A/N: Glossary time again:

songpyeon - a type of tteok, or small rice cake, which is a popular symbol of traditional Korean culture

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Sinbi’s mouth falls open at the revelation, although she supposes she isn’t actually too surprised. It explains a lot, that’s for sure.

“Well, she didn’t take her fall from favour well, did she?”

“You shouldn’t judge her so harshly,” Sojung says. “I know she seems—”

“Disgustingly fake? Supremely annoying? Like she’s hiding a dagger in her smile?”

“Well, that wasn’t what I had in mind, but yes. Anyway, there’s a reason she is the way she is. And I don’t think she’s as bad as you think she is.” Sojung glances around. “Let’s not have this talk here. Like Yerin says, there are many eyes and ears around.”

“Shall we go home then?” Sinbi asks casually.

“Yes, let’s go home,” Sojung says, and Sinbi has to contain the skip threatening to break out in her step as she follows Sojung.

 

Sooyoung is beyond surprised when she returns to her chambers to find a tall, familiar figure waiting there. The crown prince; her husband, or perhaps she should say her lord. He hasn’t felt like her husband in a long time.

“Sooyoung,” he says, and she’s even more surprised by the warmth in his voice. Like he’s happy to see her, like he’s missed her, even.

She bows. “Jeoha,” she says politely, and before she’s even fully risen out of the bow, he’s gently taken her arms and pulled her up.

“What did I say about all this formal etiquette?” Seokjin smiles, and for a second it’s so much like old times, back when he loved her and loved her best. “I was hoping we could eat together. I had food sent from the kitchens. Hopefully it is still warm.”

She realizes that he hasn’t asked her where she’s been and wonders if this is his way of indirectly asking, but he doesn’t seem to be waiting for an answer as he puts an arm around her and leads her toward the door.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Seokjin says, as a eunuch sets several covered dishes in front of them. “You look too thin. Are you not eating well?”

Sooyoung manages a strained smile. “I have not had much of an appetite lately.”

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I know I haven’t been to see you as much as I should have.”

She doesn’t point out that he’s barely been here in the past few months, or that she’s not the only consort he should be apologizing to. As kind as Seokjin is, as contrite as he seems, that’s not something she can say to him.

“You are here now,” she says instead. “That is what matters.”

“I brought your favourite,” he says, as the eunuch lifts the covers off the dishes around them, revealing soup, vegetables and—

“Duck,” she says, fighting the way her jaw is trembling.

He looks confused. “Is something wrong?”

Duck isn’t my favourite, she wants to cry. It’s Yerin’s. Is she the only thing on your mind? In your memories?

“N-nothing,” Sooyoung manages to get out. “It smells very appetizing.”

“I know you prefer goose, but they didn’t have any on hand. The duck isn’t what I meant by your favourite.” Seokjin touches her hand, gently, before uncovering the last dish himself. It’s a dessert.

“Oh,” she says quietly, looking at the songpyeon. He does remember after all.

“I hope you still like them,” he says, almost tentatively.

She looks at him and gives a genuine smile this time. “Yes. I still like them very much.”

He smiles, relieved. “I’m glad to hear that. There’s more if this isn’t enough.”

She laughs. “How much do you think I can eat?”

“The Sooyoung I remember could eat enough songpyeon to feed an army,” he says with a grin.

Her smile fades. She wonders if she’s still the Sooyoung he remembers. She wonders if she even wants to be.

“Sooyoung?”

“Shall we eat, jeoha?” she says with a forcibly light tone. “I think the food is still warm, but it will not stay that way for much longer.”

He looks at her for a moment. “All right,” he says, picking up his chopsticks. “Let’s eat.”

 

The duck is delicious, she can’t deny, and she eats almost half of it by herself. Seokjin seems pleased that she’s enjoying it and insists on giving her both the drumsticks.

“You should have one,” she protests, and he waves her off with a smile.

“No, I eat duck all the time,” he says affably, and she wonders if it’s with Yerin. “I bet you haven’t had it in a while.”

Sooyoung lowers her head. “No,” she says softly, and the duck suddenly isn’t very appetizing anymore. “The food sent here is usually much plainer.”

She doesn’t say it to complain, but Seokjin puts a finger under her chin and tips her face up. His eyes are soft, intent. Sorry, maybe.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and she shakes her head mutely. “I know you must feel neglected. I never wanted that. I never wanted to hurt you. I care about you, deeply.”

“But you don’t love me,” Sooyoung hears herself say. “Not like you love her.”

She sees a shadow pass through his eyes. “She is to be my empress.”

“I know.” Sooyoung drops her eyes. She suddenly can’t bear to look at him. “I am sure she will make a lovely one.”

Seokjin sighs. “Are you two not friends? I remember you two used to be dear friends. With Sojung too.”

“We used to be,” Sooyoung says neutrally, “although she was always closer with Sojung-gongju.”

“I never wanted to be the reason for your friendship to break apart,” he says, and she can’t help but think, then you shouldn’t have married her. “Yerin could use a friend. I think you could too.”

“Friendships are…difficult in the palace, jeoha.”

“Believe me, I know,” he says heavily. “I cannot say that I am friends with any of my brothers. Perhaps the very young ones, the ones who have no concept of the throne yet. Even so, we see each other so rarely that we barely feel like distant cousins, not to mention brothers.”

She puts a hand on his arm. “It must be very hard to be the prince, especially the crown prince.”

Seokjin gives her a tired smile. “It is indeed far less envious a position as many think it to be. However, I know that I am a lucky man. In many aspects.”

He stares at her with dark, deep eyes, and she has half a second to prepare herself before he leans in. She can taste the soju on his breath, and even though normally even a whiff of it makes her wrinkle her nose, she still finds herself trying to move closer to him. Trying to erase the months and months of distance, to replace the lonely nights yearning for him in a cold, empty bed with the warmth of this moment.

His fingers wind in her hair as he pulls her closer and whispers a name that’s almost lost against her lips.

“Yerin.”

That makes her freeze, her body locking up, her lips falling slack. Even so, Seokjin is the one to pull away, his eyes wide, contrite.

“I’m not Yerin,” Sooyoung says, her eyes burning. “I know that I can never replace her in your heart, that I can’t make you forget about her, but I wish that if you were here with me you would be here and not thinking of her during every moment.”

“Sooyoung.” He looks more than apologetic; he looks…ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you should leave, jeoha.” It is beyond rude – it’s disrespectful, unthinkable, almost blasphemous – for her to dismiss him, but she can’t even look at him for another moment, not to mention kiss him or lay with him. She can’t.

He nods, slowly, leaning back, away from her. “Maybe I should. I think that would be for the best.”

Sooyoung closes her eyes. Her lashes are wet. “Good night.”

“Sooyoung…” Even with her eyes closed, she can feel him reach for her but his hand never makes its way to her. He must have pulled back. “Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll have a roast goose sent to you tomorrow, and more songpyeon.”

“Thank you, but that will not be necessary.”

“Sooyoung—”

“I would not want to trouble the kitchen. You should ask them to make duck and bupyeon for Yerin. A special meal for one consort is more than enough work for them.”

“You matter to me too, you know.”

“I think you should leave, jeoha,” she repeats, more firmly, opening her eyes but training them on her lap.

She hears him rise. Pictures him running a hand through his hair or dusting off his robes, gestures that he’s prone to when he’s frustrated. He’s usually so composed and controlled that he rarely succumbs to his nervous tics, but she has a feeling this would be one of those times.

“I will come see you again tomorrow or the day after, if it is all right with you.”

“You can do whatever you want, jeoha. But perhaps you should pay another consort a visit. I am sure that they would be overjoyed to see you.”

Seokjin gives a quiet sigh. “I know it seems that I’m a fickle man who falls for every woman he lays eyes on and then forgets her for the next, but it is difficult to be in my position as well, Sooyoung. I hope that one day you can understand and forgive me for that.”

She says nothing. There’s a moment when it seems that he may reach for her again, actually touch her this time, but she hears his robes rustle and his feet pad against the floor as he walks away.

“Take care of yourself, Sooyoung.”

The door opens, and then closes.

Sooyoung raises her eyes. The room is empty, save for the cold dishes and the echo of his words sinking into the walls.

She slumps onto the floor and cries until she has no tears left.

 

“Unnie?”

Sojung looks up. “Yes?”

“How did you know that I went to see Yerin unnie?”

“I know you,” Sojung says simply. “I know you wouldn’t rest until you got to talk to her. You probably want to be a detective and figure out what happened.”

Sinbi’s face warms. “Why do you make it sound so ridiculous?”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Sojung says. “I know you care about Yerin and want to get to the bottom of this. I do too.”

“Well, can you tell me what ‘this’ is all about? I know there’s no way Yerin unnie simply ‘fell ill.’ The way you and Consort Park were talking – it almost sounds like someone deliberately hurt her.”

Sinbi looks expectantly at Sojung, who opens and then closes it, looking torn. “You can trust me.”

“I know that,” Sojung says. “If I can’t trust you, who can I trust?”

Sinbi has to fight back another flash of warmth in her face. “Then why won’t you tell me the truth?”

“The truth. You know, we all claim we want to find out the truth, but when we do we often discover that it isn’t as good a thing as we envisioned.”

“Why are you being so cryptic?” Sinbi asks, bewildered. “If I wanted to read a philosophy book, I can, I don’t need you to talk like one.”

Sojung gives a tired laugh. “Sorry. My thoughts have been running in that direction lately.”

“Your thoughts seem to have been doing a lot of running. You should give your brain a break. I bet it’s tired.”

“It is, but I guess that’s the price.”

Sinbi steps closer to Sojung and starts massaging her temples. “For thinking?”

Sojung closes her eyes and relaxes into Sinbi’s touch. “For living.”

 

The whispers filling the room abruptly cut off when Yuna walks into the gungnyeo chambers. She regrets it already, but she can’t avoid the place forever.

“Yuna! Yuna, can you tell us what happened?”

Yuna looks blankly at the gathered gungnyeo. “What happened with what?”

Eunbin rolls her eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t be coy with us. You were there when wangsejabin got hurt. You must know what happened.”

“And then afterwards when the taeui came over, you were the only one allowed to stay with her,” Yeeun adds. “We all know you’re Yerin-sejabin’s favourite, you must have found out something.”

“I’m not her favourite,” Yuna starts, and the sounds of disbelief that come from the assembled gungnyeo drown out anything else she could have said.

“Why deny it?” Seungyeon says. “It’s a good thing. Plus, you work so hard, you deserve to be her favourite.”

“Well, if you think so, then I have to respect her wishes.” Yuna chooses her words carefully. “I can’t betray her confidence.”

“We’re not asking you to do that, unnie,” Yeeun wheedles. “We just want to find out a little more of what happened. You asked me to run to get wangseja, and I did so hard I almost passed out afterwards but I didn’t even know what I was running for.”

“Same for me with the taeui,” Eunbin says. “He looked pretty grim after he saw Yerin-sejabin. It scared me.”

“I heard,” Yeeun whispers, “that she had a miscarriage. Is that true?”

All eyes turn to Yuna, who feels at a loss. “I—should be going. I have to make sure wangsejabin’s medicine is ready.”

“It’s not time for her medicine yet,” Eunbin says dismissively. “Don’t make up excuses.”

“Come on, Eunbin,” comes a new voice. “Stop giving Yuna a hard time.”

“Hayoung unnie,” Yeeun says in surprise.

Hayoung has served Yerin the longest, and she’s also the oldest among the gungnyeo so they have a certain respect for her. Even if they claim Yuna is Yerin’s favourite, Hayoung is like the leader of the gungnyeo.

“Wangsejabin wishes to speak with you, Yuna,” Hayoung says. “Immediately.”

Yuna has no idea if that’s true or it’s just an excuse, but she’ll happily take it if it is. “All right, I will go then. Thank you for informing me.”

“No problem,” Hayoung says, “and as for the rest of you, if you have time to be idly gossiping you have time to help me clean. Wangsejabin is in a fragile state right now, and she could get sick easily from all the dust around. Sojung-gongju sneezed up a storm when she visited the other day.”

“I didn’t realize we were Sojung-gongju’s gungnyeo too,” Eunbin mutters, not quite under her breath.

Hayoung raises an eyebrow. “What was that?”

“Nothing, unnie,” Eunbin says meekly.

Yuna has to fight back a smile as she slips out of the room.

 

“Did you want to see me, unnie?” Yuna asks cheerfully. “Yerin unnie?”

There’s no reply. She raises her voice a little. Yerin probably just didn’t hear her.

“Wangsejabin? Are you there?”

Still nothing. Yuna steps into the inner chambers.

Yerin is sitting on the floor, her hand clenched around a piece of parchment so tightly that she’s crumpled it beyond legibility.

“It can’t be,” she murmurs to herself.

“Unnie?” Yuna asks hesitantly. “Are you all right?”

Yerin’s eyes snap to her, but they’re glazed, unfocused, like she’s not really seeing her. Yuna is starting to feel scared.

“Yerin unnie?”

Yerin lets out a long exhale. “Yuna,” she says, her eyes clearing. “Yes, I did want to talk to you. I want you to bring a message to Sojung unnie for me.”

“Oh, okay.” Yuna eyes the parchment in Yerin’s clenched hand. “Is that the message?”

“No, this isn’t it. This is—something else. Something unimportant.” Yerin’s voice is dismissive, but Yuna sees her cover the parchment with her sleeve in a studiedly casual motion. “I haven’t finished writing the message yet, but once I do I would like it to get to Sojung unnie right away. Is that all right with you?”

“Of course, if that’s what you require.”

“Thank you, Yuna.”

“Anytime,” she says, and can’t help asking, “Unnie, would you say I’m your favourite gungnyeo?”

Yerin makes a startled sound. “Why the sudden question?”

“I don’t know.” Yuna scratches the back of her head. “The other gungnyeo were saying – especially Eunbin—”

Yerin rolls her eyes. “If Eunbin paid as much attention to her tasks as she did to gossiping, she could probably run the palace by now.”

Yuna laughs in agreement. “I can see it, now that you mention it.”

“I don’t like to pick favourites, but if I had to, you would definitely be in the running.” Yerin smiles. “But if I did name names, then Eunbin would just have more fodder to gossip about.”

“Would Sinbi be in the running too?” Yuna finds herself asking.

Yerin’s expression turns carefully blank. “Sinbi isn’t even my gungnyeo, so how could she be?”

“I don’t know. It was a dumb question. Please forget I asked.”

“You’re free to ask me anything you want, Yuna. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hold your tongue around me. We all have enough of that around the palace.”

“I-I’ll remember that,” Yuna says, but even if Yerin weren’t the crown princess, even if Yerin were just another gungnyeo like her, she doesn’t know if she can ask her what she wants to. “Are you going to finish writing your message?”

“Yes,” Yerin says. “I will.”

“I’ll make you some tea then,” Yuna says, and Yerin gives her a grateful smile.

Maybe she isn’t Yerin’s favourite gungnyeo, but Yerin is definitely her favourite lady of the court and Yuna just wants to see her smile again. And nobody, not even Seokjin, has ever made Yerin smile the way Sojung does.

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A/N: Sinbi's description for Sooyoung, that it seems like "she’s hiding a dagger in her smile" is a literal translation of the Chinese proverb 笑里藏刀, which means to act kind while having malicious intentions. I think this basically summarizes most of the people in the palace.

Eunbin, Yeeun and Seungyeon are all members of CLC. Hayoung is from APink. Sooyoung is Joy from Red Velvet. I chose the first four as Yerin's gungnyeo because Yerin is a former Cube trainee and they are (or were, in Hayoung's case) all from Cube groups. Also, Hayoung and Joy are Yerin's friends but RIP JoyRin's friendship in this fic.