(🎶Marshmello - Silence ft. Khalid🎶)

Jeonghan’s POV

9 pm, my phone was ringing and the caller was Joshua. I picked it up and noticed he sounded like he was crying. “what’s wrong? Are you alright?” I ask.

“Can I pick you up? I need comfort.”

“uh-“ I hesitated as the idea that I might get scolded came through my thoughts.

“I’ll ask permission. I’m going to beg them, don’t worry. I’ll receive the punishment. I just really need your presence right now.” Joshua sighed on the other line. I gulped and decided to take the risk.

I took my favourite hoodie and filled the pockets with my necessities. My wallet, earphones, handkerchief then I charged my phone in the short while of preparing myself. I ate a little snack then drank water. I ate a piece of gum afterwards. I sprayed perfume all over my attire. I combed my hair and changed into tight pants. I wrote a note saying “I went out.” With my name on the bottom then left it outside my guardian’s door. I wore my socks then my favourite white shoes. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time then applied perfume on my wrists and neck. I removed the charger, “89%. Okay that’s good enough.” I could hear an engine outside the house and I guess that’s Joshua’s motor bike.

I looked at my aunt’s door one more time then slowly went to the exit. I made sure not a noise was to be heard. The phrase ‘OH MY GOD, I AM SO GONNA DIE.’ repeated in my head. I closed the door behind me and saw Joshua sitting on the motor facing the other way with his head down. He must’ve noticed my presence when he clicked his tongue then I approached him. I observed his face, “are you crying?” I ask, “who cares if I am?” I made a disappointed face and held his cheeks, when our eyes met, Joshua immediately trapped me in his arms. My eyes widened in shock but I responded with squeezing him back.

I started to feel him sobbing softly. Good thing I can’t smell alcohol on him. He hasn’t drank. I feel relieved.

I pat his back and felt like he stopped sobbing. “what’s wrong?” Only silence replied.

Joshua lifted his head and glared at me. I gave him a 'what-did-I-do?' look. “come on.” Joshua took the helmet and gave it to me as he sat properly. I put the helmet on then sit, wrapping my arms around his waist then I took in his scent when I was already settled. 

The engine started and we began heading somewhere. I didn’t bother to ask him where we were going, I trusted him enough that I don’t care what’s gonna happen. I just enjoyed the night view of the city. The lights allured me and I just felt so comfortable being seated behind him with my arms around his waist and the wind gushing past me making me feel so light.

I closed my eyes for a bit then lean my head on his back. I savoured the moment too much that I didn’t notice we’ve already arrived at our destination.

“where are we?” I ask as I took the helmet off.  Joshua parked the motor properly after I got off, I’m trying to recognize the place but I don’t know it at all. “I don’t know. Just shut up and comfort me.” Joshua demanded while reaching his hand out to me. I put my hand in his then he lead us to some stairs, we headed up and it revealed a rooftop. There was a cushion in the middle of it which was just weird.

Joshua plopped himself on the bed while I sat down gently. He pulled my arm and then hugged me tightly. “better not do anything crazy Joshua.” I warned him. He just scoffed. I lean my head closer to his neck, somehow able to hear his loud heartbeat. I lie down flat on my back and faced the clear sky. His arm was there as my pillow and then he followed me too, facing the sky.

I admired the beauty of the stars and the glorious shining moon. I feel like I could die right now. I feel so satisfied. I can’t explain it but ugh, that great feeling of satisfaction makes me feel so happy that I can do anything at the moment.

I turn my head to look at Joshua’s face only to find him already staring at me. “what are you looking at?” I smile.

“you. Domaz.” I scoffed at his reply.

“why do you need comfort? What happened? Are you alright? Did something happen?”

“Timing isn’t right. That’s all I can say.” Joshua faced me then pecked my forehead. He moved me closer to him by hugging me tighter. My face flushed red as I recall the events. I felt guilt, hurt, pity and just plain sadness. I wanted to have this man first before Seungchol came into the picture.

I sigh deeply then snuggled closer to him, “I agree.”