“So, how is Hana in bed?” Jieqiong was genuinely curious about that aspect of the relationship of her friend. Sejeong pretended to think about it for a few minutes, with her muscular arms behind her head, the older girl smiled quite amused.

“Why are you asking me something like that?” She said in her usual deep voice, her eyes were closed, and her instance was calm. Jieqiong longed to touch the hard lines of the stomach of Sejeong, but held back onto that desire. She knows that Sejeong hates being touched.

Jieqiong shifted on bed, and brought the pristine white sheets to cover her bare body, she was cold.

“I am curious. It’s hard to keep up with you” The voice of the young Chinese girl had a tinge of laughter on it, she even giggled. Sejeong smiled at the sound.

Sejeong opened her eyes, and stared at Jieqiong for a long time. She loved how the alabaster skin of the girl felt under her hands. It was hard to pretend in front of such beauty, and Sejeong had so many secrets under her skin, so many tricks under her sleeves, and weirdly enough, Jieqiong knows a few of them.

There’s a thing about desire, it demands to be felt. Or that’s what Sejeong thinks when she is with this girl from a land so far away. Then, the thought of Hana, so delicate like a princess, as fragile as a porcelain doll, so innocent, so tiny. So easy to break. She can’t break Hana, she loves her after all. But love is never enough, not when you walk through the gates of hell that being an idol is.

“I was her first time” Sejeong spoke with a trembling voice. So unblemished, so pure. She can’t help but feel strange talking about Hana and together, is strange for her. “It was cute, I guess”

Jieqiong smiled the kind of smile that can hurt even the strongest man of the world. The kind of smile that speaks of helplessness. Her stare was fixed onto the ceiling. Sejeong took the distraction as an opportunity to let her eyes linger on the Chinese beauty a little more, knowing that maybe she wouldn’t see her in a long time, since hiding her affairs from the Gugudan leader has becoming harder and harder each time.

“What does the first time have to do anything?” The voice of Jieqiong took on her usual mirth, and if you hear a little deeper, like really putting attention, you could encounter an edge. An edge that speaks louder than any action. “I asked you how she was in bed” There are words that Jieqiong can say for fear, but she mean something along the lines of “Hana is so bad that you have to keep seeing other girls?”

Sejeong hummed, and then stared at her hands. Those hands that can be rough or can give the gentlest caress. Those hands that explore against will or that can give warmth. She then remembered pieces of the night she took Hana’s ity, her stomach clenched at the memory. It felt really good, there’s this thing between making love and only having that still amazes the girl. It’s like feelings make the whole ordeal more pleasurable. She loved Hana with all her being; she poured a bit of her heart, a bit of her soul that moment. Still, she can’t treat Hana the same way she treats the others. She had to hold back, she couldn’t let herself lose on that moment, because she could hurt her girlfriend.

“It was” She hesitate, normally she would pour every single thought on Jieqiong, the Chinese is her most loyal confidant. Even if sometimes, darkness coats those thoughts. But, speaking about Hana is hard. “Different” Sejeong concluded. “I enjoyed it nonetheless. Of course, we need practice, but it was fun”

Jieqiong laughed an empty laughter. Her hands twisted the sheets, and her eyes softened.

“It’s interesting to hear that you described the first time of your girlfriend as fun. There’s something that is lacking there, I can feel it”

Sejeong sat up, her abdominal muscles clenched, and Jieqiong’s stomach clenched with desire. She wanted to run her hands along the muscles of Sejeong’s broad shoulders and biceps. She enjoys the harshness of them, it’s better than other skins, way better. The eyes of Sejeong were usually dark, but only when she was her companion. With Hana and other people around she would smile, and her dark eyes would disappear.

“You are a sneaky one” Sejeong extended a hand and caressed Jieqiong’s cheek, the girl closed her eyes at the contact, and leaned onto the touch “But you are right”

Sejeong never undressed when she was having . It was a habit of hers that never really went away with time. She hated to be bare to another person, it make her feel vulnerable. She hates being vulnerable. But, touching another person and feeling vulnerable underneath her body was the most exciting part of her game.

“I had to be tender, romantic, I had to be the Sejeong that Hana fell in love with. I enjoyed being with her, but it wasn’t enough”

“Do you love Hana?” The voice of Jieqiong was reduced as a whisper, feeling Sejeong getting closer to her, the rustling of sheets, of jeans shifting against the bed.

Sejeong chuckled as she pinned the beautiful girl in her arms to the bed. She enjoyed using her body to force Jieqiong against the bed, she enjoyed how her hands would mark a path on alabaster skin, how it was softer than silk, and she would hear sighs against her ear, and then whimpers. It would be pleasure and pain, her favorite combination.

“My silly girl” Sejeong muttered against a pale throat, while her hand that had memorized the map that is Jieqiong’s body would follow the way towards a narrow waist, and a protuberant hipbone. That hand harshly pulled a thigh agains