story title; Ukiyo

author; Molliehenson

link; Ukiyo. (浮世) 

title: i had no idea what ukiyo meant until i read the description which states its definition. honesty, up until chapter ten, i was still clueless as to why you picked this as your title. however, you explained it in chapter ten and it does makes sense now that i think about it. since hanbin is always mentioning the time and he always seems to overthink, he's not fully living in the present time. i think it's a pretty sweet and aesthetically pleasing title, but if i had come across your story, i don't think i would've clicked on it because i ignore what it means and i can't directly pinpoint what it is going to be about or what kind of story i am getting into. to summarize, ukiyo fits your story,  it's a japanese au so having a Japanese word as the title is comprehensible. nonetheless, if i were you, i'd still go with an English title since the majority of your story is written in English and the majority of the readers on aff read in English. remember that the title is the first impression they have of your story.

description/foreword; these kind of descriptions are very intriguing, it doesn't reveal much about the story which is great and captivating. i like how you included a list of songs. i did listen to some of them while reading your story and they do fit the themes of your story so that's a good thing.

the plot; in general, the plot revolves around hanbin coincidentally meeting yunhyeong at odd times and odd places. when they first met and yunhyeong took a picture of hanbin, i thought it was rather creepy because they had just met. as I read the following chapters and figured out that yunhyeong is, in fact, a photograph and not some creep, i understood and it did make sense. the plot is great, yunhyeong was rather mysterious and I was  always intrigued to know why he always left hanbin before he wakes up. i think you planned it well, because each question i had was answered in the next chapter I read. however, I read many stories about the main protagonist being lonely and heartbroken who finds a new love interest and somehow, he's not so lonely anymore or depressed (I have written one based on that) so it is cliché, but i think you added some originality to ukiyo with yunhyeong being a photographer. in conclusion, the plot is quite good. there's lots of things happening from hanbin meeting yunhyeong every once a while to yunhyeong being a mystery and with hanbin' s ex and him having to go back to Korea, it was pretty good. all the elements of a plot are present, you started off by mentionning the characters (hanbin), the setting, his life in general and you followed by the rising action which is him meeting yunhyeong randomly... then, the and the falling action and i guess the resolution was when hanbin realized he needed to go back to japan and settled there with yunhyeong (thanks to the permenant job offer). 

pace/flow: i don't think you were rushing to finish the story nor that you were slow, it's twelve chapters after all. however, i did feel like the characters were rushing, like hanbin and yunhyeong relationship developed rapidly. how many days had they known each other before they started dating? no proper date or knowledge of each other and they began to strip each other down? yunhyeong confessed his love in the second chapter and I, personally think things went rapidly in between them. if i were you, i would have taken the time for them to open up to each other and for their relationship to grow normally.

characters; from my perspective, hanbin's character wasn't consistent. from