Chapter 2

It had been two months since Ryeowook had signed off on his own damnation. Every morning he would wake up in a warm embrace, his younger band mate holding him close. Not that he was complaining, not even in the slightest, except that occasionally when Henry was holding him a little too close, certain feelings awoke within him. And with certain feelings came certain...uprisings.

The first time Ryeowook woke up with an after one of their cuddle sessions, he silently thanked every deity he could think of that he was the little spoon. He somehow managed to wriggle himself out of Henry's embrace that fateful morning without actually waking the younger up, and quietly ran into the bathroom, attempting to will to go down. Luckily, it was early enough for Kyuhyun to be sound asleep, so no one noticed what had happened.

The rest of the band seemed quite fine with their arrangement. At first, Leeteuk had been worried, but Henry assured him that nothing was going on, just "friends helping out friends", as he put it. That didn't exactly ease the elder's mind at first, but after many assurances, he just gave up. Whatever makes them happy, he surely kept repeating to himself, as he did at odd times under his breath with every other strange yet harmless thing their group managed to inflict upon his peace of mind.

It must have been a Saturday morning, Ryeowook recalled. The morning had been spent shooting yet another Chinese variety show - this one involving them playing random silly games and cutting Henry out of a very long piece of plastic wrap. He never understood the fascination of wrapping stuff and hiding it - who'd want to hide a person as beautiful as Henry, he couldn't understand.

Small water droplets were dripping from his hair as he leaned over the bed, where Henry was sprawled out, enticing even if it was merely by accident.

"You coming to bed soon, hyung?" The younger whined, stretching his arms up with a cute little noise. "I'm sleepy and tired and cold."

The lips wrapped so sweetly around the words, Ryeowook simply stared without making sense of what was said.

"Hyuuuuuuuuung," Henry whined again, pulling the elder out of his trance, "bed. Now."

A strange feeling stirred inside Ryeowook, but he quickly locked it away in a box in his brain and never looked twice.

"Just a second, Henry." He ran the towel through his hair again and tossed it into a direction unknown. Throwing himself on top of Henry, he snuggled up into the taller boy's neck and breathed in deeply. He always smelled sweet and tangy at the same time. He wanted nothing more than to wrap himself up in the scent, letting the sweetness and tang and that faintest underlying hint of musk intoxicate him.

A heaviness set over the two of them, a strange tension engulfing the two boys. Time seemed to slow down, and Ryeowook could have sworn he saw the hands on the clock stopping, as he laid there on top of the younger boy, the warmth of his body chasing away the chill of his harsh reality.

"I kinda really like you," he murmured against Henry's neck, his words barely coherent.

"Hm?" Henry raised his head trying to get a closer look. "I didn't catch that..."

"Nothing important. Sleep now." Ryeowook's eyes felt heavy and sleep blurred his mind. But before he completely slipped away, he swore he felt a pair of lips brush his forehead and minty breath tickling his skin.

----

“Hyung, I think we need to talk.” 

Ryeowook suddenly felt his heart sink. It was over. Just like that, everything he had ever wanted, he had ever dreamed of, it was all over. Henry was tired of him and wanted to be done with him.

The two boys were sitting at the breakfast table. The sun was shining brightly outside, illuminating the blonde highlights in Henry’s hair (Ryeowook would never stop wondering how he still had hair on his head after all the bleaching), as they ate in comfortable silence...until Henry decided to speak up.

“Is everything...okay?” Ryeowook asked tentatively, his heart pounding. He placed the cup he had been holding back on the table, fearing that he’d spill its contents any second with his trembling.

“Yeah, no, hyung, everything is awesome. I just...want to talk about us.” Henry bit his lower lip, looking a bit shy and… worried? “Like...uhm- we have been doing our cuddle thing for a while, right, and it’s awesome, and I really like it, but like...ah...how can I say this...hm,” he chewed the words around his mouth, trying to find the right expression.

Ryeowook’s mind was racing. The tiny ember that had sparked back to life was a mistake. Everything he had foolishly let himself hope for again was about to crush him under its weight- “You found somebody else and you want to stop this and you’re tired of me and we are done,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, his voice shaky. He wasn’t going to cry, he hated crying, this was not the time…

“Wait, what?” The younger shook his head, trying to process the waterfall of words that had just left his hyung’s lips. “What, no, nothing like that! Where did you even get this idea from, like what even, what?”

The dark-haired boy just gaped at him, trying to understand what was going on. “Okay, so...you don’t want to stop?”

“Hell no, where did you even get that from?”

Ryeowook smiled shyly, ducking his head for a second to try and regain his footing. “Just...anxiety and stuff?” He said as he looked up again, relieved when he found tenderness and compassion meeting his gaze behind the ready teasing.

“Hahaha, no, nothing like this. It’s...” Henry looked away this time, rubbing the back of his neck. “ It’s a bit different. I- Okay, I don’t know how to say this but like...okay, like...ah...okay.”

“Henry,” Ryeowook interrupted, “you’re babbling.”

“You like me, right?” The words shot out of the younger’s mouth, and Ryeowook felt his chest compress. “Like...you like me like me.”

“Am I...that obvious?” He chuckled, trying to cover the blush that he could feel rising up his cheeks and out to his ears. “I mean...”

“Yeah, hyung, you are super obvious about it. But here’s the thing...uh...I’m aual.”

Ryeowook thought he heard incorrectly, trying to decipher the younger’s words, mouthing the syllables without any recognition the second time, either. “What do you...mean?”

“Okay, so, like... okay. Let me just- I need to get my phone, cuz I don’t know... words...”

Henry ran back to his room, leaving a very bewildered, blankfaced Ryeowook alone at the kitchen table. He was so busy trying to find any hint of something to connect this new - and as yet unexplained - word to, he didn’t even notice when a sleepy Kyuhyun entered the room and took the toast off his plate only to disappear back into his bedroom, not to be seen for the rest of the day.

It sounded like it might’ve been an English word, which didn’t help any. If he’d ever heard it before, he had no memory of it. His mind was drawing a big, useless blank.

“Okay, I’m back!” Henry announced, smiling wide with his mouth though the rest of him was tense, as if he was trying to cover it up, “and I have a dictionary!”

“So...you are aual...what is that?” The older asked, trying, wanting to understand what Henry was getting at, this single mystery word that apparently could get him so worried about their relationship.

“It means that I don’t want to have with anybody. Like ever. If possible, I mean. Like...you know.” A worried smile played on Henry’s lips, one corner starting to turn downwards, his face pleading for understanding. He had never been good at explaining stuff, and even less so in Korean. Why was this so complicated?

“So...uhm...okay? Is there more to it?” Ryeowook asked, trying to figure out what he was really getting at. Whatever he’d thought it might’ve been, he didn’t expect it to be something so simple. Maybe he didn’t understand right?

“Uh...no? Not really. I just thought... I’d- let you know… you know?”

“I know, but I still don’t get it. Henry?” He smiled softly, cupping the younger’s hand on the table. “I like you for you. I don’t... care about the rest.”

Henry beamed, his smile suddenly seeming brighter than the sun. “Really? Oh my god, this is so cool, oh, I am so happy you’re not weirded out, hyung! You are the best!”

Ryeowook just his knuckles with a sweet smile he couldn’t and didn’t want to hold back. “Is there anything else I should know? Like, anything specific, or like...you know, anything, really. I don’t know much about being aual,” he slowed down over the syllables again, not wanting to mess up this word that seemed so important, “but like...you could teach me?”

The wheels in Henry’s head started spinning, and Ryeowook could all but see the steam coming out of his ears. “Oh, yes! I can teach you, and like introduce you to people and communities and there is a thing for partners,” he was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement as he got absorbed in his thoughts that were coming out haphazard and rapidfire, “and this amazing book you could read, oh, damn, it’s in English, no, wait, I will translate it for you, and like, reference websites, and oh, yes, I am gonna educate you, yes, and like-”

“Henry,” he interrupted him, “I like you, but you’re going into overdrive. Let’s start with the basics, hm?"

With that, Henry finally stopped his flood of words, nodding twice in quick succession and settling down in his seat. Ryeowook took his other hand in his own almost as soon as he’d put it down, feeling his heart once again beating faster. They smiled at each other, and it was the smile of lovers.

It took his breath away.