The two are strolling down the beach barefoot, hands intertwined. The sun slowly sets in the horizon, casting a warm glow that reflects off of the sea. Although it’s a beautiful view, his attention is captivated by the even more beautiful girl walking beside him – he can’t help but notice how utterly breathtaking she looks in her flowing white sundress. They continue to walk in a comfortable silence until he comes to an abrupt stop and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Immediately, she reaches up to slide her arms around his shoulders. The two smile at each other lovingly as he bends down his head, touching their foreheads together, noses brushing.

“I love you.” he whispers.

“I love you.” she repeats.

He places a chaste kiss on her lips then pulls back and draws her closer into his embrace, burying his face into her shoulder.

Her breath tickles his ear as she turns her head to him.

“Donghae…” she whispers, sending tingles down his spine.

He sighs contentedly, drunk on her presence. He plants gentle kisses on her collarbone, and she giggles at the sensation.

“…I want to stay like this forever.” he mumbles into her shoulder.

“Me, too.” she says, a hint of sadness in her voice. “But… you have to wake up now.”

His breath hitches, and he freezes, confused by her words.

“What?” he says, pulling his head back slightly to look at her properly.

“You have to wake up, Donghae.” she repeats, a bittersweet smile on her face.

“Jessica, what –“

“Wake up.”

He wakes up with her name on his lips.

“Jessica.” he whispers, hand instinctively reaching out beside him. His eyes snap open as he realizes the space on his bed beside him – her space – is empty. Absentmindedly, his fingertips trace her outline on the bed, the absence of warmth from his bed suddenly becoming more pronounced.

Donghae wakes up to the sunlight streaming through his window. Instinctively, his hand reaches out, and his eyes flutter open as he feels the familiar warmth beside him. Gazing at his girlfriend, his fingertips lovingly trace the curve of her sleeping body. Gently, he pulls her a bit closer and she immediately snuggles up to him, burying her face in his broad chest. He smiles down at her in pure adoration and bends his head down to plant a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

“Good morning, princess.”

Slowly, she looks up to meet his gaze. She lifts her arm and lightly caresses his face, smiling at him sleepily. The sight melts his heart.

“Good morning, my fishy prince.”

He sits up and shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. Looking over to the empty space on his bed once more, his heart clenches. Slowly, he draws in a deep breath and sighs, getting up to go through his morning routine in silence.

Hours later, he finds himself alone at the company. As he walks into a training room, he pauses at the door.

“Oppa!” she squeals, laughing as they run into the training room, hands intertwined. She flops down on the floor, catching her breath while he goes over to shut the door. As he walks over to her, she sits up with an amused expression on her face.

“Care to tell me why you kidnapped me from my practice?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it kidnapping. You were a very much willing participant in the act.” he replies, a cheeky grin on his face as he plops down next to her.

She lightly smacks his stomach in jest.

“Yah!” he shouts, clutching at his abdomen. He turns to look at her, an exaggerated pout on his face. “That hurt.”

“Quiet down!” she hisses, looking around anxiously. “What if someone sees us?”

“Don’t worry about it, my Pretty Sica.”

“But you’re debuting soon. The company – “

“Nothing can keep me away from you, Jessica. Not the company. Not any of the managers. Not even my members.” He grasps her shoulders lightly, looking into her eyes. “Nothing will keep this fish prince away from his ice princess.”

She returns his intense gaze, an unsure smile on her face.

He blinks and the image is gone. After setting his bag down on the training room floor, he slaps his cheeks lightly and turns to face his reflection in the mirror. He does his warm-up stretches, standing in complete silence.

The door suddenly opens and he turns to see Jessica walk in. Her eyes widen once she sees him.

“Oh, Donghae-ssi. I’m sorry, I didn’t think that anyone else was in here.” she apologizes hurriedly, turning to leave the room. “I’ll just go – “

Impulsively, he grabs her hand, causing her to look back at him.

“It’s okay. I was just about to take a break, anyway.” he says dismissively.

She turns away from his intense gaze.

“I should go.” she says, trying to pull her hand out of his grasp.

“Jessica.”

She faces him fully at his call. Taking the opportunity, he takes hold of her other hand.

“Stay.”

As if in a trance, she moves in closer to him. He immediately reciprocates her advances, leaning down to her. Just as their lips are about to meet, she turns away, a regretful expression on her face.

“Donghae… Kim Young-min sajangnim… He – ‘ she abruptly stops herself.

He feels his heart break as his eyes bore into hers, urging for her to continue.

“You have your comeback for Swing, and I still have my Mr.Mr. promotions and I… We… I – I just…” she backs away from him, pulling her hands away from his slack grasp. “I can’t.”

He watches as she runs out of the room. A few seconds pass, then he lets out a frustrated shout and bangs his fist against his reflection.

Donghae takes a deep breath and slowly lifts his arm off the mirror. He quickly grabs his things and heads out, no longer up for training.

By the time he leaves the company, it’s a couple of hours past noon. Unwilling to go back to an empty house, Donghae decides to stay at a café he used to frequent during his trainee days. He enters the café and is relieved to see that there aren’t that many people inside the establishment. Donghae takes his time walking through the café before settling himself in a secluded booth in the corner. Soon enough, an old man appearing to be in his 50s approaches him, notepad in hand. Donghae swears that he sees a flash of recognition in the old man’s eyes and is worried that he’s been recognized as an idol, but is relieved when the old man doesn’t comment and only takes his order. The old man leaves after his order is taken, and Donghae looks around the café, losing himself in his thoughts.

“Oppa!”

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by the call of the girl who approaches his booth. She sits down across from him, an apologetic expression on her face.

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t worry about it, Sooyeon.” he replies, a playful grin on his face. “I’d wait for you forever.”

She swats at him in response, laughing. “You’re so cheesy! It’s embarrassing!”

“Only for you~” he croons, causing her face to wrinkle.

“Ugh, enough with the aegyo!” she complains, but the twinkle in her eyes reveal that her annoyance is only for show.

“Aw, but Sooyeonie!” he whines, continuing his act.

She laughs in response, unable to contain herself.

“Babo Bada.” she says affectionately, a bright smile on her face.

“Pretty Sica~” he replies, reaching out to touch her hand –

– only to reach out into thin air. As soon as he makes contact, she vanishes. He blinks hard, and the harsh reality of the present comes crashing down on him.

The old man returns, coffee in hand, when he suddenly makes a noise of recognition.

“You… You’re that boy from Mokpo, right?”

Donghae regards the old man warily, afraid that he’s been found out. “Yes, that’s right.”

“I remember you. You always used to come around with that girl of yours. Time sure flies by, doesn’t it?” the old man says jovially as he reminisces. “But… where’s that girl of yours? Late as usual?” he jokes.

A bittersweet smile takes over Donghae’s face. “She’s… out of the country right now.”

“Is that so?” the old man replies, a thoughtful look on his face. “Tell you what, bring her here when she comes back, and I’ll let you order whatever you two want, on the house.”

The old man leaves him after that, and Donghae chuckles bitterly.

If only I could bring her back, ajusshi, I would…

He finishes his coffee in silence.

Back at his room, Donghae takes out his laptop and other instrumental equipment, deciding to try and distract himself by filling in the silence with some chords and beats.

Minutes tick by as he fiddles around with his laptop, various runs and harmonies echoing throughout his room, but nothing sounds right to him. Aggravated, he flings his headphones onto his bed and launches himself over to his desk using his office chair.

Maybe I’ll have an easier time if I get some lyrics done first…

Half an hour passes, and the only thing he manages to make is a mess of his floor, littered with discarded balls of paper containing half-hearted lyrics. Donghae lets out a frustrated groan and leans back in his chair.

Why is this so hard?

Inadvertently, Jessica starts invading his thoughts once more.

She always was my favorite inspiration…

He shakes his head, hoping to organize his thoughts. Slowly, but surely, he is able to focus on a message that he wants his lyrics to express.

Jessica rests her head on his shoulder, sneaking a peek at the paper he regards intensely as he continues to jot down lyrics.

“You’re like a queen and beautiful. I just can’t be without you, girl.” she slowly reads aloud. Donghae feels himself flush and silently hopes that the reason she read out his lyrics so slowly isn’t because of his terrible handwriting of the English language. Thankfully, she doesn’t comment on it.

“What’s this for, Donghae?”

“I’m working on a new song. I’m hoping that I can reveal it at our upcoming concert.” he replies, still not taking his eyes off the paper.

She plants a soft kiss upon his cheek. “I’m proud of you, fishy. It must be hard to come up with all of this by yourself.”

“Not really,” he says. “Not when I have my favorite muse beside me.”

“Favorite muse?”

“You, silly,” he says, flicking her forehead lightly, causing her to squeal in her dolphin-like way. “Look at this.” he says, pulling her into his lap and pointing to the lyrics.

“I think of what we were like when I first met you. Your bashful smile, your shy words, your cold hands. I thought of you every day, I couldn’t do anything, almost going crazy. Unable to turn my gaze away, like a fool, I could only lose myself in you. I want to walk together with you for a lifetime, I will protect you, I love you, my love.” she reads.

“Do you like it?”

“It’s… amazing.” she says. “I love it.” Jessica continues with a shy smile, tears forming in her eyes. “Thank you so much. I can’t believe that anyone would ever write a song about me.”

“’Cause you, you are so beautiful~” Donghae sings softly, pulling her in closer as he holds her hands tightly. “Let me gasp against your lips to say this phrase,”

He lowers his head and gently presses his lips against hers.

“I love you.”

Donghae slowly exhales, releasing the tension from his body. He takes another look at the paper on his desk, now covered with hastily written lyrics generated from his sudden bout of inspiration.

Another time, then. he thinks to himself.

After his disastrous song-writing session, Donghae takes a quick shower before deciding to retire for the night. Once sufficiently clean, he dries himself off then puts on his clothes and unceremoniously flops onto his bed. As he adjusts himself into a more comfortable position he sighs to himself, mentally exhausted by the day’s events. Impulsively, he grabs his phone and scrolls through his gallery, stopping when he finds an old picture of him and Jessica.

We were so happy together back then… he thinks, lightly tracing the image with his thumb.

He continues to scroll through his pictures before deciding to finally go to sleep. Just as how it has always been since she left, she continues to ade his thoughts, the memory of her haunting him up until the last moment before he falls asleep.

If I can only be with her in my dreams… then may I never wake up.

Donghae abruptly sits up, startled by his unexpected waking up from his sleep. As always, he reaches out to his side, seeking out her warmth, only to feel the cold air of emptiness beside him. He slowly lowers his hand, and it falls limp to his side. The numbers 2:14 flash brightly on his clock, a stark contrast from the darkness of dusk that consumes his room. He gradually lies back down onto his bed and shuts his eyes. Restless, he tosses and turns, an unsettling feeling nagging at him. He opens his eyes and this time his clock reads 2:47.

Finally giving up on falling asleep, he gets his phone and scrolls through his Instagram. He watches through his old videos one by one, trying to distract his mind with other memories that excluded her. It’s as he’s watching his old SM Town videos when he loses himself in his memories once more.

The last SM Town concert that she participated in.

He walks through the stage, interacting with his precious hoobaes. When he passes by Siwon, his older bandmate gives him a cheeky grin and makes a gesture to a pair of girls making their way towards him. The younger Jung mostly ignores him, but that’s alright with him because his attention is only on the older Jung who is currently waving and smiling at him in a way that makes his heart flutter just like it always has since day one.

The video clip loops over and over, just like the memory of her that is forever imprinted in his mind.

No matter how many times he tries to forget, every day is a fruitless struggle.

Because no matter how many times he tries to forget…

He endlessly restarts the cycle of recalling the memory of her.