I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. There was an incantation upon it that made it look like the night sky, littered with bright stars, and the cooling, silvery light of the moon. I breathed evenly, counting the stars in my head, tracing them with my outstretched finger, marking the constellations as well as shapes of my own. 

I couldn't sleep.

But I've always had trouble with that. Ever since...

Chaeyoung disappeared.

Sleep was already a luxury that an idol could barely afford amidst the congested schedules that we have to deal with. Recording sessions for new comebacks, filming for CFs, filming for Variety shows, filming for our own reality show, filming for the MV of whatever comeback it is we're having. Photoshoots for magazines. Practice, Practice, Practice, Practice, Practice, Practice.   I'm thankful for the fact that time operates much differently here in the library. But, as I said, despite that, I don't find myself ever able to truly rest. 

My mind is always running on overdrive, and I don't know how to slow down anymore. If I'm not working on Idol Activities, I'm working a mission, and if I'm not working a mission, I'm researching the Astral Plane and trying to figure out where Chaeyoung's Astral body may be, and how I can get to her, and bring her back. All the while I'm also still trying my damnedest to understand my powers and get a better grasp on them. 

It's exhausting. 

But all those reasons....they aren't why I can't sleep tonight. Not specifically.

In a few hours, the Induction Ceremony for the Head Librarian would be taking place. And just as everyone suspected, Mina was who had been chosen by Suzy, and all the necessary formalities would take place at the ceremony. With Mina soon to be the Head Librarian, that of course meant that her current position as the Assistant Head Librarian, would fall to me, her apprentice. Which was exciting. But to me it was just another milestone that Chaeyoung was going to miss. 

And that killed me.

She'd missed out on the defeat of Glyzuul, several comebacks, which we had to lie to ONCEs about her being on hiatus for, because of her health. But 2 years is a long time. She'd missed Malik and Seulgi's wedding, she'd missed Jackson proposing to Jihyo, and now she was going to miss Mina and I being inducted into the highest positions in the Library. 

So much of life was passing by without her, my best friend, by my side. 

Damnit. 

The familiar tears were greeting my eyelids, and I breathed a heavy sigh, releasing them from their sheathes, and letting them Cascade down my temples. Most nights the tears were the only thing that got me to sleep. But just as my eyes were about to close, I saw a flashing image of Chaeyoung's body, in the stasis chamber, aging, and becoming decrepit, which sent a shrill scream from my throat as I sat up in trembling distress. I couldn't fight the waves of sobs that began to travel through my body. 

Stop! Don't do this now! I begged myself. 

"Choukobo?" Came a smooth voice from my bedroom door, along with a tentative knock against the wood.

It was Jeongyeon's voice.

Damnit.... I swore to myself.

"Choukobo, can I come in?" She pressed, as I hadn't answered her intial question. 

Just don't say anything, Tzuyu, she'll leave... I thought to myself. 

I didn't want to let Jeongyeon in, because this wasn't the first time I'd had trouble sleeping, or the first time I'd had a panic attack about Chaeyoung...Nor was it the first time Jeongyeon had come to my room and consoled me...

"I...I'm fine, Jeongyeon..." I said in a small voice, wavering voice.

"That scream didn't sound fine, Tzuyu...I'm coming in...Ok?" She responded. 

I didn't answer. 

There was a sharp click, as the gold handle turned and the door opened, slowly. Jeongyeon's silhouette could be seen in the darkness of the room momentarily, before the artificial stars and moonlight on my high ceiling illuminated her slender figure. Her jaw length golden blonde hair shined against the light, with a warm glow. She was wearing a pair of shorts, knee high socks, and an oversized purple hoodie that looked incomparably comfy. She looked at me with her bright Golden Yellow eyes, a concerned, yet comforting look playing across them. Her lips were pursed for a moment, before they upturned slightly, offering a small smile. Despite my mood, I couldn't help but feel the corners of my mouth turn up for a fleeting smile to respond to hers. She jumped from the door frame all the way over to my bed, at least a 15 foot jump, mind you, and landed loftily next to me, in a seated position.

She peered into me, further, with her eyes, and breathed a small sigh. 

"You can't sleep either, huh?" She said, softly.

"What else is new?" I muttered. 

"Which dream was it this time?" Jeongyeon pried, her soft hands reaching for mine. She gripped them warmly, and lightly rubbed the backs of my hands with her thumbs. 

"It wasn't...it wasn't a dream this time...I just...I was thinking about tomorrow, and...I tried to close my eyes..." I struggled to speak.

"And when you closed your eyes you saw her...you saw Chaeyoung...and she was...different...right? Aging...Dying..." Jeongyeon whispered fearfully.

What? How could she have known that? I thought to myself staring at her in awe.

"You're not the only one who has nightmares Choukobo...or fleeting images plaguing their mind...I'm not discounting how you feel, you and Chae were undoubtedly best friends, but we all love her unconditionally, and I don't want you to think you're alone in how you feel. We're all still reeling from that bed being empty as well." Jeongyeon said, staring over across the room at Chaeyoung's bed. 

Chaeyoung had been my roommate here at the library whenever we stayed here. This had been happening increasingly with the events that had passed years ago, and now I just almost always wanted to be here because of my research. All of my other members occasionally stay here, in their own rooms, as well.  Chaeyoung's bed has been how she left it, for two years.

"Which is why...we want you to feel like you can speak to us about this, you know? I know you're always hard at work researching how to find her, and we are too. We all want Chaeyoung back, Tzuyu, and we can't fall apart before we do. I know it's hard, and these past two years have been arguably the worst for our group, internally. Because despite all our success and milestones, Chaeyoung isn't here to experience them. And of course that hurts. It's impossibly painful. But the strength of us all rallying together as a group will help us through it." Jeongyeon said, gazing at me intently, her Golden Yellow eyes glowing in the light of the stars and the moon projecting from the ceiling. Faint traces of tears could be seen glistening her eyes, making then sparkle even more. 

She released her grip on my hands, as I stared back, and lurched forward, wrapping her arms around me, in an incredibly warm, encompassing embrace. 

"You're not alone, Tzuyu. You're never alone." Jeongyeon whispered, while she held me tightly.

I returned her embrace, clasping my arms around her back as well. 

The tears began again.

. I swore to myself, as I wept in Jeongyeon's arms.

"I just...I just want her to come back.....To find a way back....It feels so empty and lifeless in this room without her....but even still...I don't want to leave..." I managed to sputter through my tears. 

"I'll stay with you. I'm right here. I won't leave you. I'll go get Mina, and we'll just sleep here with you instead of in our own room." She replied, beginning to release her grip on me.

Before I knew what I was doing, I gripped Jeongyeon tighter and whispered to her.

"Don't go. Just...just please stay...She's got so much on her plate already...I don't want to bother her." 

Jeongyeon pulled back and looked at me.

"You're plate isn't exactly empty either, Choukobo." She said, a small smirk slanting up the side of . 

She was right. Again.

"But ok. I won't leave you....I'll stay. Lay down. Let's get some sleep, ok?" She said, lying down on the bed, and patting the comforter in the place in front of her.

I followed her instructions and laid on my side, next to her. I felt her snuggle up behind me, spooning me, a soft, and sighed hum sounding from her.

"Sleep tight, Choukobo." She whispered in my ear, wrapping her arms around me.

Her embrace was so relaxing and her slow breathing causing her body to rhythmically press against my back. It was warm and tranquil, being in her arms. But it always felt this way. Because I loved Jeongyeon. I loved her so much it hurt...and here I was...guilting her into holding me through the night. But I couldn't help it. It felt so right. It fit. Our bodies matched each other's. Surely she felt something, too?

Damnit. Stop. Stop it now. Don't do this. I fussed to myself. 

"Goodnight, Jongers. Thank you." I whispered.

"Night, Choukobo. Big day tomorrow." She answered, her voice barely audibly in her half-asleep mumbling. 

She was right. Tomorrow was a big day. I felt my eyes close, and the soft thumping of Jeongyeon's heartbeat against my back drifted me to sleep. 

_______________________________________________

I woke up to the artificial sun shining on my eyes from the ceiling. The warm embrace of Jeongyeon had vacated, and a small emptiness crept back into my subconscious. It was a quarter past 9am LST, which stood for Library Standard Time. 

Mina and I's induction would be taking place in about two hours. I noticed that someone had taken the liberty of leaving out my induction robes and one of my dresses. It was an elegant, long black satin dress with a low 3 inch slit in either side of the skirt. 

Jeongyeon... I thought to myself. 

She'd even put out my favorite heels to go with my favorite dress. She knew me too well.

I leapt from my bed, nimbly, and stretched, letting out a light yawn. I walked over to the bathroom, and stopped at the door frame. I looked at the left sink, which was mine, slightly disorganized, but tidy for the most part, and showing signs of use. Then my eyes shifted to the sink on the right. 

Chaeyoung's sink.

My breath became uneven for a split second,  a large lump in my throat choking me. I swallowed hard, and closed my eyes. 

Breathe, Tzuyu, just breathe. I coaxed myself, internally. 

I inhaled deeply through my nostrils, cool air hitting the back of my throat as my chest protruded outward. I held the breath for a few moments, and let the pent up air slowly evacuate from my lips, as I exhaled, my chest receding to it's resting state. 

I repeated this process 3 times total, before I opened my eyes, and walked up to my mirror. I looked at myself for a moment and traces the burgeoning dark circles under my eyes with my fingers. 

I really need more sleep.

I proceeded to brush my teeth before hopping into the shower. I let the warm water Cascade down my back, providing a therapeutic, calming bubble around me, as I soaked and breathed in the steamy air. My thoughts were always clear, more or less, when I let the water careen over my body. It's one of the only times during the day that I find myself able to truly decompress and shut out the inner turmoil I face throughout the day. 

After I left I shower, I went through my usual facial routine of scrubbing and exfoliating my face before applying primer, and then my usual makeup, although today I added a little extra flair considering the circumstances of my day. Once I was clothed, and robed, I headed towards the door. Grasping the knob with my right hand I turned my head for a fleeting second, to glance at Chaeyoung's empty bed once more. I turned and walked through the door before the familiar lump in my throat could return. 

It generally takes me about Two minutes tops to get to the Monorail near my dorm room in the library. The Monorail is situated at the intersection between the Interplanetary Flora Section, and the Language section. My dorm room itself, is smack dab in the middle of the Interplanetary Fauna section, which is about 2 square miles, and adjacent to the Interplanetary Flora Section. But I was always able to make it to the Monorail rather quickly because of my speed. Because of my hybrid Black Panther transformation, I had adept speed far exceeding that of a normal human, and could run upwards of around 35-40 miles per hour, but only for short distances. I managed to get up to around 48.9 miles per hour once, but I was absolutely spent afterwards, and almost passed out. I was still working on controlling my transformation ability, same as my creation ability. Having two abilities is something that's seen as quite an incredible feat in the idol industry, as myself and two other idols are the only ones in the whole of the industry that have multiple abilities. The first being Seulgi, of Red Velvet, who's ability is that of "Taskmaster" meaning she can do anything she witnesses, and can even memorize said abilities if exposed to them enough. She's since debut, memorized Teleportation from her company-mate Kai, of Exo, and flight from her Husband, Malik. He actually happens to be the other "idol" who has multiple abilities. He's actually American, and half Icthydian, so he possesses several abilities that fall on the Psychic spectrum, most notably, Telekinesis, Telepathy, and Premonition, though the latter he isn't able to control. 

The two of them are far more adept at using their multiple skills as opposed to me, who can't seem to put more than 40% into either of my own abilities. But I'm determined to master them both. I have to. My best shot at saving Chaeyoung will require me to be in top form.

As I bounded through the corridors of the Interplanetary Fauna section, growing closer to the Monorail with each stride, I watched as my hands began to blacken, and become covered is gleaming fur, and sharp claws extending from my fingers. I was transforming slightly, as I ran, increasing my speed. 

Just as I reached what was hearing my top sprinting speed, I darted to the left, climbed up one of the many 50+ feet tall bookshelves that covered the innards of the library like it's bloodstream, and upon reaching the top, I dove across two more shelves, flipping and landing nimbly on my feet. I dismounted and  took in the sight of the monorail station.

"Oh holy ! Tzuyu, you scared the hell out of me!" A voice came from behind me. 

I spun around to see Nayeon who'd been sitting at one of the ornate benches that were fixed in front of the Monorail.

"Oh. Sorry, Unnie, I didn't know you'd be waiting here." I said, sort of absent-mindedly, but still doing my best to offer a small smile. 

"Today's the big day! You're excited right??" She exclaimed, rushing over to me.

"Yep." I said simply. I tried to avoid her gaze.

She was pensive and watched me for a moment in silence. 

"We should get to the General Section then, yeah? I don't want to be late for Mina's induction." I offered, turning to walk towards the large, Silver Train car, complete with Golden Moulding along it's exterior giving it a truly regal presence. 

"Tzuyu. Wait." Nayeon issued.

Damnit.

I didn't turn around, but I couldn't help but stop in my tracks for a moment. 

"I know....you want Chaeyoung to be here for this....but..." She started, tentatively.

"Please don't, Nayeon, Ok? Just don't. I'm fine. Let's just go." I sighed, my back still to her.

How much of this was I going to have to deal with today? Being inducted as the new Head Librarian of the JYP Library is a pretty big ing deal, and there was bound to be at least half the idol industry in the Library today to celebrate and be audience to Mina's & I's achievement. Park Jinyoung himself would be there to do the honors. The last thing I wanted was to be walking into the most massive pity party in history.

Nayeon didn't respond, and simply walked up astride me, as we entered the train car. Due to an Extra-Spatial incantation applied to the train car, it possessed a far more expansive interior when compared to it's exterior. There were several tables, a desk, 4 or so couches, and reasonably high ceilings. It helped make the commutes to different parts of the library a little more luxurious, but also more comforting. 

The train ride was incredibly smooth, as always, but accentuated by the Stark, almost awkward silence in the train car itself. Nayeon's normal hyper active sort of disposition had been quelled by my shortness earlier. 

....I should say something. I thought to myself.

"N-Nayeon...I...I'm sorry about earlier. I wasn't trying to shut you down, I just...I knew what you were gonna say, and I wanted to kind of...avoid that kind of talk today if I could..." I started.

Nayeon remained silent for a moment, fidgeting with her fingertips meticulously. 

I eyed her, wishing for a moment that Telepathy was one of my abilities. She wouldn't meet my gaze. After a few more silent moments I saw her inhale deeply, closing her eyes. As she exhaled she turned to face me, she opened them. Ever since she'd received her ability her irises had taken on a Misty Blue hue. She took a loc of her Strawberry Red hair into her fingers and twirled it as she spoke. 

"Tzuyu. I don't want to beat a dead horse. I really don't. But. Times like these...events like these...I think it really takes a bit of a toll on all of us....and...given what's happened in the past with you specifically...your night terrors....the whole thing at Malik and Seulgi's wedding a few months ago..." She started.

I tried to keep my breathing even as this kind of talk generally either irritated me or triggered my anxiety. 

"We just worry about you, Tzuyu. I shouldn't have to say this, but you know we're all still worried about Chaeyoung. Two years is a long time to be without our sister. But for you, especially, we know you've been taking it arguably the hardest." Nayeon continued.

"I wasn't aware it was a grieving competition..." I said curtly, before I knew what I was putting out in the ether.

.

Nayeon looked at me, slightly agape, and a sharp pained glint in her eyes.

"You know what I mean, Tzuyu! Don't do this! Don't shut us out! We have to rally around each other!" Nayeon pleaded.

I'd had enough.

"Everyone keeps saying that! Rally this, rally that! Well what good is that when we aren't actually doing anything to try and get her back?? Why haven't we halted all promotions and tried to help Sooyoung finish repairing the gate? Or better yet, found a different way to get to the Astral Plane? Why have we just been researching and never making any actual strides to get her! I'm sick of it, Nayeon! I am so tired of waiting! No amount of research is ever going to fully prepare us for the most enigmatic plane of existence there is! We just have to do it! It's been two years since Glyzuul released those bombs on the "Big Three", and got Chaeyoung stuck in the Astral Plane....Two ing years...we have no idea how time works there! She may not even be the same person anymore!" I yelled, standing to my feet, unable to keep my body seated any longer. I could feel piping hot tears rolling down my cheeks, as my vision blurred during my sobs.

I fell to my knees, and felt that familiar shortness of breath returning to me. I felt my body tightening, and I could see my hands beginning to transform again, as well as rotten apples beginning to sprout from thin air, around me, landing on the floor of the train car with several limp thuds. 

No, no, no, not today, please!!

It was happening again. I was having a panic attack. And a really bad one. 

Whenever I had truly severe panic attacks, it would trigger my abilities to manifest sporadically, which generally amounted to subtle transformations into my panther hybrid, and rotten apples spawning around me. 

I clutched my temples with my fur covered hands, slight pinches from my claws being felt on the crown of my head. 

"Unnie!" I cried out in a frightened voice.

Nayeon ran over to my side and picked me up, carrying me over to the couch she'd been sitting on. I felt the train come to a halt, as the doors opened. 

"Oh my god, Momo, perfect! Come quick, she's having an attack!" Nayeon called, frantically over towards the open doors.

My vision was blurry and felt a light-headed dizziness that made everything sound muffled. My nausea began to increase as well. I couldn't breathe. 

And then everything stopped.

I could suddenly hear a light, soft humming. The tightness in my body gave way to a loosening and comforting warmth. I could feel my breathing returning to normal, as deep slow breaths ventilated through my body. My vision then returned to normal and I could see Momo's smiling, yet subtly worried face. Her hands were placed over my chest, and my right temple, respectively. Her hands glowed a soothing white, and I could feel her healing pulses stabilizing my mind and body. 

"Hey, Choukobo. You're ok. Momo's here." She said lightly, her smile widening, as she leaned in to give me a gentle kiss on the forehead.

I couldn't help but smile back at her. Literally. Her mood stabilization technique altered the mental state of whoever she touched whether they liked it or not. Very few of even the strongest Psychics could resist. I'd always been envious of Momo's healing techniques. 

"I'm sorry...." I sighed.

"It's ok." Momo responded.

"No....I meant to Nayeon...I was saying sorry to Nayeon-unnie..." I responded.

I turned my head, still in Nayeon's arms, and looked up at her. Her eyes had become replete with worried tears as well. 

"Don't apologize, Tzuyu...I should have known better...I love you, Ok? I love you, and we are gonna fi-..." She began, before Momo placed her hand on Nayeon's shoulder. 

"Bunny..." Momo said softly, offering a knowing glance.

Nayeon stared back for a moment and nodded, smiling over to Momo, who leaned in to give her a brief kiss on the lips. 

"You ready to get out there?" Momo asked, looking back to me, as she helped me to my feet. 

I could start to hear the clamor of the voices from outside the train car.

"We just arrived here, don't worry." Momo added, sensing my worries. 

I stretched for a moment, and took a deep breath. 

"Yeah...I'm ready. Let's go." I said softly, as I took a stride towards the train car doors. 

I stepped out into the General Section, where the Induction Ceremony would be held, and could hear the dull roar of many voices in the distant increasing in volume as I walked forward, more and more resonant, as I passed the many towering shelves that surrounded me. Nayeon and Momo were beside me as I walked. And as we passed the final few shelves we arrived at the immense reading area that had been repurposed for the sake of this Ceremony. My eyes scanned the hundreds upon hundreds of seats that filled the area, all which were filled by the bodies of idols, staff members, etc. It was a truly packed event. I could make out several of my other members, as well as all of GOT7. Quite a few SM artists had actually come as well. Including Sooyoung. And lastly I saw Mina, the woman of the hour, and soon to be the new Head Librarian of this place. She caught my eye and smiled brightly, motioning for me to come up towards the stage and sit beside her on her right. To her left was Suzy, and Park Jinyoung himself was standing at a large, ornate podium, seemingly readying himself to speak. 

Alright. You can do this, Tzuyu. Let's get it over with.