7 Still With Him pt. 2

“Hiding it from me won’t do any good, Tzuyu. I’ve already seen it,” he said as he sat on the table now. We’ve spent a good five minutes with bickering whether he should see what's posted online or why he shouldn't see them.

"Then, why are we still fighting over this if you've already seen it?" Lazily, I sat beside him. "I've been jumping for a while only to find out tha-" I didn't finish what I was saying and took a deep breath.

"Just wanted to distract you from crying, you

“Hiding it from me won’t do any good, Tzuyu. I’ve already seen it,” he said as he sat on the table now. We’ve spent a good five minutes with bickering whether he should see what's posted online or why he shouldn't see them.

"Then, why are we still fighting over this if you've already seen it?" Lazily, I sat beside him. "I've been jumping for a while only to find out tha-" I didn't finish what I was saying and took a deep breath.

"Just wanted to distract you from crying, you know?" He flicked my nose.

"I wasn't!"

"You were."

"Why would I?" I kept on denying that I cried because of him. At this time, Youngkyun needs someone to hold on to and right now, I'm that person who could be just that.

"Because you care?" He gazes at the star too the way I did earlier. "Look at how those stars shine without having to care what we say about them right now..."

"Okay. Fine. I cried," I admit, causing him to look at me. "But I only did because I was supposed to be the only ones dissing you like that, you little pig." If I weren't looking at him, I would've missed seeing the small smile he had on his face as if me teasing him is so amusing.

"You know what? I don't care what they say about me. But I care about my group - my brothers."

"Of course, you do." I remembered the time he was speaking by himself while he was cooking earlier - pretending Youngbin was there and telling him he's unexpectedly doing fine.

"I have always wanted to have a vacation anyway." He giggled. "And I'm having it now!" He dances on his seat with a wide smile plastered on his face.

I laughed in my seat too. It's not because he looks funny (because if I'd laugh whenever he looks funny, I'd be laughing for 24 hours every day and that's tiring). It's because I'm happy Youngkyun can still smile like that.

I was still laughing when he stopped and looked at me with annoyance written all over his face. "You're laughing at my dance, aren't you? It may look weird but I look good!"

"Whatever you say, oppa," I said with aegyo and laughed more.

"When you called me oppa just now, I started to cringe. Don't do that ever again, huh? Hajima." He went back watching the stars.

And me, I did more aegyo beside him... "But oppa!" I pouted and folded my arms on my chest.

Youngkyun stands up from his seat and started walking towards the backdoor. "I cringe at your aegyo. I wish to sleep peacefully tonight." He shuddered and then entered the house.

I laughed by myself at the yard. It definitely was cringe-worthy but actually, it felt good. Not that I felt good doing that aegyo but it felt good Youngkyun is still strong - being able to laugh and joke around like that.

“Youngkyun-ah!” I shouted and laughed as I run after him.

“Run faster, sweaty pig!” Youngkyun runs around the living room and laughed like a kid. Even if I’m already tired from all that crying, jumping, and now, running, I still try my best to play harder.

“Yah, seriously!” I paused for a while, bending forward, and hands on my knees, panting.

Youngkyun stopped running around and his laughter stops. “Are you okay, Tzuyu?” He goes beside me, running his hand on my back.

I enveloped him in my arms and shouted, “I gotcha!”

When Youngkyun realizes that I wasn’t really that tired, he put on his annoyed face and said, “You’ve got me since day one, Tzuyu.”

Suddenly, I pushed him – maybe a little too strong, causing him to fall on the sofa. “Oops, sorry.” I said and sat on the small space left beside him.

He scooted closer and laid down his head on my thighs. I was about to protest when he asked, “Just for a while, please?” I didn’t anymore fight back and let him rest.

He had his eyes closed when he spoke, “What if- what if I really fall for someone?” His question got my attention so I looked at him with confused look on my face even though he has his eyes closed. “I really like this girl, you see. Before you get any thoughts that the rumors are true, I’m telling you now. It’s not. She’s not one of our staffs, you know? I just – it just turned out to be like this, Tzuyu. One day, I met her and saw a side of her that isn’t pretend then the next day, I find her so beautiful even if she’s gross.” He chuckled.

I still look at him, waiting for him to finally tell me who the girl is even though—I don’t know—I just feel like it’s me. I know this is very sudden just like what he said but he makes me feel something familiar? Like, that of something I think I’ve been looking for? Like, I’ve lost that feeling and now have found it again? He just—he just makes me feel home.

“I’m not sure, Tzuyu. Maybe this is just an infatuation? Actually, I’m wondering how long does it have to be before—you know—calling it love?”

“There’s no standard for love, Youngkyun. If you feel it hit you then, that’s it. You’re in love. You can’t just invalidate your feelings because of stupid criteria the society has set. No one can tell you what it is because it's you who’s feeling it,” I tell him causing him to open his eyes and meet mine.

“Thank you, Tzuyu. Thank you.”

"Tzuyu! If you're not yet out of your room in five counts, I'm going to tear down this door and drag you from your bed to the yard!" Youngkyun knocks on my door too much making me think he could tear down the door with only his knocks.

Sloppily, I opened the door and slumped back on my bed.

"You look gross, Tzuyu. But isn't that your standard?” He tell himself and continues, “Anyway, come on out! I'm going to show you something."

"Later," I said as I wipe off the evidence of me sleeping soundly on my face.

"You better brush your teeth and wash your face." He then grabs me by the ankles and drags me off the bed. I didn't protest anymore and just let him drag me all the way down here but I didn't move once he lets go of me. "You really aren't going to wake up yet?" He asks in a threatening voice.

"What is it, Youngkyun? I really want to sleep right now. I want to stay in bed for the rest of the day. What's your deal this time?"

"I've already talked to Youngbin."

I stood up in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah. C'mon, I cooked breakfast already. It will taste not as delicious as it is now if we'r-" I didn't wait for him to finish and hurriedly washes up in the bathroom.

"Whoa, thank goodness you look less gross right now but at least, not as much as earlier. Totally gross." He claps his hand and shakes his head slowly like he finds it unbelievable.

"You know, you can just greet me good morning and tell me to help myself to breakfast," I said and proceeded to pull out a chair for myself. "Thank you for the food," I tell him with a genuine smile and then sat. I started eating what he cooked this morning - egg rolls, kimchi, rice, ramyeon, kimbap, and kimchi pancakes.

I was already on my second cup of rice when I noticed he hasn't started eating yet. "Earth to Youngkyun! The food's getting cold already and worse, it's almost gone."

He answers me with a smile.

"I don't think that smile says you're already full or hungry. You just kind of look like an idiot there smiling."

"Maybe I really am."

I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes. "It's not a maybe, Youngkyun. You really are one."

He just continued smiling with affection in his eyes. I couldn't decipher what that smile means except for guessing that he has done something to the food and he's just now waiting for me to finally take notice... "Did you do something to the food?" I suspiciously ask him.

"Nope," he answered and ate a spoonful of everything.

"Okay," I agreed and continued eating. To be honest, I think Youngkyun has gone crazy since last night… Well, isn’t crazy his last name?

"You know you're not supposed to be seen or recognized right?" I told him while I scrutinize his looks.

Youngkyun is wearing a plain white shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a beanie. He didn't even bother wearing a face mask and shades. "What's wrong with this?" He turned a whole 360-degree in front of me, still looking bothered as to why I AM bothered.

"We're going to shop for groceries, Hwiyoung." I put emphasis on his stage name to make him remember he's part of SF9 and going out for grocery shopping with a lady after a 'dating scandal' and incident with doesn't seem to look like a nice idea. I took off the baseball cap I am wearing and tiptoed to reach him and put it on his head with as much force as I can exert.

He fixed his hair underneath the cap and put the cap backwards on his head. "Are you worried we're going to be an item after this?" He wiggled his eyebrows and started to poke my sides.

"Doesn't murder scream so loud through my eyes enough? Does this look of despair of wanting you back to your dorm scream 'Ohmygod I love Kim Youngkyun so much I don't want to give him back to SF9'?" I sarcastically asked.

"You can just tell me, Tzuyu. You don't have to feign annoyance to tell me you love me." He smirked. "You can just tell me and I'd stay."

"What the hell is wrong with you, Tzuyu?" Youngkyun exclaimed while holding a pack of 2-kg of uncooked fries. He doesn't wait for me to answer to put it back in the fridge but as soon as he slid close the fridge, I opened it again to reach for the fries. "Don't." He grabbed my hand from inside the fridge, slid close the fridge with his other free hand and just kind of dragged me away from the frozen section.

We went to the fresh section and he just get a set of everything there - apples, grapes, strawberries, kiwis, oranges, blueberries, and watermelon. At the milk section, he grabbed boxes of fresh milk, a can of evaporated milk and condensed milk.

"Uhm, Youngkyun." I called but he continues walking without even looking at me.

"Youngkyun!" I called him louder.

"Hmm?"

"Can you uhm- let go of me?" He then stops and looks at our hands.

"What's wrong? Am I holding you so tight?" He loosens his grip and then asks, "Now, is this okay?"

"I'm actually asking you to completely let go of my hand."

"Poor you. This guy right here wants to prevent you from making impractical and unhealthy choices so, I apologize but I have to hold on to this." He lifts our entwined hands on eye-level for a few seconds before putting them down. I scowled but he just laughed and continued shopping.

He whistles as he enjoys shopping and every time I put something in the cart, he would put it back on the shelf. "You know what? I should've just stayed at home and waited for you to come back."

He turned to look at me and says, "First, if I let that happen, I wouldn't get to hold your hand right now. And secondly, what you said will probably happen five years from now or so. Who knows?" He flashed his boyish smile and held my hand tighter before he continued on shopping. I only noticed I wasn't really breathing when I breathed deeply after he broke our eye contact. I swear my heart didn't skip a beat...or did it?

"Aish," he groans. "Fine. I'm letting you eat whatever you like. Go," he tells me and finally let's go of my hand. I smiled at him cheerfully and rushed to get everything that I want.

“What is this, Tzuyu? Youngkyun’s already leaving two weeks from now? Is this true or has his company forced him to?” I read Jennie’s text out loud.

Youngkyun’s leaving next, next week? Why didn’t he tell me? I try to stand from my seat but it feels as though my weight doubled…make it tripled. It just seems like I can’t move. It was only until I hear steps from outside that I made myself move even if slowly…

“No, Youngbin. I can manage here. What? I’m not telling you… Fine, I’m in Il—Youngbin, can you just let me rest? Yeah, I get that but I already told you, I’m sorry. No, really. I’m not dating one of our staffs. Honestly. I’ll tell you next time, Youngbin. Thank you. Bye.” I heard Youngkyun talking to someone. I haven’t opened the door yet and I don’t think I’m ready to face him just yet. I just turned around and laid down on my bed.

There’s this side of me that wants him to go back to their dorm with his brothers but there’s this side of me that doesn’t want to let him go. It has just been roughly a week and now, I can’t imagine a day without him… Kim Youngkyun, what have you done to me?