“When is it again?” Guanlin mumbles, his phone lazily laid beside his head, staring at the ceiling, as if he’s been in a deep daze.

“Guanlin. Stop being dumb. This is the second time. Why would you torture yourself like this?” Woojin’s voice was heard on the line, his tone irritated and completely displeased about the new found information of Guanlin being Jihoon’s best man.

“It’s not like it’s my choice to get that damn disease, hyung.” He whispered, tone dejected and defeated as he visibly winced, eyes fluttering close as he prepares himself for another round of Woojin Lessons About Love 101.

“Language, child.” Woojin hissed before continuing, and to Guanlin’s genuine confusion for Woojin’s voice to be softer than he thought it’d be, he continues. “Guanlin. I care for you. I’m your hyung. You can’t torture yourself like this, this is borderline masochistic. You’ve gone through surgery once. You can do it again, can you?”

His voice was full of hope, and Guanlin’s chest ache as he felt his palms go clammy, adjusting his phone to his ear as he shifts his position, lying down on his side as he stares at the photo frame of him and Jihoon on his bedside table. It’s been seriously almost 2 years.

“I think I can.. I guess?” Guanlin whispered on the phone, but it was more like a whisper to himself more than to Woojin.

“I’m counting on you. You don’t have to go to the wedding as well. Being tortured twice is enough. Enough is enough. You don’t have plans on making it three tortures, right?” Woojin joked, trying to enlighten the tension in their conversation, muffled voices were also heard on the other line.

“Of course, hyung.” Guanlin giggles on the line, gaze softening to the photo frame because can he really do itagain?

“Take care of yourself, kid. I’ll hang up for now. Oh, one last thing. Are you going to Daniel and Jihoon’s hangout with the bros next Friday before their wedding?” Woojin piped up, voice deepening as if already telling Guanlin to ‘nope child, you’re not going.’

“Yes?-“ because I’m the best man. Guanlin was about to continue but Woojin beat him up to it as Woojin firmly stated a “No. You’re not going unless you won’t be getting that damn surgery. You wouldn’t want to puke endless flowers there and create a bouquet in front of them, are you?” Horror was evident in Woojin’s voice and Guanlin could only let out an airy laugh, a cough being followed as a petal, and another petal, and oh look there’s also another petal came out of his lips.

“That’s a nice idea though, hyung. I would definitely want to do that.” Guanlin’s gleeful laugh was heard echoing through his room as Woojin yelled a “You ing bastard!” At Guanlin before ending their conversation.

The smile faded though as soon as he lets his gaze travel from the silky sheets of his bed to that one particular photo frame in his bedside table. He convinced himself that he kept that because Jihoon hyung was his favorite hyung not until his feelings and memories of the other came back, and it hit him like a damn hurricane. His fingers reach up to the frame, landing on Jihoon’s smiling face before he sighs.

Damn you, Park Jihoon. He sits up, heaving out a heavy sigh before holding his face in between his hands. He’s going crazy. He knows the surgery was easy, albeit a bit expensive but not too expensive of course because he has done it once, but doing it again.. What if those feelings would return again? Would Guanlin live a life with a short-term memory loss for Park Jihoon and make this an endless cycle of falling in love?

Guanlin was about to just say  it before he burst into a fit of coughs followed be heaving as petals of different flowers were scattered in front of him, and on his white sheets. Striped Carnations, Red Carnations and Red Roses. Striped Carnations were a symbol of refusal, Red Carnations were for admiration and Red roses were for endless love. It’s as if fate slapped Guanlin figuratively because he definitely needs to get that surgery sooner, if he wants to go to Jihoon’s wedding with no ing problems.

Sooner, I will.

___________________________________

Guanlin was sitting outside the Doctor’s clinic, fidgeting with his phone as he waits for a certain small head to be here now by any time who promised to accompany him today.

“! I’m here!” Jinyoung waved frantically as he sees Guanlin’s scrunched shoulders, running up to him as he bumps his shoulders with the younger’s.

“So, is Mr. I’m Suffering finally going to get the petals out of him today.. For the second time?” Jinyoung’s voice was seriously so ing annoying if there was a surgery for how to get rid of Bae Jinyoung, Guanlin would do anything to do it even if it would cost him all his wallet.

“Please don’t make everything even more miserable for me and shut up.” Guanlin pleaded, grabbing Jinyoung’s hand as he squeezes it.

“Holy , dude, your hands are so damn cold, are you okay?” Jinyoung’s frown was replaced with a worried façade as he massages Guanlin’s hand with both his hands.

“I’m.. fine?” Guanlin shrugged, coughing yet again before puffing his cheeks to stop himself from expelling the said petals and swallowing them back in his throat because hell no, he’d come out as a freak in front of all these humans.

“Lai Guanlin?” A female voice called out for him, making the two boys’ attentions direct to the female as she ushered both of them inside the Clinic.

___________________________________

“I really hate to say this but, Guanlin this is very unhealthy and dangerous.” The doctor’s face was seriously displeased, his fingers tapping on the table as if to formulate the words in his brain.

“How come it’s dangerous? He had done it before.” Jinyoung piped up, averting his gaze to Guanlin who was staring emotionlessly at the doctor, looking paler than he has ever been.

“You see, that’s the biggest problem. Hanahaki disease.. is supposed to only happen once. This is the first time I have encountered something like this. Just by looking at the findings, Guanlin would probably not make it if he goes to another surgery.” The doctor’s voice was mellow, but firm as he taps his pen on the examination paper.

“You mean.. It’s deadly?” Guanlin’s voice was finally heard after him remaining silent throughout the whole process of examination.

“Unfortunately, yes.” The doctor didn’t hesitate to say it before he pursed his lips together. “I’m really sorry, Guanlin. You’re so young and I wish I can do anything but I really don’t know how to deal with this, but we can try if you really want.”

“I’m all good.” Guanlin finished, dragging Jinyoung’s wrist with him as he exits to the door of the place, his head bowed down.

“I don’t know what’s on with you, but as long as you’re doing the surgery, then I’m begging you.” Jinyoung stopped Guanlin from his tracks, clutching to the younger’s hand desperately. “Please, Guanlin, stop torturing yourself like this. Please. Forget about Jihoon and Daniel, we’re here. Someday, you’ll find love like Daehwi and I have, like Jihoon and Daniel’s, like Woojin’s and Hyungseob’s. Don’t give up like this please.” Jinyoung’s voice was cracking, his hold on Guanlin’s hand tightening. “We can’t lose you, Guanlin.”

There was a heavy silence that passed by them for a few minutes, Guanlin’s head still bowed down before he looks back up, sending a small reassuring smile to the elder.

“I promise. You won’t.” I promise.

___________________________________

The days flews by quicker than how the second hand runs past through the clock. The days were seemingly like hours for Guanlin. Guanlin who was always reminiscing in his room. His personal hellhole as piles and piles of petals were slowly occupying the whole entire room and Guanlin was worried, to say the le