​​​​​

"No one knows how is their ending scene until the day comes.

My dear, our ending scene is here.

Even though we can't be together in this world,

let's meet again in the next life.

Kim Donghyun, saranghae."

One year ago...

Joochan was lying in his patient bed, reading book and coughed at times. Spending every day in hospital alone, he already get used to it. But he couldn't deny that he missed Donghyun's company. He missed to talk to that boy again. He missed everything about his cute fairy.

It had been eleven months, almost one year since the tragedy happened on Mr. Kim and his family. The others had slowly recovered but not Donghyun. That thin male was still lying on his patient bed at hospital. He was in coma.

"His head damaged badly and his condition is so critical. We can't guarantee anything, sir. Our party already give all the best we can. If his spirit to live is still so strong, I believe he'll manage to wake up and survive this. Don't lose hope."

Sometimes, Joochan would visit Donghyun in his room. Yes, they were in the same hospital. Every time he saw that latter, nothing changed. Donghyun would be there sleeping on his bed, didn't move nor respond anything.

"Morning, Donghyunie." Joochan kissed the warm forehead. "You alr slept for so long. Don't you think it's time to wake up?" He spoke in whisper tone. As usual, only silence answered his words. "I miss you."

It broke his heart seeing this weak latter lying still in pain. He knew, Donghyun was still fighting with himself to wake up. So, Joochan would always be here to support. Just like when Donghyun always there for him in back then.

​​​​

"Yesterday, the doctor told me that my cancer just getting worse and nothing more they can do. In simple words, I'm dying , Donghyunie." Joochan bitterly chuckled. The pain in his chest throbbing again. "So, can you please wake up before my time comes?" Tears began to pool at the corner of his eyes. "I miss you so much. Just please wake up." He weakly begged, hands holding tight Donghyun's one.

Only God knew how difficult for him to accept the reality when he received the news about what had happened to Mr. Kim and his family, especially to Donghyun. He couldn't remember when was the last time he cried that much.

.

.

.

It was during early winter the same year, Donghyun finally woke up. It was such a miracle because honestly, everyone already lost their hope. Everyone but not Joochan.

That blonded male still believe Donghyun would wake up one day. His strong instinct said so and now it really happened. After one year and a month, this day finally came.

He felt so happy that he couldn't even describe it in words. He couldn't wait to see Donghyun and talk to him again and tell him how much he missed that cute fairy.

However, happiness didn't long last for him. After he met Donghyun days later, he knew things had completely changed... and just got even more worse.

"Joo, Donghyun has wake up." His friend who came to visit him at hospital said with a small smile. Joochan grinned happily.

"I know."

Choi Bomin. One of Joochan's classmate and also played in the same basketball team with Joochan during their high school.

"But something happened." Bomin continued, expression turned dark.

Joochan cluelessly lifted up eyebrows, "What do you mean?" Based on Bomin's not-so-good expression, he knew another bad just happened. "Tell me, Bomin."

A short silence before Bomin sighed. He seemed a bit hesitated but spoke about it anyway, "He can't remember anyone."

Joochan was still clueless. Donghyun couldn't remember anyone. What?

"He lost his memory." Bomin said again. "Donghyun... lost his memory. He doesn't remember anyone. Not even his parents." Now, he was waiting for Joochan's respond.

As expected, the blonde in front of him scoffed in disbelief while shaking his head. "This... this is not funny, dude. What the hell are you saying--"

"I'm serious, Joochan."

Another silence as Joochan was observing Bomin's face. That latter seemed serious, no sense of playfulness in his tone too. This scared the hell out of Joochan. He gulped at the thought of Donghyun couldn't remember him and they wouldn't be the same anymore.

"I want to see him." Joochan was about to get off from his bed but Bomin stopped him.

"He's still taking some rest. No one is allowed to see him for now. Just wait for tomorrow, okay?" Bomin persuaded, hand lightly squeezed his friend's shoulder. He knew what the other two had gone through this whole time. They had suffered a lot but still so strong for each other. That was what made Bomin amazed and adored the two.

But in the next day, Joochan didn't go to see Donghyun at his room. He didn't ready yet to meet that latter who wouldn't be able to recognize him. His mental and heart still need some time to prepare for it.

"Hey, hey, hey. What are you spacing out for?" Bomin visited him again that day. Since Donghyun was in coma and Joochan was by himself at hospital most of the time, Bomin accompanied him whenever he had free time. "I bought you some cake."

Joochan smirked, "Whose birthday?"

"My little sister." Bomin laughed when the blonde facepalmed. "Hey! At least I asked for her permission to bring this for you."

"Okay, okay, whatever." Joochan snickered. He had lost many weight since he lost his appetite, and Bomin always tried to bring some nice food to attract that latter.

"Have you meet Donghyun today?" Bomin took a seat on a chair beside the bed. Joochan just shook his head, gaze dropped on his lap and sighed. "Joo, I know it's hard but at the end, you still need to face the reality. Just go meet him, make him remember you again."

"I don't have time for that." Joochan's knitted his eyebrows as he gulped the bitterness he felt. "I'm running out of time. What if I die before he can remember me?"

"Joochan--"

"Or... or what if he can remember me even just a bit but I have to leave him?"

Bomin had no words now. He realized how complicated things had been.

Even if Donghyun could gain back his memory, Joochan had no much time left. His condition was getting so worse as time passed by. One day, he would still need to leave Donghyun. It would only hurt that small latter even more. So, was it better if...

"If he doesn't remember me at all until my time comes--"

"Dude, no. What're you thinking? Don't do this."

"You need to help me. Bomin, I need your help. Please."

"Joochan, at least let him remember you--"

"I can't! You don't understand, Bomin. It'll only hurt him even more if I go after he remembers a lot about me!"

"You just wanna let him know nothing about you so he won't feel sad when you leave? But isn't this will hurt you instead?! Get back into your sense--"

"I have no choice. I rather hurt myself than seeing him cry."

"." Bomin lowly cursed knowing how stubborn his friend could be.

"And I need another help from you, Bomin." Joochan seemed more serious this time, and Bomin knew he would gonna get a heavy responsibility to do.

.

.

.

One morning, Joochan was walking outside, on the corridor to take some fresh air. It was when his eyes laid on a patient who seemed having a hard time to move his wheelchair. The wheel stuck for some reason and no nurse accompanied him. He was by himself, repeatedly tried to move the wheel but failed. From distance, Joochan could recognize him right away. It's Donghyun. The dancer had to use wheelchair after he broke his leg. A bandage wrapped around his forehead.

Joochan approached from behind the said patient and helped moving the wheelchair forward. Donghyun was startled and immeditaely looked around to see a blonde.

"Uh-- th-- thank you for helping."

Joochan smiled, how much he missed to hear that voice. "Small matter. Where are you going?"

"Uhm.. back to my room."

"Do you need help? Where is your room?" Joochan offered but the said black haired male shook his head.

"It's okay, I can do this on my own. Thank you." Donghyun reassured the blonde and thanked him before moved the wheelchair. But soon enough, he stopped and turned around again. "Have we met somewhere before?"

Why with that sudden question? Joochan gulped the bitterness he felt before forced a smile, "No. This is our first meeting."

The patient on wheechair smiled back, "Ah, really? I'm sorry. They said my name is Kim Donghyun. What's yours?"

Joochan's sad gaze scanning the pale white face in front of him. It still so beautiful, so breathtaking. So, Donghyun really couldn't remember him. All of their moments in the past already being removed from his memory. Nothing left and now they started again as strangers.

"Hong Joochan." He breathed out, tried his best not to sound so broken.

Donghyun nodded, "Nice to meet you, Joochan. Thanks for helped me earlier." He slightly tilted his head and smiled nicely. That one smile Joochan missed a lot. "Bye for now~ I hope we'll meet again soon." Then, Donghyun continued pushing his wheelchair forward, heading back to his room.

Meanwhile, Joochan was standing still, eyes following the smaller male's back until he disappeared from his sight. 'We are strangers again but this time with memories.' He innerly whispered. 'Forgive me for lying, Donghyun. I'm now just a guy who's counting days to a death. You have a future. You deserve someone better.'

​​​​​.

​​​​​​Donghyun was spacing out on his bed when someone entered the room. That guy who claimed as his best friend but Donghyun couldn't remember anything about him, of course.

"Bomin."

"How're you feeling today?" The tall male smiled nicely. So dashing with that styled neat black hair.

"Much better than previous days." Donghyun replied, hesitantly formed a smile. Bomin took a seat beside the bed and just staring at the smaller one. "What?"

No instant reply from Bomin who was still staring. It made Donghyun felt uncomfortable and awkward somehow.

"I really need your help, Bomin ah."

"What, Joochan? Please don't ask something nonsense."

"It's not nonsense tho."

"Then, tell me."

"I want you to take care of Donghyun... for me, please."

"Joochan--"

"Didn't you once told me that you have a crush on him? Didn't you once offered him out for dinner? You even asked for his number and gave him flowers during Valentine's Day."

​"How... did you know--"

"He told me everything."

"I-- I didn't mean to flirt with your lov--"

"I don't mind anymore as long as you can make him happy. It's okay, just... don't make him cry, promise me."

".....I promise."

Donghyun lightly hit Bomin's arm and brought that spacing out latter back into reality. "Stop staring." He frowned slightly.

Bomin cleared his throat and looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Bomin ssi, how long have we become best friends? I just wonder." Donghyun asked. He couldn't help but felt guilty towards Bomin because he didn't remember anything about him and their friendship.

Bomin took a short pause before replied, "Quite long. We have been so close since early high school, to the point we almost got into... love relationship." He innerly said sorry for lying. Joochan wouldn't be mad even if he and Donghyun became a thing now, right? Bomin reassured himself that everything was fine.

"I can't remember anything." Donghyun slightly knitted his eyebrows, sad gaze dropped onto his lap as he muttered words again, "I'm really sorry. If you don't mind, please help me gain my memory back."

'If Donghyun gains back his memory, doesn't it means he'll remember everything about Joochan too?' Bomin thought. Joochan asked for his help to take care of Donghyun and don't let the latter remember anything about Joochan.

"Can you help me?" Donghyun asked.

"Past is past. Don't force yourself to remember everything. It'll just give you headache. Why not if we start things from beginning again? I'll always be here for you." Bomin took the fragile delicate hand into his and smiled nicely. Their eyes met and silence took place for awhile before Donghyun hesitantly nodded.

.

.

.

In the next day, Donghyun spent his time in his room, spacing out as his mind just felt too empty. He couldn't remember anything, couldn't worry about anyone, everything was simply disappeared from his life.

The latter in patient uniform sitting on a wheelchair then decided to take some fresh air outside. He carefully moved the wheelchair and went out from the room. The corridor wasn't crowded but wasn't really empty. There were some visitors and few patients walking at the corridor.

A vending machine placed near elevator somehow caught Donghyun's attention. He headed towards it and staring up to the variety choices of drink in the machine. His mouth watery from just staring at them, but he had no coins to use.

After staring without blinking for about a minute, suddenly another patient approached him and the machine. Donghyun looked at the blonde and surprised to see the same guy who helped him yesterday. As if he wasn't mistaken, his name...

"Joochan?"

The blonde in same patient uniform looked down at him, faked a surprise expression and giggled. "You again?" Yea, as if he didn't notice Donghyun just now. "Are you buying drink too?"

"Uhm.. well, I want.. but I can't... that.. I don't have coins." Donghyun muttered hesitantly. He was so adorable, seemed even smaller in his lil bit oversized baby blue patient uniform.

Joochan nodded, "It's okay. I can pay it for you. Which one do you want?" He said while casually scanned the drinks.

"Ehh no, no, it's fine. You don't have to--"

"But I want to. Hurry up, decide one."

Donghyun seemed guilty and hesitated but seeing the blonde didn't mind for the treat, Donghyun accepted the offer. "That one. Banana milk."

Then, Joochan bought one for the black haired male and smiled when he thanked him. "Why are you alone here?"

"I'm bored in the room alone. There is no visitor today. How about you? What're you doing here alone?"

"Same story. I'm bored in that room."

Donghyun giggled a bit at the blunt reply. They went to a rest area and just spending some time there, talking while enjoying the view through the transparent wall. Joochan was sitting on a chair, beside the patient on his wheelchair. He keep coughed from time to time, seemed pale and tired as always.

At last, Donghyun decided to ask. "I'm sorry if this sounds none of my business but... what disease.. are you suffering? You look so painful." He hesitantly yet carefully uttered his words.

It took a short silence from Joochan before he answered, "Lung cancer." He smiled despite the painful reality. "Stage four." He continued and he got expected respond from Donghyun. That smaller male was surprised but tried to hold back his expression later. Cute somehow and Joochan smirked at it.

"Don't give up, keep fighting the cancer. Okay? I'll always be here for you. You'll recover soon, believe me!" Donghyun took the blonde's warm hand, lightly squeezed it.

"I'll always be here for you, Joochanie. Don't worry, hm? Please don't cry. I'm here for you."

Suddenly, their past memory slipped into Joochan's mind again. That time, he was crying hard and almost give up on his life. But then, Donghyun came and comforted him. He cried in the dancer's arms.

"I'm scared, Donghyun. You don't understand."

"I know. I don't understand how you actually feel but please... please let me help to make you feel better. Please tell me what should I do for you." Donghyun whispered softly before Joochan snuggled closer, arms tightened around the smaller frame.

"Just stay like this." Joochan sobbed. "Don't leave me." He buried his face into Donghyun's shoulder. "Please."

Donghyun nodded, tears threatening to fall from his small eyes. His arms wrapped around the latter in patient uniform, lips pressed against the blonde's head. That night, they slept in each other's embrace, hoping there would still be a tomorrow for them.

"Joochan ssi?" Donghyun waved his hand just right in front of Joochan's face, brought that latter back into his sense. "You spaced out." He lightly smiled.

The blonde blinked few times before cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. Where were we just now?" Donghyun was still watching his with concern look.

"You look so tired. Why not if we go back to our rooms now and take a rest?" The black haired male sounded so caring. Joochan couldn't help but missed their old times even more, when Donghyun could still remember him and being a really caring boyfriend.

"Donghyun."

"Yes?"

A silence as Joochan couldn't afford to continue his words. His mixed feelings just made it even worse. Their gazes still connected for another more seconds before Joochan looked away and shook his head. "No, nothing. Forget it. Let's go back to our rooms, shall we?" He stood up from his seat, ignored the soft yet concern look from Donghyun.

From a distance, Bomin was watching the other two inside the rest area. He knew he shouldn't feel this way but he couldn't help. He felt slightly jealous to see them. The two patients had heading back to their rooms separately. Bomin felt guilty towards Joochan because his love for Donghyun started to bloom again now. Donghyun; his friend's lover.

Meanwhile, Joochan just realized his mistake. The more frequent he meets Donghyun, the more difficult for him to move on from their past relationship. The more frequent he meets Donghyun, the harder for him to stop himself from loving that latter even more. The only thing he could do now was avoiding Donghyun. Keep their distance just like strangers but take care of that fragile boy from that distance, with Bomin's help.

Three months. Because Joochan only had remaining three months or less than that period to live his life.

He was coughing so badly when the door creaked open. Bomin came in and rushingly approached his friend when he saw the blonde was having difficult time to breath again. Blood spurted out as he coughed. He already get used to it now. Bomin ran out and called for doctor, soon enough to come back with some helps.

In those three months, Joochan really tried to avoid from meeting Donghyun. Even if they bumped into one another at corridor, Joochan would just said sorry and leaved. The drastic change in his action was quite too obvious for the black haired patient to notice.

One day, Donghyun was sitting in his bed, reading book. He just finished his therapy (he had done his leg operation in last few weeks) and if he put more effort, he would be able to walk again soon.

Later, someone walked into the room with a bouquet of flower. Donghyun broke into a smirk because how sweet it was. Bomin grinned and approached the small latter. "Morning~ Have you done your therapy?"

"Yup, it finished early today because I did so well. Even the doctor praised my hard work." Donghyun sounded a little bragging. Bomin chuckled and nodded. "Is that flower for me?"

"Ah, yes. Where should I put this... okay, let's just use this vase." Bomin was busy with the flowers he bought while Donghyun was still staring. "I met your parents at parking lot just now." The taller one broke the ice.

"Yes, they came earlier to see how my therapy was going."

"Ah I see... Donghyun, look! How is this? Do you like it?" Bomin showed the roses he placed into the light green vase. Beautiful. Donghyun simply smiled and nodded but his expression didn't seem so happy as if something was running in his mind.

"Bomin ah."

"Hm?"

"What should we do if someone is angry with us?"

Bomin smirked at that sudden question. "What's wrong?"

"I think, ....I make someone mad at me. He avoids me a lot now. I don't understand what have I done wrong but... it just that I feel quite sad. He's a nice friend though." Donghyun let out his concern, sighed as he muttered lowly.

"Who're you talking about?" Bomin asked, fingers played with the patient's hair. "Uh? Don't tell me, he's that guy you hang out with last time?" He talked about Joochan. Bomin had spotted the two together for few times but Donghyun was still had no idea Bomin and Joochan were actually know each other. This would surely gonna be a big mess later when he found out.

"Yes, that blonded guy."

Bomin sighed and shrugged, "Maybe because his boyfriend is jealous to see him get too close with you, that's why he tries to put distance between you two."

Donghyun was a bit taken aback, "So, he has... boyfriend?" Suddenly his mind recalled back the time when he saw Joochan with a visitor dressed in nice blue shirt and styled light brown hair. That guy was sitting with Joochan at a rest area, talking and they seemed... happy. Or at least, Joochan smiled a lot. Donghyun didn't know why but his chest was hurt at the sight. Joochan was just nobody for him tho, just a stranger who was now became his friend, but why did his heart felt a little broken? Donghyun couldn't understand himself.

"Yes." Bomin nodded, mentally apologized again and again for lying. "His name is Jibeom."

"You even know his name?" Donghyun sounded a bit surprised. Meanwhile, Bomin just smirked at the smaller male's cute expression. "Whoa... you're really a creepy person. I bet, you stalk everyone in this hospital."

Bomin laughed at Donghyun's casual words, fingers lightly pinched the shorter's cheek.

Jibeom.

That name already stuck in Donghyun's mind.

.

.

.

"This is mine! Joogiya, get off me!" Donghyun stretched out his arm in attempt to prevent Joochan from grabbing the free keychain of their favourite game character. The keychain was included in the box when he bought the game set.

Joochan literally threw himself onto the thin latter, arms stretched to reach for the keychain in Donghyun's hand. "But I paid for the game! So, this keychain is mine!"

"Joogiyaaaa!" The black haired male in pink Alice in Wonderland printed sweatshirt screamed in high pitch, sounded like a dolphin as Joochan still straddling him, it caused the blonde in navy blue hoodie panicked.

"H--Hey, don't scream. Your mom will hear you from downstairs!"

They were at Donghyun's place now and his mom paid him a visit as it was weekend. She was cooking for lunch in the kitchen.

"Get off me and this keychain is mine." Donghyun challenged but Joochan just scoffed and shook his head because he always got what he wanted. So, he would get that keychain too this time. Donghyun nodded and screamed again. That high pitch though, even singer Joochan couldn't reach that note.

"Godammit. Okay, okay, you win. This keychain is yours." At last, Joochan surrendered and rolled his eyes. He always got what he wanted but when it came to Donghyun, he would end up let the boy win instead.

Donghyun beneath him giggled in victory. Those crescent shaped eyes and scrunched nose, everything seemed so cute. So beautiful. Joochan broke into a low chuckle too at the sight. He leaned down and bumped their foreheads. Seeing what would coming, Donghyun held back his breath, stopped giggle and nervous gaze dropped.

Joochan closed their distance a bit more but in the same time, someone knocked the door.

"Is everything okay in there? I heard your scream just now, honey. Is there cockroach or something?" Mrs. Kim asked from the other side.

Startled at the sudden knock and voice, Donghyun spontaneously pushed Joochan off him and got off from the couch. "N--Nothing, mom! Everything is fine here. Thanks for the concern." He replied from inside the room, stood awkwardly there.

Meanwhile, Joochan who was sitting on the floor now silently laughing at the back before Donghyun grabbed a pillow and threw it straightly to the blonde. It landed perfectly against his head. "Ouff!"

​​​Donghyun just smirked when the blonde mumbled his rambling about how precious his handsome face and Donghyun should make apologize for disrespecting that face.

"Boo!" Jibeom snapped his fingers right in front of Joochan's face and brought back the spacing out guy into reality. He just came back from buying them some drinks. "What're you staring at--" His words stopped once he turned to look at the same direction Joochan was looking.

Two familiar figures were happily joking and spending time together at the hospital park. Donghyun and Bomin. The smaller in patient uniform giggled a lot and seemed... so happy. Seeing them joking and playing like that made Joochan missed his time with Donghyun in back then when they playfully having a childish fight over their favorite game character keychain.

Jibeom sighed, drapped a small blanket on the blonded patient's back. "It's cold here, bad for your condition. Let's get inside." He took Joochan by his arm before led them back into the building while Joochan paid a last glance at the other two in the park.

"Look. I told you, I'm good in doing magic!" Bomin laughed, showing his empty palm. The coin had missing in a blink. Donghyun chuckled and shook his head, disbelief.

"Liar! I saw you hid the coin in your sleeve." Donghyun tried to prove that he was right. Bomin shook his sleeves to prove Donghyun was wrong. But then, a coin dropped from the sleeve. How pathetic. Donghyun broke into another chuckle, holding on to his own stomach.

However, seconds later, he stopped laughing abruptly as if something just hit the back of his mind. Something like a memory... a past memory. His eyebrows slightly knitted, eyes shaking while biting his bottom lip. This situation somehow reminded him to a similar event happened in the past. He didn't even need to push himself to recall it, the event played by itself in his mind.

"I told you, I'm a great magician but you don't believe it~" Joochan said in casual yet sing-song voice, smirked arrogantly. Donghyun just scoffed. "What? I don't hide it in my sleeves, okay!"

"I didn't say anything tho." Donghyun scoffed again before smirked, "Is it in your sleeve?"

​​​​​Joochan was taken aback and flustered, "Excuse me? I said, no--"

"Let me see. I don't think I can trust you." The black haired male moved forward and tried to check the blondie's sleeve but that guy in blue sweater swifted away. "Hey, are you scared if I found out now? Gotcha! You hid it there, right, Joogiya~?" Donghyun laughed as he managed to expose the uncertified great magician.

​​​​​​Joochan scoffed before surrendered. He failed to fool the innocent latter. "Stop laughing, you cruel . C'mere." He motioned his finger, beckoning the dancer to come closer.

​​​Donghyun shook his head, still laughing. "Don't want to."

"Come here, I said."

"No. Actually, I don't interact with a fake magician." Donghyun held back his laughter at his own words.

"You-- this lil piece of savage --" Joochan jumped across the drain to the other side and almost fell as his foot slipped. Thankfully, his hand managed to grab Donghyun's arm and hugged the smaller, prevented himself from falling backwards. He sighed in relief before the boy in his arms whispered.

"Actually, I don't hug a fake magician too." Donghyun evilly stated while smiling innocently.

"Donghyun, are you okay?"

He flinched when someone touched his shoulder but as he turned to his side, he saw Bomin. That latter looked concern.

"Are you okay?" Bomin repeated.

Donghyun was breathing heavily, eyes shaking, and his head felt dizzy now. What just he saw? This wasn't the first time though. Lately, he got this kind of vision, and sometimes even in his dream. The thing that made him totally confused was... just why Joochan always there in every of the vision. 'Who is he actually?' Donghyun innerly asked, gulped at the thought of Joochan was actually someone he knew.

.

.

"Mom." Joochan smiled, still looked pale and tired as always.

His parents visited him more frequently now. They wanted to take him home instead as he only had remaining few weeks though. Doctors had stopped giving him medicine and treatment. He was literally waiting and counting days to his own death.

"Dear, I'm sorry as I'm coming alone today. Dad has urgent meeting at his office." Mrs. Hong approached her son and kissed his head.

Joochan shook his head with a bitter smile. "It's okay. Have you eat?"

"That's my question, honey. Don't tell me you skipped your meal again?" The pretty lady sighed, placed the plastic of food she brought onto the bedside table. "You've lost so much weight-"

"It's not important anymore, mom. I'm dying anyway." Joochan bitterly chuckled and muttered the last sentence. He looked away, didn't dare to look at his mom's changing expression.

"Dear." Mrs. Hong stood up, changed topic as she tried to lighten up the mood. "Guess who I met earlier before coming here." Joochan just gave her an unamused look. "Donghyun. He seemed so happy spending time with his parents who came to visit him."

Hearing that, the blonded patient broke into a soft smile. He was so glad and relief to know his beloved one was happy​​... even without him by that latter's side. That other day, he saw Bomin carried Donghyun in bridal way. It somehow made him jealous but he was glad in the same time, knowing Bomin would take good care of Donghyun when he wasn't here anymore.

"When will you stop pretending like you don't know him, honey? You're just hurting yourself even more, do you even realize this?" She sounded sad.

"I'd rather hurt myself than seeing him hurt, mom."

"You love him that much."

Joochan replied nothing, gaze dropped onto his lap. As a mom, of course Mrs. Hong wanted what the best for her son. Of course she wanted her son to be happy until his last breath. Of course she wanted Donghyun to remember and love Joochan again before her son leave. But she had to respect Joochan's last request and decision to not letting Donghyun remember him.

"I love him that much." After awhile, Joochan muttered that words so lowly under his breath.

​​​​Mrs. Hong looked away and wiped the tear that started to brim at the corner of her eyes. Why was this so painful for her son...

"Mom."

"Hm? Yes, dear?" She turned to the younger again, forced a smile.

"I'm sorry for everything." Joochan half whispered. "I'm not really a good son for you this whole time. I keep making you worried and--"

Mrs. Hong shook her head, chuckled lowly despite the tears in her eyes. "What're you talking about, hm? You make me so proud this whole time. Not everyone can be as strong as you now. Not everyone can still think about others in this condition. I'm really proud of you, son.... I'm really proud... and I believe, Donghyun too." She hugged the blonded patient and kissed the top of his head.

Joochan just nodded silently, eyes closed. He had been so tired fighting this cancer for many years but soon he would finally get his resting time.

.

.

Donghyun was so quiet that day. He seemed so pissed off about something that even Joochan couldn't understand.

"Are you okay?"

The blonded guy asked but only silence answered him. They were now spending time at Donghyun's place as they needed somewhere quiet and calm to do their assignments given by their teachers. Joochan's place definitely not suitable as study place because his sister alone already so loud. Plus his mom and maids and dogs and nope, just nope.

Joochan got off from the dining chair and approached the black haired one who was preparing dinner for both of them. Just a simple ramen with boiled eggs though. Cooking wasn't really his thing. Joochan could cook better than him.

"Why're you look so gloomy today?" The blonde backhugged the thin latter. Donghyun wasn't as playful and talkative as usual. He didn't even respond to Joochan's lame jokes when they were studied together earlier. "What's wrong~?" Joochan playfully whined while buried his face into the back of Donghyun's head.

But the shorter one just shrugged away his head, disliked the blonde's action. Joochan stopped and now became more serious as he could sense the tension.

"Kim Donghyun, stop ignoring me. What the hell is wrong now?" He released the backhug and turned Donghyun around by his arm. So, now they were standing and facing each other.

"Tch." Donghyun pulled his arm from Joochan's grip. He look so pissed off, didn't even looked at the blonde.

Joochan sighed. Every time this happened, he knew Donghyun was in a very bad mood as some s happened. What again this time?

"Okay then, suit yourself." At last, Joochan gave in. He was about to leave the kitchen when Donghyun finally opened his mouth.

"Hong Joochan, where are you going? I'm sulking right now."

Joochan stopped his step and turned around, "Then what do you want me to do?" He sounded lazy. They fought a lot sometimes. Usually, Joochan would just let Donghyun get some time for himself to cool down before they settled in good way after that.

"Do something then! Why am I loving this idiot again ugh... those son of es and all this s should just fck off--!"

"Kim Donghyun, mind your language!" Joochan warned strictly.

In back then, Donghyun was a very cold person who liked to