Age 22, a warm spring day

"HAPPY GRADUATION!" The cheers erupted around you, people telling you to go left and right for the pictures. You posed, holding the smile until your face muscles ached. You noticed a familiar face coming from behind the little wall of people taking your pictures, instantly bringing a real smile to your face, making your heart flutter. 

You smiled, mainly for his camera, til you saw Jiya bring him around, telling him to stand with you. You bumped shoulders, your heart still skipping a beat. No matter how many times you'd see each other, he had never failed to make your heart skip a beat with that constantly-etheral presence he had. He smiled down at you, like he was proud of your graduation, even though he had just graduated with you too.

"Say cheese." He grinned. His smile had all the aunties whispering excited among themselves. You laughed because most of them knew how close you and Himchan had gotten over the years, he was essentially always at your family events now, and vice versa. You heard someone's voice say "They're so cute together" before you awkardly coughed and the both of you went to greet the latecomers.

You walked over and seated some of the guests who just arrived to the party, and looked for Jiya. Where is this girl when I actually need her?! 

You ran, looking for where she possibly could have gone. You spotted Raja talking to your parents, and looked around, wondering where his parents had gone. 

"Beti." (Daughter) you heard a familiar voice.

"Oh! Aunty, Uncle, thank you for coming, I was just looking for you!" You politely welcomed Raja and Jiya's parents. "Have you seen Jiya?" 

"I'm sure she's around somewhere dear, but don't worry too much about that. Enjoy your party! We have to talk to you later anyways, so go have fun with your friends." They hugged you before heading off.

You smiled, waving them off. Truly they'd be some amazing in-laws...if I loved their son as much as I loved someone else.

You were walking so quickly you didn't notice that you walked into someone's chest. A hand came behind you, catching you so you didn't go crashing down.

"Take it easy, I found her." He grinned again, and Jiya popped out from behind.

"I heard you were looking for me?" Jiya wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yes, we have some discussing to do before my parents come over and snatch me and I miss out." You grabbed Jiya, pulling her over.

"Does this mean I don't get to join in?" Himchan pouted.

"Come over here, of course you can, since you're involved." you laughed.

Jiya cracked her knuckles as if she was about to spill some tea. "So, yeah, your parents pulled over my brother...to congratulate him about getting into grad school. But..."

You and Himchan both looked at each other, shrugging, then looked back at Jiya.

"But...?" He prompted.

"He wants to work abroad possibly after grad school...and right now, I think they're asking him about his love life..."

"Yikes." you fake shuddered. 

"Yeah, that's all I got out of the convo so far...but I don't know if Raja told them about his girlfriend yet..."

"Ooooooh...are they serious?!" You had to whisper, getting way too excited.

Himchan laughed. "Someone sounds excited about someone's possible fiancee and less stressed about their own..."

You playfully smacked his arm. He fake pulled back, sticking his tongue out at you. "Hey, that's one more year I can procrastinate that awkward conversation, isn't it?"

Jiya laughed. "Let's hope so! I didn't get to hear as far as I wanted to because Himchan came and found me first..."

You grinned apologetically. "Sorry..."

Jiya's face changed suddenly. "I see our parents chatting, better run now!" 

The three of you split off to eavesdrop on the conversation. You noticed Raja was still following your parents. You gulped, wondering why he was still sticking around.

It shouldn't be a warning...nah, they're probably gonna interrogate the poor guy...

You noticed Himchan a little distance away, creeping on the opposite side, managing to stay hidden somehow. You reached the little gazebo-like structure in the park, and watched as the parents and Raja went inside for a moment. You and Himchan snuck around the back, noticing the open window and snuck over closely so you weren't noticed but could eavesdrop.

You leaned a little closer to the window, both of you pressing up to the side of the window just enough to hear but not be seen. The voices got a little louder and clearer.

"...and we know you're about to start your Masters soon, but why the decision to move?" you heard your mother's voice.

"Well, I mean I wanna get some traveling in, and why not? I'll have the credentials to come back and work, or better yet, work as I travel even. If I can't I think the move would be good to get me that change of pace for some time and go from there." 

You and Himchan looked at each other, nodding.

"I see...that's a pretty good outlook. So, I know you mentioned that you want to talk to all of us, so, here we are."

"Yeah...so I wasn't sure how to bring up the conversation without having all of you here." Raja spoke. "The legacy...well..."

There was a pause. You looked at Himchan confused now, not sure what was going to be said. He just offered his hand to you, and you squeezed it tight, wondering what was going to happen.

"Well, I'll be honest. I am dating someone right now. We've been dating for almost a year." He finally spoke.

You breathed a sigh of relief at his words, feeling a little bit less stressed. You felt Himchan squeeze your hand again, looking at you with a slightly amused expression. 

"Ah...so you wanted to speak to us first about her, because you wanted to talk about the legacy?"

"Well, we have been together a year, and I mentioned that I want to do grad school and move after. But, like you, aunty and uncle, she's very close to her parents and she doesn't want to move too soon. Which I understand. So we did have a bit of a disagreement over that. But that's not the thing."

You suddenly felt the lump of worry creep back into your throat.

"Is there something wrong?" You heard his parents speak.

"Well, it's not that something is wrong. But, to be honest, I feel like even though we've been together for a while, and we have some similar goals, we don't really have that same long term goal. So, I think, I want to break up with her."

Your eyes grew wide, and you almost stood up and gave away your position. Himchan kept you from being seen, whispering to you to calm down.

"But why would he mention breaking up...to all the parents?!" you couldn't hold back the panic in your voice.

"Shh...we gotta listen to find out." he calmly looked into your eyes, helping ease the panic.

"But...if you want to break up with her, why did you choose to bring her up to us?" you heard your mother's voice.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it has always crossed my mind whenever I dated anyone that the legacy and promise thing...and I never really took it all that seriously in the past. But, I think that since this has been one of the longest relationships I was in, it just gave me time to reflect on what I want and what things I'm going to have in my life. I don't think it's so bad now that I'm a little older. Of course, I can't decide that alone, but, if everyone's still agreeing to it, I'm okay with upholding that legacy." 

Thump. Thump. Thump.

You sat there, motionless. You couldn't move, nor react. You didn't know what to say. Had you truly heard correctly?

"Really?" There was another pause. "You're absolutely sure, son?"

You hadn't moved in a minute, and you just felt Himchan's hand on your shoulder, bringing you out of your thoughts. You didn't know what to say still, but the panic on your face must have been enough for him to react. He gently held the side of your face for a moment before you heard the voices speak again.

"Well, if it's alright with both of you, should we discuss possibly holding an engagement next summer? After your first year of graduate school closes of course. We'll have to discuss it after it's been confirmed with both of you, but as of now, we haven't heard anything about any opposition." You heard your father speak this time.

"You really don't think she has anyone that she loves...or I mean is at least interested in?" You heard Raja say.

"What do you mean?" You suddenly heard his mother's voice pipe in.

"I don't mean anything, I'm just wondering if you heard or talked with her about anyone she's ever been interested in...not in a nosy way of course."

"I mean we are all aware of her and Jiya being very close with the friend they both have, Himchan, but, in all the years, we've never heard either of them speak of anything other than friendship."

It hit you like a pile of bricks. The truth. You had never spoken to your parents...heck, you could barely speak to your best friend about your feelings for him. And yet here you were, both eavesdropping together, yet you'd never had the confidence to tell him how your feelings weren't simply friendship anymore...you weren't sure how to.

"That's true...I don't know, it just seemed, she may have always liked him more than just a friend, and maybe him too...but maybe that's what I see since they are so close."

"Is that worrying you, son?" 

"Not really, I think it's fine and I respect her friendships. I have female friends that I'm quite close with too, though not romantically. Maybe because they've known each other longer, it seems that they're closer than I would have expected them to be. Either way, I would rather talk with her than assume." You heard Raja finish.

"That's a great way to view things. We're proud of you son. I hope, if all goes well, we'll have an engagement to look forward to."

"Me too, uncle." You heard them standing up, getting ready to leave.

You and Himchan ran back towards the venue, sneaking into the private bathroom to talk.

"Are you alright?" He asked you, seeing you visibly shaken.

"I wasn't expecting the conversation to go there...at all." You managed to reply. "I honestly...and he's not lying...I'm still single...I haven't brought anyone to introduce to my parents at all, so...even if I did, at this point, who would I start with, and when would I tell them that being with them has to be serious because it's going to be breaking that legacy....this its....its just so much right now..." You held your head for a second, trying to make the world stop spinning.

Himchan held you in a comforting hug. "Listen, you don't have to agree to anything just yet. Just be honest with them. Let them know, if you aren't ready, you aren't. That's what you've always told me, and here I am, telling you the same." He pulled back, his dark eyes pulling you momentarily from yourself.

"Thank you." You managed to say. But how can I be honest with them, when I can't even honestly admit my feelings to you...how am I supposed to talk to them when I want to tell you how I can't even think of dating anyone else...who else do I even trust or think about spending my time with, the way I spend it with you?

But instead of voicing your thoughts, you just stood there, wondering what else could this day possibly hold for you.

...later...

Himchan's view

Why didn't I speak up?

Why didn't I say anything else?

...why did I tell her to be honest with them...and not tell her honestly that she doesn't need to start dating anyone else, she's the only person I want to date, that I see the look in her eyes whenever she sees me...the way she smiles when I surprise her...the blush that covers her expression and she thinks I can't catch...why didn't I say anything to her then? 

You looked at your reflection in the mirror. Because you're a coward. You're always afraid to speak up for those things. You're always ready to run away or drop it instead of speaking up face to face. Isn't that why you'd just break up and not say that you weren't serious in the past? Because...you feel for her, but you couldn't get yourself to tell her...

You wanted to punch the mirror, but you knew that wasn't going to solve anything. You sighed again, not even sure what to do. She'd been so stressed all you could do was just talk to her whenever you had a chance, and the longer you seemed to wait, the worse this seemed to be going.

Would her parents even accept me now? Wouldn't they think that since I hesitated so long, I can't possibly be serious all of a sudden...?

You tried to shake your head of the negative thoughts. You had to talk to her, one way or another.

A few months later, a cool autumn afternoon

Jiya waved to you, her bright blue bag catching your attention.

"Over here!!" She yelped.

You ran over, Himchan following your lead. 

"Alright, so here's the plan. We're gonna go to these shops first, and you get to pick which style dress you wanna wear for the big day, and after the dress shops lets do dinner, then we can check out the cake shops!"

"You make it sound like I'm getting married...it's just an engagement," you pouted. 

"You're going to be my legal sister soon so it's all the same!" She couldn't hold back her enthusiasm.

"And since he hates shopping, here I am, at your service." Himchan fake bowed, like a butler.

You laughed. "Well, at least this is going to be fun, thanks for being my moral support through all this adulting and almost having more breakdowns than being cheered up..." you started to mutter.

"Uh uh. None of that pouting missy." Jiya wouldn't hear it.

"No tears, only smiles and a day for you, my best friend." Himchan said sternly, then broke into a laugh.

As you perused through the shops, you just couldn't wrap your mind around everything. It had been almost 3 months since that conversation...and yet when it came down to facing your parents, you somehow froze up, and agreed to that engagement. And here you were today, shopping for the engagement you'd always joked about dreading...shopping as if you were in some sort of strange movie with no real ending. You sighed, but you shook your head, trying to maintain the positive thoughts.

Just imagine if the groom was...

You shook your head. That would only make it more painful...though the thought of it did ease your heart while you tried on the dresses. Even cake tasting was that much more fun because he was there and he knew exactly the flavors you liked, even if they were ridiculous requests.

After a long day of shopping, Himchan headed out, and Jiya dropped you off to your house, leaving you to your thoughts.

Would it be bad if I said something now? They did say I could talk to them...but even if I did, nothing has changed...what would I even have to say...

You rolled over on your bed. Your phone had opened up a picture from the graduation party, a candid of Himchan laughing as you looked confused.

I guess I would have to say...I've only loved one person...Him.