September 3, 2017

Dear Diary,

I started my first day of college today. I started my first class at ten in the morning. And ended at nine at night.

I had chemistry as my first class today. It made me think of Taeyong, Lee Taeyong.

In the middle of sophomore year, he disappeared without a word. Jongin never spoke about him.

No one brought him up. Not Yuji, not Yuta, neither did Johnny.

September 5, 2017

Dear Diary,

Taeyong walked into my biology lab today. He looked different. He wasn't as skinny as before. 

He didn't look at me. He just walked over to the bench behind me.

That bastard. I thought he was gone. Really really gone. Taeyong-ah, what happened?

September 6, 2017

Dear Diary,

Taeyong. Lee Taeyong walked into my chemistry lab today. He looked different. His face was shining. Brighter than before.

He didn't look at me. If he did, he knew that I could tell. I could tell the ways his eyes wavers.

I could tell that he's not Taeyong. Our professor assigned him as my lab partner.

He's Lee Taeyong, my lab partner in college.

Not Lee Taeyong, my best friend.

September 6, 2017

Dear Diary,

I saw Jongin yesterday and Haeun today. They looked the same. Nothing changed, what so ever.

Haeun asked me where I went. All I could tell her was reheab. I went to reheab. I disappeared for three years.

I ended up at reheab. All I did in reheab was think about Jongin and Haeun. The way he's probably holding her hands.

That should have been me.

The way he's holding her every night. That should have been me.

But it wasn't.

September 10, 2017

Dear Diary,

I gave Taeyong his Christmas present today. I gave him a tie. A tie that's been buried underneath my constantly changing wardbore.

And he handed me all of the bracelets hanging around his wrist. They were gone.

I was proud and happy. For my lab partner.

September 11, 2017

Dear Diary,

I saw Jongin walking Haeun to class today. I knew it.

He handed her a coffee. Black with two sugars and caramel drizzle.

How she liked it. Two shots of espresso and soy milk, that's how I like mine.

September 14, 2017

Dear Diary,

Taeyong and I exchanged numbers today. We had to. His old lab partner had dropped out of our course.

We had a lab report due in three days. Three days, compare it to three years.