Jisoo prepares dosiraks (도시락) for Jinyoung and Doyoung and Lisa begs for Jisoos forgiveness

-

Jisoo looked at the cook book once again.

She had been staring at this one page for nearly 4 hours now. Sratching her head she looked at the photo below the instruction and looked up at what was in front of her. She couldn't help but compare. The picture in the book was too perfect.

The image displayed three black plastic boxes. The first box held the whitest bap she had ever laid her eyes on. The second box had small compartments and within each compartment contained a variety of side dishes: kimchi, namul, gamjajeon, jeyook bokkeum. Beside it was a smaller box but with a rounded bottom filled with seasoned beef broth- jang jorim.

The colours of the dishes all popped out from the page and made her tummy grumble.

Jisoo lost confidence when she looked back up at her own boxes which were placed on the messy table top. How come hers ended up looking the complete opposite? 

The rice was slightly over cooked- it was clear from the colour alone. The side dishes however looked better, although they hadn't the vibrancy nor the same impact as the ones in the book but it looked good enough for Jisoo. In fact, her pride returned knowing that although her presentation wasn't the best, she knew it tasted better than it looked.

Picking up a teaspoon she lowered it into the broth and took a spoonful. She smacked her lips twice and tilted her head to the side in contemplation. She couldn't find the right words to describe it. It was alright to Jisoo, it wasn't too bland nor too salty. It was just right.

Jisoo felt water. All this cooking made her forget to eat dinner earlier. She had been so preoccupied making two helpings that she didn't realise how late it had already gotten.

"Ah looks don't matter" she shut the book and nodded, "its the taste that matters" she placed the book aside and decided that she was done.

There was nothing else she could do. She placed lids on the boxes and made sure they were tightly sealed before placing them in the fridge to preserve them overnight.

She stretched her arms and yawned tiredly. A whole evening was spent making the lunch boxes for her two co-workers. She didn't think much of it. She was being friendly and wanted to give something to show her appreciation to her fellow MCs for all those times of rescuing her when her dignity was on the line. Not that Jisoo made many mistakes in the first place; it was Jisoo's random act of kindness.

She couldn't wait to see their faces.

Jinyoung's especially- she recalled one afternoon, they were sitting in the waiting room when recording had just finished; the two were on the topic of childhood memories and he had previously mentioned that he missed having packed lunches that his grandmother would make for him at least once a week. He took it for granted back then. A 10 year old Jinyoung didn't want to be seen with a childish dosirak while his peers had cool and grown up sandwhiches and snacks. He shamefully admitted that he would throw it away and lie to his grandmother when she asked if he ate it all. Then one day he just got so annoyed he told her to stop making him the silly lunch boxes, that he was a big boy now and that he didn't want to be embarrassed by her anymore. He sadly revealed that that was the last time he ever recieved one from his her- or from anyone- after his heartless outburst.
She passed away when Jinyoung turned 14.

Jisoo wanted to see his reaction the most because she tried to recreate a replica of the dosiraks his grandmother used to make before. She bit her lip trying to hide her grin from spreading. Why did she feel giddy all of a sudden?

Jisoo shook her head and brushed off the tingling feeling spurring within her stomach. Reasoning out with herself, she claimed it was from hunger. After all, she did skip dinner with her members when they asked her to come along to eat out earlier. Jisoo propped herself on the kitchen table and grabbed her phone.

It was 10 past midnight- Jisoo was supposed to be in bed by now, they were scheduled an early morning practice in the YG building at 5AM which would normally last 2 hours. Then Jisoo had her inkigayo shoot to go to at 9AM.

She sighed deeply and rubbed her drooping eyes.

She was about to make a beeline to her room but the stack of dishes and the mess on the kitchen counter hindered her from doing so. She thought about leaving it till the next day but all of her members had gone to bed and it was unfair for her to leave the mess until the morning, so with a heavy heart she prepared herself to do the tedious job. Tying her hair into a messy pony and rolling up her sleeves she huffed out the last bit of energy she had within her petite frame and started scrubbing.

-

Jisoo walked down the hallway only to be greeted with Jennie who was doing yoga poses along the hallway.

"Good morning unnie," Jennie said as she easily perfected a wall split "you're late waking up today"

"You're up early this morning," Jisoo had just gotten out from the shower and was drying her hair with a towel. "I was busy last night" she poked the younger girl with her foot playfully "where's Lisa and Chaeng?" 

"Lisa's left to practice early today and Chaeng's.. eating" Jennie then rolled into a cat pose.

Jisoo was always left speechless watching Jennie do yoga. She did it every morning and every morning without fail. She always looked so elegant and graceful. Jisoo carefully stepped over Jennie and headed to the kitchen.

There she found Rose with her cheeks puffed out munching on a bowl of mixed fruits. Jisoo couldn't help but giggle. She really did resemble a chipmunk.

Her eyes were glued to her phone screen which was propped up on the table. Upon further inspection Jisoo recognized the show Rose was fixated on. It was the Austrailian tv show; Neighbours.

Jisoo was familiar with it since she had sat through an entire episode once before; Chaeyoung claimed it was her all time favourite and that it always reminded her of home. Jisoo wasn't that fond of the show unfortunately- she found it difficult to understand due to the strong Aussie accent. Not that Rose's and Jennie's accents weren't strong enough but she found their intonations better to comprehend than the ones in the show. Perhaps one day she would conquer the New Zealand and Austrailian accents herself? 

Jisoo shook her head at the crazy thought. She first needed to improve her current ability. Jisoo understood english pretty well- she just lacked confidence with it and is shy when asked to speak it, especially in front of their fans. She is aware of her accent and would love to improve her pronounciation so that she can converse with their international fans better.

She's even thought of asking around for lessons; but she just didn't know who to ask. She refused to ask any of her members it would cause too much unecessary drama.Jisoo didn't even ask her parents to teach her how to drive for the first time. The closest person she knew who had great english skills was Jinyoung. But she couldn't possibly ask him either.. or could she?

She was partially grateful Jinyoung, yet again, made an (unwelcome) appearance in her thoughts as it helped her remember the dosiraks she left in the fridge overnight. As she opened the fridge she expected to find a large container with six black boxes stacked one on top of the other. Jisoo titled her head to the side in confusion.

In the fridge there was only three black boxes within the large plastic container.

There was only one dosirak in the fridge.

Jisoo started to panick.

She picked up the plastic container and placed it on the counter. She opened the box and looked inside. She definitely made two dosiraks last night. She placed six boxes in the platic container and sealed it shut. Jisoo shook her head in disbelief. Just how out of it was she, that she imagined herself making the second box.

Just then Jennie walked in the kitchen and sat down next to Rose.

Picking up a slice of an apple she turned back slightly to Jisoo and held one out to her, the former completely oblivious to the latter having a total mental breakdown.

"Unnie you want a slice-"

"Oh no, no no no no.."

Jisoo turned around and locked eyes with Jennie. Jennie cocked her head at her in response.

Jisoo had gone a bit mad. Her eyes looked even bigger as they darted across the room frantically. Jisoo then started pacing up and down the kitchen mumbling to herself.

Jennie elbowed Rose, who was completely unaware of Jisoos current situation as she was too caught up on the recent episode to even bother noticing Jisoos mild panic attack.

"Are you alright?"

Jennie was worried. She had never seen Jisoo act like this before. Jisoo just kept mutturing to herself and her pacing got faster and faster.

Rose finally turned around to see what all the ruckus was about.

"Oh I guess someone woke up from the wrong side of the bed this morning.." Rose innocently joked.

Jennie shot her an amused look but then looked at her sternly.

"Not funny, she looks really shaken" Jennie looked back on the pacing girl with concern.

Rose looked back at Jisoo. Rose swallowed the last piece of mango she had in then she paused the video on her phone and pushed back her chair. Standing up she marched over to the elder catching her by her shoulders and gripping them with force.

"Jisoo unnie, speak!"

"Did I forget.. there's only one.. I can't.. I couldn't have.. am I that stupid-"

Rose puffed out her cheeks in annoyance.

"Coherently and in a language we can all understand please"

Jisoo looked up at the younger girls with fearful eyes. "I thought I made two but I think that's what I thought last night I was so tired you don't understand I might have been totally out of it that I forgot to make another one now there's only one in there but I'm giving it to two people and they can't just share it that's so embarrassing"

Jennie noticed the plastic container behind Jisoo. She went over and looked into the box and saw there there was a set of lunchboxes in there. Rose noticed the container after Jennie.

Rose then loosened the grip on Jisoo and burst into laughter. She pointed at the box and then proceeded to tell Jisoo that Lisa had taken the other one as her breakfast when she left early to go practice.

Jisoo was only frozen in place with wide open as she processed the information slowly.

Jennie couldn't help but giggle despite the one telling Rose just minutes before that it wasn't funny. 

"I think she also thought that these cute lunchboxes was from our manager.. that's what I thought when I saw it this morning" Jennie stated.

Jisoo closed her eyes and took in deep breaths. She wasn't mad. She did feel a bit ludicrous after making all those things in her head. She wanted to laugh. Jisoo turned to the counter and slowly lowered her forehead to the cold surface. She also wanted to cry.

Jennie and Rose both looked at the girl with serious concern this time.

"Are you okay?"

Jennie was about to pat her back to assure her that the world hasn't totally ended yet but suddenly, like thunderbolt, Jisoo popped right back up and flashed them a sweet smile.

The two younger girls jumped back in shock. Jisoo looked horrifying. Her hair was still slightly wet; it was dead straight and in unruly strands shrouding her face, all that was visible was her big brown eyes and perfect white teeth. Rose backed away from her line of sight and hopped back into the chair to avoid the wrath of Kim Jisoo. 

Jennie however wasn't quick in her escape.

Jisoo grabbed Jennie by the arm and proceeded to pull and tug on it. Jennie tried pulling her arm back with equal force but failed as she was too focused on not staring at the Grudge lookalike that had taken its residence in Blackpinks eldest member.

"Help me make another one"

Jennie paused tugging and turned to Rose.  With one look they knew they had no other choice but to comply.

After the awkward practice at YG Ent and before Jisoo left for Inkigayo she made the girls, including Lisa, help her make another set. It was rushed and had even worse presentation than the one she made last night. Jisoo couldn't even do a simple taste test as the time did not allow.

Not to mention the culprit of the day distracted the cook endlessly which also made them loose their momentum quite a few times. Lisa was apologetic and begged for Jisoo to forgive her. Jisoo faked her snobbish attitude towards her throughout the whole cooking extravaganza. She thought it would be fun to pretend to hate their cutest youngest member. She was only being playful, in her dark sadistic way. Jisoo wasn't that kind of person who held grudges seriously.

She had already forgiven Lisa the moment she started crying after Jennie and Rose told her of her mistake at the start of practice. It was hilarious watching Lisa wipe her tears and blaming it on her allergic reaction to pollen when their dance coach asked her what was wrong.

She eventually told her after though. She wanted to keep going until the end of the day but Lisa wouldn't have survived through it. She looked like a mess the entire time- she was still sweaty from the practice, refusing to go shower until she finished the lunch boxes for her unnie. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying every 10 minutes although she claimed it was from cutting the onions.

When she announced the big reveal Jisoo was not at all surprised that Lisa wasn't upset. She had every right to be- Jisoo made her cry the whole morning. Despite this, Lisa gave Jisoo the biggest hug and longest kiss on the cheek she had ever recieved in her life, thankful knowing that she was still loved. As tall as Lisa was, she truly and wholeheartedly is just one big soft baby.

-

Jisoo sat in the swivel chair in their waiting room contemplating how to go about this. In a span of 3 hours she came up with two plans. 

One: she was going to give the one she made the night before to Jinyoung and give the 'experimental' one to the unsuspecting Doyoung. She did feel a pang of guilt. She tried convincing herself thiat she didn't mean any harm. The whole reason she made the dosiraks in the first place was because of Jinyoung. So it was alright for her to give him the properly prepared one- the one she made sure tasted well. She was almost certain that the dosirak she made hours before with the girls wasn't all that bad.. it wasn't laced with poison. It was perfectly fine! She was hoping it was so.

Two: she was going to chance it. The boxes she used for both were identical. She had no way of knowing which was which. She determined that for this to be fair she would have to spin the plastic container container and close her eyes so she wouldn't unconciously follow the favourable one out of the two. The first one she would touch would be for Doyoung and then the last would be left for Jinyoung. Simple and fair.

Jisoo sat in her chair drumming the tips of her fingers along her pursed lips.

She knew in her heart there was no way she could execute plan number one without feeling like the worst person alive. As evil as Jisoo can be, she couldn't go to that extreme of showing her obvious favouritism for one over the other. She didn't want Doyoung to be cheated out.. yet there was also that large part in her heart telling herself not to hand Jinyoung the worst dosirak he will recieve for the first time in a long time. She was not prepared to see him choke on hardened rice or forcibly swallow kimchi that most likely tasted nowhere near kimchi. She was also pretty sure the soup had traces of Lisas tears in them too.

These thoughts did not comfort the dread that was now eating up Jisoo.

She buried her face in her hands as she pictured the faces of the boys; she imagined them taking one bite and then comically spitting it out. Her mind went as far as conjuring up the image of the boys dropping to the floor and gripping their throats while their faces turned into vile shades of purple and red. Her thoughts ran rampant and plagued her imagination.

Jisoo looked at the clock above the door. Lunch was in 30 minutes. They had to shoot one last thing before proceeding with break. She was waiting for the Stage Manager to call her out for shooting. She knew she had to decide now.

She was going to do it. She decided to let go and place her fate within the hands of the world. Plan number two was going to happen regardless of how selfish she wanted to be just for Jinyoungs approval.

-

Handing over Doyoungs dosirak was easy.

He spotted her first along the hallways. Since he came up to greet her first, Jisoo didn't have time to freak herself out and poke fun at her wavering confidence. 

He was genuinely surprised and was seen slightly blushing when Jisoo explained the reason why she made it. He was gratful for her efforts and couldn't wait to brag about it to the rest of his NCT members. He recieved a dosirak from Kim Jisoo of BLACKPINK! s would kill to be in his place right now. Jisoo patted Doyoungs head after the latter couldn't stop gushing with endless 'thank you's.

Handing over Jinyoungs dosirak was harder.

Jisoo learned from Doyoung that Jinyoung was in the male MC waiting room. Jisoo confirmed his presence after asking one of his stylists. Jisoo chose to sit down on the chairs in the hallway for a little bit. The chair was adjacent to the door where Jinyoung was resting.

Jisoo looked around at her surroundings to distract herself from the erratic sounds her heart was making. All that's left now is to go in and just hand him the dosirak.

Taking a deep breath she tried hyping herself up. It was simple. In and out.

Just hand him the boxes and say the prepared spiel. It was even written on the inside of her palms incase she would forget.

Unconciously she rubbed the inside of her palms, unaware that the excessive sweat caused her pen-written-spiel to completely wash off resulting in a mess of dark ink spreading across the tips of her fingers.

Jisoo then stood up and made a scowl. She refused to accept the fact that her emotions had taken the best from her. She had faced more terrifying scenarios than this!

She had faced YG countless of times during her trainee period- he was ten times more petrifying than Jinyoung could ever be!

What was she so afraid of?

My mom didn't raise a coward!

Jisoo burst into the room and found Jinyoung sprawled along the couch reading a book. He was all alone. Jinyoung sat up immediately alarmed by her loud entrance.

"Jinyoung!"

Jisoo froze upon realising that she didn't even knock to let him know of her presence beforehand. She felt herself turning red.

"Jisoo" Jinyoung popped the book he was reading on the coffee table then fixed himself, tidying his hair and flattening the cumples on his large button down shirt "hey, what are you doing here?"

Jisoo felt slightly faint. For a moment she forgot why she was there. She couldn't mutter a single coherent word. opened and closed. Her eyes were frantic and she tried with all her might not to run away and hide.

After what seemed like eternity Jisoo recalled her written explanation which was inscribed within the inside of her right palm. She was thankful her brain restarted itself and actually provided some sort of relief. She knew she couldn't make it obvious while reading it.

Somehow she managed to look like a girl who was simply rubbing her temples due to an incessant headache but in reality she could easily see the writings on her palm if she looked up at it.

Jisoo felt proud of herself for pulling it off.

But then she immediately retracted her statement the moment she looked at the washed out sribbles. She had jinxed herself.

"I'm here to give you this ro..rock?" Jisoo squinted at the word again and quickly corrected herself "box, I mean box! as broken of my latitude for you and Ta- Taeyang for p-paving me throughout the whole Inkigayo shoot" 

Jisoo stared at the confused Jinyoung waiting for his reply.

As if she were watching a movie her mind reeled in the playback and replayed the horrors of what she just said. It dawned on Jisoo that she made no sense at all and that Jinyoung was completely right to have the most puzzled expression on his face.

Jisoo shut her eyes in pure embarrassment.

She wished upon the heavens that the floor she stood upon turned to dust and swallow her whole.

This couldn't get any worse. Might as well just go in blind. Jisoo gathered the last strands of her dignity and decided to make do with what she had left.

"Jinyoung this is for you," Jisoo placed the boxes on the coffee table beside his book. She looked down and refused to meet his curious eyes "It's a dosirak" 

Jinyoung kept his eyes on the three black square boxes on the table.

When he didn't respond Jisoo continued "I just wanted to say thanks, for you know, taking care of me out there.." she played with her fingers tugging them apart and pressing them up against eachother "It was the least I could do to show my grat-"

"You remembered,"

Jisoo looked back up at Jinyoung who was staring straight up at her.

This time Jisoo was unresponsive so Jinyoung continued "I told you about that time, where I was a complete brat to my grandmother," Jinyoung shook his head and laughed reminiscing the old distant memory "she really didn't make me any more after that day"

Jisoo simply nodded too shy to speak out incase she's say more stupid things.

"I can't believe you," Jinyoung grinned at her boyishly and then stood up to walk across the room. Jisoo followed him with her eyes in wonder. She wondered what he was thinking about.

Jinyoung came back with two sets of chopsticks. He stopped right in front of her and held one out.

Jinyoung playfully poked her with it. "Let's eat together"

This wasn't part of the plan at all. This was completely going astray from the plan. The plan had no instructions on having a spontaneous lunch with Jinyoung. It was supposed to be simple. The whole point of her going in and out was so that she couldn't see the face of her co-worker while he was being food poisoned.

Yet despite this, she didn't know why her hand decided to take the chopstick from his hand. She didn't know why her legs took her from standing to sitting, in the couch right beside Jinyoung.

This was going all too fast and Jisoo wanted to slow it down.

Jinyoung grabbed the coffee table and pulled it closer towards them. He then proceeded to unbox the dosirak.

Jisoo held her breath and bit her bottom lip to keep her from screaming in humiliation. The presentation wasn't like the one she had seen in the book.

Hell, the presentation was probably nothing compared to the ones his grandmother made him all those years before. Hers was messy and all over the place. This was the one she had made with the girls earlier.

Her worst fear had come true.

Jisoo looked at Jinyoungs face for any signs of disappointment.

Instead she found none. Jinyoung was beaming. His eyes were sparkling with pure excitement and his eye crinkles were showing. Jisoo felt touched. Jinyoung couldn't wipe the grin off of his face. He thought it looked perfect.

He couldn't believe she had spent time in making these for him and Doyoung. His whole body was flooded with warmth when he realised that she didn't forget. He knew it was a stretch but he wanted to believe that the main reason she made these was because of the story he told her before. He was really overwhelmed with happiness.

He couldn't wait to dig in. Taking one of the lids he took some of the rice and scooped a decent amount of it, then he did the same for the side dishes.

Without a word he handed the lid full of food to Jisoo who was still mute. She was observing him from the side in complete and utter awe.

"Eat up" He waited for her to take the lid "careful, you might spill it"

Jisoo smiled at his overly caring nature.

Jinyoung then turned around and proceeded to digest the remaining contents. He spoke non-stop compliments and showed her countless thumbs up to reassure the girl. Her worried and tense expressions didn't go unnoticed by Jinyoung. Jinyoung found it cute how she thought that he wouldn't have liked it.

"It's so good Jisoo," he stated with a mouthful of food. "I think you've found your true calling"

Jisoo didn't feel so scared anymore. She thought it was foolish of her the first place to feel so nervous. Jinyoung was too sweet with his compliments. Jisoo was happy to admit that the food didn't taste all that bad either. She was worried over nothing.

By the end the two were sitting on the couch comfortably and telling more stories to eachother.

"Thank you Jisoo," Jinyoung looked at her and nodded in her direction "I mean it, this was really.. I appreciate it"

Jisoo felt content hearing those words. She didn't know why she had been worried for such trivial things. Truth be told she wasn't worried about the quality of food entirely, although it had been a factor. She was mostly worried about how he would react- she didn't know whether it would hit far too close to home for him and cause him to be upset or if she would come across as slightly invasive, bringing back obviously painful memories from his past.

Unintentionally, this whole thing was honouring his beloved grandmother and finally closing that open ended chapter in his life. Tying loose ends, as she might have liked to call it. Jinyoung acknowledged this and was eternally grateful to her. 

As childish as it sounded, she hoped that she had relieved that child within Jinyoung who was always regretful about that past memory. She hoped she had brought upon a new and happier memory where he could cherish and recall instead.

At the end of it all Jisoo was happy enough from one thing- Jinyoung had scraped every last piece of the contents in all the three boxes.  Not a single rice grain could be seen.

Just like he used to do in Grade 1 when he first recieved a dosirak from his loving grandmother.