(Listening to Girlfriend by BIGBANG) 

"Key, I don't have free time this week, " Amber sighed, palming the cellphone closed to her left ear while turning over the book's page. "I have three killer papers for this final term and... you know I need to balance my time with Krystal as well," she added, scanning the subtopic thoroughly. 

"You guys just met like... three days ago? Don't tell me you'll be seeing her again tomorrow, Ber?" Key asked through the other line. 

"No... not tomorrow, Krystal now is in Paris, and besides, I promised Yebin we will complete our assignments together this weekend," Amber explained further. 

"What is your girl doing in Paris by the way???" 

The boyish grunted, "Haish! Do you need to know everything, Kibum?! I'm super busy right now, okay?! I got a halfway of the book to finish, and chatting with you like this, not helping of course!" 

Then the queer replied sarcastically, "Jesus, you're so sensitive all of sudden, Liu! Oh so now you're dating the most beautiful girl on Earth and I'm just an annoying statue for you?!" 

"Yah-yah, who's now sensitive???" Amber raised her voice a bit. "I told you already, I don't have enough time to hang out this week, isn't it?" 

"Ber..." Key pleaded, as his voice soften,

"Actually, it isn't me who wanting to see you to the death, okay? It's someone else," he blurted out which caught her attention. 

She asked, "Who?" 

"Someone... from your past," 

Amber shifted her head to Dahyun's side and ensured the girl is really sleeping before she breathed out desperately. "Don't mention it to me, Key. I probably know who's that person," 

"Solve everything at once, Ber... Or you might not get this chance again," Key persuaded. 

Amber pushed her mind to think first then she questioned, 

"What she wants from me, Key?" 

"I really don't know too," Amber heard a confusing tone from her cousin. 

"Let's be positive first, okay? Whatever she's gonna say to you next, don't ever think about it. You got nothing left to worry, Amber, because I can see, you're happier now.... Am I right, buddy?" 

The tomboy hummed as response when a little tint of past memory re-appeared. 

"Come over after your classes tomorrow, Ber. I told her, you'll be around somehow," said Key. 

In hesitation, Amber couldn't stop asking why in the world the girl from her past, out of the blue, willing to see her. Differently before, even a glimpse, that girl didn't dare to look on her way. 

And she heard Key again, 

"Make sure you have a clear mind too because my gut telling me that she will bring the past to have you back," 

***

(Listening to Justify by The Rasmus) 

Amber's POV 

Fear of past is the dark shadow that has been holding me from moving forward. Every time, whenever I recalled the memories, I feel the unbearable pain has stabbed deep beneath me. 

Once, I rejected the people from my past from crossing across my future, and I would try my best to forget them. 

Unintentionally, I felt guilty for what I did. 

The bus dropped me literally in 3 minutes-walking of distance to Key's bar and I didn't have any choice, but to walk further. 

I stepped in and Key's face was the first I sighted before I noticed the familiar tiny figure who's sitting near the counter island. 

I checked, I wore three layers clothes, adding the shawl, gift from Krystal- also enveloping my neck plus the exclusive boots I bought for the Spring Ball last time, but still, my body's shaking although it wasn't freezing temparature.

"Hi Amber," she turned around and greeted me. 

The same innocent smile that made me fallen for her before,was plestering over her face. Restraining expression, I fought to smile back as I took a place next to her. 

I looked up to interact with Key first, signalling him that I'm fine as I heard Minah's voice, 

"Thanks for buying me some time, Amber," 

"Yeah, it's alright. Sure welcome," I replied half-heartedly. "What about drink?" although I don't really fond the awkward moment, I still want to be polite. 

"Key, I'll have orange juice," then I glanced at her, "You?" 

She muttered, "Same as yours," 

I nodded and told my bro-cousin directly, 

"Make it two then," he nodded at me back- spinned around as he headed to the main kitchen. 

"I'm sure you're well informed why I want to meet you," Minah said as we made a quick eye-contact. 

"The truth is... I don't... Minnie," I replied and avoided her eyes as I continued, " That's why I'm here today. If I do know, I see there's no reason to be meeting you personally," 

I let the silence emerged despite of feeling she's been staring at me while I aimed my eyes at the glass bottles which stacked on the beverage shelves.  

"Do you still remember everything, Amber?" the raspy voice of hers invaded my hearing, and made my head automatically motioned to see her face at that time. 

I swallowed the lump in my throat because I just saw those shiny tears were building inside of her tiny eyes. 

"I'm here because I'm sorry, Amber. Heaven knows the guilt I have for what I've said to you and you were right, the feeling, actually is not something that we could just take back," 

Eyeing the wooden surface, I locked my mouth. 

Why now she's saying all of these? Why not when everyone were hating me for loving her?

"I should stand up with you too, right? But I was a fool, I feared of Ms. Wilson more than I fear of losing you," she added. 

"Amber... tell me now what should I do when almost every night I've been thinking of my mistakes to you?" 

The same awful stingy pain again as her words made me to remember back what she had uttered long time ago. I endured the pain for a moment and used the courage I have to stare back into her eyes. 

"Just...... let me go, Minnie..."

I saw her expression slightly changed afterwards and spotted she's focusing on the movement of my lips. 

"I... I didn't blame you, because we're just too young and we knew nothing about love, and life in precise," I stated

"But... we loved each other," she replied. 

"Yeah, we loved each other but we're not destined to be together," it was so hard to deliver this sentence, only the sudden strength came in. I braved myself once again to reach for her hand, letting the warmth I have to be connected with hers. 

"I let you go once, to continue to live and now, it's time that you have to let me go, so you can truly live too,"  

"Amber," she called my name, gripping my palm. "Can you forgive me?" and the tears finally streamed down through her flawless cheeks. 

I nodded weakly,

"I must forgive, so that I can truly live," 

Sniffing her running nose, a small smile curved from her pinky lips. 

"Thank you," she muttered and tried to act everything's fine by flashing more and more smiles. 

"Minnie," I watched her closely. "Would you... forgive me, too?" 

Our eyes locked as I furthered, "You are the reason I'm strong till today. Our memories are beautiful. When we're together, it's beautiful," 

Wiping away her tears with my right thumb, I said in soothing voice, 

"No regret, Minnie. Live this life to the fullest because you don't know wonderful things that might happen to you. I'm your lover in past, but I will never say no to be your friend in present. We made mistakes and we couldn't escape from feeling guilty because we're not perfect. Neither you or I, none of us should decide who has the right to take the blame," 

I feel like crying too when I had eyes fixed to Minah's tears so I hid it with a gentle smile. 

"Thank you, Amber.... Thank you very much," she sobbed. 

I caressed the top of her head, and tapped her shoulder smoothly. 

"Starting from now, just keep moving forward, will you?" 

Minah tilted up and flashed another eye-smile to me. 

"I will, and you should too," 

"I think now I'm forward already," I chuckled at her back. 

"O-oh? That fast??" she cluelessly asked. 

"Yeah," 

Minah playfully pinched my arm, asking more, "Amber, you replaced me with someone else... already?" 

"Nope, I didn't replace you, Minnie," 

"So?" 

I glanced at her, smiling, 

"I got my first and last love for my present and future, Minnie. Nobody is replacing you because you're the best of my past," 

Somehow, I saw her gaze slowly turning soft and gleamy. 

And it was when Key arrived with two glasses of orange juice and made us stopped our talking through the eyes moment. 

I bet, Minah would understand what I meant because I did understand what was in her mind. 

At last, I felt my heart had widely opened as she voiced out casually, 

"Keep going on, Amber. Love her more than you loved me,"