"let's go" hongbin says as soon as he sees hyuk waiting for him at the door of his house, he offers his hand for the other to take which the latter gladly accepted it.
hongbin's hand was always warm, soothing and had always brought him a tingling warmth that constantly had him feeling too over conscious of everything surrounding him.

he squeezed his hand tightly siding closer to the older who had slightly blushed and grinned.

the short walk to school from hongbin's house ended of them talking about homework and what did they eat the night before. they talked about the flavors and what they enjoyed most, they liked talking in full details about the smallest of things, it was enjoyable and had certainly brought them more closer to each other.

they untangled they're hands the moment they had sat foot in the school's ground. it wasn't that they felt ashamed or embarrassed of being gay in a town that had such subjects as something off and taboo. not did they care about them anyways. but simply to avoid any complications or unncessary disgusted looks and talks behind they're back, it was unsettling for both them. but further than that, sanghyuk especially feared hongbin being subjected to bullying, it was the last thing he'd ever want to see or be the cause of.

he'd never want to suffer seeing hongbin in such a state.

but that only was in school, he didn't care less when they were out of it.

but it still pained him as they needed to part ways now. neither could help it anyways since both had seperate classes that morning due to them to being in different project groups. 

they hugged each other tightly in the middle of the school's hallway before parting. it wasn't that much of a big of a deal as everybody did it too, he was thankfull for that. at least he'd have some sort of body contact with his lover.

"see you later at the cafeteria. " hongbin waves goodbye already making his way to the stairs to the second floor where science classes were held. hyuk nodded before walking the opposet direction making his way to his boring history session.

"hyung!" hyuk yells after saying good bye to hongbin, the younger ran off to the welcoming arms of his hyung.

"hyukkie!" hakyeon exclaimed hugging him back as they both smiled in each other's embrace. they were in the same group, they had already planned to sit next other as always and probably talk about anime and manga.. just like always...

what hyuk didn't know was that hongbin was watching him.

he glared daggers at the smiling boy that is called hakyeon who had his filthy hands wrapped around what trully belonged to him.

he had already started to think of ways to kill him.

maybe throw him off a building after puncturing a hole in both of his eyes or crack his skull open and spell all of it contents out.
or cutting both of his disgusting filthy hands off while making him watch it..

maybe open deep cuts across his body..and watch him slowly bleed to death..it will be fun to try it all...

he shook his head violently, he shouldn't be thinking this way about his lover's friend. 

he only knew little about hakyeon and he seems to be like a nice kid..

kill him

he must die

thief

kill  him 

hongbin felt dizzy. as if the floor underneath his feet was spin around in circles.

the voices had returned. they shouldn't have. 

they were voices he always had for reasons he wished to forget. they always whispered disturbing words to him, ordering and manipulating him into doing things he shouldn't be doing. he almost had killed hyuk the first night the latter had stayed in his house, it was all because of them. they kept saying over and over that he should be killed. and much to hongbin's dismay, he almost did.

he almost killed the love of his life, someone who actually accepted him despite his past and infamous reputation. everybody knew he was the son of a murdrer, a psycho to say the least of what his father was.

everyone in that small town knew about the story that almost turned into a myth over the years, the disppointement of a father, a husband who had binded his wife with ropes over a table and had sliced her open slowly and as painfully as possible infront of his son who was as well strapped to a chair. watching. 

he still remembers it, clearly. 

he was made to watch his failure fo a father slice and curse and spit at the sliced up dead body infront of him. he kept telling hongbin that she deserved it, that she was the reason of him punshing her. after all, she was the one who cheated on him and needed to pay for her sin.

of course hongbin had to watch, his father said that he should also take responsbility since he knew of his mother's infidelity but kept quiet.

the crazy freak had planned to slice his son up as well but when he was about to..that's when everything went blank. he didn't remember anything other than that...

he was shocked to wake up in a hospital bed, with a broken arm and a bruised hands and a police officer already asking questions the moment the young boy had opened his eyes..

he told the police everything knew and remembered , the way his father had emptied his mother's guts and how he took her heart and squiched it infront of hongbin's face. the latter was more than precise with details of what his father had done.

"he took her heart out, squiched it in my face before taking a bite from it and yelling that he could destroy and eat her heart just like she did to hisr..he sliced her legs. he took her eyeballs out. he spilled her guts all over the floor.. he took her blood and rubbed it all across my face..he said i looked more beautiful like that..just like her.." 

he recalls saying more than that but years took they're troll over his memory..

at the time, the police was horrified to say the least, they didn't think the husband did all of that to his wife, they thought that somekind of a killer had broken in and started to slice the woman up like some butcher. 

when hongbin asked why they didn't suspect his father. they answered by saying that they have found him stabbed with a huge knife in his nape.

the police had only said that they found him dead as well as the wife, they didn't want to traumatize the kid any further..but then the voices appeared..they told him how his father died..it was one of them that did it..

he didn't know how they did it...they always yelled and got angry and will hiss with sharply in his ears, it felt as if they'd blow up.

he had learned to stop questioning soon after, it was too painfull to bare..

hongbin being just a child would always tell the voices to go away which got the adults to think that he had gone mad at such a young age...poor thing they always said. 

they threw him in a hospital like they'd normally do, they left him for months before deciding that he should be released since he didn't show any signs of being crazy anymore.

the voices had left him at the time, but the day of his release they had returned..

he got used to them saying random stuff everynow and then, he sometimes ignored they're existance to an extent that he didn't even hear them anymore. 

he always tried his maximum not to be alone; trapped between four walls with voices feeling you're head with demands to kill..he had learned that they get incredibly exicted when he'd ever be angry at someone or ever thinking negatively about someone...they get so hyper..

being with them for so long had him picking a few of they're antics, sometimes he'd think of killing a lady, just because she bumped into him accidently in the streets..

but all of that changed when he met hyuk.

the boy was so nice, understanding and didn't gave wary nor judging glances towards hongbin, he was only interested in knowing hongbin as a person.

he became his friend.

his only precious friend. 

soon, their relationship had gradually changed from friends into best friends onto being love sick with each other.

hongbin told him every thing about himself even about his father and the voices. he had expected him to leave him like any person would do after hearing that. but hyuk was more than willing to stay by his side, he was like a cute puppy..loyal.

he was taken out of his thoughts the moment his head bumped into the door of the classroom. thankfully nobody saw how dorkish it was, as he bashfully went to his seat in the back like he'd usually do.

the two hours had passed by rather slowly, the voices didn't leave much of a breather , they threw a word or two everynow and then, making him even more anxious..they're acting up a lot today for some weird reason.

he was the first to be out when the bell had rang.

he was more than excited to finally be able to see his saver,  his lover. despite the voices lurking in the back of his head.

he ran as if he is rushing to be the first in a race. he was dying to see his lover..

but, he only had shock all over his face, feelings of betrayal and confusion feeling  up his senses.

as if in cue, hyuk had turned to see his lover's shocked face. he was trying to get this girl off of his lap, she just invited her self to sit on it as if it was nothing. he was trying to be as polite and kind as possible, he hated seeming to be rude. but she just kept on insisting to leave her there.

he was in the middle of the argument with her when he had turned to find his lover's horrified face. the latter was beginning to tear up.

he his heels, running away. he didn't care if hyuk followed him or not. he didn't care, he just had the image of the girl on his lover's lap circling her hands around his shoulders touching him..and breathing his sent.. 

he wanted to kill her, he wanted to kill her so bad; to shove her into a wall and bite her face off and watch her writh in pain and beg for mercy.
"hongbin! please stop!" hyuk yelled after the said person who seemed to never listen, but he did, he heard him clearly since it had interrupted his thoughts about the girl.

kill him. 

he continued to run like he'd never did before , his feet burning like fire, sweat dripping down his forhead, breath hitching in the top of his lungs. his out of breath, he can't breath.

finish it. 

he finally neared his house, he rushes on opening the door, entering and slaming it shut. he breathed heavily, his shoulders heaved as he panted, tired of his run. his heart beat so loud he could hear it. his fingers Trembled, his vision getting blurry and unfocused.

"hongbin ! please open up !." hyuk shouted on the other side of the door , he had rushed after the older but for some reason the latter had somehow gained a surprisingly hellish speed as if he wasn't hongbin he once used to know. he didn't even flinch nor try to stop or turn to answer his desperate pleas.

he started knocking and slamming his palm on the door, he was scared of what hongbin might do, he wasnt even sure if he should break this door open or keep knocking in hope that the latter will actually give in and open the door. 

as if answering for his thoughts, the door had slowly opened. the house inside gave off a sort of hazy unwelcoming aura filling up his lungs and senses, his mind kept telling  him to leave, that this was dangerous. but his heart kept telling him to run for his lover, he could be in danger or something wrong could've happend to him.

he had decided to step in.

he took three steps forward, taking in how gloomish and dark the room was even though it wasn't even after noon yet, the air felt so heavy as if he'd soon suffocate. 

the door slammed shut behind him, he didn't see anybody do it.

he slowly turned his head.

he didn't know what he was expecting.

but he surely didn't expect to see hongbin smirking so widely with eyes beating red.

he took a step further away, "hongbin.." he whispered but that as if somehow triggered the latter to laugh like a mad man.

he didn't know how  it happend. but somehow, in a blink of an eye, hongbin had came so close to his face he could feel his hot breath in his face.

he felt cold in his body.

he lowered his gaze slightly and found a knife stabbed right through his stomach.

he shivered, it hurt.

he didn't know how did this all happen.

but that knife had been pulled out and got ed multiple times through into different spots in his stomach, he didn't even react to it or try to fight it..
it's just happend too fast, whimpering with every he received.

"finally we did it !!"  

he heard a deep and hoarse child like voice. he didn't know the source of it. but from his previous knowledge of hongbin's past had already got him to figure out from where it was.

it was hongbin.

he smirked and giggled and laughed so hard when he pulled the knife allowing sanghyuk's limp body to fall down.

the latter still had his breath, he was still alive but not for long.

he felt like crying. his lover had changed. he didn't care much for his current state , his mind only worried about hongbin.

he felt hot tears drip down his cheeks.

warming him up.

he reached with his left hand to touch the opened gushes, they were sticky with blood.

everything was covered in blood.  the carpet, his clothes, hongbin , his face, everything that surrounded them from furniture.

hongbin only laughed harder and harder, it was as if he'd fall to the floor and start crying from the joy.

do it.

the latter reached down and sat on top of sanghyuk hips.

he held the knife in his two hands in a position like he'd soon deliver the finishing blow.

hyuk knew this one will go straight to his heart.

he was powerless.

he had already lost so much blood.

he came about that he'd die anyway, so he smiled.

he smiled as he reached his right hand shakily to cup hongbin's face.

but air had already ran out of his lungs.

his hand had only brushed against hongbin's skin which seemed to be enough to wake the latter.

hongbin opened his eyes to sea of blood and in the middle of it was sanghyuk who his face seemed paler than ever and deep holes seemed so clear in his stomach.

he had only started to take in what he is seeing as he glanced at his hands to find it bloodied and huge full of blood knife.

he screamed. as he shakily backed away to the nearest wall, eyes full of tears, he didn't know what exactly had happend, his lover is dead. clearly he did it, he didn't know when and how this even happend. 

he hugged his knees and started to cry. he didn't find anything else to do.

take the knife.

he heard it wide and clear, the voice again, it wasn't their time now.

"leave me alone damn it !!" he screamed as he grabbed his hair with both of his hands tightly holding every strand of it, as he repeatdly banged his head into the wall, this was all their fault they were the ones who caused this it's they fault.

take it.

"i said leave me alone !!" hongbin yelled again feeling his throat as if about to be closed, he banged his hands throught the wall angrily and screamig 'why's.

join him.

"please...just leave me." he fell side ways on the floor. crying helplessly. he knew he could not do anything to stop them, they killed the one person he was living for...what does he have now to dedicate his life to?..

he didn't know when did the tears stop but all he could feel was emptiness, all he could see was his legs slowly taking him to the where he previously threw the knife, he could only see how his legs dragged him, his hands stretching and holding the knife.

he barelly felt it.

the knife in his heart didn't feel like anything.

he coughed blood. and fell to his knees coughing even more of the red substance.

but he still didn't feel anything.

he dragged himself to be closer to sanghyuk.

he looked closely into his face.

he still looked pale with his beautiful eyes closed.

he missed him.

he missed seeing his smile.

he soon felt sort of sleepy, it had became harder to breath, harder to focus, harder to see.

he felt like his eyelids are growing heavy ordering him to be shut. and so he did.

"hongbin! please open up !! " hyuk knocked until he couldn't feel his knuckles  anymore. he started slamming his hand on the door, desperate to get the older's attention but to no avail. 

"hongbin! please!" he yelled again. 

it didn't seem like he was heard.

he decided he should break the door. it seemed like the only thing he could think of. hongbin clearly misunderstood, he didnt mean any of it. that girl just invited herself to sit on his lap, talking like it was nothing, he didn't want to be rude as he started to push her away but she just pressed herself on him even more,insisting.

he looked like he was bothered by it

his facial expression gave it all out.

but she just didn't move.

his worst fear was for hongbin to see it and it did.

he needed to clear it up for him..

the last push with his shoulder forced the door to break open.

"hongbin!" he desperately called. the room was pitch black and nothing could be seen. he sat foot into the house slowly. he stepped on something sticky but in a form of a liquid. he glanced downwards finding a big poll of what seemed to be blood.

it definitely wasn't blood, it was too dark to be that.

"hongbin!.." he called again. he continued forward until he reached something big that lied on the floor, it was all black, the room itself was dim and nothing could be seen in it.

he had to know what it is. 

he rushed to the window opening the curtains allowing the rays of day light in.

terror did nothing in describing what he saw. 

hongbin's body lied on the floor, face pale, blood gushing down in more than one line. 

body bloodied in what seemed to be more than multiple cuts in his stomach.

hands clenched around a knife that cuted deep into his heart...

hongbin had killed himself...
 

A/N:

i'm sorry for any typos and mistakes ! 

i hope this was good!

comments are much appreciated! and big hugs and thanks for those who subscribed and upvoted !! <3 <3 <3