I swallow the tears that dig inside my heart,

so my longing won’t lift up its heard,

so my exhausted heart won’t know

Even though I painfully push you away (I wait for you)

I don’t think I can stop missing you (I don’t think it can be helped)

I don’t think I can let you go.

Yoona POV

“You look good Noona” Bogum said to me

Guess what? I’m wearing a big polo with tshirt inside of it and a pajama. Bogum lend these clothes to me because I don’t have any proper clothes except of the white dress I wore a minute ago. They allowed me to stay here in one condition to be one of their staffs. I sighed I guess I don’t have any choice.

“All you have to do is make sure everything here is clean, arrange those files, clean those mess and accommodate the guest if they are here.” He said to me in a serious tone

“ okayyyy” I said to him

“Hyung don’t be so mean to Noona” Bogum is so nice why can’t Taecyeon be this?

I watch as Taecyeon rolled his eyes and walks away and open his computer

“Don’t worry noona, I will help you with that” he said and he patted my head. Thank you so much Bogum

“Okay let’s start to work” he announce… well yeah after this shift .. maybe I can go back to my house to see my family and I will go to Jonghyun. I miss them so much.

JONGHYUN POV

I examine the small red velvet box. I slowly open it and a simple ring is there, a small stud of diamond ring engrave at the center, she was supposed to wear this. Right now, right between those long fingers of her, she could be beside me right now, talking about our upcoming marriage.

But I think it won’t happen everything is so hard right now, especially right now that she disappeared.

I sighed as I close the box and throw it at my bed, I kick harshly the coffee table besides me; throw the things that I can get.*plaaakk* loud noises will be here. I close my eyes tightly, trying to ignore the pain, the anger, the longing for her. It was all mix up.

And I suddenly I saw our picture together and I grab it. This is our first anniversary picture together our first trip in Jeju. I miss those memories were both so happy that time. As I realized tears are coming from my eyes.

“Where are you? Why did you left mo Yoona?” I cried, even if I don’t want to believe with the fact that she left me, that she didn’t run away from me, far away I just want to know where is she. The fact that I can’t imagine where to begin, especially without her beside me.

*knock knock knock* “Sir Jonghyun” I recognize the voice it’s my assistant

“come in” I commanded

I hear the door is open and I look away

“Are you alright Sir? You're hand is bleeding” he said to me as I see bloods in my right palm trying to ignore the pain. He was staring at me with those worried eyes

“I’m alright it’s just a little bruise” I said to him

“Uhm ... I already booked your flight for tomorrow morning Sir for your meeting and schedule in Japan”  he said to me

I look away and nod back to him, from the corner of my eyes, I saw him bowed to me. He slowly walks away, approaching the door

“Stop Mr Kim” I said

He automatically stops and turns around to face me. “Yes sir?” he asked me

“Did you found her?” I asked hoping that there’s a chance

I can see him trying to look away from me; he signed and shook his head.

My heart hurts so much that I don’t even know if I can bring it back again.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

YOONA POV

*back in studio*

After of almost five hours of working with Bogum finally were done. I feel so exhausted because of what we do like arranging stuffs of huge files, helping them to assist the models and yeah including cleaning these studio. I sighed as I look in the glass doors it’s already dark outside. I forgot that I will go to see my family and my Jonghyun. I sighed I guess I will go tomorrow morning to see them and I badly need a rest.

After we eat dinner, Bogum lead me to my room which were I can stay.

“Noona this is your room” he said to me. Not bad to stay, it is a medium size room with a white paint background and there are some boxes here.

“Sorry if this room is messy, if I have a time I will remove those box and put it on the storage room” he said to me with and showing his apologetic look.

“Its okay Bogum don’t be sorry to me” I said to him

“and by the way Noona, I brought some clothes that you can wear” he show me a bag full of clothes and put it on my bed. This guy is so nice unlike Taecyeon.

“Thank you so much Bogum, and I forgot to say thank you for accepting me here and I’m so sorry if I’m causing too much trouble to you” I said to him sincerely.

“You should be thank you to my Hyung Taecyeon because she’s the one who accepts you first and help you Noona” he said to me. Yeah he is right even if he is so cold to me he still helps me.

“Yeah you are right I should be thankful for him. Still thank you for being nice Bogum” I said

“No problem noona, okay I will let you rest because we need to wake up early for tomorrow, let’s just say that this is your first ever event with us you will come with us “he said to me excitedly. What tomorrow? Argh I guess another tiring day. I didn’t say I word to him and I just  nod.

“if you need anything just knock on my room, its in the right side. Good night and rest well Noona” he walk away and closed the door

“Okay good night too Bo gum” I said to him, as he leaves in my room I lay in my bed I sighed deeply and stared at the ceiling. When can I have a chance to see them? I badly want to see my appa and my sister. I want to know how they are, if they know what happen to me I want to see them but the thing is I don’t know where I can find them. Why I can’t remember anything. I sighed I also wondering how he is. My oppa I miss him so much. Aisshh just don’t lose hope Yoona you will have a chance and everything will be fine. I said to myself and didn’t know I fall asleep.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Irene POV

“Okay class dismiss, happy weekend everyone” as the professor announce and exit in the room, everyone in the class let out a sighed well you know being in college is so tiring. This day I’m physically and mentally tired because of my whole day schedule in school; As I get up and arrange my things ready to go home I check my phone if there’s a message and I got 1 it’s from my Appa.

“Juhyunnie I’m already home, Appa is so tired that’s why I can’t cook. Just eat your dinner before you go home. Take care in the streets- Appa <3” as I read it I guess I will eat again alone.

I put my earphones on and started to exit from the class room. As I walked from my locker to put my books someone approach me and they are my bestfriends.

“ Unnie  let’s go for samgyupsal” Yeri asked me cutely our maknae in the group

“I bet you are hungry because of our whole day sched, come with us please” Joy pleads me showing her puppy eyes.

As I closed my locker and turned around to face them I smiled and removed my earphones.

“It’s been a long time since we hangout Unnie come and join us can you?” Wendy asked me and I can see that they are hoping for me to come. Yeah it’s been awhile since we hangout I miss them so much

“I’m sorry girls but I need to go home my appa texted me a while ago” I lied to them the truth is I just want to go home. I felt sorry for them. I’m just not in the mood to come with them.

“Unnie we can text uncle to let him know that you’re with us so that he will not be worried” Seulgi suddenly said I know they desperately wants me to join. But I know deep inside they pity on me on because of my state.

“I’m sorry girls but I’m not in the mood for today” I said and ready to walk away from them and suddenly Seulgi grabs my arm and I stopped from walking

“You know what we are all best friends right? Remember that were always here for you” Seulgi really knows me well. I sighed and I smile to her. Suddenly they all come to me and they hug me. Aw my best friends really love me.

“Unnie don’t hesitate to come with us, and be strong” Wendy said to me as I nodded I’m so lucky because I have them and because they all understand me.

“Okay girls thank you so much for understanding me” I said to them it just that I’m still hurt and worried for all things happen to my family.

“Take care in your way home Unnie” Yeri said to me and I nod

“Bye Unnie” Joy said to me and they all bid bye to me. I sighed and started walking to go home

I took a bus to go home and I decided to seat in the back near in the window and I put my earphones on. I only stare in the window watching the cars passing by in the streets and the big buildings and the lights.

Thoughts are running on my head… I miss the old things that I usually do, the happy moments in my life. I realized that everything is not permanent, everything has changed. I just need a break from everything. Suddenly I felt like I’m crying. I miss my unnie so much, I miss the old us.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“I’m home” I shouted as I enter in our house. No one answers I look in the clock it’s already 10pm, I guess appa already sleeping.

As I look around in our house I remembered that it used to be noisy especially in living room were me, my Appa and Unnie watching our favorite variety show laughing and eating our midnight snacks.

I immediately go upstairs to my room as I near in my room, I suddenly heard appa talking to someone in his room. I thought he is asleep.

“I still don’t have a news from her, still no answer from her phone, I already asked help from the other police I’ve known here in Seoul but still they can’t find her” I heard Appa talking to someone but I don’t know who is that.

“Me and Detective Choi already searched the place where she last saw and still we can’t find her. And I also asked help to all of her friends and they trying to contact and find her but they failed” I recognized the voice its detective Park.

“I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what is the reason why she left. I know we didn’t fight that time also I know she and Irene don’t have a misunderstanding at all” my appa said and here I’am standing in front of his door still listening.

“I’m sorry to say this but what if she didn’t really left but she is gone” Detective Park said

“What do you mean she is gone huh?” Appa raised his voice

“This is only our assumption Sir what if Miss Yoona is not missing but she is dead in an accident” detective Park said and I felt like my knees are shaking as I heard what he said that my unnie is dead?

“DON’T SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! SHE IS MISSING NOT DEAD!!!” I heard my appa shouted. I feel my tears running in my cheeks.

“ Detective Park please find my daughter I’m begging you, I just want to see her.. and if its true please just give me a strong evidence on your assumptions” appa said

“You can go now” my appa added

I can’t take it anymore I opened the door and I saw my Appa looking at me with a shocking face.

“Ireneeee what are you doing here?” appa asked me and I ignore him

“Detective Park is it true that my unnie is dead?” I said to him as my tears still streaming down to ny face

“Irene you shouldn’t be here, go to your room now” my appa commands me

“NO JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION MR PARK.” I shouted while crying

“I’m sorry Maam” detective park just answer me like that

Just then I feel my knees shaking and I fall in the floor and I’m crying non stop I can’t believe it what if my unnie is dead. Just then appa come to me and hugs me trying to comfort me even though I know he is also hurt on what detective park assumption is.

“Shhhh everythings gonna be alright Irene” as he whisper to me and I’m still crying like a baby to my appa’s arm

“I miss my unnie so much Appa, I hope she comeback to us ” I sobbed as I close my eyes praying for that to happen.

“Me too I miss her so much. Appa will do everything just to find your unnie” he said to me and still hugging me I can feel he also crying in silent.

I just want my unnie to comeback I don’t want her to be like my eomma that left and don’t comeback to us. Please Unnie comeback to us. Please…

THIS IS SO SAD  *sorry again for some errors*

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Love you all <3 Taecyoon moments are coming in the next chapters