Mourn for those who have passed and mourn for the memories of futures lost

A living man cannot fathom the intentions of departed souls

The least expected entity has set in motion a mechanism of dormant generations

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Shuffling and bumping into each other, the passengers slowly started to gather their belongings as the train entered through the station gates. Seungcheol watched the scenery past the window shift from a variety of greens and yellows to a mixture of greys and blues. As the train squeaked to a halt, he waited for the rush of busybody passengers to file out of the compartment before making his own way out. He wasn’t really in the mood, nor in the hurry to leave by shoving past people, who were clearly more pressed for time than he was. Just as he walked out of the doors, the cold, late afternoon air made the tip of his nose go numb. He had nearly forgotten just how unforgiving the weather of this town was. Gathering his luggage, Seungcheol made his way towards the exit of the train station.

The first thing he saw after leaving the building was…the sky and the parking lot. Of course. It was a fairly small town and the council most likely didn’t (and never will) have enough funds to decorate the areas and make it more… tourist friendly. Not like Seungcheol was a tourist. And because he wasn’t not a tourist, a small smile crept into his face as he breathed in the familiar air. He hadn’t seen enough to feel nostalgic yet but the sentiment was still present.

“Seungcheol!” a voice called out to him which made his head turn. He watched as a short, blonde haired boy jogged up to him with a smile on his face. The taller boy immediately breathed out like he felt relieved and wrapped his arms around the shorter one without saying a word in return. The blonde didn’t think strangely of this as he patted Seungcheol’s back, reassuringly. After a moment, they separated and broke the silence. “I’m glad to see you again. Hope the ride to here wasn’t too bumpy,” the shorter boy gave him a smile. “It’s really good to see you again Jihoon. Gosh it’s been too long,” Seungcheol returned the smile which faded as quickly as it appeared. “All things considered, a crowded train ride is the least of my discomfort,” there was a feeling of loneliness in his words. Jihoon gave him a sympathetic look before picking up one of his bags and forcing a small smile. “Let’s get you out of the cold,” he said before leading Seungcheol to his car.

A few moments later, they had put away Seungcheol’s luggage in the trunk of Jihoon’s car, got in and drove out. As they were driving, the brown haired boy noticed that the town hadn’t changed much since he had left six years go. Now, the nostalgia was kicking in. The parks where he used to play with Jihoon and his other friends as kids, the greasy fast food joints where they used to pig out after school, the library that had a broken statue of a frog in front of it, they were all the same. It was like time had frozen in this town. Jihoon noticed the faraway look on his friend’s face and smiled. “You can’t expect a tiny town like ours to do a 360 in just six years, Cheol,” he said with a hint of amusement. Seungcheol didn’t say anything in return but nodded with a small smile. A flashback of a young and smiling Seungcheol, holding the large and rugged hand of a man came into his vision as they drove past a convenience store that had old and discolored posters of red popsicles pasted on their windows. He looked away from the car window and gave a small sigh. Red popsicles... on a summer day after school was over. It was an every day promise, right?

After a moment of silence, the blonde spoke again. “Soonyoung’s been really impatient ever since we got here,” Jihoon scrunched his face a bit as he drove. “…Well, not impatient. More like anxious,” he corrected himself in a low tone. The boy next to him sighed and looked down to his lap. “Thank you for coming all the way back here for me,” Seungcheol said after a long time. The corner of the blonde boy’s lips twitched. “Jesus Christ, you really did turn sappy after moving abroad. I told you not to mix with those pretentious art snobs,” Jihoon said with humor. “Jihoon…I’m a pretentious art snob,” the brown haired boy said with a deadpanned face but they both chuckled afterwards. “Don’t worry about stuff like that. Soonyoung and I were thinking about moving anyway. City life was wearing us down physically and mentally. This is just as much for you as it is for us,” Jihoon said, the soft orange sunlight falling on his face. Seungcheol knew he didn’t have to say anything after that but he was so grateful to have his bestfriend with him.

The sun was starting to dip under the horizon and the sky was turning a shade of purple and peach. “Jihoon… Can we make Soonyoung wait just a little more?” Seungcheol said without looking at the boy. Jihoon raised his eyebrow in question. “I … I want to visit him… first,” his voice came out a bit shakier than he would have liked. The blonde boy wanted to protest and say that they should wait until tomorrow morning but the broken look in his friend’s eyes made him swallow his words. He turned the steering wheel to take his friend to where he wanted to go.

It took them about fifteen more minutes before they parked beside a deserted street. Seungcheol got out first and just stared at the entrance for a moment. When he felt his friend’s presence beside him, he took in a breath and walked through the gate and up the pebbled walkway. The air seemed colder past the gates. This place was devoid of life. Seungcheol had come here so many times for so many different people and now, another person demanded his visit. Jihoon led him to where he needed to go and soon the brown haired boy was standing face to face with the man who had raised him since he was only a toddler.

The soft brown hair was replaced with a hard sculpted curve, his sun kissed skin was grey and cold, in place of his cotton shirt and slacks, he wore flowers and dirt and instead of wrinkles, he had writings. He looked at the tomb stone that had replaced his warm and loving uncle. The man who was both his mother and father without being either of them. The man who had raised him like he was his own child, who had fed him, clothed him and kept him warm. The man who taught him how to point his brush at the canvas in hopes that the child wouldn’t point a needle of heroin at his arm. Everything that Seungcheol was at that moment was because of this man. His uncle.

His knees couldn’t hold the burden anymore and he collapsed in front of the grave and shook with tears. The grief that he had felt, ever since he got the phone call that informed him of his uncle’s passing, all came rushing to him at once. Seungcheol’s uncle was the last remaining family member he had left and Seungcheol was the same to his uncle. The man passed away in loneliness without anyone hearing his last goodbyes. That thought alone made his chest feel tight and heavy. There were times when he used to look at his uncle and imagined what wo