Forgotten

It’s about another half an hour later when a doctor comes out of the room with a tired expression on her face.

“For Mr. Kim Jongin?”

Kyungsoo hurries to stand up, along with all the people in the waiting room. He rushes to the lady with Jongin’s mother by his side. She is clutching his hand tightly.

“How is he?” Sehun is the first one to ask and the woman sighs out.

“His condition is critical. There’s been a direct hit on his head, there are very major complications. His vital signs are out of the normal limit, but the doctors are trying their best to stabilize his condition.”

Kyungsoo’s legs feel weak, especially when Jongin’s mother clutches his hand and starts crying again.

“We’re still working,” the doctor continues. “We are trying to stop the internal bleeding.”

“Is he going to be alright?” Kyungsoo barely whispers. “He isn’t going to-…please tell me he is going to be alright.”

“We’re trying our best.” The woman says quietly. “ I will ask everybody to stay calm and to be patient, alright?”

Kyungsoo hates vague answers. He hates this. He hates the guessing.

But he nods in acknowledgement anyway, trying to keep himself up and strong.

He tries to keep himself from breaking down, but somehow, it seems like the hardest thing to do in the world at this moment.

It’s another two hours later when the same doctor comes out in her green attire and everybody in the waiting room jumps on their feet again. Kyungsoo his lips in anticipation.

“We have managed to stop the internal bleeding. His vital signs are still unstable but he is out of danger now.”

Kyungsoo lets out the breath he’d been holding for so long.

“I cannot promise what will happen from now on,” the woman declares just when another two doctors come out of the room all with tired expressions on their faces. “It all depends on him now.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Kyungsoo barely utters, when someone squeezes his shoulder. He isn’t sure exactly who it is.

“He’ll be fine,” Baekhyun appears on the other side. “Jongin is strong. He’ll be fine.”

Kyungsoo can’t sleep that night. He spends it fidgeting around and trying to calm himself down. Most of the guys leave, after making him promise to keep them updated. Sehun stays, as well as Baekhyun. Kyungsoo appreciates it.

He can’t believe this. He can’t stop thinking about the previous evening, all of them just sitting and chatting and waiting for Jongin to arrive when in reality this has happened. He feels so damn guilty.

There aren’t people rushing in and out of Jongin’s room anymore, but they still won’t allow anybody in. There is a nurse appearing every now and then with a folder in her hand and a very stern look, scribbling things down as she goes out of the room. Every time they ask her what is going on, if he’s alright, she just tells them to be patient.

Kyungsoo isn’t sure what time it is, but the sun is already up high in the sky and Baekhyun is falling asleep on the chairs already. He can’t blame him.

At some point of the day a man barges in the waiting area, Mr. Kim. Jongin’s father. He starts asking questions and Kyungsoo tries to reply when eventually Mrs. Kim can’t hold herself up anymore.

Jongin’s dad isn’t Kyungsoo’s biggest fan, that’s for sure. But when he finishes with the questions, he gives Kyungsoo a little nod and thanks him for staying. Kyungsoo thinks it’s ridiculous he thanks him for that. Of course he’s staying. He loves Jongin more than anything else in the world.

And more time passes, and Kyungsoo’s just standing there in the waiting room with Jongin’s parents. Eventually, some people come by later during the day. Chanyeol returns and Sehun tells him to take Baekhyun home, to let him rest. Suho comes as well, very concerned. He brings food for Kyungsoo and for Sehun, tells them it’s no good if they don’t eat. Eventually forces Kyungsoo to eat when he tells him he’s not hungry.

He also calls his parents at some point of the day, lets them know what’s going on, tells them he’ll call them again when there’s something new.

And that’s that. There’s nothing else he can do except for stay and wait for the doctors to say something new, even though it’s almost been an entire day.

Even though every minute passing on the clock feels like a decade.

Kyungsoo straightens up when the female doctor from last night appears and nods in their direction, before she enters the room with a bunch of nurses. He doesn’t feel himself tapping his foot on the floor, until Sehun places his hand on his knee and looks at him sternly.

“Calm down.” He tells him and Kyungsoo lets out a sigh.

He can’t. He can’t calm down when the one person he loves is in there and he has no idea what is going on with him.

But for the sake of his own sanity, and for Sehun’s, probably, he nods weakly and keeps his eyes on the door, waiting for the medical team to come out and probably finally give them some answers.

And eventually, they do come out and Kyungsoo jumps on his feet with Mr. Kim and Sehun on his sides.

“How is he?” Sehun asks and the doctor just closes the folder with a deep sigh.

“I’d say for now his condition is stable. However, he’s still unconscious and he’s not showing any signs of responsiveness.”

“What does this mean?” Kyungsoo questions, panic overwhelming his voice again. The woman in front measures him with a look, as she heaves out a sigh.

“He suffered a very severe head injury. It is a miracle he is still alive. He is out of danger, but there isn’t any response to the environment. It is still early to tell, but I’m afraid there is a high possibility that Mr. Kim is comatose.”

“He is…he is…” Kyungsoo stammers and Sehun from the side clutches his shoulder.

“He’s what?” the younger one asks and the doctor sighs out again.

“In a state of coma. As I asked you, please be patient.”

There isn’t much Kyungsoo can do or say. He can’t even bring himself to thank the woman. He just takes a few steps backwards, everything around him fading.

He cannot believe this is happening.

Two days pass and Kyungsoo is on the verge of going crazy because they don’t let him go in and see Jongin. Family only, the nurses keep saying and Kyungsoo has to just sit and wait until Jongin’s parents come out and tell him how he is. Jongin’s mother can’t form proper sentences, she keeps on crying.

Jongin’s dad manages to tell him he is hurt, that he’s really not in a good state.

Two days pass and Kyungsoo is still waiting for something to improve, waiting for Jongin to wake up, but he doesn’t. The doctors have now officially declared he’s in a state of coma.

Luhan comes by a lot, and eventually he manages to take Sehun home, make him sleep and eat and relax a bit. When Baekhyun tries doing the same thing, Kyungsoo refuses, because he doesn’t want to leave the place.

“You can’t just stand here all day long! You look like a mess, Kyungsoo! Come on!”

“Piss off.”

But Baekhyun doesn’t give up and it isn’t until later that day that Jongin’s mother eventually walks up to them and seats herself next to him.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo. For being here.” The woman utters calmly, probably for the first time since the day it happened. “Baekhyun is right. You should go home. You should sleep and eat, shower. Rest.”

“I-“

“Please. We’re here. I will immediately let you know if anything changes, alright?”

And Kyungsoo is eventually convinced, he shakily stands up and lets Baekhyun lead him to the car downstairs.

Chanyeol is waiting behind the wheel and he looks up when they sit at the backseat.

“How’s he doing?”

“Nothing new.” Baekhyun heaves a sigh and Chanyeol purses his lips, starting the engine of his car.

Kyungsoo is biting on his lips all the way to his home.

“I’ll go with him,” he hears Baekhyun vaguely tell Chanyeol. “I’ll call you later, OK?”

And so Kyungsoo finds himself in his and Jongin’s apartment with Baekhyun by his side.

“Go shower.” His best friend tells him softly. “I’ll find you something to eat.”

And Kyungsoo listens, for the first time ever.

It feels odd being at home when Jongin isn’t there. He kind of really hates it. But the water from the shower is soothing and he finds himself just closing his eyes and trying to relax while the water streams down his face.

Jongin will be alright. He will wake up and everything will be fine.

And so he tries convincing himself, ignoring the aching feeling in his heart.

He hurries with the shower, because he remembers that Baekhyun is outside, waiting for him.

He hurries to dry himself and get dressed in clean clothes and then to escape.

It smells like eggs when he enters the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re done?” Baekhyun asks as soon as he sees him and points to the plate he’s set on the table. “Eat.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo barely mutters.

“Chanyeol talked with Mrs. Park. He explained everything, told her you won’t be going to work this week. She said it’s fine.”

“Alright.”

Kyungsoo spends the rest of the day in his home and when he tries going back to the hospital in the evening, Baekhyun stops him and tells him to go sleep instead. Kyungsoo makes a mental note to thank him for that someday.

But as he actually moves to the bedroom and sees the made bed, his heart clutches in his chest and he feels his face pull in a grimace.

How could he possibly sleep here? Alone? Knowing that Jongin is in a hospital bed, living thanks to needles and machines hooked in his veins.

He grabs a pillow and moves to the living room slowly.

He tries to rest his head there, but his mind is too preoccupied with worries, with thoughts about his Jongin, whether he will be fine, when he will be fine. He thinks this will be yet another sleepless night.

But Baekhyun is right. He is exhausted and soon after he lies down he feels himself drifting into sleep.

He just hopes that when he wakes up this will all turn out to have been a bad dream. A nightmare.

That Jongin will be fine.

That doesn’t happen.

Not on the following day, not a week later.

Kyungsoo is going crazy. They finally let him see Jongin a few days after the incident, when he literally begs the doctor to go in the room. He is family, in a way.

And what he sees then makes everything just worse.

His boyfriend is lying in the bed, with an oxygen mask on his face and needles coming out of his arms, with IV drips beside his bed and countless monitors on the side, beeping regularly, making Kyungsoo’s head spin as soon as he walks in.

The tears start pricking at the corners of his eyes as soon as he takes everything in, palms flying up to cover his mouth and stop the sobs from escaping. He shakes his head barely, making tiny steps towards the hospital bed. This can’t be real.

“No...” he breathes out shakily, when he sees all the bruises on Jongin’s face and hands, the wounds covered by bandages. He lowers his hand slowly with the intention to caress his boyfriend, however he stops himself in mid air. He’s trembling so much. He doesn’t want to hurt Jongin. Not when he’s like this, not ever. Eventually, he covers his mouth again and the tears finally escape his eyes and he’s just standing there, crying, too afraid to even touch Jongin.

He’s too shocked, he cannot look away but the more he’s looking, the more his heart is breaking. He just can’t bear seeing his lover in such a state. He can’t comprehend this.

Kyungsoo walks over to the chair that is just beside the hospital bed and seats himself because he’s afraid that he might fall if his knees go even weaker. He sits there and now he’s even closer than before and he sees everything so much clearer.

“How could this happen to you,” he lets out a sob and his hands tremble again when he lowers them to the bed. “Why did this happen to you?”

There’s no reply. Just the not so quiet beeping of the monitors, that is slowly driving Kyungsoo out of his right mind.

He sits there and tries to control himself, to collect himself and try to stay strong for himself and for Jongin, but it’s just so hard.

So hard when he very lightly touches one of the unharmed spots on Jongin’s arm with the tips of his fingers. He needs to know it’s all real. And he very much does feel the warmth of Jongin underneath him. He feels himself shiver at the contact.

It is real.

And knowing it just makes everything worse.

The days roll by and before he knows it it’s been a week already and nothing has changed yet.

The doctors can’t do much either. They are tending to Jongin’s injuries and keeping him alive, and at this point there’s nothing else Kyungsoo could want from them. He does realize it doesn’t depend on them anymore.

He wants to spend time in the hospital, he doesn’t want to move away from the side of Jongin’s bed, but reality is hitting him hard. He has his studies, his job, he has all his responsibilities.

And despite everything, despite his inner debates, despite the aching hear