“It’s over. I’m done for. I’m ruined. My spark is gone. My lucky flower finally died on me. This is the end. I give up. I’ve lost. There’s no hope.”

Jisoo sunk deeper into the couch and touched the back of her wrist to her forehead like a fainting damsel. In the kitchen, Lisa was making ramen over the stove.

“Is she being over dramatic again?” she called from the kitchen. Rose, who was scrolling through Tinder on her phone, didn’t answer.

“No, I’m not,” Jisoo replied. “I’m… being realistic for once.”

“Yeah? How’s that going?” Lisa dropped the dried ramen noodles into the boiling pot. Jisoo pouted.

“Reality ,” she said. After the disastrous interview, Jisoo had come home to the apartment she shared with Jennie, Lisa, and Rose and vented to the girls. Rose immediately got to work setting up a profile for Jisoo on Tinder and a number of other dating sites, much to Jisoo’s chagrin. As a firm believer in serendipity, destiny, and fate, Jisoo was strictly against online dating. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

Rose always insisted that she was a regular, down-to-earth college girl, but Jisoo knew that she came from old money. She drove a red Mustang and was the CEO of her own cupcake startup, liked wearing pearls, revered her mother’s dating advice, and insisted that she and Lisa call Jisoo “unni” even thought Jisoo said her first name was perfectly fine. Rose was the more conservative girl in their foursome, which was why Jisoo was taken slightly aback when she suggested online dating. 

She sat with her knees crossed on the blue couch that her parents had donated to the girls’ apartment, carefully examining each profile and occasionally asking Jisoo if she liked any of the guys that popped up. She had curlers in her hair and was wearing a red silk bathrobe that an old boyfriend had bought for her. 

“Oooh! What about this guy?” Rose said, turning the screen to Jisoo. “His name’s Taecyeon. His profile picture is of him in the Bahamas. He’s shirtless, and I like what I’m seeing. What about him? Left or right?”

Jisoo took her hand from her head and looked at the screen.

“Hmm. He sorta looks like a meathead, not my type,” she said before leaning back into the cushions. Rose looked hurt.

“What? He’s cute, and check out the six pack!” Rose said. 

“Left,” Jisoo said, pointing her finger to the left. Rose swiped left and another profile came into view.

“Ok, well how about this guy? He’s cute.” Jisoo looked at the screen, at yet another solid, muscular boy at a beach.

“Left,” she said.

“What about this guy? Wait, never mind. Too old,” Rose said. All of a sudden, Jisoo’s phone chimed. She reached for it and her lit up at the notification.

“Ooh, someone matched with me,” she said, sitting up. Rose put her phone down and scooted up next to Jisoo to see the screen.

“Really, who?” Rose said. She looked down at the photo and raised a brow. “That guy?”

Jisoo scoffed. “There is no need for that tone,” she said. “I’m the one who’s going to date him not you.”

“I thought you said ‘meathead’ wasn’t your type?”

“What? How can you say that?” Jisoo said, slightly offended. “He’s not a meathead, look, he’s holding a camera. He’s probably a photographer or something. It’s artsy! And his arms are nice. And we matched!”

“Ok, fine. Then send him a message.”

“No!” Jisoo said, holding her phone against her chest. “I’m not going to message him, he’s going to message me. That’s how it works, right? There, see? He messaged me. And he said hi, so I will say hello back.”

Lisa ran over from the kitchen and looked over Jisoo’s shoulder as she typed into the chat box: “Hi.” She added a smiley face for good measure. The girls held their breath as three little dots danced on the screen, indicating that he was texting back.

“What are you up to?” the stranger said.

“What am I up to?” Jisoo said, looking to Lisa and Rose. “What should I say?”

“Uh, tell him you’re just relaxing at home,” Lisa suggested, and Jisoo typed:

“Nothing much, just relaxing at home. You?”

Sent. A minute later, the stranger wrote back: “Relaxing at home, too. Wanna see?”

“See what?” Jisoo asked, but before she could even ask him that question, he had sent a photo. Of himself, completely with one hand wrapped tightly around his…

“I hate online dating,” Jisoo said, rolling her eyes so hard, she was sure she’d give herself an aneurysm. Both Lisa and Rose groaned as Jisoo exited the chat room. 

“Seriously? What part of ‘I’m just relaxing at home’ makes him think that means ‘please send me a picture of your junk?’” Lisa said. “Men are literally the worst. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. Anyone want ramen?”

“Block him,” Rose said, taking Jisoo’s phone and hitting the “block” button. “Just move on to the next profile. There’s tons of hot guys in this area, we’re smack dab in the middle of college town. Don’t worry, unni, we are going to get you a date.”

“I don’t think I can do this,” Jisoo said, standing up and going into the kitchen to eat Lisa’s ramen. 

“Yes, you can!” Rose said, following her. Jisoo took a pair of chopsticks from the drawer and began eating the noodles straight from the pot. 

“I’m an old lady by today’s dating standards,” Jisoo said, leaning against the counter. “And we already know that these guys aren’t going to be into me. No one has before. I should just give up.”

“Hey!” Rose said, snatching Jisoo’s chopsticks and holding her gaze with steady intensity. “I will not tolerate this disgusting display of low self-esteem! My mama always said that a girl’s best feature is her confidence. Come on, let’s keep looking. Half the population of this city are men, we are going to find one for you to fall in love with, and you are getting that job!”

“Hey, you know what?” Lisa said, jumping up onto the counter and chewing on a granola bar. “What about Jaebum? Your cute TA?”

Jisoo’s eyes widened. “No,” she said. “Hard pass.” 

“Why not?” Lisa asked, waving her granola bar at Jisoo. “You already like him and—“

“I know, but… I don’t know, I just can’t,” Jisoo said, taking her chopsticks back from Rose. “I’m sorry, I’m crazy. I think he’s cute and he’s smart and he’s really cool, but I just can’t think straight when I’m around him, I don’t need that kind of stress.”

“Just out of curiosity, unni, why haven’t you ever dated anyone?” Rose asked, taking a chair from the dining room and sitting in it like it was story time. Jisoo shrugged.

“Because boys don’t like me,” she said.

“H