“Let’s give this a try,” Woohyun said as he leaned in, cupping the Sunggyu’s cheeks.

“Woah! Wait!” Sunggyu exclaimed. He ducked and slipped from Woohyun’s grasp, while wiping his lips fervently even though they had not touched. Their lips were close to touching, but they never got there. Woohyun knew that they wouldn’t. They never did. “Ew! Gross! What are you trying to do?” Their lips would never touch because one of them would always react like that.

“I’m calling your bluff!” Woohyun shouted back with a laugh. He pushed the other away with his foot. “How would we work out if we can’t even kiss?”

“Try again!” Sunggyu yelled as he stood back up. He then shut his eyes tightly as if he was expecting a punch rather than a kiss and offered his face to the other. “Try again!” Oh, but Woohyun didn’t try. He just stood there, in front of Sunggyu with his arms crossed over his chest. After seconds passed, Sunggyu cautiously opened one eye and then the other when he saw Woohyun motionless. “Come on, try! Coward!” he tried to urge him.

Woohyun uncrossed his arms and dug a finger into the other’s chest. “You try!”

“Fine, I will!” okay, that response actually surprised Woohyun. This was the most determined that he’d ever seen Sunggyu during one of these moments. Although these moments didn’t happen too often, whenever one of them was going through a romantic rough patch, sometimes they would proposition the other. They were so close already. Why couldn’t they get closer? Why couldn’t they be one of those couples that went from friends to lovers? Woohyun had thought that often over the years. But then he’d remember that dating Kim Sunggyu meant dating and loving Kim Sunggyu. And he’d recoil from ever crossing that line.

But at this moment, would they finally do it?

Woohyun’s heart was racing, with Sunggyu inching closer. He didn’t know if it was out of excitement or panic. All Woohyun knew was that it hurt.

Sunggyu then took Woohyun’s cheeks into his hands. Sunggyu had squeezed them tightly together, forcing the younger into a pout worthy of kissing. He must’ve been nervous too because his lips kept moving on anything but Woohyun’s, “You don’t think I can do this, but I’ll show you. I’ll prove you wrong. See, look! I’m already doing it. It’s not hard or gross. It’s just...a kiss...with you...Nam Woohyun.”

“Are you ever going to stop talking? Or are you going to kiss me?” Woohyun spoke, muffled with his cheeks still squished together. Sunggyu froze right then and there. The hands fell away from Woohyun’s face. It was a relief! A BIG relief! Ah, so Woohyun was panicking. He was so close to getting caught up in the moment that he couldn’t process that he didn’t want this. And he knew exactly why: “You know as well as I do, it won’t work. We’ve known each other for years. We’ve been close that whole time. If we were going to date, we would’ve done so already. We aren’t suddenly going to fall in love. Especially not if we force it.”

“Sungyeol and Myungsoo did!” Sunggyu argued as he took a few steps back. He was pacing around the kitchen now. “They fell for each other after being best friends for years. Why can’t we?”

Woohyun winced. His head already hurt from the hangover. All of this was making it worse. He shouldn’t even begin thinking about the other couple that way. It wouldn’t be good for his aching head (or heart). Myungyeol was Myungyeol. Woogyu was Woogyu. They were different people with different relationships.

And because Woogyu was Woogyu, Woohyun could read Sunggyu well, even with this burgeoning migraine. “Do you want me for me or do you want me so that you can get over Sungyeol?” Woohyun brought up. Sunggyu froze again, midstep. Then slowly his head turned towards the other, offering an apologetic smile. Woohyun pointed at him. “And that’s why it won’t work.” He spun around, going back to the soup. “Do you want breakfast?”

While he was turned around, Sunggyu clung onto his back, hiding his face between his shoulder blades. Woohyun smiled to himself. This wasn’t Sunggyu trying to win him over again. “Woohyun-ah, I’m sorry,” it was an apology.

Woohyun patted the hands at his belly. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. And when he did, when Sunggyu was forgiven, the hands fell away, and the warmth left his back. It was cold now. Cold like last night, when Woohyun nearly passed out on the pallett. Then…He shivered. “I’ve been saying some really stupid too recently.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Woohyun grumbled. And before the other could say anything else, Woohyun asked, “Can you cut this for me?” He nodded at the vegetables that he laid out next to the cutting board. Sunggyu grunted as if he didn’t want to help out, but he did anyway. And he dropped the topic, either giving into Woohyun’s silent request or not caring anymore. In any case, Woohyun was grateful for it.

Neither of them said anything, to each other. Sunggyu was cursing and mumbling under his breath to the vegetables that he was haphazardly chopping.

Woohyun was waiting for him to scream after slicing into his finger, but Sunggyu never did.

But he still broke the silence. “There’s something that you just said though that has really got me thinking.”

“What?” Woohyun didn’t dare to look over. He just stirred the simmering pot in front of him. It was what he did best.

“Friends like us don’t suddenly fall in love.”

Woohyun put down the ladle and glanced over at the other. “What about it?”

Then Sunggyu gave word to Woohyun’s repressed thoughts: “Sungyeol and Myungsoo are a lot like us. They’ve been best friends. For a long, long,  long time.”
“Where are you going with this?” Woohyun asked even though he knew exactly where it was heading.

“How do you think it’s going with them?” There was a spark in Sunggyu’s tired eyes. It got brighter as he spoke. His hope was growing. “If they’re anything like us, they’ll hit a wall and get sick of each other.” 

“Geez, thanks,” Woohyun grumbled and turned away. 

“Am I wrong? You...you are the one who ignores my calls. I never ignore yours.” To that Woohyun just shrugged. It was irritating. They always ended up irritating each other. And Sunggyu would always smack him with whatever was closest. This time it was a bunch of spring onions. And Sunggyu wondered why Woohyun ignored his calls. He could only tolerate so much abuse. And the poor onions were now limp. But Sunggyu didn’t care. “Punk,” he grumbled as he tossed far too large chunks of vegetables into the soup, ruining it and splashing it all over. Not like he cared. He also threw in other bits of food lying around the kitchen. Now he was abusing the soup too. What did it ever do to him? Woohyun watched him incredulously, but the other ignored him and kept talking, “As I was saying, they’re a lot like us, so I feel like they have to end up like us, eventually. As much as they like each other, they don’t love each other. Do you think that’s why we keep holding onto them? I mean, normally I’m not the type to wreck a relationship. Don’t.” He threatened, pointing a knife at Woohyun.

Who raised his hands in the air. “I wasn’t doing anything,” except for trying to fix the soup.

“You were.” Sunggyu backed away from the stove and slumped into a kitchen chair. Both of them let out big sighs for different reasons. “I’m not a jerk. I want them to be happy. They’re nice, handsome, tall  guys,” he stopped. Woohyun had sputtered into a laugh. How could he not though? Sunggyu had a strange way with words. Woohyun motioned for him to continue, which he did: “But I can’t help but to think that they’d be happier with us. Am I the only one who feels like this?”

Now Woohyun could finally say the words that he’d been biting back this entire time: “That’s just...wishful thinking, hyung. False hope.” These were things Woohyun muttered to himself repeatedly to extinguish his own spark of hope. “They aren’t like us. They suit each other in ways that we don’t.”

“I guess you would know,” Sunggyu’s voice was now muffled. His face was smooshed against the table. “They are your friends after all.”

“They are,” Woohyun admitted reluctantly. He closed his eyes and said something else that he’d been holding back, “But honestly, hyung...I don’t know how much longer I can last like this, being their friend.”

It was the first time he’d ever said that, to Sunggyu and to himself.

Sunggyu had gotten up and lazily patted his shoulder. “I get it. It must be hard. I’m not even close to them like you are and…” he couldn’t finish. He was always reluctant to admit his feelings. He then gave a final hardy slap on Woohyun’s bad shoulder. It stung. “I wish you could get rid of a one-sided love like you can get rid of a hangover. Take some pills, drink water, eat some stew, and sleep it away. Speaking of which, do you have any pills?” 

“Eung, you know where they are, hyung.” 

“I do. I’ll get you some too.”

They knew each other well, and well enough to know that they should never ever cross that line. But Myungsoo and Sungyeol did. Why? Because Woogyu was Woogyu, and Myungyeol was Myungyeol. It was almost canon.

Although Sunggyu had said and done a lot of unnecessary things that morning (the stew was barely edible, but both were too hung over to care), he had made one good point that stuck into Woohyun all day: “I wish you could get rid of a one-sided love.”

Maybe he couldn’t get rid of it with a pill or a good, long nap, but Woohyun just might be able to cleanse his soul of it.

He opened his laptop and searched for solo trips in Japan.

“Ahjussi, hurry up!” a little kid whined as she stamped her foot. Sunggyu shot a glare back at her. The little girl then smiled and begged, “Please?”

“I got here first, kid. Wait your turn,” he muttered and turned back around. He was trying to empty his mind, get rid of any thoughts or fears, just focusing on the feeling of his toes touching the end of the platform and the smell of the chlorine pool, the sound of the water splashing beneath him…

“I’ve been waiting for 5 whole minutes!” But whenever he was nearly ready, this frigging girl would break into his meditation and wreck it all! Sunggyu glared at her again.

“Sir,” the lifeguard called out to him from his stand. Sunggyu then shifted his glare over to him. “Can you please either jump or let the child go ahead of you? There’s a line forming. Other people want to go off the high dive.” 

“Fine,” Sunggyu gave in. 

It wasn’t his time. It felt like it was never his time. No matter how much he wanted to. He had to yield again. He climbed down from the platform. He found a chair by the side of the pool and sat there as he watched kids far younger than him jump off from that high platform again and again and again.

Ah, to be so fearless and carefree!

Had he ever been like that? No, Kim Sunggyu always overthought and hesitated. Because of that, he missed out on a lot of things. Like learning how to swim when he was younger, like rarely going on trips, like falling in l…

“Ahjussi!” the little girl called to him again. She was on the high dive again, waving both of her arms at Sunggyu, trying to get his attention. Her wet hair clung to her face. But she didn’t care. She was just a choding. “Ahjussi! Look! It’s easy! Look! You just walk to the end of the board. Pinch your nose, and then…” Sunggyu nearly gasped as she leapt from the platform. His mouth was agape watching her fall into the water with a big splash. He’d seen her do it a few times already, but why did his heart stop? Why couldn’t he breathe until her head breached the surface of the water again? Because she did it for him. “Did you see it? Did you see me jump?” she asked excitedly as she swam towards him.

“I did,” he replied with a gentle smile. Where was her mother?

“Do you want me to teach you?” she offered, pulling herself from the water. She walked up to his chair, explaining and miming, “You just go to the end of the board, scrunch up your face like this so that water doesn’t get up your nose, and then you jump!”

“But,” Sunggyu tried hard to keep his smile, “It’s scary.”
“I was scared my first time too, but it’s fun! You can do it! I promise!” the girl explained.

“You promise?”

“I pinky swear!” the little girl held out her pinky, but before she could finish making her pact with the stranger at the pool, her mom came to take her away. 

But Sunggyu did believe her. It was doable. He could do it. He just needed a bit more time.

He swam a few more laps with his precious kickboard keeping him afloat. He then practiced holding his breath underwater for as long as he could. He was up to nearly a minute now. That should be enough.

The little girl was only able to hold her breath for 20 seconds. Sunggyu had timed her.

He could do it. He would do it.

He just couldn’t hesitate. He couldn’t give him time to think. 

So when he got up onto the high dive one last time, he ran off the platform and jumped.

This weightless feeling, this nothingness, nothing to control, nothing to do or think but fall. It was wonderful, freeing, but too short. It hurt when he entered the water, felt the coldness suffocate him, the silence was unbearable. He clawed his way back up to the surface. He gasped for air at once. The lifeguard anxiously watched as Sunggyu doggy-paddled to the pool’s edge, doubting that the man could make it that far alive. But he did. Sunggyu finally did it. He had jumped off the high dive.

He was elated! Holy Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Ancient Aliens! Kim Sunggyu ing did it! He jumped off the high dive! He could barely believe it himself. But he had witnesses! Like the lifeguard who was still keeping a close eye on him and a few kids were clapping for him (they got invested in his mission).

But the person that he wanted to witness it the most wasn’t there. No matter how much…

Sunggyu couldn’t bear the cold anymore. It was time to leave.

After taking a warm shower and changing into his usual, oversized sweats, Sunggyu tried to leave the gym. ‘Tried’ being the key word. Someone wouldn’t let him. That someone stopped mid-workout and hurried over to him in disbelief, leaving his physical therapist behind.  

“Hey, is it raining? You’re all wet.”

Sunggyu looked up at Woohyun. “Huh? Oh it’s you,” he barely acknowledged him (and his lame joke) and kept trying to leave. 

But Woohyun stepped in front of him. “What’s up, bud? Why are you here?”

“Swimming.” Sunggyu kept his eyes on the ground.

“By yourself?”

He nodded. “I swam and jumped off the high dive.” 

“You jumped off the high dive?!” Woohyun exclaimed.

Sunggyu finally looked up at the other, whose mouth was agape. Okay that was funny. He smiled a little. “Yeah.” 

“Woah,” Woohyun murmured and grinned too. He patted the other on the back. “Nice.” Although he was grinning, his eyes weren’t. It was weird. Pitiful.

Sunggyu hated it. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“Honestly?” Woohyun began, “It’s hard to believe that Lee Sungyeol is actually a good influence for anyone, but look at you! I’ve tried to get you swimming for years! It’s good for your aging joints.”

“You haven’t,” the other scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I did! But I only suggested it. I never pushed you into it,” Woohyun clarified. “Hyung, swimming isn’t just a skill like riding a bike or being able to do this.” The man fell down onto the floor, controlledly, he lifted up his leg like a scorpion poising it’s tail, and popped back onto his feet. Sunggyu saw this party trick many times, but it became more and more impressive the older that they got and the more physical therapy Woohyun had to go through for his own seizing joints. He clapped for his friend, who beamed and continued, “Swimming, it’s a survival skill, like learning how to build a fire or geez, cooking.” 

Sunggyu sniggered. “Can you build a fire?”

“No, but I should learn,” Woohyun freely relented. He then patted the other again. “I’m proud of you, hyung. Swimming all by yourself and jumping into things. But…” The hand then gripped onto his shoulder. “Why don’t you look proud?”

“I am,” Sunggyu insisted. He really was. He just did something that he never thought he could. But his pride wasn’t as strong as it normally was.

“Are you still scared?”

“Yeah, but not because of the water,” Sunggyu muttered lowly. It was really scary, how much he wanted to see that one face. And not to have that round, pitying face of Nam Woohyun in front of his right now.

“Then what?”

“Forget it,” Sunggyu dismissed, waving his hand. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so I’m saying a bunch of ing weird things. I’m proud of myself. I am! Woooooo! I did it! I did it, Namu! I’m the friggin’ ! yeah,” he acted.

“Yay!” Woohyun cheered along with him. Whether he bought the act or not didn’t matter. Woohyun’s therapist dragged him back into the workout, finally allowing Sunggyu to leave. And once Sunggyu stepped outside of the gym, he let out a deep sigh and drug a hand down his face.

“I need a drink.”

Two other men had the exact same thought. It wasn’t a good day at work. It started with a lecture from the Big Boss of the firm to the entire company, and then each subsequent boss felt like they also had to lecture their underlings for their shortcomings. It wasn’t like Sungyeol had to be reminded of them. He was well aware, too aware, of his shortcomings. And to be told about them by so many people, it was rough. 

And Myungsoo never really liked it when people had bad things to say about him. Who did? But it always felt like it was the first time for Myungsoo. It was always a startling shock, hitting him to his core.

Neither of them felt like talking. Neither of them really had to in order to know how the other felt.

They really were like an old couple.

When one of them finally spoke, it was Sungyeol. “Look over there.” He gestured over to a small table of college students: two girls and one guy. “I bet one of them is dating the guy or has a some with him. But I can’t figure out which one.”

“That one girl whose face is glowing red joined them later,” Myungsoo whispered back.

“You’d been watching them too?” Myungsoo nodded. Sungyeol then asked “Was she already drunk when she showed up?”

“Eung,” Myungsoo hummed. “The other two hadn’t had anything to drink before she showed up. It looks like they’re trying to catch up.”

Sungyeol clicked his tongue. Myungsoo always had a habit of people-watching. “You’d been watching them for a long time.”

“Well, we weren’t talking,” Myungsoo snapped back. But then he appeared shocked at what he just said and quickly amended. “We both didn’t feel like talking.”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s just…been a day,” Sungyeol apologized, putting a hand on the other’s thigh.

Myungsoo held that hand. “I know.” He gave it a squeeze before letting go and bringing his hands to his lips in thought. “Because the two had come together, I assumed that they were a couple, but I’m not sure. The guy seemed really happy to see the other girl. And the girl didn’t seem angry that the drunk girl came.” 

“They do seem to be having fun together,” Sungyeol remarked. The college kids were playing a drinking game, and it brought back memories. “Maybe both of the girls are in love with him, and he just can’t decide.” 

“But then why did it look like he was on a date with the first girl?” Myungsoo challenged. 

“Maybe it was, but then the drunk girl heard about the date and crashed it?” Sungyeol guessed.

Myungsoo shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. They don’t seem upset at all that she came. They all seem really friendly. Maybe…” Myungsoo stopped, contemplating if he should finish. He decided to, “Maybe she’s their Woohyun?”

Sungyeol sputtered into a laugh. The first time he’d laugh all day. “The third wheel? Well, maybe. I wouldn’t turn away a drunken Woohyun from crashing our date. I doubt I could.” His smile faltered. “I’d feel bad.”

“They all seem to be having a good time,” Myungsoo spoke before taking a drink. His eyes lingered on the . Sungyeol wondered what he was thinking, knowing Myungsoo it could be a lot or it could be nothing at all. Did he really want to know?

No, it was better to talk about the bizarre than themselves. “But that girl came already drunk to meet with her friends,” Sungyeol reminded the other with a stretch.“She might be having a good time now, but before then…”

“It could be just a bad day at work, like us,” Myungsoo interjected.

“Or a bad date,” Sungyeol countered. Now his eyes were lingering on the drunken girl, encouraging the others to drink, making the most noise. No, she wasn’t like Nam Woohyun, not to him.

“Didn’t you come across something like this once when you helped out at your parents’ place once?” Myungsoo brought up. “A guy got set up on a blind date by his friends and then got drunk and crashed his friends’ date to yell at them?”

Sungyeol quickly turned back to the other, as if he got caught looking at something he shouldn’t have. “Yeah, that happened. But it was a long time ago. I barely remember it,” he tried to brush over it.

But Myungsoo clung on. He was always a clinger. “The way you described that guy was really funny. I can still visualize it! The guy could barely stand upright, but he was holding a miniature concert right in the middle of the restaurant. I can see him holding a bottle with a spoon in it, singing. Wah! It was amazing how he could hit all of those notes when he was so drunk that he could barely open his eyes,” now Myungsoo was laughing at the memory of the crazy story. So crazy that he probably wouldn’t have believed it was true if it weren’t for the…“Do you still have that video?”

“No, I deleted it,” Sungyeol replied before he finished the question. “I, uh, was running out of memory.”

“Pity. It was funny,” Myungsoo accepted. “But I guess you need the space for more Aga photos, right?” he teased. 

Sungyeol smiled in relief. “Eung,” he hummed as he pulled out his phone. “You should’ve seen her this morning. She was looking at me with her big eyes and…”

“I did see,” Myungsoo interjected. “I was right next to you.”

“Ah, right,” Sungyeol muttered as he put the phone back down. “She’s a cutie. Isn’t she?”

Myungsoo nodded and resumed drinking. Ah, the conversation died down again. Sungyeol stretched once more, reclining back in his chair. He cast a glance back at the college . The boy was excusing himself to go to the bathroom, leaving the two girls behind. The drunk one had begun crying. Why? Why was she so sad?

“Did he ever stop by again?”

Sungyeol clenched his jaw. “I don’t help out my parents much anymore.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Myungsoo grumbled. “We’re both busy. At the firm. It’s hard to do anything else.”

“Even date,” Sungyeol added. It was true. Most of their date nights have become a quick bite or drink before going to the other’s place. So mundane. He drained his glass. “After this, do you want to get going?”

“Eung,” Myungsoo agreed. He cast a glance back at the college kids and asked his boyfriend, “Can we stay at your place tonight?”

“Sure,” Sungyeol replied as he helped the other out of his seat. Myungsoo was a little wobbly tonight. He had drunken more than Sungyeol thought.

But his eyes were still on the college kids. “Oh, Sungyeol! Look!” he hissed. Sungyeol looked back just in time to see the two girls, now snuggled up together. One was wiping away the tears from the other and snuck a quick kiss to cheer her up. “We were wrong.”

“I didn’t even consider it.” 

Neither of them did, but it was honestly silly that they didn’t, being two gay men themselves. The signs were all there that the girls were a couple, but the men only saw what they wanted to see. And so they couldn’t see the truth.

The truth. It was keeping Sungyeol wide awake that night. He was in his bed with Myungsoo, who was fast asleep, clinging to his side. Always clinging. He was a clinger, Sungyeol had always known that. He’d always tolerated it, but now, all of the sudden, he couldn’t. Because not only was Myungsoo pinning him down but so was the truth. 

Why did he lie? Why were they lying? Sungyeol couldn’t take the lying anymore and so he pulled himself away from the other and sat up in his bed. He grabbed the phone from the nightstand and searched through it.

There it was: the video that he claimed didn’t exist anymore. And it started to play. “!” Sungyeol hissed as he locked his phone again. Clutching it to his chest, he hazard a glance down at the other. Myungsoo was still sleeping. Thank god that man could sleep through an air raid and a cell phone at full volume. He even slept through Sungyeol sneaking out of the bedroom.

Sungyeol was now crouched down in a corner of his apartment, the farthest corner from Kim Myungsoo, which happened to be right next to the front door. With Aga in his lap, he lowered the phone’s volume and played the video again.

He could only get through the first three seconds this time. He’d caught himself smiling. He shouldn’t be smiling.

He put the phone down and talked to the poodle in his lap, “, Aga, I really ed up.”

“Oh, what’s up?” 

Woohyun wasn’t expecting visitors this Saturday morning, and he surely wasn’t expecting Lee Sungyeol at his doorstep with bugged out eyes and his shoes on the wrong feet. Woohyun had a vague inkling that something was wrong. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him.“Wait, what’s wrong? Is Myungsoo with you?” he searched around the rooftop.

“No, it’s just me. I came alone,” Sungyeol spat out. “So can I come in?” He was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Woohyun eyed him curiously and then looked over at the rooftop apartment across the alley. A window was open. Myungsoo was home. Woohyun looked down at his watch. Weird, it was early, and from his extensive and habitual spying, Myungsoo didn’t spend the night at his apartment, which probably meant that he was with Sungyeol, who was now here alone. And Myungsoo was now spending this lovely Saturday morning kicked out of his lover’s place and back at his own.

What the hell was going on? 

When he looked back over at Sungyeol, the man was now sitting on the wooden pallet, knees bouncing. Yeah, something about all of this wasn’t right. 

But Woohyun was trying his best to act normal, unsuspecting. “Just you?” he asked again. Sungyeol nodded. Woohyun let out a feigned gasp, “You came here just to see me?”

“Eung,” Sungyeol appeared to calm down. There was a faint smile on his face now. “Can’t I? Don’t act like I’ve never come here to visit you before.”

“Yeah, but not lately,” Woohyun scoffed, leaning against his door.

And Sungyeol eyed that door suspiciously. “What about you? Are you alone?” he asked.

Woohyun sighed, “Always.”

“Liar,” Sungyeol spat. He laid down on the pallet, eyes closed. “You’re with…that Sunggyu guy most of the time. Are you guys dating or something?” His eyes were now open and on Woohyun.

“No,” the other quickly denied. “He’s just more available, unlike someone.”

Sungyeol sat up straight. There was a strange glint in his eye. Concern? Jealousy? He must’ve noticed that Woohyun noticed and forced on a smile. “Eh, are you getting jealous because I’m spending more time with Myungsoo than you?” Sungyeol teased.

Woohyun shifted. “No.”

“Yeah, let’s go with that,” other spoke with a groan as he laid back down. “I know you, Nam Woohyun. You’re one jealous mother er,”

He really had no idea. “Yah, Lee Sungyeol.” Woohyun had finally lifted himself from the door and walked up to the other. He was now kicking his friend’s foot. “Why are you here?”

Sungyeol brought up his legs and to his side. “I...I wanted to see you.”

“Then look at me,” Woohyun remarked. Sungyeol immediately turned back around and looked up. Oh god, why did he look so guilt ridden? Woohyun loomed over the other. “Why are you here? Your eyes were practically bulging out of your head a moment ago. What’s got you so freaked?” 

“I...I ed up,” Sungyeol stammered.

“ed up?!” Woohyun repeated. He then sat down next to his friend who immediately recoiled. And for the first time, Woohyun noticed that Sungyeol was clutching onto his phone. His knuckles were white. “How so?” Sungyeol was still silent. So Woohyun poked at his side. “What did you do?! I swear to Jesus and Buddha and Messi, if you did what I think you did...”

“What are you thinking of?” Sungyeol shouted. He was now standing on the far edge of the pallet, away from Woohyun. “Sunggyu told you, didn’t he? Eh, what am I saying? Of course you know. You guys are good friends, really…close,”

“,” Woohyun cursed as he jumped onto the pallet and grabbed his friend by the collar. “I’m going to kill the both of you! Swimming lessons?! I can’t believe I fell for that. It was such an obvious lie. I can’t believe you cheated on Kim Myungsoo! Of all people!”

“W-wait wait wait WAIT!” Sungyeol yelled as he pulled the other off of him. He had stepped off from the pallet and was now by Woohyun’s door, panting. “What the are you talking about? I didn’t do anything! I didn’t cheat! I swear!” Woohyun stepped down and got closer to him. This time Sungyeol didn’t back down. He got closer too, until their chests met. Lee Sungyeol looked down at the tiny man, confused. “Man...Did you seriously think I cheated on him? With Sunggyu?”

Now Woohyun backed off and dropped his gaze to the floor. “Well, yeah, obviously.” Wasn’t that what he just screamed in the other’s face? , here came the guilt. He had just thought the worst of his two closest friends. 

“Why?”

Well, that was exactly what Woohyun was asking himself. “You said that you ed up, and you two have been...doing weird things together. What am I supposed to think?” he reasoned. “If it’s not cheating, then what is it?”

“First, let’s go inside. I can’t talk about this out here,” Sungyeol leaned in and whispered to the other. His eyes drifted over to the apartment across the way. Woohyun followed. ing hell, Woohyun forgot that the window was open, and he just shouted a bunch of stupid, false . He wanted to apologize, but Sungyeol already had the door of the apartment opened and was pulling Woohyun inside. “Second, sit your down and stay. You’re making me anxious.” Sungyeol said, closing the door behind him. And Woohyun obediently sat down. “Third,” Sungyeol walked over and slapped him. “That’s for thinking I’d cheat. And fourth...I’m getting us a drink.”

Woohyun whimpered as he cradled his red cheek. Yeah, he deserved that. He deserved to feel and be treated like . But…god, this was friggin’ frustrating. What else was he supposed to think when the both of them were being so sus? When they wouldn’t tell him anything?

Sungyeol came back and pressed a cold can against the red cheek. Woohyun took it and carefully watched the other sit down and open his own drink. Sungyeol’s eyes were incredibly wide again, and he missed his mouth while drinking. So ing sus.

“Are you gonna tell me now? You’re making  me anxious,” Woohyun broke the silence.

Sungyeol sighed and dabbed his cheek with his sleeve. “I don’t know how to describe how I feel, besides I genuinely feel like…I ed everything up,” he confessed again.

This was going nowhere. “How so?” Woohyun prodded.

“You know that weird saying: a flap of a butterfly’s wings could cause a hurricane. I’m that ing butterfly. And I feel like I ed things up for everyone,” Sungyeol was still being cryptic, but Woohyun sputtered into a laugh. “What’s so funny?” 

“Sungyeol smells like…Butterflies. Hm, yup definitely butterflies. He ing smells like butterflies. I can't tell you why, but he just does. ing butterflies.”

Woohyun waved and tried to wash Sunggyu’s voice from his memory. He coughed, trying to settle himself back down. “Ah no, it’s nothing. I’m being rude.” This time he slapped his own face. Badly done Woohyun. “Continue. Just how did you over everyone.”

Sungyeol took in a deep breath and let it all out. “By being impatient.” He steamrolled through. If he wasn’t going to get this out now, he might not ever. “I jumped the gun. If I’d just waited a little longer…”

“Then what? What would’ve happened?” Woohyun interjected into the pause Sungyeol left.

He’d paused because this was really difficult for him to admit: “I don’t think I would’ve confessed to Myungsoo at all.”

“Why? Why do you say that?”

Sungyeol stopped to drink. His hand was shaking, so he spilled it again. Woohyun reckoned that he should grab some tissues. Sungyeol was devolving into a mess, and Woohyun wasn’t the only one who cried easily. When he came back with them, Sungyeol grabbed a handful. No tears yet, but he needed something in his hands that he couldn’t spill. He pulled apart the tissue as he continued, “I don’t know if he’s told you this. , I don’t know if he even remembers, but I met Kim Sunggyu before. A bit before Myungsoo was discharged.” He looked up at his friend. “Did you know?”

Woohyun grabbed some tissues himself, pulling them apart. “Sort of?” 

“Sort of?” Sungyeol repeated with a scoff. He then let out a great sigh. “How much does he remember? Does he even care?”

“He does,” Woohyun replied. But the glint in Sungyeol’s still wide eyes and the slight upward tick of his lips, made Woohyun realize that he shouldn’t have. It wasn’t his place. He cleared his throat, looking at the tissue in his hand. “Sunggyu didn’t tell me the story. Hyung does that sometimes, when he wants to be friggin’ cool and coy. Poser,” Woohyun sneered. He then shrugged and looked up at his friend. “So I really don’t know much about it. Hyung only told me you guys met after I brought him to your parents’ place.”

“So he  does remember me,” the glint grew brighter as his eyes darted all over the place. They then fell on Woohyun, confused, “But...I don’t get it. He didn’t even acknowledge me. It didn’t look like he remembered. Are you sure?”

This was dangerous territory. Should Woohyun being having this conversation, with everything that he knew? “I don’t know.” 

This ing butterfly was really going to cause a storm.

“Right, he probably remembered later that we’d met before. He was pretty drunk at the time, both times. I shouldn’t have expected…” Sungyeol let that hang in the air. He groaned and slumped against the table. “And it’s not like I acknowledged him either. Maybe I should have just...done it. But, , it’s too late. It already was too late. I was dating Myungsoo. Now things are awkward.” He hid his face in the crook of his neck.

“But you guys seem...cool now.” After all that was the word that Sunggyu liked to use best with Sungyeol, ‘cool.’

If only he could see that ‘cool’ guy now. Sungyeol couldn’t hold a can steadily, his eyes were popping out, and his ears were as red as his hair.

“No, we aren’t,” Sungyeol groaned, pulling himself back up. “It’s awkward. ing awkward.”

“Sungyeol,” Woohyun started. As much as he knew, Woohyun was missing a crucial piece to this puzzle: what the happened between them? Sure, Sunggyu was stuck in a one-sided love, which he wasn’t accustomed to, so it was driving him nuts. But Sungyeol? Was he really losing his over Kim Sunggyu? When he already had…

No, he was getting worked up. Sungyeol came here because he needed a friend. And so Woohyun was going to be a good friend: “If you want advice from me, then you have to tell me everything. What exactly happened that night? From what I know, hyung was drunk and stumbled into your restaurant with his friends. That’s it. But I  know that more had to happen between you than just that.”

“Looking back on it, it doesn’t seem like much, but…” Sungyeol puffed up his cheeks and let it all out. “This was what happened.”

That night, Sungyeol was just helping out at the bar at his parents’ place. It was getting late, and this was normally a place for a first round and not a second or third. So there was barely anyone there, except for some weirdos who liked to linger until closing. And boy, there were some weirdos that night.

There was a tiny guy who’d come in with a very tall girl with hair shorter than her boyfriend. Sungyeol did a doubletake to make sure who was the boy and the girl in the couple, not like it matter, but he was a curious guy. And that curiosity was piqued when a man barged into the place, swinging the doors open, huffing, puffing and glaring. Once he found his friends, the couple, he marched right over and started ranting about this, that, and the other, everything all at once. It was incoherent, as the man was already drunk, but it was hilarious, to the couple and to Sungyeol.

Sungyeol had always liked dualities. So there was something alluring about a man in a tidy suit with messy hair and rosy drunken cheeks. Something put together, falling apart in front of his eyes.

If Sungyeol was a good son, he should’ve kicked the drunk out for disorderly conduct. But instead, he threw on an apron and walked over to serve them.

The drunk was of course Sunggyu, who was griping endlessly about his failed blind date. His friend, Minseok, was trying to get him to shut up so that they could order. Sunggyu suddenly stopped and finally acknowledged the waiter. 

“Oh! Your head is on fire!”

Sungyeol instinctively patted his head, feeling nothing but hair. And the drunk is just giggling to himself like he’d just told the best joke in history. Sungyeol couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Maybe the waiter would’ve made for a better date,” Minseok joked. “He actually laughed at your lame joke.”

Sunggyu leered at the waiter, eyeing him up and down. “And he’s…tall.”

“Ignore him,” Minseok spoke lowly to Sungyeol. “He just had a bad date.”

“He called me an ,” Sunggyu whined. “We only met 5 minutes earlier. How do you know I’m an ? You psychic !”

“Well,” Minseok’s girlfriend started, but he covered . They didn’t want to set the drunk off again. But Sunggyu didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy staring at Sungyeol again. He then covered his eyes when Sungyeol caught him. What a child, a drunken child in a suit, wearing a Rolex…what a  rich , drunken child.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Sungyeol offered untying his apron and draping it on a nearby chair.

“Wouldn’t mind what?”

“Being his date for the night,” Sungyeol clarified. “I’ll still serve you, but do you mind if I sit with you?”

The couple looked at each other and then to Sunggyu who was nodding his head so hard that it might roll right off.

“Okay.”

But it was more than okay. It was great. After talking with Sunggyu for 5 minutes, yes Sungyeol could see why some may call him an , but after 10, it was like talking to a long lost friend. It also helped that Sungyeol was drinking now. Not much, but enough to say and do things a completely sober Sungyeol wouldn’t, including starting a ‘concert’ in the middle of his family’s restaurant. But there was no one else there, and he wanted to show off his Freddie Mercury impression.

Why? Because putting a smile on that little drunk man’s face gave him a rush, like water-skiing for the very first time. And it’d been a long time since a person made him feel that way and not a sport.

To make it worse, Sungyeol fell fast and hard for people. Things quickly escalated from curiosity to infatuation to romantic feelings. And the alcohol only accelerated it. He blushed more quickly and brightly. He got tongue tied. His heart was on his sleeve, ripe for the picking.

And Sunggyu was arrogant enough to believe that anyone who showed the slightest interest was already madly in love with him.

It was a recipe for the world’s worst romance.

“I’m going to kiss you...when I don’t feel like vomiting.” That line should not have worked. It should never work on anybody, especially when some said it so out of breath. 

But it did. “I wouldn’t mind, if you did it now,” Sungyeol was acting all shy, in spite of being stripped down to his undershirt and with a thin mustache drawn over his lip (all in the name of Freddie Mercury). 

“I do. The thought of your tongue…” Sunggyu suddenly hunched over a nearby chair and began dry heaving.

Sungyeol roared into laughter. “Did you almost throw up at the thought of us kissing?” 

“No,” now Sunggyu was shy. He looked up at the other with glassy eyes, and then immediately began dry heaving again. “I didn’t mean to,” he muttered when he was finally able to collect himself. He was holding himself steady on the chair, raking his hand through his hair. Half of it stayed standing up straight. Somehow cool and lame, all at once.

“ing adorable.” 

“Huh?” 

“Sunggyu-hyung! We got to go! Come on,” Minseok called to his friend.

“I’ll come back! I promise! I am gonna come back and we’re gonna…”

“Come on, hyung, let’s go!” Minseok yanked Sunggyu away and out of the establishment.

That was the last thing that Sunggyu had said to Sungyeol for months. And for months, Sungyeol had waited. But he never came, but Myungsoo did. He came back from his service and Sungyeol was so so so happy to see him. He loved to see him and hang out with him again. And maybe he just loved him.

Sungyeol was very aware that he fell fast and quick, so he built safeguards. He was wary. He’d been wary about his feelings for Myungsoo for years. And now, with Sunggyu, Sungyeol had chalked it up to a drunken one night stand of sorts. It was already over.

So he might as well start something with Myungsoo, whom he still liked so very much.

But then, a few days after things became official with Myungsoo, Woohyun came into the restaurant with none other than Kim Sunggyu, sober this time (for a short while). And all of those feelings that he tried to put an end to came right back.

He had to excuse himself for a moment and go outside into the back alley way. 

“STILL ING ADORABLE!”

Of course, he didn’t say all of this to Woohyun, only the salient parts. He also left out the Freddie Mercury bit because that was another can of worms that he wasn’t going to open. But he did show Woohyun the video of Sunggyu singing, using a bottle as a microphone. His only proof that this night had actually happened and it wasn’t all one fever dream.

After watching the video, Woohyun handed the phone back to his friend, straight-faced. “So you guys nearly hooked up,” he concluded.

“Aish,” Sungyeol winced. “I don’t like how that sounds, but I guess? I don’t know what else to call it.”

Woohyun did: “A fated meeting.”

“No, you cheesy ,” Sungyeol argued. Why did that sound even worse to him? “It’s just…” he looked down and brushed his thumb over a still frame in the video. “We just met.”

“Sungyeol, do have feelings for Sunggyu?” Woohyun cut straight to the point.

“Do I?” Sungyeol was still wary. He had to be. He could really everything up. “I don’t know. Can you really fall for someone who’s drunk out of his mind?”

“If anyone could, it would be you,” Woohyun wasn’t teasing. That was what he genuinely thought. And if Sungyeol really liked this gross and annoying side of Sunggyu, then he was already a lost cause.

Sungyeol knew it too. “Probably,” he muttered with a sad laugh.

“What about Myungsoo?”

“Myungsoo,” Sungyeol closed his eyes as he said the name. Thinking about him ached his heart and his head. “He’s...very dear to me. I want to keep him close. I love him. I do, but…”

“But?” Woohyun wasn’t going to let him stop.

“I’m still trying to figure things out,” Sungyeol grumbled into his hands. The trouble was that every time Sungyeol tried to think about Myungsoo, he’d quickly get overwhelmed with this one invasive thought: what if he hadn’t confessed.

Woohyun now broke into his thoughts with a hum. He was thinking deeply and rubbing his neck. “But you think that not telling hyung about that night was a mistake.” 

“Yes, it made things awkward,” Sungyeol stated.

“What would’ve happened if you did?” Woohyun pressed.

“Things would be less awkward.”

“How?”

“They just would be!” Sungyeol’s voice echoed in the small room. Woohyun lifted his hands in the air and his jaw clenched. He was biting his tongue. He probably wanted to press more on the Myungsoo issue again, but Woohyun was a good enough friend to know when to stop. Sungyeol sighed again, for the billionth time today. “I just need to sort this out.”

“I...don’t think you should break up with Myungsoo,” Woohyun spoke slowly. Sungyeol could tell it was from the heart because Woohyun was being all sulky about it. “You guys have seen each other through a lot. You know each other really well. I don’t think anyone can know you better.” He brought up one of the torn bits of tissue and dabbed his eyes with it. What did he have to cry about? Woohyun then puffed his cheeks and continued. “Sunggyu is my best friend. I love him like a brother. But is he really worth giving up what you have now? Is he worth losing Myungsoo over?”

Sungyeol winced. What a ing storm. “That’s the question, isn’t it?” he grumbled. He then glanced over at his friend. “If I don’t do anything, then will you…”

Ah, no, he shouldn’t ask that.

“What are you going on about?”

“Aish. Nevermind. It’s none of my business,” Sungyeol was frustrated and ruffled his hair, making himself look even more like a mess.

“I’ll get you another,” Woohyun offered, pointing at the empty can.

“No, I should get going,” Sungyeol spoke and got up from the table. As he was putting on his shoes, he put a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell Myungsoo about any of this, okay? I’ll tell him myself.”

“Everything?” Woohyun was skeptical, but given everything, Sungyeol couldn’t blame him.

“Eung.”

“Then I won’t say a thing,” Woohyun promised, leaning against the wall of the entryway.

Sungyeol felt a real smile crack across his stiff face. He patted the other on the shoulder. “Thanks for being a good friend.”

What  was he going to tell Myungsoo? Surely not everything. Not that being with Myungsoo made him feel like he’s not enough. Even after all of this time, Myungsoo still seemed too perfect for him. Yes, they were best friends and got along well, but occasionally, Myungsoo would inflame his insecurities. Sungyeol was a petty and jealous creature too. It would and already has cause issued

Sungyeol wouldn’t tell Myungsoo that he didn’t know if he could love Myungsoo in the way that he wanted to be loved. And to be honest, he wasn’t really a fan of how Myungsoo loved him. They were speaking two different love languages.

He wouldn’t tell Myungsoo that he liked the way Sunggyu made him feel. Sunggyu was obviously flawed like he was and never made him feel inferior. With Sunggyu, Sungyeol felt needed. Heck, he was actually a  good influence. He’s never been a good influence on anybody. He could get Sunggyu to do things that he hated. Sungyeol wanted to write “taught Sunggyu to swim” on his tombstone because it would be one of his life’s greatest accomplishments. 

Sungyeol had heard that love could make you a better person. He feels like he could do that for Sunggyu.

And Sunggyu could do that for him. As weird as it might be, Sunggyu’s friendship with Woohyun also made him attractive. He saw Sunggyu deftly deal with Woohyun’s bull and calm him down. Sunggyu would remind him that they were in public and not to be an embarrassing little . So Sunggyu could do that for Sungyeol too, reprimand him when he needed it. Remind him of things, when he took things too far. Tell him that it’s okay to lose a menial competition. Tell him things that Myungsoo would never dare do because he was too gentle. 

Sunggyu was the facade of perfection, but he was a mess underneath it all. That was what made him perfect to Sungyeol

But Sungyeol couldn’t tell Myungsoo all of that.

So what was he going to say?

As it would turn out, nothing. For now. They hadn’t run into each other at the firm, and Myungsoo never reached out to him all day. 

Rather than being suspicious, because his mind was already overloaded, Sungyeol was grateful. However, because his mind was so overloaded and overworked, his feet had brought him straight to Myungsoo’s place after work. Should he go inside? The light was on.

Nah, the light for the drinking tent shone brighter. So he followed it. From a butterfly to a moth.

And straight to hell.

Sunggyu was already there, alone. Head in his hands and an empty bottle already on the table. He was going to call for another one when he noticed Sungyeol at the entrance.

“You drinking again?” Sungyeol asked as he pulled up a chair to the small round table.

“Again?” Sunggyu mocked. “Do you have to say it like that? Like it’s a bad thing? And I suppose that you’re just here for…” his eyes were fixed on the table. “, I can’t even think of what food they serve here.” He glanced up at the other. “You get the point.”

“Don’t drink so much, hyung,” Sungyeol chided, and he wasn’t going to stop because of the other’s nasty glare. “Or at least don’t drink alone.”

The auntie came right in time with a fresh bottle and two glasses. Sunggyu put the glass in front of the other with a thud. “Now, I’m not.” He then reined in his sass. “This, this is my only form of release.”

Sungyeol in his cheeks, holding a lot back, but he let out: “Do you really have that much stress?”

“Hard to say,” the other spoke with a shrug. “Probably no more than the average person but...it feels like a lot.”

Sungyeol leaned over the table and whispered, “You should get a hobby.”

“I did!” Sunggyu insisted. “Look!” He then opened the soju bottle with one of those fancy tricks that you only see your uncle do at family gatherings. “Practically a pro!” but he was proud of it and poured the both of them drinks.

Sungyeol, however, put his hand over the other’s glass before he could lift it. “Get a real hobby, hyung.”

Sunggyu slapped away the hand. “Like what? Waterskiing?” he sneered and took the shot.
“Eung,” Sungyeol hummed and sipped on his own glass, eyeing the other as he went for a refill.

“I could kill myself going waterskiing or slowly kill myself like this,” Sunggyu joked raising the glass. “I’ll choose this.”

It was a joke, Sungyeol told himself. It was a joke, but in jokes there were often truths, right? “Do you want to die?” he had to ask. “The way you phrased that sounded like you did.”

“Hard to say,” Sunggyu’s light tone made all the more painful to Sungyeol’s ears (and heart).

“Of course it is,” Sungyeol’s voice was low. He reached over and placed his hand on the other’s arm. “But you can tell me. I’m your friend, right?”

Sunggyu looked down at that hand and scoffed. “I’m not suicidal.” He patted the hand before peeling it off. “Don’t worry. I’m going to live for a long time.” 

“In any case, a little food won’t hurt,” Sungyeol suggested and put in an order for them. While he did that, Sunggyu was still drinking.“You know, when we first met, you were drunk.” Sunggyu froze with the glass to his lips. It spilled all down his shirt. Since he was busy cleaning himself up, Sungyeol decided that it was a good time if any to finally have this conversation: “I don’t know if you remember that night because you -out or something, but I remember. Eh, what am I saying? You don’t remember, at least not everything, but we met like four months before Woohyun introduced us. You came into my parents’ place with some short kid...some short kid that wasn’t Woohyun and a really tall girl. I think she was around my height. But that doesn’t matter, anyway, you stumbled in, completely pissed and…”

“I remember,” Sunggyu interjected. His eyes were wide and clear. “I remember everything . I said that your hair was on fire.”

“You did,” for some reason, that caught Sungyeol off guard. Sunggyu really did remember. But… “If you remembered then why didn’t you tell me earlier? Hyung, why didn’t you say anything?” he whined.

“I didn’t think you remembered!” Sunggyu spat back.

“How could I forget? You were ridiculous!” Sungyeol exclaimed. “And I have a good memory.”

“I know that now ,” Sunggyu defended. He then sighed and turned his attention back to his glass. “But it doesn’t matter anyway, you’re with Myungsoo. Shin-mol-nam Kim Myungsoo.” The gods had truly given that man everything. After a heavy sigh, Sunggyu lifted his glass to the other. “Congrats,” he spoke lifelessly and clinked his glass against the other’s. Sunggyu drank it all in one shot.

Sungyeol might as well follow suit. He felt like a one-shot. “Cheers to you too then.”

Sunggyu stiffened. “Why?”

“To you and Woohyun,” Sungyeol toasted and downed it all. He in a breath before adding, “Woohyun denied it, but he’s a ing liar. You guys are dating. If not, it seems like you could or...will. Probably already hooked up, right? I can sense these things. You guys are good together.”

“No!” Sunggyu recoiled as if you suggested he’d date his sister. “No, no, we’re totally not together. It’s ing gross just thinking about it,” he admantly denied, nearly knocking off the bottles from the table with all of his gesturing. “We are just two frigging lonely losers hanging out together and .” 

“You’re not a loser,” Sungyeol fought back. He still didn’t buy into the ‘we’re not dating’ bit.

“But I lost,” Sunggyu declared with a sad smile. “I...am a loser.”

Somehow, that smile, Sunggyu’s general demeanor finally convinced him. “. You guys really aren’t dating.”

Sunggyu shrugged. “Can’t two gay men just hang out? Be bros? And love each other platonically?”

“I guess,” Sungyeol drawled out. Well, there went his theory that Sunggyu pretended not to know him for Woohyun’s sake. But if it wasn’t for Woohyun’s sake...then it must’ve been for Sunggyu’s own sake. Woohyun always said that Sunggyu had an insane sense of self-preservation. Was that it? Was he just too embarrassed to admit it happened? Or was he a coward? Wait, Sunggyu was a big ing coward! Then what was he so afraid of? Sungyeol frowned and cocked his head, “But then…”

“What?” 

Sungyeol refilled his glass. He needed a bit more courage before asking: “Hyung, if you remembered this whole time, then why didn’t you come back to see me?”

There it was. Embarrassment coated Sunggyu’s ears in red. Probably his cheeks too, but Sunggyu had already covered his face. “I met you because I was drunk and I couldn’t see you again because I was too ing pissed to remember where the place was,” his voice was muffled through his hands. He then put them down, but his eyes stayed on the table. “I looked for four months, nearly went to every damn chicken place in Seoul. And you were right under my ing nose the whole time.” 

“Four months?” Sungyeol repeated because he could hardly believe it. “You looked for that long?”

Sunggyu rubbed his neck and shifted in his seat. “I mean, it wasn’t like a constant search, but...yes.”

“Wow,” Sungyeol muttered lowly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t,” Sunggyu pleaded. “Don’t say anything. You have Myungsoo. He’s a better man than I’ll ever be. He doesn’t drink nearly as much.” His laugh was as bitter as the soju.

“It’s just...four months?! What the were you doing?” Sungyeol was fixated on that because: “Didn’t Woohyun tell you about me? He had to have!” Sunggyu groaned and nearly hit his head against the table. “He talks non-stop! And he’d wanna help…”

“He did,” Sunggyu admitted with his cheek pressed against the table. Why did he always end up in this position? “But I didn’t think his friend would end up to be you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a ing moron!” he shouted.

“Hyung!” Sungyeol hissed and slapped his hand over the other’s mouth. He scanned the area to see if anybody noticed. Everyone did. , just how long has everyone been watching them? Sungyeol sat down back in his seat.

“I’m fine,” Sunggyu insisted, but Sungyeol doubted that. His laugh showed it, but Sunggyu ignored it. “And you’re fine too. If Woohyun were here, he would say that...it wasn’t fated. We weren’t fated. The timing was bad for a reason.”

Sungyeol frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t believe in fate.”

“I don’t really either, but,” Sunggyu suddenly got up from the table. He’d reached his limit, of Sungyeol and not booze. He grabbed the rest of the bottle to-go. “It seems to be that way. Whether we believe in it or not,” he said to the other before shouting at the auntie: “Imo! Put this all...on Woohyun’s tab.” With that, he was out of the tent.

“Imo, forget what he said, I’m paying,” Sungyeol told her. “Oh, and one more bottle!” He slunk down in his chair. “I can’t believe he left with it.”

Suddenly he heard the tent flaps open dramatically again. Sungyeol stiffened. Was it really?

It was.

“ing Woohyun probably told you about me too! We’re flipping best friends and !” Sunggyu stormed back to the table, yelling.

Sungyeol stood up quickly, knocking his chair over. “I didn’t think his Sunggyu would be you!” he defended himself. “There’s a lot of Sunggyus out there!”

“Right here!” a man’s voice piped up from the other side of the tent. It was a very tall man in glasses, looking all too cheerful to into this situation. “I’m a Sunggyu too! Jang Sunggyu. Nice to meet you!”

“See,” Sungyeol gestured over to the new Sunggyu. “I thought Woohyun’s Sunggyu would be a dweeb like him.”

“Hey,” Jang Sunggyu interjected again.

“Who would’ve thought that Woohyun would’ve had friends like us?” Sungyeol tried to bring levity back, tried to snap this tension, tried to make the other stay.

“We didn’t,” Sunggyu wouldn’t allow it. His frown deepened. Oh no! Kim Sunggyu was thinking! This wasn’t good. “Probably for a reason.”

“Because Woohyun’s a nerd?” Sungyeol tried again.

“Because we weren’t supposed to be…anything,” that was the conclusion all of Sunggyu’s nasty thinking came to. “And now we aren’t anything. So I’m going to go now. For real. So...yeah.” He raised his hand as a pitiful goodbye, the bottle still tucked under his arm.

“Mother ing fate, the twisted ,” Sungyeol grumbled as he bent over to pick up his chair. “Are we or are we not?” he sat down with a huff. “Never mind, Imo! Put it all on Woohyun’s tab!”

This was all Woohyun’s fault. Him and his stupid fate

This night was full of twists and turns. Sungyeol didn’t know where he would end up next. But apparently his feet only knew how to go to one place.

He was laying outside of Myungsoo’s door, on the wooden pallet. Sungyeol had to admit. It was a lot nicer than Woohyun’s. There were plants along the sides and a pillow. It gave off a nice atmosphere. Sungyeol actually felt calm. 

“Sungyeollie, what are you doing here?” 

Well, there was always a calm before the storm.

Sungyeol sat up as Myungsoo sat down next to him and gave him the usual sniff. Myungsoo winced. “You’re not drunk, are you?”

“No, but I’ve been drinking,” he confessed. “Where have you been?”

Myungsoo showed his black bag. “The store.” Well, that didn’t really explain why Myungsoo was so uncommunicative all day, but Sungyeol didn’t want to be the pot calling the kettle black. So he took the bag and searched through it. He whistled. “I thought you weren’t a fan of ice cream.”

Myungsoo took the bag back. “I was in the mood for something sweet.” He then tossed an ice cream to the other as he opened his own.

Something sweet to chase down the bitter taste in his mouth, and the bitter words there too. “Myungsoo,” Sungyeol started. “ You believe in fate, right?”

He nodded. “Eung, to an extent.”

“How does it work? How do you think it works?” Sungyeol asked. “Like does it just happen? Or can it still be fate if you make it happen?”

Myungsoo tilted his head. “Huh?”

Sungyeol sat facing the other. He put his ice cream down as he gestured his way through his thoughts. “Isn’t fate supposed to be like when everything falls into place and we don’t have to do anything?”

“Well, sometimes,” Myungsoo muttered as he mulled it over.

Sungyeol leaned in excitedly. “Sometimes? Only sometimes?”

“Uh, yes?” Myungsoo was taken aback by this sudden interest. There were a lot of times when he tried to have a conversation like this, very theoretical and philosophical. But Sungyeol liked to work with the concrete and not the abstracts. They were freaking accountants after all! The deepest conversation that they ever had was discussing if monkeys could ever make good pets.

So Myungsoo (sadly) seemed excited by the opportunity, not knowing where it led. “Like...if you’re fated to be a singer because you have the talent, you still need to work on it and put yourself out there,” he explained.

“Oh, okay,” Sungyeol tried to soak in all of that and concluded. “So if it’s fated, then it doesn’t always mean that it’s easy.”

“Exactly,” Myungsoo said with a snap of his fingers.

“So that means it can be hurtful?” Sungyeol postured. “Like if I pursued something, and I hurt someone in the process, then that doesn’t mean that it’s not fated?” He frowned, not knowing if he worded that right.

Myungsoo sputtered into a laugh. “Can you live life without hurting anyone?” he challenged.

“I guess not.”

Myungsoo sighed and looked up at the sky. “If it was meant to be, it might hurt at the moment, but in the long run things will be fine.” He looked over at the other. “That’s what I really think.”

“What about...with love though? Is it still like that?” Sungyeol asked. Myungsoo scrunched his face, not knowing what to say. Sungyeol snapped his finger. “See! Look at your face! I don’t think it is. Like with soul mates and that bull? That’s not supposed to bring anyone pain, does it?” He waited for Myungsoo to answer, but it felt like it was taking too long, even for Myungsoo.“I knew it. Fate is all about timing. If the timing doesn't match, then it's not fated, right?” He picked up his ice cream again and continued eating it.

“Timing?” Myungsoo repeated. In reality, it was taking him so long to answer because he was trying to follow Sungyeol’s train of thoughts, where this all was heading. “Timing is something different entirely.”

“Eh?” Sungyeol nearly dropped his ice cream. “Isn’t timing and fate the same thing?”

“No...but yes,” Myungsoo sputtered into a laugh. He didn’t like being so contradictory but he was struggling with the right words. “They’re different, but they are the same, at least to me.”

“How so?”

“You’re talking about relationships, right?” Myungsoo was finally following. And he knew what to say, “If your fated love life was like a line, then there’s times when it can intersect or become parallel with a person. It might take some time until they’re ready to become one.” He was gesturing with his hands, drawing a fate diagram for the concrete-thinker to follow. Myungsoo finished with a soft smile. “I like those kinds of stories.”

“Okay say that there are three lines,” Sungyeol proposed. Myungsoo choked on his ice cream.

“Like a triangle?” he asked with a hoarse voice.

“No, we’re talking about lines, not shapes,” Sungyeol snapped. “Anyway,” he lifted up his hands to draw his own diagram. “These two are parallel for now, and they intersect sometimes. Can this line leave and join this other parallel line over here?”

“Sungyeol,” Myungsoo called to him and took both of the other’s hands into his own. “What is this really about?” He’d reached his limit with Sungyeol too.

“Lines,” Sungyeol tried to avoid the topic one last time. “And fate.”

“Sungyeol,” no one would let him.

“Myungsoo,” he began as he wiggled his hands out of the other’s. He drew his line diagram again. “You are this line. I am this line, but I wanna go over here with this line.” 

Myungsoo didn’t understand that at all. Who the would?

Sungyeol sighed and closed his eyes, hands still in the air. “We should break up.” 

“Wh-why?” 

“Because I like Sunggyu.”

COMING UP NEXT:

Is it really the end for these two lovebirds? Can two gay men just be bros and platonically love each other? Can this chapter BE any longer????

Sh! If you're quiet, you might hear voice clips from the next episode...

...

“Myungsoo, this is no time to be noble! Hit me!”

...

...

"You know, all triangles add up to 180 degrees, a straight line."

...

"I’m charging you by the minute, so make this cry a quick one."

...

"You smell horrible."