title: too late to run
author: byul91
link: too late to run

title: i can't figure out why you called your story too late to run. maybe because it's not completed yet but please enlighten me.

description & foreword: the description is quite weird and confusing to be honest. you always write she (she was, she felt, she had, she met...) and with that being so, i can't figure out who you're exactly talking about. (but seeing the tags, i figured out it must be the oc). nevertheless, i wish you'd mentioned her name, because seeing she every time gets repetitive thus boring. the same goes for he. who is he? in my opinion, it would have been better if you had stated theirs names. however, i do like the last paragraph when you mention `` across the town, six pieces of him are left for her to discover [...]. it is very mysterious and makes me wonder what are those six pieces and it feels like she'll go on an adventure to discover them. to summarize, the things you could improve are the pronouns. instead of always writing she, you could use her name or refer to her as the student, the girl, the latter etc. as for the foreword, i'm not the biggest fan of individual character description. there are nine characters and remembering the role of each of them in the story is hard. it is more smooth and professional to describe the characters in the story directly. i've never read an actual published book with characters description at the beginning. aside from children's books. lastly, please try to keep each paragraph black, with the same font and paragraph format, it's not a writing tip. but, as a reader, it's always more visually pleasing and easier to read. 

chapter one: i'm going to honest, but this chapter is very confusing.
it starts off with a girl and yet again, i have no idea who she is. (i guess it's the oc?) then we have a gif of Hoseok so i suppose the next part of this chapter is about him, but i can't be sure since no names are mentioned... “he” is at the hospital because of depression and self harm if i'm not wrong. he lost his memories? his hyung (once again, i have no idea who) commited suicide. then, there's a gif of Namjoon, which means change of character. A name is finally written ( Jin's) so he's the hyung. Jungkook follows after Namjoon. He's in university and has to team up with a girl ( is she the first character you mentioned, the oc?) Second to last, we have Jimin who wants to see Hoseok at the hospital. Lastly, there's Taehyung and we see his abusive step father and his mother being treated badly.

you're probably wondering why i bothered to summarize the whole chapter, but it's just to show you that it's confusing. having like eight characters in one chapter and having to switch from a girl to hoseok being in a hospital to namjoon remembering and worrying about V to Jungkook being at the university to Jimin back at the hospital and lastly to V. 

who is the main character? honestly, you should stick to one character or two max. as a reader, i can't identify or relate to any character when it changes every time. for example, you talk about “she” in one paragraph and by the time i can fully imagine her and try to understand the way she feels and her story, you switch to another character. it's hard to constantly change the location and mood in my mind. or maybe it's just me though. 

if you want to stick to multiples characters, then at least, make a chapter for each. it'll be less confusing and better for readers to have an insightful knowledge on the character's life. 

also, this is my first time reading a story on aff and seeing pictures and gifs inside the story itself. i don't have anything against it, but it's not my cup of tea. i feel as if putting images terminate or cease my imagination. as i reader, i like to imagine things from the words and the description, but when i see the gifs, i have to force myself to insert these images in my head and sometimes, it doesn't always fit what i had in mind, in the world i had created. i don't know if you understand what i mean by that. let's say you're reading a book and as you read, you imagine the world in your mind and suddenly, you see an image and it's not exacly what you imagined. images are good for children, but i don't think it's necessary for teens and adults. 

plot: since the story isn't completed, i can't really say much about the plot. however, so far it's good. from what i've read, it's about Jin who commited suicide and Byul thinks she was hallucinating every time she saw him. please correct me if i'm wrong. hoseok is also suicidal and jimin's health isn't that great either (the doctor is always telling him that he should take care of himself first...) byul is the girl who works in team with jungkook, she's also the one who met Agust D. i liked how everyone is somehow linked to someone else. like byul is a classmate to jungkook, a fan to agust D, a friend to jin and also she also seems to know Taehyung since they were young. jungkook's father is the doctor of hoseok... also, i like how you unravel everything slowly and everything seems to fall in place the more i read. it is intriguing. i'm always wondering if byul was really hallucinating and if jin really existed? and if he did, why did he kill himself? what's wrong with hoseok? why can't he dance anymore? what's with taehyung's step father? wh