. With a very bad handwritting it said

"You live, they Die"

and there was other notes underneath it too

"It happened because of you"

"Are you sure you still want to stay with them?"

"If something happens it's all your fault"

It seemed like they were going on for quiet a while, it seemed like Wonwoo kept them away from everyone and never said anything, it seemed like he was living a mental fear every single day, and it seemed like he blamed himself for everything that happened to his brothers, No matter how small it was.