I'm sorry Taeyeon. I really am.

It's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself.

It's not a mental complaint, it's a physical thing. It's hard to open your mouth and make words come out.

I wanted to talk to you.

To hug you,

And cry on your shoulder.

I couldn't and blame me for keeping all it to myself. Call me selfish, even shout after me.

It's so hard Taeyeon. I'm hurt enough and believe me, it's not bearable. I don't want you to get hurt too.

I'm sorry Taeyeon. I ruined your life. I couldn't fight for you, for us.

There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.

The only thing I have is you. You are my everything.

But how would I continue breathing if I'm the reason of your wounds?

If I knew that yesterday would be the last day that I could see the sunset in your arms, then I would never let go. 

I guess you could say this is my goodbye;

I can't continue anymore.

I'm sorry.

You would understand if you were in my position,

But you're not,

So you won't.

Live a full and happy life;

Forget me;

Move on.

This is the here and now.

I may be gone, but you're not.