Distinct memories of my past always came flooding back to me. The way my grandmother treasured me and cared for me never left my heart. Because of my mothers poor illness and my fathers dedication to working all the time, my grandmother was the only one who could look after me. The many times we cooked together always brought a smile to my face whenever I cooked a meal in our dormitory. 

However, it often made me sad to think of how rarely I could see my relatives, especially my grandmother. Now that I had become the lead rapper of the idol group Shinee, all I focused on was pushing myself to be the best I could be in order to make the company pleased with my efforts. 

Ever since debuting, all of us became extremely popular, and it made me feel proud that many girls had acknowledged my existence for once in my whole life as ridiculous as that sounds. When living with my grandmother, I always kept myself away from others and focused on my studies, so I was viewed to be a quiet child and I never got to experience much of friendship and love, only towards my grandmother. 

But now that I’m part of a famous idol group, I found it much more easier to express myself, so people would find it hard to believe that I used to be a quiet kid who barely communicated with anyone.

I remember telling my grandmother about my passion for music, despite it being hard for me to express how much I loved it. I thought she'd put my dream in a corner and tell me how silly I was, but instead she supported me and helped me to carry out my ardour for music; and that courage she planted in me was the result of my acceptance to become an idol. The confidence I hold now was all down to my positive grandmother who never doubted me, and I am still indebted to her for that major push in my life. 

The most beautiful thing I find in a person, is their value for their individuality. The way a human being is created always fascinated me, and the one thing I could never grasp was the beauty my grandmother held. Despite me leaving her behind, a piece of me wanted to carry out her kind, caring emotions towards others, but to also maintain my own individuality and not let anyone change that!

I guess there are a lot of things I still need to experience as Key, an idol.

But also as a person, Kim Kibum. 

***

A/N : Hello peeps! I've returned by starting a new fan fiction (as you can tell) and it's going to be a story about my beloved Kim Kibum figuring out his feelings towards Kim Jonghyun. I've never written a gay fan fiction before so bare with my lack of knowledge in that area. I don't think I have the guts to write anything ty, so it will most likely be fluff. I hope that my friend Becky will enjoy this because she's been pestering me to do this, never mind being helpful by giving me ideas for this...

*note: I am still in the process of writing my BTS fan fiction, so please still hold an interest in that, I'm just trying to figure out what to write so it won't be utterly boring.

I HOPE YOU ENJOY DEARS ❤️