MY FRIEND.. PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP

 

 

First time I saw him, he look so calm, didn’t say anything, it just like he is mute..

 

“hey my name is Jang Dongwoo.. what is your name..” I stared at the smiling boy Infront me then turn away.

“yah..!! don’t like that… you new in here.. so we should be friend right..???” I stop and glanced at him.

“I don’t need a friend in this kind of place..” I said coldly and leave him alone.

 

I think he just don’t understand why is he in here.. he always think this is the end of his life..

 

He didn’t stop, he always try to make friend with me, and always end with I ignored him.

“yah.. Lee Sungyeol..!! I know you sad..but not like this..” I rolled my eyes, why is he can’t leave me alone, I don’t like anyone.. all people are same.

“Lee sungyeol..” he grabbed my arm and stop me, turning me around to facing him, I looked at him and he just..smiled..???

Seriously how could he smiled if he know his life not longer again, how could he be happy like this..??.

“please be strong..” he said, still smiled before leave me, I don’t know why but y tears run down my cheeks, I hate to admit that I’m weak.

“why is he smiled like that.. how could he be happy..if he didn’t know when he will leave this world..??” I whispers.

 

First time he smiled at me just causing me to exclaimed in excited, I’m happy he want to be more strong..^__^

 

“did you just smiled at me..??” he asked, I nod and smiled, Dongwoo blinked but soon he smiled happily.

“thank you..” he said, I looked at him, his Face look so pale, his body was so thin.. Just like me, we not different..

 

Start from that day, we always chatting with each other, laugh, become close friend and the doctors say we can shared room.. I’m happy he is my best friend forever.. I like him..really ^_^.

 

“yah..!! Jang Dongwoo.. I told you don’t touch my Banana.. !!” I yelled at him but Dongwoo look like he doesn’t care and continued to sleep with my pillow in his head, I gritted my teeth and glared at him, but soon, I smirked.

I walked carefully toward him and jumped on top him, Dongwoo look so shock but soon he laughed as I tickling him.

“hahaha..stop..hahahah…Sung_sungyeol..stop..” he laughed, I smirked and continued, until.. suddenly his face changes, he look so pale.

“whats wrong..somewhere hurt..!!!” I asked him, dongwoo Shook his head, but I clearly can see the red liquid out from his nose, Dongwoo touched his head and whimpers in pain, I stunned and before I realized I was run out and called for nurses and doctors.

They rushed into my and Dongwoo’s room, I just look at them in worried.

“Don’t worry sungyeol, Dongwoo is okay, he just tired” said Sunggyu, Dongwoo’s doctor, I nod But my body was shook, I’m terrified.

 

I’m scared..how if this day I leave this world.. I will leave him alone, and I’m sure he will mute again like before..and maybe become weak and give up with his disease again. I know I’m ready.. but deep in my heart I’m not that ready.. I just can’t leave him alone..

 

I walked into the room, and lifted my head, looked at the sleeping Dongwoo in his bed with tubes all over his body, I steps closer at him and take a seat beside him.

“Dongwoo..” I called him, he didn’t move even a bit.. I sighed, I felt my head so sick “I’m sorry..” I whispers.. “I really didn’t know..but..” I stop as I let tears come out.. “please don’t leave me alone.. at least.. not now..” I closed my eyes and sob.

 

“if one of us should go..” I looked at his pale face. “just let me go first..” I sobbeb.

 

When I wake up I felt something strange and weird…where is Sungyeol…where is him..???

 

I opened my eyes and blinked, where am I..?? I looked around me and blinked its not my room.. I looked at my hand and I realized where am I.

“steril room..” I sighed.. “am I passed out again..” I staring at the tubes in my hands, let out a deep sighed.

“Mom..” I looked at the transparent mirror infront me, there is my mom…. And Dongwoo, my mom was wiped her tears, try to be strong infront me, I looked at Dongwoo, he smiled at me and waved his hand, telling me to come closer.

I walked closer and smiled at him.

“are you okay..??” he asked throught the telpon infront him, I nod.

“don’t worry you will be okay..” he said, I smiled weakly.. and glanced at my mom, she look at me and forced a smiled.

“thank you for take care of my Mom..” Dongwoo nod.

“ah.. see you tomorrow, You will out from here..I asked your Doctor before.” I smiled and nod.

“yeah.. In here just so lonely..” Dongwoo chuckled and put the telpon.

I smiled as he leave me with my mom, who glanced at me.

 

I think he is more strong but his doctor said, maybe he will go faster than me..and  I don’t want to

 

“hey dongwoo..” I greeted him, he looked at me and jumped in happiness, he rushed at me then hug me tight.

“you out from there..” he said, I smiled and patted his head.

“now.. what should we do..??” I asked, he shrugged.

“just do what we want..” he said, I chuckled

 

I’m really Happy with him.. please be more strong my friend

 

I wake up and whimpered in pain, my head felt so dizzy and the blooed out from my nose, I shivering and continued to search the warmness, all pain I feel.. I don’t know but I couldn’t handle it again, my doctor say.. I don’t know what times I will gone.. but I don’t want to.. I want said good bye to my mOm and Dongwoo, I don’t want to die just like this.

 

I tried to opened my eyes but the pain just too much..

“sungyeol..sungyeol..” I heard the familiar Voice, It was my mom, and Dongwoo voice whom called me, I heard the noise surrounded me, the pain become growed faster.

I groaned and my tears rolling down my cheeks, I want to opened my eyes but I couldn’t.

 

God..Not know.. I’m afraid..I want to still live.. please.. not know..please heard me.

 

I’m crying all night, Why is he become weak like that..???  I’m scared what if he didn’t wake up again..what if he not telling Good bye to me.. what if.. I’m sorry but please Don’t give up.. opened your eyes for me.. and for your mom.. please….

 

I wake up from my sleep, my eyes was swollen..am I crying in my sleep..am I still live..??? how many days I passed..??.. how many times wasted..??

“you are wake up..” I turn my head to the left and smiled weakly at My mom.

“hey mom..” I greeted him, mom looked at me in sadness, her eyes was swollen too, I smiled bitterly, she cry to much.. and it hurting me a lot.. the fact she cry because of me, why can I be more strong and not damn weak like this.

“are you okay.. is your head still hurt..??” she asked in worry, I shook my head.

“no mom.. I’m okay..” I replied, I’m such a liar..it still hurt like hell.

“where is DongWoo Mom..” I asked, Mom suddenly smiled.

“he and his mom in  Dr. SungGyun’s office, she told me, maybe Dongwoo will Go home soon..” My eyes widened.

“really..?? is that mean he is okay..??” I asked in happiness tone, My mom nod.

“maybe.. now you should be strong like Dongwoo..” she said, I nod, I really happy now, If Dongwoo will go home soon, its mean he is okay.. but I still sad, that mean he will leave me too..

“nuhu.. If Dongwoo happy I will happy too..” I said and threw my fist in the air “Fighting DongWoo”

 

Sunggyu Hyung said I will out from this hospital tomorrow.. I really happy is that mean.. I completely okay Now..thank You God.. But still I didn’t tell him, maybe he will be sad..

 

“hem..where Is he..” I asked while looking for Dongwoo in Hospital hallway, suddenly I stop as I heard the sobbed, I turn my head and spotted DongWoo’s mom, who cry, why is he cry.. is that because she very happy Dongwoo will out from this place, I smiled.

“ahjumma..” I called her, she look shock but calm as she looked at me, she quickly wiped her tears.

“ah sungyeol-ah..” she said in weak voice, I furrowed my eyebrows in curiousty.

“ehmm where is Dongwoo..??” I asked, she flinched as she heard Dongwoo’s name, but soon she shaking her head.

“maybe he was packing his things.. tomorrow he will go hom..” she said, I smiled happily, but there is something wrong.. why all I could see from her is sadness, is that supposed to be happiness..??, I shook my head throw all my bad thought away.

“ah I will looking for him, Thank you ahjumma..” I said and bows, she just smiled.

Its weird.. why is she didn’t look happy..??

 

 

 

 

 

“so.. you will leave tomorrow.. Congratulation..” I said, Dongwoo looked at me in disbelief.

“are you okay.. if I leave you..??” he asked, I nod.

“it mean.. you will okay.. and maybe.. someday.. we can meet again.. maybe I will be more strong like you..” I said, I was happy but still I’m sad, before I knew my tears run down my cheeks, Dongwoo looked at me in sadness.

“sorry..” he whispers, I shook my head.

“no..its happy news..we should be happy..But..” I stop, sobbed “but..I will missed you so much..” I hissed, Dongwoo pull me into his embrace.

“You are my friend and always be my friend..” he said, I couldn’t help but crying in his embrace.

“yeah... You are my bestfriend” I replied.

 

I frozed as I know the truth.. I’m crying in the middle of night, my eyes kept glued at Sungyeol who sleeping peacefully in the bed next to me.. why.. I thought  I will be okay… so it just lie..

 

 

“bye Sungyeol..please don’t cry again” he said and smiled at me, I shook my ehad and hug him tight, kept crying my heart out.

“please be happy.. please be more strong.. and please.. Never give up..” he said again, I nod, still crying.

“Sunggyu Hyung.. thank you for take care of me..” he said at Dr. sunggyu, I felt the strange again, why is This doctor didn’t smiled like he was happy but instead his eyes show the pain.

 

Dongwoo hug me once again before walked into their car, his mom still didn’t smiled.

“Sungyeol-ah..” he yelled at me, I looked at him, he waved his hand ad shouted.

“NEVER GIVE UP..!!!” I smiled and nod.

“I WILL..” I yelled and waved my hand at him, the tears continued to come out.

“good Bye Dongwoo-ah, I hope U will meet you again..” I whispered.

 

 

The end must be like this..

 

I shook my head in disbelief.. why is the nurses and Dr. sunggyu crying infront me, why all people crying.. ?? I know this place just like home for us.. but for what they cry.

“Sungyeol-ah..” I looked at my mom, and she was crying.

“mom..why..??” My mom didn’t answered me instead she pointed at the board in the wall, I opened my eyes in disbelief

 

Good Bye Jang Dongwoo.. rest in peace..we all love you

 

I frozed couldn’t say any words, what the hell with that..??

Am I dreaming..?? I pinched my cheeks and itw as hurt, I looked at the photo and memo in the board again and it still same.

 

 

Good Bye Jang Dongwoo.. rest in peace..we all love you

 

I read it again.. and its still same, suddenly I kneel down, and my tears streaming down my cheeks.

“w-why..” I whispered “he is look healty two days ago..why..??” I asked still disbelief, my vision were blured by tears.

Someone tapped my shoulder and it was Dr. sunggyu, I looked at him in confused.

“is that just fake..?? Dongwoo look okay when he leave.. is that he leave because he was okay right..?? but why..??” I asked, Sunggyu hyung looked at me in sadness.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, I stared at him blankly, my tears kept ran down.

“why..” I asked again..” why did you lie.. yous said he will be okay.. but why.. You. You liar..!!” I sapped him, Dr. sunggyu shook his head.

“Dongwoo can back hom.. because.. we giving him up.. we can’t help him again.. I’m sorry..” the last thing I could do is cry.

“YOU LIAR..” I yelled, cry and cry.. and all my vision become dark

 

 

 

 

My eyes stared blanky at the diary in my hand, I not open it yet, I’m afraid.. I really afraid.. why is he leave this thing to me.. why..?? why is he lie to me..?? why is he said never give up if he was giving up with his disease..??

Why..??? he said I should be strong.. he said I always try to get up from my weakness..?? he said don’t cry again.. But why.. why is he lie to me..??

Why is he smiled like that if the end just like this.. he leave me….

My hands was shaking as I opened the diary.

 

I read all he wrote in this 2 years.. when I first met him, when he felt  afraid because I always faint.. and when he know the truth…

 

I let the tears out again, I don’t know how much I cry today..

I read one letter in that diary.. and cry again.

 

One day.. I give up..

The darkness already trapped me..

I want to live as long as I could but..

The fate say something else..

I know this times will come.. I’m ready..

But still in deep of my heart.. I still want to live..

Want to play with my friends.. got to school and do everything I want

Which I never do before..

I’m jealous with them who always look so happy in they healty live.. not like me who just can staring at them throught my windows.

I’m angry with all people who try to kill himself and wasted their souls with something wrong..try to crushed their lifes.

I hate all people who kept crying without even try anything..

I hate all people who willing kill himself just because something easy

I hate them..

They didn’t know how much people like me need lifes..

How much people likes me want to live as long we could..

How much peoples like me try to be strong and willing facing the fate..that we can leave in this world as longer as we want to..

How much peoples like me who always cry because he/she will leave his parents and his/her friends crying because he was gone..

Although he want to stay but still he should leave..

I just want they to understands.. nothings will over if we try to hold our hopes

And I just want they to trust in Love

Why..??

Because of love.. all people like me can’t stand and smiled facing the dark world

Because of love.. the sadness changes and  become happiness

And..

Because of love..I can strong..

because of love..I’m here..

 

Please remember me..as your spirit becaus my love was Infinite

Jang Dongwoon

 

I wiped my tears and hold the diary tight.

“thank you.. Dongwoo..” I whispers.. “because your love.. I can’t stand until today..” I smiled and looked at his bed “because of love.. I will never give up”

 

 

THE END

 

this story special I wrote for my friend..'ZaKi Mubarak' I hope you will happy in there.. rest in peace we all love you..